Combat Boots and Mr. Monkey
Disclaimer: I admit it I own absolutely nothing in this fic, all Final Fantasy 8 characters and places belong to Square Enix, but the idea is mine.
A/N: This is something I thought of while trying to complete some of the miscellaneous side quests (The Obell Lake quest to be exact) during disk 3& 4 of Final Fantasy 8. Reviews and constructive criticism are welcome and appreciated; flames will be used to cause massive destruction and panic.
A/N2: someone talking "blah"
Squall's internal monologue /Whatever/
Shouting VERY LOUD!
On with the story!
On the train from Timber to Dollet…
"Ok…Why are we doing this again?" asked Zell confused "Ya know we should be chasing after Seifer in the Lunatic Pandora…Not doing favors for a monster you found in Obel lake."
/Why? Because I just got my girlfriend back? Because I'm not ready to face Seifer? I'm bored? I'm not ready to go to a place where none of us technically exist? Because the thought of a magically floating square building creeps me out? I'm hungry. Did I remember to turn in my term paper? And why do I have the strangest urge to sing? I need to stop thinking./
"Whatever" said Squall still thinking
"Look man, I just think this is a bad idea. Come on, I mean trusting a sea monster that lives at the bottom of a lake? Let's get off at East Academy and go back to Garden OK?" said Zell who was starting to worry about Squall's sanity.
"All right then, Mr. Know-It-All-Zell if you know so much more than I do. Why don't you get off at East Academy and find your way home." Said Squall annoyed.
"But! But you've got the GPS system how am I supposed to find my way home without that?" Asked Zell dismayed finally that his friend was dead set on finding this "Mr. Monkey that the Obell Lake Monster has asked them to check on.
/Seriously I don't know what Zell's problem is. It's not like I led them on any overly dangerous missions or anything……Well no more dangerous than usual. Hell, a lot of those missions have given us some pretty good stuff, there was the time we went to that tower on the Centra continent we found Odin and the Tonberry King GF. Although I'll be the first to admit killing all those tonberries was a pain in the ass/
Train intercom: Next stop East Academy, East Academy.
"Uhhh hello? Earth to Squall, come in Squall." Said Zell in an attempt to bring Squall out his retrieve. "Look man, all I'm saying is let be cautious. Do you remember what happened the last time we went on one of these do me a favor missions? Remember in Shumi Village? They had us running around looking for a bunch of useless rocks! They even told us the rocks were nothing after we found them! Where was the point in that?"
"The phoenix pinion you idiot! They gave us the phoenix pinion. Plus it helped smooth over the whole Garden Master NORG incident. Remember? Down in the basement? We kicked his ass?" said Squall exasperated.
"Yeah, I guess you're right, I mean the Shumi did give the phoenix thingy for doing that dumb rock hunt, and I guess we did owe them an apology for what we did to NORG." admitted Zell.
Train intercom: Now Leaving East Academy for Dollet, Next Stop Dollet.
"Looks like you missed your stop Zell." Said Squall smugly
"DAMN IT!" Cried Zell
"Oh well," Said Squall shrugging his shoulders "I guess you'll just have to come and find Mr. Monkey with me."
15 minutes later in Dollet….
"Hey Squall, I guess not much has changed since our Seed exam huh? But what do we do if they ask us about all the broken stuff? Or what if the giant spider chases us again?" said Zell so fast that Squall could barely hear it all.
"Wait, wait, slow down. Ok, in order, yes not much has changed since our exam. Next if we are asked about the damage, we deny everything. Lastly, if another X-ATM092, or as you call it the giant spider chases us again, we turn and run the other way." Answered Squall
"Squall can we rent a car?" asked Zell
"No."
Even more later inside the forest outside Dollet…
/Here comes that urge to sing again. But Zell is right behind me, if I start singing, he'll have license to mock me the rest of my life. But I could get back at him by having the lunch lady tell Zell that they're going to stop serving hot dogs. Yeah, I'll do that, well here it goes/
"Oh I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts…" sang Squall.
"What the? Hey I like this song. Well just as long as Seifer doesn't hear." Said Zell confused but happy, so he joins Squall in singing.
"Oh I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts… there they are standing in a row. Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head." Sang Zell and Squall, all the while pissing off a certain monkey.
"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! YOU GUYS SUCK!" Yelled Mr. Monkey from a tree to the left of Squall and Zell.
"Do you mind? We're singing here!" said Squall annoyed
"Hey Squall let's shut this monkey up." Said Zell with a mischievous grin, while handing Squall a rock a little smaller than his palm.
"Ok, let's see if my aim is as good as Irvine's." Said Squall aiming the rock to hit the monkey right between the eyes. He let it fly and the rock flew true to its mark.
"AHH! DARN IT! Y—YOU'RE JUST A BIG LOSER! SO THERE! HA—HA! LOSER! DORK! IDIOT! YOUR MOM WEARS COMBAT BOOTS!" Cried Mr. Monkey while running off to find his mommy.
"AND WHATS WRONG WITH COMBAT BOOTS! THEY'ER COMFORTABLE!" Yelled Squall angry about the insult of his mother.
"That's it I'm outta here!" said Squall stomping off, still peeved about Mr. Monkey.
"Where are ya gonna go?" asked Zell
"Esthar." Answered Squall
"Why?" asked Zell
"To ask sis if my mom ever wore combat boots. After all Laguna quiet whenever I ask about her." Answered Squall again.
In Esthar… in Ellone's room
"Hi! Squall! It's nice to see you!" Ellone greeted cheerfully "What brings you here? Did Uncle Laguna hire SeeD again?" Ellone asked
"Hey sis, it's good see you again." Said Squall "If it's all right…" Squall paused, worried about what he might hear, after thinking for a minute. "I'd like to ask you some questions about my mother, if it's Ok." Squall finally finished.
"Oh! That's fine ask away." Said Ellone giving Squall an encouraging smile
"You're going to think this is a stupid question," said Squall who was embarrassed for even asking "But did mom ever wear combat boots?"
"Hmm… let me think." Said Ellone trying to remember the stories Laguna had told her. "Well, there was this one time, but you wouldn't be interested" said Ellone blushing slightly.
"Yes I would." Persisted Squall more worried than ever.
"Well…um ok. Uncle Laguna told me there was this one time that he and your mom were playing hot sexy commando in bed, and that's what led to you." Ellone explained red faced.
/Oh…My… GOD/
"Well, Ellone it was good to see you again… I'm just gonna…leave…now." Said Squall in shock.
Back in Balamb…
"Hey chickenwuss!" leered Seifer "Where's Squall? He's late to get his butt kicked!"
"If you must know, he's in his room. Brooding as usual." Said Zell
/ Oh… My… GOD! I haven't felt this dirty since I caught Irvine getting a hard on looking at pictures of guns. I'll never think of my mom the same way again. I'll never think of my dad the same way again. Hell, I'll never think of combat boots the same EVER again…and I thought they were comfortable./
End