I wrote this down in like twenty minutes after spazzing out about this week's episode and next week's promo. This show will be the death of me.
The last time they spoke was in that quiet restaurant as Fitz muttered those four words that tore Olivia's heart in two. She kept tabs on him of course watching his reelection campaign and staying up late to watch all the coverage of his second inauguration night she looked at the magazines where 'America's Baby' was featured and tortured herself with the family picture of the Grant's that had been on the cover of Time magazine as Fitz's final term ended.
She had managed to become even more immersed in her work if that was possible, she completed some of her greatest work during that time when she took almost anyone who came to her spending all hours of the day devoted to her clients. A year after Fitz had been re-elected Olivia began dating a former client he was a CEO of an energy company who had used her services during a tricky situation with a disgruntled former employee. His name was Ryan and he was charming and funny, he provided Olivia with relaxed nights at his place he'd fix her dinner and entertain her with countless stories of his intriguing life but most importantly he made her happy he gave her a reason to leave work early and enjoy the life around her. They dated for two years before he surprised her one morning with a diamond ring and a promise of forever. As he knelt in front of her Olivia closed her eyes and saw Fitz, her heart broke again not sure if she was angry that Fitz had invaded this happy moment or if she was devastated he wasn't the one with the ring in his hand. She willed him out of her mind as she grasped Ryan's head in her hands kissing him soundly in agreement.
They were married a year later the who's who of Washington turned out to celebrate Olivia Pope's happiness. Olivia made it through the entire day without thinking of Fitz focusing only on Ryan and the happiness they'd share together but that night as she and Ryan laid together as husband and wife she let her mind wander replaying the day's events in her head, Fitz's rightfully in Ryan's place.
Her marriage to Ryan was a good thing; it humbled her, made her realize what was important in her life. She enjoyed coming home to someone, having a partner to spend her free time with sharing her favorite hobbies with someone that she didn't have to hide like a dirty secret.
During the final year of Fitz's presidency Olivia and Mellie ran into each other at a charity event. Mellie was savoring her final moments as First Lady and on the top of her game, Olivia hadn't been prepared to run into her but there they were standing in front of one another at the door Mellie's trained smile perfectly intact as Olivia faltered a bit thrown by the reappearance of her old life.
"Olivia, how nice to see you." In the beginning Mellie and Olivia had worked together as an unconventional team Mellie turned a blind eye to Olivia's love affair with her husband and Olivia produced a history making president but after Olivia left the team Mellie's blind eye opened up and she never looked at Olivia Pope the same again.
"Hello Mellie." The two women cordially hugged for a moment their twisted past didn't exist they were only two women who genuinely respected one another.
As Mellie pulled away she caught sight of Olivia's wedding ring a smile crept onto her face "Who is the lucky guy?" and as Olivia spoke of her husband she saw the twisted pleasure in Mellie's face that told her Mellie and Fitz's relationship was icy as ever she wondered how soon Mellie would wait before telling Fitz.
"I'm happy for you Olivia." That evening as Olivia joined Ryan in front of the TV watching the news she thought of Mellie and Fitz in the residence, Mellie announcing Olivia's marriage she knew that Fitz would be insatiably jealous and she wondered if he would execute his presidential power to further investigate her life, she wondered if he'd discover her pregnancy.
Olivia had never been desperate for motherhood but when she discovered she was pregnant she felt a surge of joy that she hadn't expected she kept her pregnancy quiet only telling close family and friends. She worked throughout the nine months covering her expanding belly with her usual designer duds; she was working a case when she went into labor agreeing to go to the hospital just a few hours before her daughter was born. She didn't think she'd ever been as happy as she was when she held Vivienne in her arms for the first time but then Ryan came into the room and they sat together inspecting the child they had created together and her heart shook with uncertainty because it didn't feel right. Later when her family had arrived to fawn over the baby Olivia fell asleep giving way to a series of dreams where Fitz was the father of her child and when she woke up with a smile on her face she hated herself for once again letting Fitz occupy a happy moment in her life.
When Fitz's run as president ended Olivia marked the occasion by sending Cyrus an email congratulating him on making it through the tumultuous eight years he emailed her back telling her of course she deserved the most credit, apart from Fitz himself, because she was the one who not only turned around Fitz's campaign when it down in the beginning but because she was the one who ignited the passion in Fitz to succeed. Olivia printed out Cyrus's words and sat in her office and sobbed, she didn't think her heart would ever quite mend after Fitz but when she got home and Vivienne ran into her arms and Ryan greeted her with a sound kiss she realized she would survive.
She survived the next 12 years and found that with time she managed to pack Fitz away into her past finding all of the good parts of this new life and marvel in them. Vivienne had grown into a beautiful young girl who kept Olivia busy as her striking good looks assured her a constant group of admirers. Two days after the official announcement of Fitz and Mellie Grant's divorce shocked the country, Ryan died in a car accident, Olivia was distraught over Ryan's death but that didn't take away from the fact she wondered if it was divine intervention that she and Fitz were suddenly single at the same time. She spent hours reading reports of the divorce letting herself drown in the memory of Fitz's longtime dream to divorce Mellie and be with her.
She had taken time off of work after Ryan's death when she was called in to help with Mellie Grant's upcoming campaign for the republican nominee for president. Olivia and Cyrus met for lunch one day trading taunts about Mellie and her probable presidency Cyrus confided in Olivia that he was likely to retire soon influencing her into another campaign. "It'll be our swan song- I need my work wife."
