Summary: Established SebaCiel, divergent from anime plot. Everything Ciel thought he knew about the most horrible part of his life was a lie. Rachel and Vincent Phantomhive no longer know the son they were separated from for so long. And just who is this new butler that never leaves his side? Collaboration with SunBinamra.

Disclaimer: We do not own Kuroshitsuji. And please excuse our French - literally. We used an online translator for our chapter titles as neither of us speaks French.

pinch of the game

phrase

19th century English expression meaning the determining moment, the crucial point

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Prologue

He had been in his study, as usual. The storm was particularly violent tonight, with flashes of lightning appearing at random intervals. Finishing the last paper in his stack, he huffed and spun around in his chair to face the window.

Another crack of lightning briefly illuminated the manor grounds, and the sight that greeted Ciel's eyes had him bolting out of the chair.

Ciel shakes his head and crystal droplets of water are flung from his blue-gray locks. "Not real, not real, not real," he whispers to himself over and over. This mantra is the only shred of reality he can cling to. The only thing that will keep him from crumbling like a china doll.

But it's not enough. He slowly raises his head once more to stare at the unholy sight that tortures his soul. His eyes, one a pure blue, the other a marred purple, widen and refuse to look away no matter how hard Ciel tries.

He was unable to believe it at first. But when the second lightning strike flashed, he raced out of the study.

"My lord?" A confused Sebastian asked as he came down the hall, but the young earl shoved past him and sprinted down the stairs. He was out the door in seconds.

His shoulders tremble and his thoughts are in a jumble. Thoughts… if he didn't have to think, this wouldn't be happening. It wouldn't hurt so much. His eyes see the unbelievable, his thoughts register them. They flow to his heart, his soul. The two things he's tried to seal off the most since that fateful night. The two things that no longer belong to him.

This… this is just a dream. A screwed up trick his mind is playing on him. Is it him, or is it another? His enemies are plentiful and none too ordinary. The angel... is she doing this to him? A reaper, another demon? WHO?

It hurts! The thoughts pull and pull at his emotions that threaten to spill. He wants to rip them out! Rid himself of this torture!

Ciel clutches his head in his hands. "No!" he whispers. He can't control it anymore and the tears fall down his cheeks, mixing with the rain he's already drenched in. His slender form trembles with cold and with fear.

Then he hears it. The soothing voice that he should fear… should hate. Bocchan it whispers. Ciel's grip loosens, and his tremors cease.

Face it. Face it or it will never end.

The voice offers the comfort nothing else could give. Ciel releases his head slowly. He clenches his fists and steels himself, looking straight ahead.

"F-father? Mother?" Ciel croaked. The rain thundered down in sheets, and yet the heavy silence between them was all they could hear.