Note: In my main story, Broken, I use the English dub names. Well, I regret that. The English dub pales in comparison to the Japanese version. Damn 4Kids, right? Well anyway, I had a free moment in my studying for finals and decided to write this little one shot instead of writing another chapter for Broken…especially since it would leave a huge cliffhanger. I hope you like it!
*-*-*-*-* The Sun Rises and Sets *-*-*-*-*
"I'm sorry."
I couldn't look him in the eye. Pain erupted in my heart at the sound of his words. He was trying to be gentle, I know that. That doesn't change how it made me feel.
Time seemed to freeze in that moment. Nothing was said for the longest time. I continued to look away from him. My heartache and embarrassment kept my eyes locked on the floor. I tried to hold back tears, I honestly did my best. It wasn't his fault. I should've said something, but instead I allowed the silence to swallow us whole. Not a sound was heard except for the soft sound of water around the boat.
I felt a gentle hand rest hesitantly on my shoulder. My eyes were dying to look at his face, but I was afraid of what I might find. Pity…I knew that's what he felt for me. That thought alone was enough to anger me.
I shrugged off his hand and backed away from him. Still averting my eyes from his, I built up my confidence to speak. "I don't need your pity!" I cried out angrily, but it sounded more like a whimper.
He sighed sadly. "I don't pity you, Anzu…I'm genuinely sorry." He said quietly, stepping closer to her. "Please, let me explain…"
I bit down hard to hold back tears as I slowly looked at him. The sight of him tore at my heart a little more. He looked like he was in pain: his amethyst eyes glistened in the moonlight, begging for me to listen. I couldn't take any more of this. I had to leave before I completely broke down. "Atemu, I apologize if listening to you telling me why you don't love me in return doesn't interest me, but I'd rather just go to bed. See you tomorrow." I grimaced at the hurt that was evident in my tone. Before I could embarrass myself even more, I turned around briskly and tried to walk out of the small room. A hand wrapped around my wrist before I could.
"No, you must listen to what I have to say!" Atemu cried out gruffly.
I sighed, new tears forming in my eyes as I turned to face him. "I'm listening," I whispered.
He gave me a sad look before continuing. "I do love you Anzu…" He looked away. "I can't believe you would even doubt that."
Anger flared in me. "You can't? I thought you had made it pretty clear when you said 'I'm sorry' immediately following my confession. Is this some kind of joke to you? Are you trying to have a last laugh before you go to the Afterlife?"
Atemu's head jerked to look in my direction. The frustration and anger he was feeling was written all over his face. "Don't say such things! I would never hurt you!" Atemu cried angrily.
I immediately felt guilty for what I said. Damn him and his effect on me, I thought sadly. "You already have." I choked on my words.
Atemu's face softened into an expression of immense sadness. "It's the only way," he whispered solemnly.
"But why? If you love me, why couldn't you just say so?"
Atemu averted his eyes from her. "Because you shouldn't love me, and I shouldn't love you."
I swallowed hard against the lump in my throat. My stomach twisted in angry knots as I tried to respond. "What the hell do you mean?"
Atemu looked into her eyes once more. "Anzu, this isn't my world anymore. It's your world, Yugi's world. I'm not even truly alive. Soon I'll be gone, I'm almost entirely certain that Yugi will be the victor. I'm going to move on, my spirit will leave this world, and our love will have been for nothing. Do not waste your love on me when I cannot receive it."
I stared at him, my heart hammering in my chest. I wanted to break down and cry right then and there at the thought of him leaving for good. I held back my tears. "You can't tell me who to love Atemu, it's my own heart, and I have to choose who I give it away to."
Atemu smiled sadly. "And you choose to give it away to a three thousand year old man? That hardly sounds like a good idea…"
I moved closer to him. "It does to me."
He reached out and grasped my shoulders, his face just inches from mine as he spoke. "Anzu, you have your whole life ahead of you. My time is almost up, and when it is, you'll be free. If I find solace in any aspect of my leaving, it is that you will find happiness." I opened my mouth to protest whole-heartedly, but he put a finger to my lips and continued. "One day you'll meet someone. You will be his moon and his stars, the center of his universe. That's what you deserve, Anzu. You deserve someone that can hold you when you cry and make you smile when you feel that you cannot. You deserve someone that will love you and stand by you your whole life. Can't you see that I am unable to give you any of these things?"
I let go and started to cry. As much as I wished to deny it, he was right. He couldn't give me the life that I wanted. He would soon be gone, and my heart would break more than it already had. Over time, I would heal. I knew that I would never fully recover, but life would go on. Still, here and now, the pain of him leaving was unbearable.
Atemu pulled me into his arms and held me as I cried. We stayed like that for a long time, taking comfort in each others' embrace. He guided me over to his bed, gesturing for me to sit down. Confused, I did as he wished. Soon his arms were around me once more. He was sitting with his back up against the headboard. I moved closer to him, leaning my head on his shoulder. His arms tightened around me, and my sobs died down. Words weren't needed; we were both perfectly content in this moment.
After a long silence, I looked up at him, and he looked down at me quizzically. "I love you," I whispered breathlessly.
Atemu stared deep into my eyes. He lifted a hand to brush a strand of hair from my face. He smiled. "The sun rises and sets with you."
I could feel tears forming in my eyes again, but they weren't sad tears. His words were filled with meaning far beyond a simple "I love you." I couldn't find words to respond with.
As it turned out, I didn't need words. He placed his hand beneath my chin and pulled my face up to meet his gentle lips. The kiss was not demanding or even very long, but it was the sweetest thing I had ever experienced.
It was the single happiest and saddest moment of my life.
