Alec hasn't had the best week. Monday there was a demon attack downtown that resulted in the death of three mundane kids. Tuesday, Izzy fell ill to a mysterious Seelie poison. Wednesday, Clary managed to get Alec's ass into trouble with a Ravener demon, which he barely escaped, if he may add. Thursday consisted of Alec trying to calm his mother down after Jace had been drugged with a mysterious tranquilizer. And today was Friday. The end of a terrible week.
Not that Alec hadn't minded the distraction, after everything that has happened within the past few weeks, he's been happy to keep busy. Especially after the fallout of his relationship with Magnus. If he were honest with himself, the main reason why he hasn't broken down was because his mind was too busy to process the fact that his heart was indeed shattered beyond repair. And if he hasn't eaten or slept much in the past week, well... that was his little secret.
As Alec shot arrows at the targets in the training room, he focused on improving his fire rate. The demon attack on Wednesday had almost proved fatal because of Alec's slow timing in firing arrows. He had to make sure, given the situation were to occur again, that it never came that close again. Nevertheless that there was also a good chance that problem was also what had caused the tragic death of three mundane kids earlier that Monday. They were supposed to be saving people, not getting them killed. He had to work on being better. Getting fast and stronger and never showing any signs of weakness.
So that's how he spent his Thursday night and early Friday morning. When he went to go retrieve his arrows from the targets, a voice spoke from the doorway.
"How long have you been down here?"
Alec spun around to see his parabati leaning against the doorframe.
The eldest Lightwood shrugged, "Don't know."
"Were you up all night?" Jace frowned, walking further into the room.
"What time is it?" Alec asked.
"Five in the morning," Jace replied.
Alec blinked. Had it really been that long? It only felt like he was in the training room for a few hours at most. "I've only been here since four," Alec lied. "Couldn't go to back to sleep."
Jace raised an eyebrow in his direction, clearly unconvinced. "Something tells me otherwise."
"Then your intuition is wrong," Alec yanked one of the arrows out of the target.
"My intuition is never wrong," Jace protested.
Alec scoffed and turned away from the target, "I can think of a few occasions."
"You wound me," Jace crossed his arms, but his eyes sparked in amusement. There was a moment of silence before Jace sighed, "Talk to me, Alec."
Alec walked over to the second target, "What's there to talk about?"
"I know something's going on in that head of yours," Jace pressed. "When's the last time you've gotten a good night's sleep?"
"This week," Alec answered, again another lie.
"Somehow I don't believe that," Jace shook his head.
"And why would you care, exactly?" Alec challenged. "Isn't Izzy the one who's supposed to be the mother hen?"
"Well, seeing as how you've been avoiding people at every chance you can get, I have a right to be worried," Jace said.
"I haven't been avoiding people," Alec objected.
"Really?" Jace was not convinced in the slightest. "The only times that I've seen you this week were only when there were demon attacks. You haven't been at dinner, you're rarely in your room, you sulk around your office, and you pull all-nighters in the training room. We're not blind, Alec."
"I've just been busy," Alec turned back around to retrieve the arrows from the third practice target.
"Busy or obsessed?" Jace asked. "This is about Magnus, isn't it?"
Alec heard a snap echo through the room.
"Alec!" Jace's eyes widened as he walked over to the Shadowhunter.
Alec felt a sharp pain in his hand. When he looked down, he saw that one of his arrows had snapped and the wooden staff had sliced his hand. He dropped the broken arrow with a pained hiss.
"Let me see," Jace went to reach for Alec's hand.
Alec yanked his hand away, "I'm fine." He pulled his stele out of his pocket and drew and iratze on the back of his injured hand.
"No you're not fine," Jace protested. "Feeling heartbroken is normal, Alec."
"Not when you're the head of the institute," Alec sighed.
"Alec..."
"Just leave me alone," Alec requested as he walked out of the training room. He was grateful to see that Jace had not followed behind him.
Alec spent the next half hour taking a nice hot shower. He wouldn't admit it out loud, but Jace's words had struck a bit too close to home. The way he was acting, it wasn't him. However, he still had to be strong because he was the Head of the Institute. Yes he was heartbroken and yes he missed Magnus, but he really had no one to blame but himself and his stupid mistakes. If he had just told Magnus about the Soul Sword...
