1: Seeking Harmony

If he really loved the world, how could he be so blind to its beauty?

The one thing was certain for Saber from the very beginning – his Master is a proud man.

It's a good and bad thing at the same time. Good because proud people respect rules and contracts. Bad because they are extremely hard to deal with.

Excessive pride leads to arrogance, which is the main cause of failure. Too many talented, even powerful people, have fallen because of their overconfidence. Knowing this, Siegfried really didn't want to be a part of such pathetic play. After all, the conflict of two proud women led to his own death…

He sighed, observing the surroundings from the roof of the Fortress of Millennia. It was a fitting center of operations for their leader, Vlad III. Even the land itself supported its most famous hero. Feeling that they share many similarities, Siegfried could only respect such noble Lancer.

Saber, too, felt comfortable in this old castle. It was almost like nothing has changed through the ages: landscapes, buildings, people. A nice, calm breeze caressed his hair – another sensation he didn't suspect to miss so much. It would be a perfect morning if not one particular thing that bothered Siegfried.

Homunculi.

They were everywhere in the fortress. Always the same clothes, faces, even patterns of speech. Countless red-eyed men and women were constantly cleaning, patrolling, guarding the gates and, what seemed to be their main task, supplying the Servants of Black with magical energy. It looked like a slavery to Siegfried but who was he to judge the ways of magi?

What's more, wasn't he the same? First a living tool to grant wishes of those who asked him for it, now a magically reincarnated tool to grant a wish of his Master.

Master, huh?

It's been said that his Master was somehow involved in the creation of homunculi and Saber did not know what to think about it. He felt… uneasy. What he actually knew about this man?

Gordes Musik Yggdmillennia, the alchemist, was very proud of his family name. He seemed to enjoy his status and tried hard to pretend he's not a hopeless choleric. Masters of Berserker and Archer called him 'uncle' and he had nothing against it. The boy – Caules was his name? – even advised Gordes to calm down by counting to ten, and it was far less hilarious than it seems.

Not much information, to be honest, but it's been only a few hours from the summoning. With all Masters gathered in the main room at some kind of a secret council, they had no occasion to speak privately yet.

But it was still enough time for this… eccentric… man to show some unspeakable rudeness in front of his allies. Giving your name to an opponent before a duel was once common practice even among enemies. Hiding his identity from allies seemed controversial for any knight.

Saber wondered what was the problem. His Master didn't trust his own family or Saber's ability to defend himself? He was so desperate to win? Or had no idea that famous Heroic Spirits gathered in the fortress would never tarnish their reputation by stabbing their opponent in the back?

Maybe I should just ask him? He shook his head, feeling that it's not a good idea. No, it may look like defiance or arrogance, I should remain silent. Or maybe…

Siegfried didn't mind being treated like a tool, he was also the last one to judge anyone or make assumptions. His Master must have his reasons, that was enough for a Servant to know. Saber's own life choices were mostly poor and used to end with tragedies, he knew he's far from being perfect. Actually he doubted he will make a worthy Servant in this Grail War.

Of course, he could pretend that nothing else matters as long as his wish is granted. But he will do his best anyway and it would be nice if his Master shows at least a bit of concern.

Well, he didn't use a Command Seal in this sudden outburst of anger, so there's still hope, I guess...

"Here you are, Saber." Someone interrupted a chain of Siegfried's raging thoughts and the Dragon Knight was grateful for this intervention. It was Chiron, their Archer and most likely future acting commander. "We've been searching for you for a while."

"Forgive me, I was lost in thought." The Knight of the Sword shook his head, a little ashamed. Again. "First hiding my true name, now being late for the meeting... It doesn't look like a good start."

"We actually don't mind, if you want to know." Even if Chiron said it only to make Siegfried feel better, it helped a lot. "A Master's order is a Master's order, no one is to blame here."

Saber thanked him with a slight bow of his head and was about to leave, but noticed that Archer didn't follow him. Chiron was observing the sunrise instead.

"Beautiful. It seems almost within your reach, isn't it?"

Siegfried glanced at the golden orb, that was slowly rising from the horizon. The colors of the sky were truly fascinating: they looked like they were trying to fight each other but ended up mixed, and then absorbed by the power of the sun.

"I rarely had time to enjoy views," he said eventually, struck by his own emotional emptiness. How many daybreaks he missed, living – no, rather existing – from mission to mission?

If he really loved the world, how could he be so blind to its beauty?

"In my culture people believed that keeping balance is the most important thing in life," Chiron said, pretending to not notice Siegfried's problem. "Body and mind, work and play, violence and beauty… one must always seek harmony." He reached out his hand, like trying to grasp the rising sun. For some unknown reason, Saber's heart ached. "At war harmony between partners seems even more important, don't you think?"

Saber nodded, waiting for the moral. Chiron was known as 'teacher of heroes' for a reason, he wouldn't bother anyone with a meaningless chatter.

"But seeking harmony is a very hard work. It requires communication and honesty, no matter if you discuss things with your partner or with yourself. When misunderstanding grows, you must cut your ego to make things work again."

