The stars aren't out, it's a gloomy night.
Ya know, something isn't right.
It's dark, it's cold, just pick up the phone.
Ringing, ringing, fucking dial tone.
Well thanks then pal, I'm stuck,
In a shady forest, just fuck.
Wait, nevermind, there's now a man.
I guess I'm not lone near this rundown van.
He's wearing a tux so I know he's got class,
He hasn't said anything though, what an ass!
Looks like he's has a ski-mask on, that's not cool.
I wanna see if he's worthy of drool.
He's coming closer, I can hardly wait!
Why do I suddenly feel like bait?
He hasn't said anything, I call out to him.
He steps, he falters, then he keeps on walkin'.
By now I've noticed he's really tall.
His arms and legs too but that's not all.
A feeling of dread has settles over me.
Kinda as if I got cast out to sea.
Adrenaline kicks in, I start to run.
Panic sets in, the games have just begun.
It's a game of cat and mouse
Without a safehouse.
I turn the corner and there he is.
Barely four feet away...This is it.
I'm fucked, I'm screwed, I'M GONNA DIE!
Then he gives me a shit-eating grin and from out of nowhere comes a tentacle bearing pie.