But he didn't because that's just who Alec was. He cared too much. Now look where it got him.
The way that Alec was acting now: the sleeplessness, the rare appetite, the loneliness... well, he deserved it.
Also, he just really didn't want to face everyone. If he did there was no doubt that he'd finally crack. But there were more pressing matters at the moment that had to have his full attention. Valentine being one of them. That evil man was still out there with the intent of destroying the Downworlders. Alec had to stop him before Valentine got his wish because if Alec fails... well... there was no way he'd ever forgive himself.
After the shower had finally gotten to the point where Alec couldn't stand the quickly cold-turning water, he surrendered himself to reality. After getting dressed into a fresh pair of jeans and a t-shirt, Alec threw on his leather jacket and headed down to the Ops center in search of something to take his mind off of things. As he walked down the hallway of the Institute, Alec found it a miracle to have avoided bumping into Izzy, Jace or Clary. When he made it to the Ops Center, he found out why he hadn't seen them. They were already there.
"Well, it took you long enough to get your ass down here," Izzy greeted him with a smile.
"Good morning to you too," Alec returned a small smile.
Izzy came up to give her brother a quick hug before walking back over to where she was standing over the center console.
"You guys got anything?" Alec came to stand beside his sister.
"Nothing new from yesterday I'm afraid," Izzy sounded disappointed. "Every lead we get is a dead end."
"What about attacks?" Alec tried again.
"All quiet for now," Clary was the one to answer this time.
"That's good," Alec nodded his approval, feeling a little disgusted to notice his own disappointment. "Maybe this day will go better than this entire week."
"Oh come on, it hasn't been that bad," Clary laughed.
Alec just raised an eyebrow at her.
Clary gave a sheepish smile, "I guess it has been a crappy week, huh?"
Izzy scoffed in agreement. "You can say that again."
Jace scanned Alec's features for a moment while the latter pretended not to notice.
"So what's the plan for today?" Izzy asked.
"Just lookouts," Alec shrugged. "I'll send a few groups to do a routine morning watch."
"Sounds like a boring day," Jace commented.
"For once it does," Alec agreed.
And that's when an alarm went off.
Izzy sighed in defeat. "And there goes that plan."
"Izzy?" Alec jumped into action.
"I'm on it," Izzy started tapping button on the screen and an image popped up. "Looks like we've got a visit from a Shax demon. It's heading towards downtown Brooklyn."
"And the day begins," Alec muttered. "Alright, the three of you gear up, we roll out in five minutes."
Clary, Jace and Izzy nodded before they all went towards the weapons room.
Not fifteen minutes later, Alec found himself glamoured and sprinting down the morning streets of Brooklyn, dodging people left and right as he trailed a Shax demon. It was annoying really. What turned out to be one Shax demon was actually ten of the parasitic creatures. Izzy and Clary went to chase after a group that branched off, Jace followed a different group and now Alec was chasing three Shax demons through New York traffic. It's not the safest thing if he had to be honest. He was surprised that a car hasn't hit him yet.
There was also the fact that the running was making him really nauseous and really lightheaded. Why he was feeling like that? He had no clue.
When Alec chased the demons into the corner of an alleyway, he finished them off with three quick arrows before running to help the others.
By the time that Alec found the others, he was glad he got there in time. He saw Clary pinned down by two of them and he quickly nocked two arrows and let them fly, freeing Clary in the process.
He ran up to her and held a hand out to her, "You okay?"
Clary accepted the hand and was hoisted to her feet. She touched her bleeding cut on her forehead. "Yeah, they surprised me."
"Where's Izzy?" Alec asked.
"They split up again," Clary explained. "She was chasing the third one that got away."
Alec looked at the cut on Clary's forehead, "You should really use an iratze."
"I'll live," Clary shrugged his concern off. "What about you? You look rather pale, Alec."
"Should I be insulted?" Alec played along, not wanting to cause any worry.
"No," Clary shook her head. "Let's go."
They ran off in the direction where Izzy had run off to. By the time they reached her, she was holding an unconscious Jace in her arms.
Alec felt his heart skip a beat. He hadn't felt anything from the parabati rune...
"What the hell happened?" Clary asked as she ran to their side.
