Rating: PG-13
Characters: Alice/Jasper with shades of Jasper/Angela
Summary: A character study of the relationship and trust between Alice and Jasper
Authors Note: Many, many thanks to jazmin22 for being an awesome beta and to jezebeljade for her help as well.
Ben breaks up with her on a Wednesday morning and by lunch the whole school knows.
The whispers follow her in the halls and Angela feels so overwhelmed by the press of fake concern that's it's a relief when Bella hugs her, tight and quiet. She doesn't ask or pry but Angela knows she would listen and that's enough. They sit close at lunch, thighs and arms pressed beside one another and Edwards sits across from them, silent and watchful.
For the first time Angela is grateful for his strange cadence, the people he drives away with simply a look.
--
She walks home from school, too proud or too embarrassed to ride back with Ben, even though he offered. She waits in the girls' bathroom, swallowing back tears until the parking lot falls quiet and the hallways are silent before heading home. It's cold, almost freezing. She doesn't want to cry, doesn't want to be upset, but she is. She doesn't think love but it's something close to that, nestled in her heart. Her jaw is shaking with the effort not to cry and her fingers have gone numb by the time she catches the gentle purr of the car beside her. She knows it's one of the Cullen's; black, sleek and expensive but she doesn't expect it to be Jasper.
"You look like you need a lift," he says. Angela stares at the bright flare of gold in his eyes, and feels a strange sense of mistrust and fear creeping in with the cold. "It's freezing," Jasper reasons when she doesn't answer immediately and Angela's hand is on the handle before she realizes she's moved.
"Thanks," she says and struggles for a moment to remove her backpack and fit into the car. He smiles at her, something strangely predatory and Angela doesn't understand the wash of calm that's threading through her.
"It's Angela, right?" He asks.
"Yes," she returns, a little surprised he knows her name. "I know who you are, too," she says with a funny little smile on her face. It's not so hard now to face him, she thinks, alone in the car. There's a strange, wane beauty to him that she's always associated with his family but in the dying light he looks more open, more receptive then she's ever seen. She doesn't realize she's staring until Jasper turns away from her. She blushes then, face red hot but he doesn't seem to notice.
"You'll get past this," he says so suddenly. "Ben I mean. You've got better things in your future," Jasper promises and Angela can tell he's just as surprised by his words as she is. They both turn away at the same time and Angela feels a little of the calm she had before slipping away. She doesn't dare look at him again, so she stares resolutely ahead.
--
She won't quite look at him, a strange bumbling shyness that brushes against his own mixed feelings but underneath it all there's still the same calmness he's always associated with her. It makes Jasper think of the first time he saw her years ago, gawky with youth and inexperience. She hadn't been pretty then but he saw how she could be now, with little bit of growing up. She had an odd draw to her, a strange stillness amidst the maelstrom of teenage emotions. It was a familiar and predictable element in the ever changing landscape of high school that he'd picked up early on.
He's liked her since then, a subtle appreciation for her constant serenity.
"This is me," she tells him, drawing him out from his thoughts, voice loud in the stillness of the car. "I'm the last one on the left." It's a small house, modest but Jasper could see the care that had gone into it. It fit her.
"Thanks again," she says with a small, half smile, soft and quiet like Jasper hadn't seen in a long time. It makes him think of Alice, her bright face and the clear ring of her laughter. Angela turns away when he stares too long and he can feel the heat of her embarrassment rise up sharply. She fumbles with the door handle in an adorably awkward way.
"Here," he offers, leans past her to open the door. His hand's around the handle when he catches her sent, sweet and pure. She's breathing irregularly, mouth open and blood is rushing rushing rushing under paper-thin skin.
He pulls away from her then, sharper then he intended and swallows the want that's crawling up his throat. It would be easy to take her here he thinks, isolated and alone in the car. He doesn't have Alice's gift but he knows exactly how it would play out. She'd lean forward; confident with the trust and calm he could give her and accept his lips on hers with a soft sigh.
She'd bow easily under his hands and the skin of her shoulders would be hot and tight against his mouth. She'd taste sweet and heavy, like honeyed wine he hasn't had since Maria and the hot Texan nights. Jasper knows Angela would cry out, sharp and warm, and he would remember the thrill of the hunt and the taste of girls like her, kept pure and cloistered by an empty faith. It would be quick, too quick for his taste but the feel of her human heart fading away and the warmth of her blood would be magnificent. He hovers near her uncertainly for a minute, desire stronger than he remembers.
"Jasper?" she says and there's that little quirk of her lips, a smile so like Alice's.
"See you at school tomorrow, Angela," he says. He forces himself to look at her, to see that little bit of Alice in her that reminds him of what he's worked so hard for.
--
When he pulls into the garage Alice is waiting for him, hands curled around her knees. Her face is empty but he can feel the swirl of emotions inside, chaotic and conflicting. He sees the wiggle of her nose, hears her intake of breath and stills. He doesn't voice his question but he doesn't move towards her either.
"I couldn't see all the way," she tells him and she's trembling and he can taste the fear and worry hidden in her words. "I didn't think you would," she says but Jasper can feel her doubt and her shame for it too.
"Come here," he beckons and she rises, compelled by his voice and her own guilt. He touches her heart, cold and still in her chest and remembers Angela, so alive and warm. He thinks about the taste of human blood and the rush of pleasure it would bring. Then he looks to Alice, the soft curve of her features and feels the swell of her trust and affection. He remembers the feel of her lips, their first kiss outside the diner and the relief that her presence had been, was and could be.
"I love you," he says simply. It's not an answer or a promise but he lays himself bare before her, lets her see all his wants and intentions, all the things he would hide away. The disgrace buried inside each desire.
"Oh, Jasper," she says and he kisses her then, swallows down her apology with his mouth and soothes away her guilt with his hands.
"I'm sorry I'm not stronger," he whispers against her, "I want to be so much for you."
"You are," she breathed against him. "Everyday I see the man you are becoming, the man you want to be."
"The future changes," he argues, pained.
"It does" she agrees, "but not us, not you. We're forever," she whispered, her lips cool against his forehead. "You'll never be rid of me Jasper Hale. I'm here to stay," she pledges with a breathy laugh.
"Promise?" He asks.
"Promise," she says with a smile.