Prologue:
A Brief History of the Events that Occurred During the Boy Who Lived's Time at Hogwarts
In the time between his eleventh birthday and his twelfth Harry Potter thought that he was an ordinary boy - until he was rescued by a beetle-eyed giant of a man, enrolled at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, learnt to play Quidditch and did battle in a deadly duel. Events that are out of the ordinary, even for wizards. Luckily, Harry defeated the infinitely more powerful Dark Lord, won the House Cup for Gryffindor and acquired a photo album of his dead parents as a quest reward.
His second year at Hogwarts was rather less eventful. This is because of the actions of a certain Ginny Weasley - a girl who, instead of writing in the blank book she found hidden in the pages of her second-hand copy of A Beginners' Guide to Transfiguration (by Emeric Switch), simply tossed it aside and continued to read up on how to turn a matchstick into a needle.
Harry did get rescued from his prison cell, sorry, bedroom by flying car, did visit the Burrow and did join his best friend Ron in flying aforesaid car to school and then crashing it into the Whomping Willow - but that was as far as it went. The year ended with Gryffindor winning the House Cup - despite the fact that they had, in a rather spectacular fashion, lost their final match of Quidditch 340-20 to Ravenclaw - as Harry Potter earned extra house-points for ousting Professor Lockhart as a fraud.
One Ravenclaw girl became convinced that this was all a ploy to get Gryffindor to win the House Cup for every year that Harry attended and thusly boost his reputation. She may have been right.
When Harry turned thirteen it became time for him, along with his best friends Ron and Hermione, to go back for their third year at Hogwarts and the atmosphere was extremely tense. There was an escaped mass-murderer on the loose (although it turned out the escapee wasn't a mass-murderer and the mass-murderer didn't escape until the end of the year), and the sinister prison guards of Azkaban had been called in to guard the school - although, in retrospect, that didn't really work out that well considering that Sirius Black managed to infiltrate the school grounds anyway and the Dementors decided to go after the soul of Harry rather than the supposed 'wanted criminal' that they had orders to attack.
Nevertheless Gryffindor won the House Cup and even managed to get hold of the Quidditch Cup to boot - further cementing Morag MacDougal's theory on Dumbledore's bias towards Gryffindor.
In fourth year, Harry was illegally entered into a highly dangerous interschool contest by a minion of his ultimate nemesis who, at the time, was posing as a paranoid but definitely skilled Dark Wizard Catcher (or Auror, as the official title was) and, against all odds, completed all the tasks and survived the return of Lord Voldemort, managing to: defeat a Hungarian Horntail - which, according to Fantastic Beasts & Where To Find Them, is "supposedly the most dangerous of all dragon breeds" and has "one of the longest fire-breathing ranges (up to fifty feet)" - using a charm he had mastered only hours before and the broomstick given to him by his criminal godfather; find a date to the Yule Ball - after turning numerous potential dates - even though he only wanted one so that he wouldn't look like an unpopular prat; execute an underwater rescue - and get an extra points awarded for "moral fibre" - using Gillyweed obtained by his blind trust in a House Elf that had previously tried to grievously injure him; make his way to the centre of the maze that had grown up in the middle of his much beloved Quidditch Pitch - admittedly with the help of a minion of his ultimate nemesis who, at the time, was posing as his Defence Against the Dark Arts Professor - although drawing with the first-chosen Champion of his school and finally sit through the Dark Lord's So Very Evil monologue before duelling aforementioned Lord of Darkness, grabbing the body of the first-chosen Champion of his school and escaping back to aforementioned School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. And he still, inexplicably, managed to procure the House Cup for Gryffindor - despite the fact that it might have been nice to award extra points to Cedric Diggory's House for having a member of said House being brutally murdered by the rat-Animagus minion of Voldemort.
Morag spent the rest of the week trying to convince her classmates that it was all a conspiracy but, unfortunately, no-one believed her (except from a pale blonde girl a year below her but everyone knew that she was insane so that didn't count).
Which brings us to his fifth year.