"A car hit him," Izzy had a few tears running down her face. "I already placed some healing runes and they seem to be working but he won't wake up."
"Why the hell didn't I feel anything," Alec wondered as he knelt next to his sister.
"What do you mean you didn't feel anything?" Izzy frowned.
Alec lifted his shirt up and was relieved to see the rune still there. "So he's not dead."
"Well that's reassuring," Clary gave a sarcastic reply.
Alec shot her a warning look.
Clary sighed, "Sorry, just a little stressed right now."
Alec turned his gaze back to Izzy. "You think it's safe to get him to the institute?"
"It's not like we have any other choice, right?" Izzy replied. "We need to get him to the infirmary."
Alec nodded and he stood up before swinging the unconscious Shadowhunter up into a fireman's carry, praying that the blonde's back wasn't broken. If it was... well Alec was screwed because he may have severed it even more.
They made it to the institute ten minutes later and Alec burst through the door shouting, not stopping until he made his way into the infirmary.
"I need some help here," He called out.
A short nurse with blond-curly hair ran over. "What happened?"
"He was hit by a car," Alec informed her, his voice frantic. "My sister already put some healing runes on him, but he's still unconscious."
"I'll need you to please wait outside," The nurse requested. "I'll see to your friend Mr. Lightwood."
Alec would've argued, but he felt so tired and drained that he went outside and sat down in one of the chairs. He let his posture become slump and he closed his eyes.
"You look like shit," Izzy's voice caused Alec to jump.
"By the Angel, Izzy, you scared the hell out of me," Alec placed a hand over his racing heart.
"And jumpy too," The younger Lightwood noticed. "You feeling okay, Alec?"
"I'm fine," Alec rubbed a hand down his face. "It's just been a long week."
"Yeah, I guess we all have that excuse," Izzy sat down next to him. "What did the nurses say?"
"They're seeing him right now. He was still unconscious when I brought him in," Alec replied.
"Damn Shax demons," Izzy shook her head.
"Where's Clary?" Alec asked. "I'm surprised she's not banging down the door yet."
"She got a call from Simon, he said it was urgent," Izzy shrugged.
Alec frowned. "Should we go with her?"
Izzy laughed. "Oh, no, not that type of urgent. No this was 'I think a girl likes me' urgent."
"I'm guessing it's Maia," Alec smiled softly.
"I'll place bets that it is," Izzy crossed her arms.
"Well, good for them," Alec muttered sincerely. He may not get to be happy, but if someone else got to then good for him.
There was a silence that swept over them before it was broken by Izzy's loud sneeze.
Alec raised an eyebrow at her. "Bless you."
"Oh shut up," She sniffled. "Damn allergies."
"You sure it's allergies? You sounded pretty congested this morning," Alec observed.
"I never get sick," She shook her head.
"Doesn't mean you can't ever get sick," Alec noted. "You are half-human, after all."
"Fine. I refuse to be sick," Izzy revised her statement.
"Still doesn't mean you're not coming down with something," Alec chuckled before placing a hand on her forehead. "And you're burning like an oven. Jesus, Iz."
"I said I'm fine," Izzy shook her head.
"And I say that you're most definitely sick," Alec replied. "Why the hell did you go with us if you knew you were coming down with something? Do you know how dangerous that is?"
"Oh, come on, Alec," Izzy rolled her eyes.
"No, Izzy, I'm serious," Alec lectured her. "What happened if you were dizzy and got hurt because you were caught off guard? What happened if you passed out in the middle of the street?"
"Alec, I can handle myself just fine," Izzy stated.
"I'm not saying you can't," Alec corrected himself. "I'm just saying you're an idiot for not taking care of yourself."
"And you call me the mother hen," Izzy scoffed.
"And you call me stubborn," Alec shot back.
Izzy stood up, "I said I'm..."
She stumbled and Alec thanked the angel that he had a heightened reflex rune because he shot straight up and caught her arm before she collapsed.
"And that is what you call a dizzy spell," Alec grumbled as he rightened his sister. "You okay?"
"That was rather unpleasant," Izzy's pale face was starting to break into sweat.
"I bet. Now what you need is rest," Alec told her. "You can either help me get you to your room without falling on your face, or you can sleep in an uncomfortable chair."
