A/N

Hey!

Be careful, this story contains things that could TRIGGER.
(Mentions of physical violence, self-harm, sexual abuse / incest, lesbianism)
Don't like? Don't read. If you do, don't mind leaving a review :)
It will be an history of 3 or 4 chapters, I'm not sure yet, but definitely Becommissar (Beca x Kommisar) but not in the first chapter (Most like the plot).

if you want, you can help me improve how I write. I normally speak French, so I'm not the best in English. I'll take every comments! ;)
That being said, enjoy!

Beca had never been the kind of girl that talked a lot. She was never babbling, neither telling how she felt. She was that kind of freaky girl that no one want to be around. So she spend the major part of her high school by herself. She was alone, but it had never bothered her. She had the music, to escape from the mean words of the others kids. They used to call her a "dike" as if she was somehow a lesbian; it wasn't because she wasn't dressing herself in pink that she was a dike! No, she was straight, she was telling herself.

Her mother wasn't interested by her. She had a new boyfriend every month or so, until she find HIM. Or should Beca said IT. He wasn't a human being, not at all. The few first week, he was sweet and kind, and the brunette was thinking that he could be her new father, since her real one was loving her too much, she thought that her mother had made the right choice, for once.

She was even opening up a little to him, just a couple of words, here or there, but it was a lot of a deal for her, since she wasn't doing that with anyone else. But, slowly, he turned into that monster. That one night, he came back at her mother's place, drunk. He was walking slowly, chewing her mother's name while he was talking.

"Martha… Come here. MARTHA! "

And the silence was the only answer he got. He started mumbling in his beard, while opening violently every door of the small house. He was coming toward Beca's room, and she started feeling the fear trough her whole body. How was he, when he was drunk?

She put her blanket over her head to hide herself from him. She knew that men were mean when they were drunk. When she heard her door opening in a big "BANG", she let a gasp out. He heard.

"Come out, I know you're here. I won't hurt you, I just want to talk."

So she got out of the sheets.

"You, piece of shit!" He told her while walking to her bed "You were trying to hide yourself form me, huh?"

And he hit her.

"Where is your fucking mother, I want to get laid. NOW. SPEAK!"

"She isn't home yet." Beca answered, almost impossible to hear.

"WHAT?"

He had understood. But he was so mad that hurting her was looking like a great idea. So, he hit her, again and again, until she was on the ground, begging him to stop. He never touched her face, he didn't wanted anyone to wonder.

"You'll shut up about this, like you always do. And don't you cry. If you tell this to anyone, I'll kill you."

And he went away. She sobbed while going back on her bed. She would, for sure, have some bruises.

It went like that for several weeks, he was using her as his punching bag, and she was going more and more inside herself, hardly speaking, even in class. She was fearing more than ever the touch of someone else. And she kept the count of the days left before the end of the year. When her last year of high school would be over, she'll left, to LA, to do the only thing that ever made her felt alive, the music.

She ran away one night, before he came home, with only a backpack, her DJ material, her computer and not that much money. She couldn't stay any longer, or she'll die. The bus to go to LA was out of her possibilities, and she had no friend, nowhere she could go. But then, an idea bloomed in her head.

She decided to go to her dad's. Maybe he had changed over the last 4 years. And if he didn't, she still can get a room on the campus of Barden University, where he was working. That sounded like an almost great plan.

She had to escape to him. Even if she didn't took the final exams, she knew that her good grades would cover up for that. She just couldn't go with him around anymore, she couldn't bare the fear every time the door was opening, or even his fists and foot hitting her, breaking her more every day.

The bus arrived, and she gave 36$ to the driver. She went to the back of the bus, and opened her laptop, mixing songs for the next four hours of bus.

When she walked out of the bus, it was 6, and the sun was starting to rise. A new life, she thought. Even if it wasn't the best new start, it was still one, and she would just have to work until she have enough money to head to LA. Until then, she had to go to her father's. She called a cab, and went straight there.

When she rang the bell of the house, a still half-asleep woman opened her.

"Who are you? And why so soon this morning?"

"Is my father there?"

"Your father?" Told her the woman, a shocked look on her face.

"Yeah, you know, the man that created me by fucking my mother?"

And he appeared behind the woman.

"Hey, darling, what are you doing here?" he asked her, with a big smile.