Siegfried nodded once more. When someone as experienced as Chiron gives you advice, you must be an idiot to ignore it.

And he told nothing but truth. Gordes must have irritated them all, no doubt they felt concerned and wanted to be sure that Saber can be trusted. As long as the Black Faction officially cooperates, every little conflict affects the whole team. It must be solved before the damage becomes irreversible, Siegfried totally agreed with Chiron on this matter.

But whose ego must be cut in their case was… debatable.

Gordes Musik Yggdmillennia didn't like people who make him feel small.

He didn't like the Einzberns and their overconfidence (like no one else could create artificial humans, what a nonsense!). He didn't even like Darnic, for acting so high-and-mighty, and his Servant for thinking that he actually rules here. Lancer wasn't a king anymore, but a Servant, a mere familiar, damn it!

What's even worse, although Gordes would never admit it, he had no idea what to do. All he knew about war came from legends and books. He was aware of the fact that people die in Grail Wars, but did not take such possibility seriously.

Yet he felt anxious and conflicted.

One half of him wanted to play fair, fight openly in honorable duels, Servant on Servant and Master on Master. Winning like this would be the ultimate proof of domination, right? No one will doubt his talent and power ever again.

The other half was determined to win at all costs, preferably without entering the battlefield even once, and come home to his family as soon as possible.

Trying to act like a noble magus he claimed to be, Gordes needed a plan to sort out this problem. With so many unknowns only one thing was certain in the Holy Grail War – to win he needed the strongest Servant.

The choice was obvious, because one legend in particular fascinated him since childhood and a relic was within his reach. He was talented, strong and determined, nothing could go wrong, right?

Right?

Then why he's so nervous? Why he always needs proofs and demands others to acknowledge him?

Gordes sighed. The time for hesitation was long gone, the war has already started, and the burning pain of Command Seals carved on his right hand brought the alchemist back to reality.

This red sigil was like a proof of his success, a sign of power.

And there, on the other end of the magical leash, was his Servant: the strongest class, the invincible hero, the confirmation of magical potential of his Master. As great and tall as his own legend, but somehow aloof, Saber seemed more like a dragon than a killer of dragons...

It made Gordes feel small again, and he hated it.

Well, no one said it will be easy. Siegfried was a hero who just went out one day and killed a dragon like it was nothing. A bravery dangerously similar to stupidity. Or rather pure madness. Who knows what he's capable of…

He must be still angry, thinking of an act of treason that led to his death, the magus thought, analyzing the behavior of the knight at his service. He suspected that Siegfried would rather materialize in a Berserker class. Pride and lust for vengeance were painted on this familiar's face. As a Master, Gordes must crush such unnecessary emotions or he will end up dominated by this… powerful being.

Honestly, he would never expect that having a Servant is so troublesome. Deep inside he knew that his real problems are yet about to start.

Someone bumped into Siegfried on the corridor when he was about to enter the meeting room.

"Ouch!" Astolfo stepped back, rubbing his nose. Considering the speed of the little paladin and the hardness of Siegfried's armor, it must have been a very unpleasant experience. "Who placed a stone golem in the corridor? Ah, it's you!"

Rider looked up and almost jumped back, like a frightened squirrel.

"Hey, that's scary, sca-ry!" – he shouted in his usual manner. For Siegfried he was like a playful kitten. Something inside the Dragon Knight always smiled when they crossed paths. "Why are you doing this?"

Saber blinked, not sure what's going on.

"I'm sorry… but for doing what exactly?"

"For looking at me like you're planning a murder!"

That was unexpected. Saber regretted that there's no mirror nearby.

I really look so awful?

"I have no intention to harm you, Rider," he replied simply, not sure how to react.

"But how do I know this if you don't say a thing, huh?" Astolfo came closer and poked Siegfried's chest. "No one will ever know what you think if you don't say it! And that's kind of rude to ignore us like we're not even worth to be spoken to..."

Saber felt shaken by Rider's observations. He always thought that it's polite to not bother others with too many words, so when he spoke, it was as concise as possible. He would never expect that someone may think of it as of haughtiness or arrogance.

Well, Servants gathered here came from different cultures, places and times, their opinion on what's rude or not may differ. Maybe it's the same with Masters? Maybe he should adjust his behavior to avoid problems? If it's even possible for someone as quiet and reserved as him…

How many of his failures, which he interpreted as ill luck or fate, were caused by such behavior?

Astolfo must have continued his speech in the meantime, because he poked Siegfried again, demanding attention.

"That's why it would be better for all of us if you relax a little!"

"I'm… not sure if I can, honestly."

"Don't worry, I'll teach you!" Astolfo gave him a wide, innocent smile and something told Siegfried that he's just got into serious troubles.

A mysterious smile on Chiron's face confirmed Saber's suspicions, that the centaur knew much more that anyone could imagine. Maybe he planned this all along?

"Come, you two." The way Archer said it made Siegfried feel like a little kid reprimanded by a teacher. "We're already late and have many things to discuss."

Siegfried liked working with competent people, so he considered the meeting fruitful.

