Hey everybody! :D This is going to be three or four chapters and it's going to coincide with some other one-shots.

It's pretty much how all of my couples get to together so for like stories for the next generation or whatever.

So I hope you guys enjoy it and review at the end. :D

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Harry Potter or any other characters in the harry potter books/movies. If that has not registered in your brain yet you are a complete and utter bloody fool. :D

I slip out the door of the great hall and slip down the hallways, silent, like a ghost. Voldermort lost, but then I never thought he would win. I joined because my parents said to, because they where confidant we would be great. By the time I figured out what serving him really meant, it was to late. It meant killing muggle children not even in school yet, it meant killing babies who had never done anything. Killing fathers trying to save their wives, their children, killing mothers that would rather die than let their children die. Burning cities of families, burning and killing anything in our way. By the time I had figured out that I wanted nothing to do with it, with him, with my family; it was to late; I was in to deep.

I head up, up the stairs, up toward the tower, the tower where Dumbledore was killed. I hear footsteps somewhere behind me, but I don't think anything of it. I keep climbing, climbing, and then I feel it. A breath of wind, the feel of the cold prickling against my skin. I step out onto the deck of the tower and slowly walk towards the edge. I reach the edge and peer over, down at the ground. We have lost. I have the mark on my arm, and I was forced to fight. While it is true I never killed any of the wizards that where fighting for light, I have killed muggles, I have used unforgivables. I'll be sent to Azkaban of that I have no doubt. So why not jump? Wouldn't it be easier to end my life quickly instead of waste away in Azkaban until I'm insane. I swing one leg over and start to swing the other one when I'm pulled back roughly, landing on something soft. My eyes are clenched shut, I'm scared. What if it's someone who wants to hurt me? Someone who knows what I've done and wants me to be put in Azkaban.

"What the hell is wrong with you Parkinson? Just because you bloody lost the war isn't a reason to go and off yourself!" my eyes snap open in shock and I meet the eyes of Ron Weasley. Ron Weasley, 1/3 of the golden trio! Oh sweet Merlin! I am doomed, he hates me! Of course that's my fault for teasing and tormenting him so much in school, but still.

"Weasley! I thought you would want me to off myself. I'm sure you would be happy for death-eater scum like me to die." my voice is bitter, and I vaguely register that I'm still laying on top of him, and that his arms are wrapped around my waist holding me where I am. Before I full register what's happening I find myself laying on my back with him hovering over me.

"Dammit Pansy, I don't hate you. And you are anything but scum. I know you didn't want to be a death-eater, and honestly, I wouldn't have been able to hate you even if you had wanted it." I stare at him in shock. What is he talking about?

"What are you talking about Weasley?"

"Cut the crap Pansy. My name's Ron. Didn't you ever notice that whenever I said anything to you it lacked any hate? Everyone else did, even Malfoy notice. I watched you in every class, I sat behind you just so I could stare at you. I stayed awake in Binns class and watched you sleep. You looked so peaceful when you slept. I watched you get thinner and thinner, and the circles under your eyes get more pronounced as the war crept closer and closer. I watched you stop teasing others, you stopped calling people 'mudbloods'. You lost your hate for everything. I found you one day in Myrtle's bathroom crying, but I couldn't say nothing because I was pretty sure you would rather bite my head off than admit that you didn't hate me like you should."

I gape at him, my mouth flopping open rather unattractively. What in Merlin's name is he talking about? Watching me? How long has he been watching me? Then he's talking again, almost as if he needs to get it out before he loses the nerve.