The word darling in his mouth brought bad memories, and she shook her head to wipe them away.

"Dad, hi. Can I stay here for a while?"

"Hum… Well, why did you left your mother home?"

"Can I, or not?"

"I guess… Did your mom knows?"

"She didn't even care about me, so…"

Her father let a loud gasp out.

"Come in, you can stay in the guest room."

"'Kay, thanks."

And she got herself in, walking toward her new room, in this house she used to know under the tips of her fingers.

"You never told me that you had a daughter!" She heard the woman whisper. "It's a great thing she's here, she looks… broken, hungry…We'll be able to take care of her."

Another caring soul. She had a hard time with this kind of people. They would be better if they didn't care about her, let her be. And that's how the name of step-monster came in. It wasn't because she was mean, no, it was the exact opposite.

Beca looked for a job in the first two months of summer, but she couldn't find anything. And that's how, one night, her step-monster came up with the idea of her, going to Barden, where she could major in music, to get more possibilities in the future. She didn't wanted to, but her father got her in, despite her protests. The summer was ending, her first year at Barden was going to start soon. She had healed from the wounds HE had made on her, and she was grateful. She still got scars here and there, and didn't bear the idea of someone touching her, but, still, it was a start.

Her father had stopped drinking, and it was a relief for Beca. But when her father's girlfriend went out for a business trip, a week before Beca start school, he went out at a bar, and got drunk. When he came home, he headed straight to Beca's room. He can't! He won't do that again, he is a new man! She told herself, panicked.

"Darling! Iloveyou! I- I have missed you!" he told her, before going on top of her in her bed. "Show me that you still love me too!"

"NO!" Beca screamed.

"Then, I'll be the one who'll shows you. Just like when you were young. I've always loved you more than your mom."

"No! No! Don't do that!" she repeated like a mantra, while bursting in tears.

But he did it, unaware of her protests, he hurt her, broke her even more if it was even possible.

"Hope you won't get pregnant." Was the thing he told her before he went to his room.

Sobbing, hurting, she took her stuff, and went to a motel room, that she rented until the beginning of the year, with her pocket money. She wouldn't be alone in her dorm, and nobody could hurt her there.

And she curled herself on the insalubrious bed, crying herself to sleep.

When she met Chloe for the first time, she felt like she could open up to her. Not now, but maybe a day. She had that look, the one that when you see, you know you can trust this person.

Her father came a few times, to apologises, saying that he didn't knew what he was doing that day, that he wasn't himself. But how can she possibly forgive him?

The redhead busted in her shower, not long after, and Beca had to hide herself, so she won't see the scars, the one she was giving herself, nor the ones he made on her body.

She do noticed, but didn't ask. And Beca was grateful.

After a year in company of the girls, that she knew they wouldn't hurt her, she started opening up.

"I've never been the kind of girl that hang out with girls. I mean… I never had friends."

"We'll always be by your side." Said fat Amy

"Yeah, you can trust us." Replied Chloe.

And there was this fire that light up inside the Brunette chest.

Beca had really thought that Jesse was the right guy; but after a few weeks or so, he could not stand not being able to touch her, he didn't understand why, and she did not wanted to tell him anything. They decided to stay good friends, but nothing more. And the Bellas took care of her during her heartbreak. If having friends was that, Beca wanted to keep these girls with her forever.

She became closer to Chloe in the next two years, starting to tell her small details, to see if she was scared of her. The redhead never backed off, was always listening to her.

That night, they were partying for their third national award. And Beca drank, again and again. She had loosen up in the last three years. The girls were able to touch her a bit without her going all crazy over it. It still had some limits to not go through, but it was still better than it was. So that night, she took Chloe on her room and show her all her scars, the ones she made to herself, and she explained to the redhead that the other ones were from her step-father, when he was beating her, hitting her until she was bleeding.

Chloe's eyes were filled with tears. She did knew that her best friend was hurting herself, because of the scars she had seen sometimes, or the blood that stained her clothes or her sheets times to times, but she never wasn't expecting an horror story like that.

The only thing the girl with blue eyes could think of doing, and it was wrong, was kissing every scars on her body, one by one. But she just took Beca in her harms instead, and petted her hair, while she was crying.

The brunette was grateful that the older girl didn't run away. She clung to her as if her life depended on it. They slept in the arms of one another, Beca curled up in her arms, as a baby.