Lancer turned out to be a wise leader, able to easily recognize strengths of his subordinates. He did not behave like a tyrant they say he was in life, rather like someone who believes that an experienced assistant is far more useful than even the most obedient tool.

Archer, although asked to take the lead, was rather a type who counsels from the shadows. With his sharp mind and unique skills he will be responsible for communication on the battlefield and real-time tactics adjusted to circumstances.

Saber had no objections and was really glad that these two are not his enemies.

His own task during battles will be to fight on the frontlines, especially to keep enemy Servants away from Lancer. If Vlad decides to fight personally, Siegfried will replace him as a commander, moving from one flank to another to keep the situation under control.

Now he summarized their plans to his Master. Gordes, spread comfortably on a sofa, was enjoying a drink. Saber had a feeling that alcohol helps this man stay calm.

When the reporting finished, Gordes only nodded, having nothing to add except short 'Hmm'. It seemed promising, but then a strange question followed.

"Tell me, Saber, what is your wish?"

Taken by surprise, Siegfried could only stare blankly at the alchemist, like a complete idiot. Not that his Master had no right to know, but Saber was not yet ready to answer, sure that he won't be understood.

"My wish?"

"Summoning you was possible because you have a wish for the Grail, right?"

Well, theoretically. Saber needed a moment to carefully choose the right words. Expressing the feelings and desires he was barely aware of was not his strongest point.

"I do not have a wish for the Grail. It's rather something I want to accomplish myself."

He didn't understand what exactly enraged his Master, but could clearly see a pulsing vein on the man's forehead. The mage was probably soundlessly counting to ten right now.

"Why you're lying to me, Siegfried?"

Saber made a longer pause, surprised that such ridiculous accusation angered him. He didn't like where their conversation was going, but had no idea how to stop it. He was bad in dealing with people and that, too, haven't changed after his death.

"No need to be so nervous, Master." He tried to be as polite as possible. "I have no reason to lie to you."

Asking a choleric to the core to calm down is like telling a drunk man that he's drunk – it always ends with furious protest.

"Bullshit! You think I don't know your legend?! After such dishonorable death, you must have regrets and seek vengeance!"

Again, this strange assumption left Siegfried speechless.

"So this is how it looks to you, Master? I'm aware that I have nothing to prove it, only my word of honor, but please try to understand that I have no regrets. It was just an ordinary death, which I accepted, nothing more. It would be a waste if you couldn't trust me for such a trivial reason."

"Trust you?! A familiar, a mere tool, wants to be trusted?!"

"Trust me as a tool then, Master." Still no emotions in Saber's voice, only that irritating politeness. "Whether it's magic or sword, one needs time to learn how to unleash the full potential of his tools. We, Heroic Spirits, experienced things that inspired people through ages. That's why we have much more to offer than our swords and skills, my mind and experience is yours to use as well. If you know war, Master, you should already know how important cooperation is during battle…"

It wasn't good. The magus turned red and hit the table with all his might. The wine in the bottle rippled but hasn't been spilled… yet.

"And now you dare to instruct me?! As expected from a knight, damn you and your pride!"

Siegfried needed a lot of energy to refrain himself from sighing, it could only make things worse (was it even possible?).

"I'm not half as proud as you think, Master. And I'm responsible only for what I said, not what you understood."

"Quiet!" Now Gordes not only hit the table with his fist, but stood up suddenly, spilling the wine in the process. What a waste, it smelled good and must have been valuable...

They stood like this for long five minutes. Gordes was probably trying to calm himself down and Saber intended to show that he's willing to obey even stupid orders, like being quiet during a quarrel. Somehow the silence between them seemed more ominous than angry screams.

One more minute. Saber realized that trying to stand humbly in the corner of the room is difficult, if not impossible, for someone with as monumental posture as his own. No matter how hard he tries, he'll be always towering over this man.

"Master…"

"I told you to be quiet, Saber."

"But Mas…"

"Begone!" Gordes was working on it, but one cannot totally suppress his own character. "I don't want to see or hear you till the evening council!"

"Understood."

Well, at least some serious orders, Siegfried thought while leaving the room in his spirit form.

As he already admitted, Saber did not regret anything so far. Words have been said, so they've been also heard. Even if this stubborn man decides to ignore suggestions, he will at least consider them, voluntarily or not.

So… first chapters are difficult, at least for me.

To be honest, I could never hate Gordes, no matter how hard I tried. I was always like: "Hey, something's wrong here, a total jerk wouldn't summon such a wonderful Saber, right?" I really tried to understand this guy better and wanted to give him more credit than he got in the original story. Will it work? Well, you'll be the ones to decide.

I assume that readers interested in this kind of story already know 'Fate/Apocrypha', so I won't be rewriting every single scene if there are no changes in it. Telling the same story again and again irritates me, personally I think it's just a waste of time.

I plan to switch narrators and points of view later, I just didn't want to throw it all in your faces in the first chapter. I also want to give Vlad and some other characters more occasions to shine.

And, of course, all characters and features, belong to their rightful owners, I own only my bad writing.