"Do I get a better option?" Izzy asked.
"Afraid not," Alec didn't sound apologetic.
"To bed it is then," Izzy sighed. "I can walk myself, you know."
"Somehow I don't trust you to make it there in one piece right now," Alec crossed his arms.
"I'm not a piece of glass," Izzy objected. "Seriously, Alec, if I feel dizzy I'll call for help, but right now, stay here. I want to know Jace's condition when you find out."
Alec thought about it for a moment before sighing in defeat. "Fine. Just don't hit your head please."
Izzy just shrugged before making her way down the hall and out of sight.
When he was alone, Alec sat down as he felt his legs start to tremble.
That night, Alec found himself in bed unable to fall asleep as he stared at the ceiling above him. He felt so drained emotionally and physically that he would've welcomed the sleep. However, his mind was always against him and his wish was never granted.
So Alec just laid there in silence all night, feeling his stomach start to churn in nauseous protest.
Jace had been fine after a few hours in the infirmary, but had to stay overnight as some of his broken bones were slowly healing themselves back together. His concussion was gone and his bruises were healed, but his ribs had been completely shattered and they were taking the longest to heal. Clary was out and he wasn't sure when she was going to be back. She had said something about checking in with Luke and then going out to dinner with him, Maia and Simon. Izzy was passed out in her bed the last time Alec had checked on her.
He was pretty sure that she had managed to get the flu which was surprising to say the least. Izzy never got sick, but when she did she always got really sick.
So Alec was alone with nothing to do. If he had been on good terms with Magnus, then he would've been at the warlock's apartment, probably watching a movie while enjoying popcorn with him. However, that went to shit, so now Alec considered himself a loner.
It must've been at least three hours of lying there before he was hit with a wave of nausea and Alec felt himself bolting for his bathroom, barely making it to the sink before he felt his stomach convulse and he heaved. He was surprised he was able to bring anything up considering his last real meal had been days ago. He'd been so busy and preoccupied that food hadn't really crossed his mind. Not to mention that fact that he just hadn't felt hungry. He's not stupid, though. He'd grab some crackers and and apple if he remembered, but nowadays that was every few days.
The painful episode had only lasted a minute before Alec stood over the sink, gasping for breath, sweat dripping from his face. When Alec finally got a look at his reflection he cringed away from the person he stared at. His face was pale, his cheekbones more pronounced, but most of all, there were dark circles under his eyes that showed the insomnia he'd been facing since the breakup.
No wonder Jace had asked if he was okay. He really did look like shit.
However, Alec just brushed it off. He'd be fine, it was just his stomach rebelling all that water he had before lying down. He took a quick shower and when he walked into his room, a knock sounded at the door.
Alec opened it to see a male Shadowhunter standing there.
"What is it Elias?" Alec frowned.
"There was a demon attack reported three blocks away. The victim's insides were turned to goo," The Shadowhunter reported.
Alec made a disgusted face,"That's lovely. Who's still here?"
"Everyone's out on patrol, just you and me," Elias replied.
"I guess I'll head out," Alec sighed.
"Do you want me to get Jace and Isabelle?"
Alec shook his head, "No they are currently out of commission and in no shape for a fight. Suit up and meet me in the weapons room in five minutes."
Elias nodded and Alec closed the door. Duty calls.
Alec and Elias made it to the scene of the crime in under fifteen minutes and by then, the smell was starting to get bad.
Alec scrunched his nose up in disgust as he tried to not throw up.
"What could've done this?" Elias wondered.
"I'm guessing a demon with poison," Alec spoke up, his voice tight. "Mundanes don't do well with demon poison."
"Are we sure it's even a demon?" Elias asked.
"No other explanation to it," Alec stated.
"Should we split up?" Elias asked.
Alec nodded slowly after thinking about it for a moment. "Whatever it is, there is still a chance that it wouldn't have gotten very far. You head south a few blocks and I'll go north. Meet back here in thirty minutes. If not, you know how to contact me."
Elias nodded in confirmation before they split up.
Any other day, Alec would've been happy to be hunting, but right now he just wanted some peace and quiet. His muscles felt achey, he was freezing even though it was summer, and on top of all that, he was getting really dizzy and nauseous. He didn't know what he was thinking. He should've called Clary, he should've notified Jace or Izzy. He should've left a message. But he didn't and it was too late.
