Me: I've come back from the world of the dead, again. And this time i've got a whole new bag of tricks (maybe?)
Xao: no she doesn't. but i did write her a new fic. it's GW. our first ever. whooop.
Fuu: we own nothing. owning GW is merely a fond dream that will never happen. we merely wished to borrow charracters, nothing more. And Name is owned Goo Goo Dolls and respective company.
Me: Hope you like it!
Tune In
Come back down…
The rain drippled down the window of my apartment, distorting the city lights outside. It felt to me like I was trying to make sense of one of those abstract watercolor pieces showing at the museum. Lord almighty, it bored me out of my skull.
But I didn't want to be complained about again. The last time I had tried to futilely entertain myself after waking in the middle of the night, the guy living next to me, the couple living above me, and the single little old lady below me all complained that the television had been too loud. So what was I to do except sit down with a bowl of soup, and cup of hot chocolate (with marshmallows of course) on my lumpy couch to stare out the window for a few hours as my little beat up radio sputtered music at me?
I think if I wasn't such an insomniac, I might have fallen asleep from sheer boredom. The only decently tuned station played fluffy pop-rock-crap. I swear if I hear 'Can't read my, can't read my…' one more time, I will kill my radio. All because of Lady What's-Her-Face can't stop writing shit.
I lean back with a sigh. Tonight's nightmare had been…especially bad. I'm not even sure what triggered it, really. Maybe my subconscious just really loves torturing me? I don't know, but it had decided to show me Heero. Blowing up. Numerous times. Makes for good dreams, right?
If you couldn't tell, that was sarcasm.
See, thing is I've had a crush on Heero since the war. Weel, no I guess I can't call what I feel for him a crush, can I? No, crushes don't rip your heart out and leave broken, bloodied, and all around numb, do they? I've been told that I am a singularly extreme individual, but I don't think a simple crush would have been that traumatizing…
…I almost told him, yanno? Between you and me, after I saw him diving for that chunk of Libra I swore up and down that I would not keep on going never knowing when that man was going to kill himself just for the sheer pleasure of doing so. I was not going to regret not telling him my heart's desires! Not again.
And then he left. Bastard packed and lighted off to parts unknown.
Like he was never really there…
I snort at myself. Maybe I need to stop watching the rain…it's making me disgustingly waxing poetic. Yet, Shakespearian language aside, he really had left. No note. No goodbye. No warning. Just a shot fired, a brief "Mission Accomplished", and Heero Yuy had never been seen or heard from again. He didn't even contact Relena! And have I mentioned it's been nearly four years, now? I didn't? It has been nearly three years, now!
A soft acoustic guitar begins to play, a sound that has my immediate attention. It sounds like a rather simple melody being played over the airwaves. Something that stirs me from my nest on the couch to go and turn the volume up a bit. I stop though. I really don't want to be complained about again… My landlord said I'd be convicted if I pulled another 'too loud to sleep' incident.
Without another thought, I picked up my radio, a blanket and my umbrella. I race out the door and down the stairs as quickly and quietly as possible (which, being me, isn't really all that hard) I made it to the landing just in time for the first lyrics to start playing. I turned the radio up over the sound of the rain.
-ough the moment passed me by,
I still can't turn away
I felt the air in lungs go out in a whoosh, like I'd just been sucker punched. 'I still can't turn away…' No, I couldn't. When it got right down to it, I couldn't let go of him. He still affects me just as badly as he did during and right after the war. I still find myself wondering where he went…what he's doing…why he left…
If he'll ever come back.
'Cause all the dreams you never thought you'd lose,
Get tossed along the way.
And letters that you never meant to send,
Got lost or thrown away.
Lost dreams…lost chances… Yeah. I had more of those than I could shake a stick at. But I had more lost dreams concerning myself than him. Bet you didn't know I wanted to be an architect? Had the chance to go to college and study and everything. But, stupid little bastard that I am, I didn't go. I went and helped the reformed Lady Une become Commander of the Preventers, instead. 'Fei and I work full time, Tro' part-time and Quat's an on-call agent who's never been called in yet. Recently, Une's been making real leeway in establishment and she and Relena are making good on the promises of peace.