"I started watching you in fourth year at the ball. You where beautiful. Your hair was up in some kind of complicated design, but a few pieces had escaped and where framing your face. Your eyes where shining, for once you where having fun without trying. The dress you where wearing, it was deep emerald green, and it brought you eyes out. Your beautiful blue eyes. I often think that your eyes remind me of the ocean, not the sky. The ocean when it's so blue you can see always to the bottom. You where dancing, and laughing. For once not hiding behind that mask. And all I wanted that night was to sweep you away and keep you all for myself. But I couldn't because you would have never let me, and I was to ashamed of my own robes. So I said nothing and stayed in the background and watched you. I was fully prepared for those feelings to be gone in the morning when I saw you again. When I saw you in your regular robes, and out of that dress. I thought it was probably just lust. So I went downstairs and sought you out to prove to myself that those strange feelings where gone. I saw you and they where still there strong as ever. Your eyes where still that startling shade of blue, and your hair wasn't just framing you face, it was flowing all around you. I wanted to bury my hands in it and hold you. It scared me. I was only fourteen then, I wasn't supposed to be having those kind of feelings. I tried ignore you but that didn't work, because you would tag along after Malfoy and throw insults at us. I was struck speechless that you could stand there and call my family poor, my best friend a mudblood, and I could still find you pretty, still want to snog you senseless. So then I tried to put you in a bad light, I thought up every bad thing I could about you, thought of everything everyone else said about you, and when I was by myself I could convince myself you where horrible. That those feelings where just a fluke. But then I would see you and you would say something and instantly every bad thought just fled from my mind. I couldn't remember why I wanted to hate you, couldn't remember why I thought you where so bad. It was infuriating, it was addicting. I started to wonder if you where some kind of succubus or something. I was addicted to that feeling I got when you where around. You where like a disease, slowly polluting me. Slowly all of my senses got addicted to you. My sight was first when I realized that you weren't ugly like everyone wanted to believe. You where beautiful, like a dark angel. My eyes couldn't get enough of you. Next went hearing, your laugh was infectious. I couldn't get enough of that beautiful sound. I lived for that sound, even when you talked it was like music. But your laugh was like poison, poison that I wanted more of. And then went my sense of smell. You sat in front of me one day in potions. I messed up so bad that day in potions because all I could concentrate on was that blissful scent I could smell coming from your hair, from you. It was like spring, like roses and honey. Like candy, like the sweetest thing I've ever smelled. It was intoxicating. I blew my potion up and barely even realized it until you turned around to sneer at me. And then went my sense of touch. That day when I caught you after you fell over the side of the quiditch stands. That was my undoing. You where so close to me, assaulting my senses. And this time I could feel you. I could feel you're little frame pressed up against me. I could feel the satiny feel of your skin. And then when you stormed away about how you had to go have a bath, and my heart felt like it had been trampled on I realized how just how addicted I had become to you. I tried to distance myself from you. I sat as far away from you as possible, avoided confrontation, never even looked at you if it wasn't necessary. But I couldn't turn off my hearing, every time I heard your laugh it was like a nail to my heart, every time I saw you, it was like seeing you for the first time again. That was fourth year and half of fifth year when I was becoming addicted. I spent the last half of fifth year trying to distance myself, and ignore you. That summer I found it was torture to be so far away from you. Even at school when I was ignoring you I still got to you hear you occasionally, I still got to see you when you confronted me and Hermione and Harry. But know I never saw you, though you haunted my dreams. I never heard your laugh, your voice though sometimes I wondered if I was going mad, I could have sworn I had heard you every once and a while. It was torture and everyone could tell there was something bother me, but no could find out what. Though I think the twins had a pretty good idea."

I stared at him with wide eyes as he seemed to be take a break to catch his breath. How had I never noticed? We had long since changed positions. He was sitting next to the wall his head thrown back and his eyes unfocused. As if he was afraid to look at me. I was sitting across from his my knees drawn up to my chest as I watched him. His face showed so much emotion, it was amazing. And to think this is how he saw me. I couldn't believe it. Everyone always said I was ugly, that I had a pug face. I had tried to not let it bother me, but to think he saw me as some kind of dark angel was more than my mind could comprehend. He takes a deep breathe and then he starts up again.