As he continued down the street, his head kept getting fuzzier and his surrounding continued to blur. That must've been how the demon snuck up on him. He felt something pierce his shoulder and Alec collapsed, letting the darkness greet him.
When Alec came around for the first time, he was aware of panicked voiced and someone carrying him.
"...happened?" A voice demanded, but it sounded far away.
"...found him... alley... poison..." A second voice faded in and out.
There were more words exchanged, but Alec wasn't able to focus enough to understand them. He became faintly aware of being placed on a soft surface and a hand came to rest on his cheek.
"Alexander..." Was all Alec heard before he slipped under once again.
The second time he came around he felt like he was on fire. There was someone screaming and Alec panicked. He had to go help that person, they sounded like they were dying.
"Alexander..." A voice came through his consciousness.
Up until that point, Alec hadn't realized that there were voices talking.
"Alec, calm down!" Another voice pleaded.
That was when he realized that he was the one who was screaming in agony.
"The pain's too strong..." That familiar voice made his heart rate speed up. The voice sounded so comforting...
"...do anything?" A feminine voice asked.
"I can try... sedate..." The voices were getting far away again.
Then suddenly... the pain was gone and Alec was floating into darkness once more.
The third time that Alec came back to the land of the living, he knew it was for real that time. His limbs were achy and tired and he felt like he went through a meat grinder. Needles to say, he felt terrible.
The next thing that he was aware of was that he was on a soft platform... it was too comfortable to be a cot and it was most definitely not an alleyway floor. So where was he?
He didn't remember too much of what had happened after going to look for the strange demon. He remembered passing out, but he didn't know how he ended up where he was now.
Speaking of which, where was he now?
Alec struggled for a moment before he was able to open his eyes. The blinding lights from the window had him let out an embarrassing whimper.
He heard a soft curse before the light was gone and someone came to sit beside him.
"You back with us, Alexander?" The voice was soft and hesitant.
That voice startled him. "Magnus?" He asked, his voice raspy and Alec felt himself wince at the dryness in his throat.
"That's right," The Warlock placed a gentle hand on his face. "Can you open those eyes for me?"
Alec struggled to open his eyes a second time, but with the light now gone it was easier. He felt his groggy eyes blink slowly a few times as images came into focus. When things did finally focus, Alec saw the face of a very worried warlock.
"What happened?" He asked, his throat protesting the action.
"There was a Kuri demon attack, you and a fellow Shadowhunter went to check it out," Magnus told him, his voice quiet, as if he was afraid of being too loud. "When you didn't meet back at the rendezvous point, the Shadowhunter placed in an urgent call. Jace found you passed out in an alley with the demon's venom in your blood. He brought you here."
Alec frowned. "I... I don't remember that."
"I didn't think you would," Magus replied. "You weren't in the best shape to begin with. Not only did you have demon poison in your veins, but you were also suffering from a fever, insomnia, malnutrition and pneumonia."
Alec frowned, "What?"
Magnus just shook his head and that was when Alec got a good look at him for the first time. There were bags under the warlock's eyes, his hair was askew and his face was missing the make-up he always wore.
"Magnus?" Alec tried to sit up, but groaned as his muscles protested.
Magnus placed a hand on Alec's shoulder to coax him back down. "Don't try to sit up just yet, your body is still healing."
"How long was I out?" Alec wondered.
"Almost a week," Magnus looked away from the Shadowhunter's eyes.
Alec sighed. "Magnus..."
When the warlocks shoulders began to shake, Alec felt something inside him crack. Magnus rarely ever cried. The only time that Alec could recall seeing the warlock break down was after Magnus had suffered the agony rune. To see him in this state because of his own selfishness... it hurt.
Alec reached up, despite his arm's protest, to rest his hand upon the warlock's cheek. "Magnus, look at me."
It took Magnus a moment before his tearful gaze rested on the Shadowhunter's face.
The terrified look in the warlock's eyes made Alec feel guilty. He's seen Magnus scared only once before and even then, he knew that Magnus despised showing any signs of vulnerability. To see him like this, Alec couldn't help but regret being the cause of the worry.
"Magnus, I'm okay," Alec soothed the warlock.
