Sara sank onto the bed, staring at the wall. She knew she'd fucked up by pushing Ava away. Ava who had just helped bring her back from Mallus a second time. Dropping her head into her hands, the normally unflinching captain of the Waverider felt the first makings of tears in her eyes, not moving to brush them away.
"Goddamn it," she muttered, falling back onto the bed as her head landed on the pillow. She put a shaking hand onto the pillow, Ava's scent wafting into her nose as she closed her eyes. Feeling a piece of paper under hand, she pulled it out and sat up, wiping her eyes.
Opening it, the paper read "This spot reserved for the girlfriend of Sara Lance" in beautiful lettering. Sara felt her heart break again, setting the note to the side and clutching the pillow in her arms.
"Damn it!" she yelled, slamming her fist into the wall, feeling her knuckles split before she hit the wall several times more, each strike bloodying her hand a bit more. "Goddamn it!" She screamed and threw the pillow back onto the bed, her hands clenching. "I keep losing everyone! Nyssa, Laurel, Leonard…now Ava. Why do I lose everyone I care for? What's wrong with me?!"
Sara sank onto the floor, drawing her knees up and not caring about her bloody hand. She buried her head in her arms and lap, shoulders shaking as she felt the tears fall down her face. She was like that for a while before a familiar voice filled the air.
"Captain?" Gideon asked, her voice concerned for Sara.
"Not now, Gideon. Please…" Sara whispered.
"I know this isn't a good time. And I am sorry, but…"
Sara sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose and wiping her eyes. "But what, Gideon?" she asked, looking at her bloodied hand before she stood up and walked to her sink. "What, Gideon?"
Gideon was silent. "Two things that should be brought to your attention. First, a file that Director Hunter asked me to delete, 357-A, that I backed up to your personal computer. I do not know the contents of it, but I know it has to do with Director Sharpe…as much as you might not want to see that right now."
"After the mess I just made with Ava, I don't….think I want to see that file just yet," Sara said, turning on the water and holding her hands under the sink, the hot scalding her cut hand before she splashed water on her face to erase the tear marks. She dried her hands and face, wrapping gauze around the cut. "What's the second thing?"
"We've received a call from S.T.A.R. Labs. Dr. Snow said your father's there and wishes to speak to you."
"Alright. I'll take the jumpship," Sara sighed. "I could use the distraction from my own heart. Tell Amaya and the others and I'm leaving her in charge. Don't let Rory blow up the ship, please."
"I'll do my best, Captain." Gideon said.
Sara gathered a bag and her suit and some clothes, giving one last look to her bed before she walked out, the door closing behind her as she headed for the Jumpship, praying that nothing was wrong with her father or mother. She knew she had a problem to fix with Ava, and she hoped talking to her father would help.