And now we're grown up orphans
Who never knew their names.
No, I don't think either of us really had names, did we? We had to name ourselves. Well, J kinda named Heero, but whatever. We still had to deserve those names. To this day, I don't think I'm good enough to use Father's name. I wonder if he'd agree?
We don't belong to no one
That's a shame…
Nobody was willing to claim us.
But you can hide beside me, maybe for a while
And I won't tell no one your name.
I wouldn't, Heero. If you didn't want to be found by anybody else, I'd respect your wishes. I wouldn't tell them where you were. But is it so wrong to come back?
I won't tell 'em your name.
The guitar and drums pick up again. I close my eyes and huddle deeper into my blanket, the radio close to my chest. I place the umbrella at my feet to keep the rain off. A quick glance at my watch lets me know that it's nearly two AM. Wonder if Une'd let me off. It's Friday tomorrow—well, no I guess it's Friday today. Our last case is nearly wrapped up…
I think 'Fei can handle the red tape without me.
In my arms, the little radio begins to sing again:
The scars are souvenirs you never lose;
The past is never far.
I shivered, the air becoming much colder. No the past was always there with us. Even Quatre and Trowa still have nightmares from the war, even though they technically have each other.
Did you lose yourself somewhere out there?
Did you get to be a star?
And don't it make you sad to know that life
Is more than who we are?
Life and Death. That's all there is, really. It's a depressing dance we weave, but it's all there has been, and all there ever will be. I've already accepted it, so I'm more pliable to the dance than most, I think. It still doesn't make me happy, though…
You grew up way too fast
And now there's nothing to believe.
Reruns all become our history.
An Endless Waltz… Conflict, war, death, reluctant peace, and another conflict. Maybe I'm just jaded and cynical beyond belief, but that's my understanding. That was the world I was born to. And my experience hasn't been misinterpreted yet. And I think neither of us were ever properly kids. I know I wasn't. We had to learn how to be adults' way even before we were ever thought to be used as weapons.
A tired song keeps playing on a tired radio.
And I won't tell no one your name.
…If you just came back…
I won't tell 'em your name.
The guitar picked up again, and I came back out of my head. The rain had lessened a bit and by sun up, I bet it would be gone.
(I won't tell 'em your name)
I noticed a shadow heading towards the complex. I couldn't make out any detailing yet, but the footsteps were indicating a forward direction. I wondered who'd be getting in so late—I mean, early?
(I won't tell 'em your name)
With a little whoop, the guitar and drums increased in tempo. My heart beat increased along with it. I'm not sure why, but it felt as if something really big was about to happen to me. My body felt like a coiled spring, and I had no idea why. Carefully, I stood up, putting the radio down in the corner of the overhang. The shadow stopped at the edge of the light emitted from the building.
But he was close enough for me to make out messy hair, broad shoulders, and a hint of blue where his eyes should be.
"He-Heero?"
He gave a slight hesitation before stepping into the light. It was Heero, back from God-only-knows-where. He gave me a small smile and a quiet, "Hello, Duo."
The guitar broke off, leaving a heart stopping silence in its wake. My blanket slipped off my shoulders to pool around my feet. I rounded the umbrella, and before either of us could next blink, I had my arms wrapped tightly around his neck and my lips upon his.
I think about you all the time
But I don't need the same.
Before I could move away and apologize, his arms were snug around my waist, and he was kissing me thoroughly. I tried pressing closer to him, wanting to make up for the stolen and wasted years.
…If it's lonely where you are, come back down…
He came back… He broke away, and murmured softly:
And I won't tell your name…
"Invite me in?"
Me: and that's enough for today. so if you haven't figured out, Tune In is a heavily music-based series. i meant for them to be drabble, but...
Xao: she's a horrible story wrestler.
Me: T~T have mercy?
Fuu: if you liked this, TELL US, if you didn't, then don't bother us. flames will be sent back into the fiery chasm from whence it came. and we will laugh joyously while killing your flame.
Me: on that note, we'll be seeing ya!