"Then school started again and it was like a punch to my stomach to see you again. You had grown even more beautiful. For the first week it was so amazing to see you again, to be able to hear your laugh that I indulged in my addiction. I sat as close to you as possible without arousing suspicion. I watched you every moment I could. And I listened to every sound you made. And then I realized what I was I doing, that I was doing exactly what I promised myself I wouldn't do. So I started distancing myself again, and ignoring you. And then Lavender came along. I could tell she liked me, so I decided to go out with her, just to prove to myself that I could like another girl, that I could look at another girl and feel that desire to hug her, like I did with you. For the first week it was fine. I felt no particular enthusiasm, but ignored as just be getting to used to each other. Then she started with that horrid snogging business of hers. I swear all she ever wanted to do was snog. It almost made me physically ill to sit there and snog her like I enjoyed it. Every time I touched her all I could think of was what your skin had felt like under my hands. Her perfume, her shampoo annoyed the heck out of me. It was citrus smell that burned my noise. Nothing like yours, yours was sweet, and made me want to kiss you. Every time she laughed I couldn't help compare her to you. It went on like that for three months. And then I had that incident with the poisoned fire whiskey. Apparently when I was in the infirmary and her, Harry, and Hermione where in there with me, I said your name. Though I didn't find that out till much later. Lavender broke it off with me immediately upon my waking. I finally got the reason out of Harry and Hermione two months later. They told me I had said your name in my sleep. And I admitted everything to them, Ginny too. Though Ginny didn't react how I thought she would. You know how she's famous for her quick temper. I thought for sure she would have blown up at me for being addicted to a Slytherin. But she hadn't said anything. Just given me this small secretive smile and left the room. I just found out what that was about after the war. Apparently she's been seeing Malfoy for a couple years know secretively. Anyways,the rest of sixth year was spent watching you. Watching as you got smaller and smaller from not eating enough. Watching as you circles under you eyes got darker and darker with each passing day. As your laughter got more and more rare, until finally you just stopped laughing. Actually know that I think about it you and Malfoy both where like that. Then Dumbledore died and I had to go off with Harry and Hermione and help hunt for horcruxes. You where the one thing that kept me going after that. The thought that somewhere you where probably being forced by your parents to serve the Voldermort, that you where probably being tortured by him when you did something wrong. That's what kept me going, the fact that I wanted you to be able to live without fear of judgment. I wanted you to be able to live, to be able to laugh freely, to be able to be free. Then Voldermort was killed and you got pushed to the back of my thoughts when I found out Fred died."

here his voice chokes up. I tentatively put my hand on top of his. He grabs it and holds on like it's a lifeline. He still doesn't let go even after he starts talking again.

"Then I saw you go past me, and slip out the door. I followed you because I was worried that you would do something stupid. I was worried that you would get hurt by some stray death-eater that was out for revenge or something. When I got to the top of the steps and saw you swinging you legs over the edge I think my heart stopped for a moment. It was one of the single most terrifying things I've ever seen. I think you know what happened after that. But I just have one more thing to say." here his eyes open and he stares straight at me, his eyes burning holes in my very soul it seems. "No matter what happened after this, I will not let you go to Azkaban. I will make sure you get to keep your wand and your magic. I'll keep you safe. Because I came to another conclusion right before the actual war started. When I was faced with the prospect of never seeing you again, and then again when I saw you after the war. I love you. You've got me so thoroughly addicted to you, that I will never be able to kiss another woman. I am yours."

and with that he throws his head back against the wall again and closes his eyes, seemingly to wait for my reaction. For a while I don't say anything, just sit there ans stare at him, thinking. He loves me. No one has ever told me that before, not even my parents. I focus on our hands still clasped together. His skin is rough from being out in the wild so long, but it's a pleasant feeling against my skin. I lean in slightly and inhale, it's a pleasant smell. He smells like pine trees and the ocean. It's slightly heady. I lean back and again and study him. His face is tired from all the fighting, but he looks peaceful laying there with his eyes closed like that. His mouth is curved in a small smile. I let my eyes sweep over him. He's gotten more defined from all the time out in the wild. I look down at our hands again and wonder what would happen if I put my mouth against the skin. But just as I start to raise our joined hands, his hand goes kinda limp. I start to panic, when I soft snore cuts through the silence of the tower. I stare at him in shock before a small giggle slips through my lips. He fell asleep, he must be tired from all the fighting. I am anyway. I inch my way next to him and cuddle up next to him. I lay my head on his shoulder and start to drift off when one of his arms wraps around me. I freeze thinking he's woken up, when another snore comes from him. And with the warmth from him seeping into me, I fall asleep, feeling safe for the first time in a long time.

well there was the first chapter I hope you enjoyed it, I'll post the next chapter pretty soon (hopefully). :D

review pleasssee! :D they make my day.