Dramatis Personae:
Weiss – The Rogue Trader
"By the power vested in me by the holy decree of the God-Emperor himself, I claim this world for the Imperium of Man and the Schnee Dynasty! Soon you ignoramuses shall all see the glorious light of the Emperor's benevolence! ...What's that? Evidence of a deeply entrenched Chaos cult?... Soon you ignoramuses shall all see the glorious light of an Imperial Exterminatus!" – Weiss Schnee, addressing the people of the newly rediscovered world of Carcon IV shortly before its destruction.
"Governor, I would like to convey my sincere gratitude for your patience and understanding in this grisly endeavor. Yes, I realize that for you it matters not who delivers your supply of illicit alcohols, but I do appreciate your willingness to ignore the unfortunate consequences of business, namely the cadavers that have been left in your estate swimming pool." – Weiss Schnee, to Governor Ronus of Acelon Prime after seizing control of local smuggling operations.
"Come now Senator, surely there is no need for this petty posturing. I am more than certain you can find and feed a legitimate excuse to your constituency for refusing to raise offworld trade tariffs on industrial goods. After all, you wouldn't want some of your 'youthful indiscretions' to become public knowledge, now would you?" – Weiss Schnee, to Senator Vreenak of Remus II.
"Do you think my fortune so meager or my connections so shallow that I cannot acquire such a trifle?" – Weiss Schnee, shortly before purchasing two-thousand Astartes-pattern Storm Bolters, nine-hundred Tau Pulse Rifles, and one hundred Kauravan Baneblades.
"I assure you Canoness, my faith in the God-Emperor is absolute, and I would be more than delighted to aid you in this most holy endeavor. I have recently acquired a shipment of freshly manufactured Baneblades, would you have use for them?" – Weiss Schnee, to Canoness Penelope Principia of the Order of the White Rose, shortly before the massively successful Frostblade Blitz crusade.
"Well excuse me princess! I said I was sorry!" – Weiss Schnee, to Prince Scooter Puff Jr. of planet Express.
Weiss is the current scion of the illustrious Schnee Dynasty, the 79th of her kin to hold such a hallowed position within the annals of Imperial history. She is a confident, charismatic leader of renown, naturally talented and rigorously tutored in the arts of diplomacy and commerce by the best instructors in the segmentum in anticipation of her ascendancy, an incident which took place all too recently and all too soon. Though Weiss had been preparing all her life for her rise to absolute leader of the vast powerhouse that was the Schnee Dynasty, such an eventuality was accelerated by necessity after a vicious attack on her family murdered her father. In the incident known as the Night of a Thousand Dying Flames, over a dozen Rogue Traders and many of their successors were killed in piratical attacks by a fleet of unnaturally powerful raiders. Though Weiss grieved at her father's demise, she quickly turned this despairing occurrence into the opportunity that it was, seizing large tracts of industry and other assets from the other afflicted dynasties, absorbing the competition and crystallizing her power over the Dust Sector. With a newly consolidated foundation to support her, Weiss began inroads into the Remnant Sprawl, an untamed peril-fraught region on the periphery of the Imperium said to be the bane of honest voidfarers and faithful Imperials alike. She went to this expanse with three specific goals: establish herself as a dominant power; purge the unclean and convert the ignorant; and utterly decimate the White Fang, the ones who murdered her father.
Ruby – The Heretek
"It's a simple process really; just hardwire a network bypass between the secondary genetorum feed and the activation matrix of the fighter defense screen, then slave the corresponding targeting cogitators to a competent servitor's neural network to allow for direct sensory input. It's not like it was hard or any- Ooh! Cookies!" – Ruby Rose, after having miraculously prevented the destruction of a profitable derelict starship.
"Okay little servo skull, do you remember the route? Yes? Good, then get going. Oh! But this time bring back some oatmeal raisin!" – Ruby Rose, instructing a servo skull to steal cookies from the ship's galley.
"Omnissiah? What's that?" – Ruby Rose, to an unnamed Archmagos Juris of Forge World Hefaestus.
"Why are you accusing me of being the one who programmed the Tau drones to play soccer with a servo skull in the observation deck? …Well, yes, I suppose I am the only one who knows how to…" – Ruby Rose, upon being confronted with a destroyed observation deck.
