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Transmission Received

Subject: Prologue to my masterpiece

Sender: -

Location: -

Finn sprinted faster than he ever had before when that dream trickled out of his pineal gland. Faster than he had on any previous adventure, though, he likely didn't consider it much of an adventure. Sure, it might seem fun to view such a horrific spectacle play out on a television screen, in the safety of one's own living room, but experiencing it firsthand kills the mood pretty quickly. It wasn't the first of his prophetic dreams. Certainly, the most dreadful, however. And that's what makes this particular "adventure" of Finn's so fascinating.

Right now, you are probably wondering how I know so much about this sixteen-year-old boy and his innermost thoughts, or why I took interest in the first place. No, I'm not an old pervert, but I am guilty of taking pleasure out of seeing abnormal events play out. In a sense, I'm watching from the safety of my own living room. Metaphorically speaking.

And that sums me right up. If you don't fancy that explanation, then your curiosity is getting the best of you. Try to curb it every now and then. You don't want the sh*t to hit you before the fan, do you? Then I'd have to watch your life happening too, which would suck, because fleshing out the juicy scenes from the boring ones is a bitch when the movie is seventy-five years long. I'm fifty-four now, so I'm already in my final act, if you catch my drift.

Anyway, back to Finn. So, he's sprinting relentlessly, obviously hyperventilating from fear and exhaustion. I'm surprised he even made it as far as he did, honestly. If it hadn't been for the adrenaline coursing through his veins, I'm certain his legs would have given out after about two miles. But, no, the boy was determined to survive (which is a great hero quality, might I add). Instead, after about 5 miles of running through the dew covered grass, totally isolated and terrified, one of the things chasing after him wrapped it's long, scaly tail around his scrawny leg – snatched him right up!

Well, to my disappointment, no hysterical screaming ensued. Turns out Finn tripped from the grip of the creature's tail and landed face flat. Knocked him out cold, and caused a concussion. Though, the realism did always make Finn's dreams more intriguing than most. He would become unconscious during one segment of a dream and wake up in another. Cool stuff.

Finn regained consciousness a few hours later, cocooned to an icy, steel wall. His face was bathed in slime and he was clearly disoriented. He withered around a lot for a few minutes in attempted escape, but once the flaps on one of the countless eggs lining the floor began to extend, with the grace of a swan and the repulsiveness of a yeast infection, Finn froze in complete, paralyzing fear. Some sort of demon spawn, which had been incubating inside the egg, wriggled out eerily and Finn's efforts quadrupled. The poor boy shook like a damn epileptic. No use, though. The giant, pale scorpion pounced and shoved its alienhood down Finn's innocent, young throat (okay, maybe I am an old pervert). Let me tell you, that thing wrapped its tail around Finn's neck quicker than the son of a bitch who tripped him and brought him there in the first place. He couldn't catch a break. But, what great cinema! Luckily, Finn woke up from his dream the moment he was orally violated.

Alright, now you're probably very, very confused. Sorry, I just get lost in the excitement of replaying my favorite scenes. It's such a tense, nerve-wracking beginning to a long, twisted story, and I'm already leaving out details. It was selfish of me to ruin the prologue for you, but I promise that won't happen moving forward.

First thing's first, what were those creatures chasing Finn in his dream? They are called xenomorphs, also referred to as "bugs", "serpents", or simply "aliens" (although, this nickname makes me cringe a bit when I hear it, since there are countless other alien species out there. My own species, human, may be considered alien by many of you). The origin planet of the Xenomorph species is LV426: Acheron. It's a rock planet with a surface composition of yadda, yadda and blah, blah, blah. Geology is not my strong suit. Concisely put, it's a sh*thole where good weather is nonexistent and the color of everything is various shades of black. Fun for the whole family! The reason I say that is because, at one point, the planet was actually inhabited by over 70 families. Guess how well that went? If you said not well at all, you're f*cking spot on. They say if you go there late at night (which is any time of day, really), you can still hear the sounds of children screaming in terror while their vital organs are ripped from their torsos.

I've attached an image of a xenomorph to this transmission to avoid the tiring effort of trying to describe one of these beastly murder enthusiasts. Their appearance is too disturbing for words, but provides a better understanding for why Finn was so petrified. I apologize if you are already familiar with these life forms, but this transmission is going out to billions of receivers in millions of different, distant locations, and the universe doesn't revolve around you, you selfish twit. (To everyone else, wherever and whenever you are, you may wish to make a visit to the lavatory before viewing the attachments below. You might soil yourself.)

As for those little spiny, slimy, ghoulish, grimy, gory scorpion things crawling out of the eggs, well… I don't want to elaborate too much on their purpose just yet. It would absolutely spoil the entire story. Most call them "facehuggers" (doesn't leave much to the imagination, does it?). Picture also attached.

I think I'll end it here. I only decided to send this transmission out because I'm bored and running out of events that pique my interest. If you like my story (or retelling, more precisely) so far and want to know what happens to Finn, then I'll write up more and send it out soon enough. Don't bother trying to contact me, though. It's literally impossible (yes, I know what "literally" means). If you are all dying to read more, I'll know. It's about time I've shared the fruits of my labor with others.

P.S. If you're reading this, Eileen Kendrick from Earth (the dimension CM-645 Earth), f*ck you! (My apologies to the all the other Eileen Kendricks receiving this transmission.)

This transmission contains two attachments. Click to view.

Xenomorph:

./_cb20120526162045/classified/images/7/77/xeno_

Facehugger:

./_cb20120526162045/classified/images/7/76/facehgr_

End transmission