Magnus shook his head. "You were so close to..."
He didn't have to finish the sentence. Alec knew what he was trying to say. You were so close to dying.
"But I didn't."
Magnus just nodded as he took in a deep breath in an attempt to get his emotions under control. After a few minutes, with his voice still slightly wavering, Magnus cleared his throat.
"I should go let to the others know you're awake," Magnus said before gently lifting Alec's hand off his face and leaving the room.
Alec wanted to go after the warlock, wanted to hold him tight and apologize for everything that went wrong, for screwing things up beyond repair. However, the Shadowhunter had a feeling that if he got out of this bed, Magnus would kick his ass, it didn't matter if they were on bad terms or not. A client was a client, after all.
So he did the one thing that he knew he could do.
He curled into a ball and wondered when things got so out of control.
"Alec, please talk to us," Isabelle's voice broke through Alec's consciousness.
It's been two days since he was brought back to the institute and they've been two long days. The first day, Alec tried to sleep because he was exhausted. However, his life hated him and he couldn't sleep because his mind wouldn't shut up. Not to mention that he's still currently wallowing in self-pity. The second day had consisted of trying to avoid everyone possible. Considering that his sister refused to leave his room, he wasn't doing the best job at that.
So, in return, Alec was busy flipping through a book while sitting on his bed and ignoring his sister in any way he could.
"Alec," Isabelle insisted, taking the book away from him and setting it down.
"I was reading that," Alec raised an eyebrow at her.
"No you weren't, you were just pretending to," Izzy rolled her eyes. "You were hoping I'd give up and leave. Well, I hate to break it to you, Alec, but that's not happening."
"I could jump out the window," Alec suggested.
Izzy glared at him, "That's not funny."
"I thought it was," Alec shrugged.
"We need to talk, Alec," Isabelle stated.
"And what is there to talk about?" Alec asked.
"You know what there is to talk about."
"I'm afraid you're going to have to spell it out for me," Alec crossed his arms.
"Fine. Where do I being, huh?" Izzy sarcastically drawled. "You hid the fact that you weren't feeling well, you haven't eaten anything in god-knows-when, and you hid the fact that you haven't been sleeping. By the Angel, Alec, what the hell were you thinking?"
"Oh, come on, Iz," Alec scoffed. "That's a little too dramatic."
"There's nothing dramatic about it!" Izzy exclaimed. "You almost died!"
"But I didn't," Alec reminded her. "It wasn't that bad of an injury."
"Wasn't that bad of an injury? Your heart stopped, Alec. Magnus almost had a heart attack as he tried to resuscitate you."
Alec stopped dead, "What?"
"You were so close to dying, Alec, and all because you didn't want to admit that you weren't okay," Izzy's voice became quiet. "Why do you have to be so strong all the time? Why do you insist on being some sort of soldier with no emotions? Ever since you broke up with Magnus, you've become a completely different person."
"First of all, I didn't break up with him," Alec began. "He broke up with me."
"And now you're just being childish," Izzy shook her head.
"Second of all," Alec continued, ignoring her comment, "I have to be strong. Being the Head of the Institute, I have no other choice. If I show any weakness..."
"You don't have to prove yourself, Alec," Izzy reassured him. "We all know you're a strong leader."
"Not everyone," Alec sighed.
"To anyone who doesn't, well, screw them," Izzy stated. "It's okay to be heartbroken over something like that. You don't have to suffer in silence. Jace and I are always here for you. I just wish you'd remember that."
"I do know that, Iz," Alec came to sit back down at the edge of the bed. "I just..." He ran a hand through his hair. "I've just had a crappy few weeks."
"Everyone does once in awhile," Isabelle smiled understandingly. "Just promise to say something next time you're feeling bad? We're here for you, Alec."
Alec stood back up and hugged his sister. "I know. Thank you, Izzy."
Isabelle returned the gesture before pulling away and squeezing her brother's shoulder in comfort. "That's what family's for."
I hope you guys enjoyed! This idea kinda came out of no where, but yeah. This is my first Shadowhunters Fanfic and I've got to say... it was an interesting experience :P
Anyways, this is supposed to be a one-shot, but if I get enough requests, I will make another chapter.
Was it good? Was it bad? Feel free to let me know!