"Are you the original owner of this power sword? Okay, here you go! I made a few modifications; now the blade is much more balanced and you can channel psychic energy through the psycho-reactive crystal along the shaft. …What do you mean improving it is impossible? What does being Eldar have to do with anything? Well try it out! Is it better? ...Yeah, that's what I thought! ...Racist prick…" – Ruby Rose, to an unnamed Eldar farseer shortly before his subsequent death and the re-looting of his power sword.
"You got me a titan?! This is the best birthday ever!" – Ruby Rose, upon receiving an Imperator-class titan.
Ruby is one of Weiss's many underlings, a valued member of her personal retinue proficient in the handling and maintenance of technology. Despite a harsh upbringing in the bowels of a cold trade transport, she exhibits a cheery aura of good will and helpfulness, an attitude that practically guaranteed her a position of higher calling once the crew chiefs discovered her innate affinity with the inner workings and mechanisms of technology, an aptitude Ruby strived to improve. Be it a human crafted component or one of the myriad xenos artifacts stored in the smuggling holds, Ruby always found a way to derive, tinker with, and improve upon a device's basic properties, a skill that directed her to the indefinite assignment of overseer of the inventory. She encountered Weiss during the Rogue Trader's attempt to gain control of the cold trade operation she was a part of, having met her in combat when Weiss boarded her vessel to claim it as her own. Loyal to the end, Ruby valiantly guarded the ship's holds of xenos artifacts, fending off the invaders successfully until the Rogue Trader herself confronted her. Weiss brought her down easily enough, and could have left her to die, but she had observed Ruby's skillful conduct with xenos weaponry and her unwavering devotion, and ordered her crew to take the tech expert to her own ship's medical bay for recuperation. Ruby awoke several days later, upon which Weiss informed her of the change in management and extended an offer to join her crew. Grateful to Weiss for saving her life, as well as the miraculous opportunity to interact with as much machinery as she could get her hands on, Ruby accepted.
As a consequence of their battle, Ruby required bionics to survive, an expense that Weiss consistently refers to as investments whenever they are mentioned. Currently, Ruby possesses: a Bionic Heart for improved blood circulation, Gastral Bionics to replace her stomach and intestines, a Respiratory Filter Implant to improve oxygen intake, a Vitae Supplacement to act as an emergency life support system.
Blake – The Seneschal
"Say the word and I can have him lying face down in a ditch within the next six and a half minutes. …You want him strung up above the doors of his own mansion? Fifteen minutes, max." – Blake Belladonna, concerning Baron Ebestrius Topes of Ballidax Hive.
"If the good bishop is pulling out of his trade obligation with us, then perhaps we should release the footage of him pulling out of a known and reviled Chaos reaver." – Blake Belladonna, concerning Archbishop Canterbus of Hekatone IV.
"I've heard about certain deals you've been making with key players in the Splintered Luminary cartel. You're going to tell me everything you know about them and their operations, or I'm going to get a live demonstration of what happens when I attach this xenos device to your spinal plug. Seeing as how I found this connected to a techpriest that died from self-mutilation, I assume it's not pleasant..." – Blake Belladonna, to an unnamed Senior Magos.
"You're not being compensated for non-answers and guesswork; if you can't provide worthwhile information, I'll find someone else who can." – Blake Belladonna, to Inquisitor Hadrax Ishmael Ignacio Jacobim the Fourth.
"How did I find your safehouse? I've been tailing you through the underhive for the last two hours and fended off half a dozen assassins. You're quite fortunate that your services are rendered often enough to be able to afford a safehouse; though you're also very unfortunate that so many powerful people want you dead." – Blake Belladonna, to a gang lord shortly before his death.
"Finally! I've waited far too long for the latest issue of Callidus Assassins of Love. It's damn near heretical, but it's damn good smut…" – Blake Belladonna, upon receiving an unknown parcel.