They began their fight for the white house together the trio traveled the country as Mellie charmed her way in the hearts of the people. Thanks to the divorce Fitz didn't come up in many conversations the spotlight was on Mellie and Olivia was thankful but as the election date crept closer Olivia knew they needed one last punch to ensure Mellie's victory.
"Will Fitz endorse you?" Olivia asked Mellie one evening as they planned further strategies "If you show the people that you all are having a calm divorce and that he, a past president, believes you capable you will win this thing."
Mellie looked at her intriguingly their divorce had been quiet Fitz's only request was that he keep the family ranch and get partial custody of the children and Mellie agreed because she wanted a clean break that wouldn't get in the way of her run yet she also knew Fitz wasn't going to do her any favors.
"He will if you ask him." Mellie knew about Olivia's husband's death and wondered how long it would take her and Fitz to together but she had been surprised at how uninterested Olivia was even as she spoke Olivia looked at her blankly as if there hadn't been a history between them at all.
When Mellie had told Olivia she'd have to ask Fitz about the endorsement her heart raced but she willed her face to stay impassive her mind went wild with speculation on what the meeting would look like she wondered if she'd be able to control herself when seeing the love of her life for the first time in well over a decade. Then she thought of how lost she had let herself become the last time she was with Fitz, how she let him cloud her judgment and make her act irrationally she was stronger now, she had a daughter that relied on her and she couldn't mess this up.
Three days later she was at the Grant Ranch walking up to the front of the house where Fitz's assistant waited for her. At first she had insisted that Cyrus join her but Mellie convinced her that the best way to get the endorsement was for her to go alone. As she made her way into the house her heart rose surged with excitement, the assistant led her into the living room assuring her Fitz would be along shortly, she stood in his living room taking in the feel of it realize that she had never been in his own house. She looked around and saw what she expected to see quite a bit of sports memorabilia and easy California motif, there was a long line of family pictures along the mantle and on the coffee table she looked at the pictures of Fitz and his children, feeling like an absent aunt looking at pictures of Karen and Jerry unbelieving that they were so old. She was smiling at a picture of all three of Fitz's children noting the identical grins that they shared with their father, when Fitz walked into the room. She turned on her heel meeting his eyes and for the first time in a long time Olivia Pope felt complete.
"Hello Liv."
The stood awkwardly for a moment neither sure of how to act, Fitz moved first but Olivia stopped him she wouldn't let herself falter. She sat down on the couch her hands clasped together tightly.
"Endorse Mellie for president." She said Fitz sat across from her overwhelmed with the familiarity of Olivia's no-nonsense attitude.
"You look good."
"An official announcement at a rally here in Santa Barbra you'll encourage people to vote for her."
"Oh come on all this time and its just business?"
"Rave about a few good qualities she has-"
"You are wearing your hair differently. I like it."
"You'll take a family picture with the kids. Go to the polls with a camera crew on election morning." They stared at each other for a long moment Fitz accepting that he wasn't going to get through to her until they handle their business and Olivia's heart racing from his compliments fighting everything inside of her to keep her face from bursting into a childish smile.
"Okay I'll do it." He leaned back in his seat giving Olivia a challenging smile, now that they had finished business Fitz was determined to talk about them. Olivia stared back letting herself take a good look at Fitz. Although he had aged a little in the past 14 years but what was most noticeable was how relaxed he looked.
"How have you been?" Olivia finally spoke after several minutes Fitz sighed at the sound of her voice it no longer held the air of politeness that indicated business, it was soft, warm- his Liv.
"I've been good, being retired is enjoyable. I've spent more time with Jack than I ever did with Karen or Jerry."
"He's what 15 now?" If Olivia had ever harbored lingering feelings of guilt for her and Mellie's scheme of 'America's Baby' they vanished as she saw the spark of love shine in Fitz's eyes even if Jack was produced for political gain he was greatly loved by Fitz and he had a great impact on Fitz's life.
"Yes, 15, last month." Fitz beamed a comfortable silence fell between them their eyes never leaving one another they wordlessly atoned for the past 15 years.
"How are you Livie?" Emotion thick in his voice Fitz looked at Olivia sincerely "Are you happy?"
"I was." She remembered those final painful moments they had been stuck, so hopelessly in love yet completely unable to be together. "I got married, had a daughter." Surprise mixed with jealous and hurt fell on Fitz's face "It wasn't you, not even close but it was what I needed, and I was happy."
Fitz wouldn't deny that he was insanely jealous but he found solace in Olivia's apparent happiness he could see it in her eyes and the way she carried herself. He saw how essential their years apart were, he was glad that he had let her go, glad that she had been able to live a life he hadn't be able to give her. He appreciated with the fact that their 15 year separation was a necessary evil in order for Olivia to be the woman he loved. He was still jealous of this husband that got 15 years from Olivia and he doubted that he'd ever be able to look at her daughter and not imagine her being his, but he was thankful that Olivia was whole, that their spilt hadn't been in vain.
"I've missed you Liv." He said before moving towards her, sitting in the spot next to her on the couch he took her hands in his and kissed each hand reverently.
"I've missed you too Fitz." She wasn't breathing as she watched him kiss her hands; after his lips left her knuckles she pulled both hands away moving them to his face grasping his cheeks in her hands she moved forward brazenly kissing him on the lips.
"I'm yours now."