Blake fulfills the vital role of seneschal for Weiss, acting as a capable amalgam of analyst, assassin, and spymaster. As expected for one of her station, Blake is reserved and calm, and exudes an impression of respectful competence, but behind her golden irises lays a shrewd and subtle menace that most remain unaware of. She speaks little of her past, though it is clear she studied the finer points of negotiation, subtlety, interrogation, and logistics in great depth and detail, and has had enough dealings with the criminal underworld to claim intimate familiarity with their practices. Blake encountered Weiss during her time as a freelance assassin, the Rogue Trader's name and face first crossing her eyes as a target. Months passed in preparation before Blake arranged an ambush, the assassin lying in wait in the high rafters and support struts of an Imperial installation on a world at war. While her target conducted her business, Blake witnessed the carnage and destruction wrought by the inhuman invaders upon terrified civilians and soldiers alike, their unnatural swiftness and debased cruelty countered only by the devastating artillery of the Imperium's war machines. In her observations, she noted that many of these machines were being supplied by the Rogue Trader herself, an arrangement that ultimately led to Imperial victory and a cheering populace freed from the horrors of the void. When the time came for Blake to take the shot, she found she couldn't. Shortly before Weiss was to depart, Blake approached her and requested an audience. From then on, Blake served as Weiss's shadowy left hand, navigating the labyrinthine darkness surrounding them to the shining light at the end of the macrocannon.
Yang – The Arch-Militant
"Pew, pew, pew! Kablooey!" – Yang Xiao Long, playing in the bath.
"These laser gauntlets are fucking awesome!" – Yang Xiao Long, after brutally disemboweling an Ork Warboss.
"These? Oh yeah, these babies are massive! Maintaining them is hell though; I need to rub them down with oil every day to keep them in shape. You wanna help me with that? Okay, let's get to a workbench so we can get down and dirty! …You're not talking about my gauntlets, are you?" – Yang Xiao Long
"You said if I needed anything I could requisition it freely. Excessive? Of course it's not excessive! If anything, it's not enough! Do you have any idea how much it takes to preserve these luxurious golden locks?" – Yang Xiao Long, upon being confronted over a small transport filled to the brim with hair product.
"Now, when you say cause a distraction, does that mean I'm allowed to terminate with extreme prejudice? Really?! I am so totally getting you a 'Best Boss Ever' mug." – Yang Xiao Long, shortly before the destruction of a Kroot War Sphere.
"Just hear me out. You take half the drones and I'll take the other half, and we can use a servo skull for a ball! Come on, what's the worst that could happen?" – Yang Xiao Long, overheard shortly before the destruction of the observation deck.
"Yangarang, motherfuckers!" – Yang Xiao Long, shouted as a battlecry.
"Yippee yi Yang, motherfuckers!" – Yang Xiao Long, shouted as a battlecry while riding her custom assault bike, Bumblebee.
Yang serves as Weiss's personal bodyguard, always accompanying the Rogue Trader anytime she steps foot off of her mighty starship. Whether it's onto the steel deck plates of a waystation or a blood soaked battleground with Imperial artillery sounding around them, Yang is always there for her employer, ready to lend a hand or a plasma grenade. Regardless of circumstances, she remains unflappable, exuding an air of playfulness seemingly at odds with her deadly talents. Born and raised on one of the Imperium's many hive worlds, Yang lived in the crime-ridden poverty-stricken underhive as a gladiatorial pit fighter, engaging in savage, all-out warfare against scum, criminals, warriors, and even xenos as entertainment for the masses. Yang fought, and Yang won, and she slowly clawed her way up the ranks until she was crowned champion of the pit, a meaningless title for a needlessly brutal sport that granted her what scant luxury the underhive could provide. Her meeting with Weiss was purely coincidental, both patronizing the same scummy watering hole the same time a bar brawl broke out. Although both were initially disinterested in the melee, the situation escalated quickly once mutant gang members started shooting indiscriminately, the brawl descending into an all-encompassing orgy of violence. At slaughter's end, the only ones standing were the champion and the Rogue Trader. Weiss sized up her fellow combatant and promptly offered her a position on her ship as muscle, an opportunity Yang pounced on immediately.
AN: So... this is a thing. XD
Umm... I honestly have no idea where this would go, or what kind of story I want it to be. Honestly, I just really liked the idea so I ran with it.
Also, the Order of the White Rose is actually canon! Thanks, Cain novels!