In The Dreamworld
"You know," the mysterious boy murmurs as he swings his legs off of his bed. "That this isn't real, don't you?
He stares at the boy. He has only met him twice, and still he made absolutely no sense. The boy glances at him and begins to chuckle, his voice barely loud enough to carry across a room.
"None of this seems…familiar to you? The Shadows, maybe?"
He shakes his head at the boy.
"Oh…of course it doesn't. But," the boy smiles knowingly at him. "Maybe in time it will. You still haven't pieced together much. Making more connections…those will help you understand."
The boy disappears shortly afterwards and Ienzo is left wondering what just happened.
"You're smiling," Junpei laughs. "Yukari, what did you do to him? Our little antisocial Ienzo is smiling!"
He feels like smiling, honestly. He doesn't know why this is such a big deal. Yukari and Junpei certainly seem to think this is an accomplishment.
He feels like doing plenty of things, actually. His headphones end up around his neck more than over his ears lately.
He walks into Bookworms. The day is bright outside, and the proprietors of the shop echo the cheery day. The two smile at him, filling him with a faint stirring of happiness. He is glad he could come today.
As he passes a bookshelf, he stops. His eye catches on a thick black book, wedged between thinner and more colorful varieties of novels. He stands, staring at the spine of the book. A peculiar symbol followed by spindly letters line it.
"Interested, Ienzo-kun?" A voice laughs behind him as a gnarled hand coaxes the book from the shelf. "I got this book maybe two months ago. Looks mysterious, doesn't it?"
On the cover, the spindly words are even more noticeable. 'Lexicon' is displayed across the top. He opens it and blinks in astonishment. Each page is blank.
The old man aside him laughs uproariously. "Oh, I'm sorry Ienzo-kun! It looks interesting, but it's actually completely blank! Sorry I didn't warn you!"
He sighs, feeling just a tad disappointed. As the book is taken away from him, Ienzo blinks. The open page, once blank, now had a single image on it. Before he could reach for it, the book is shut and placed on the shelf.
"Oh well. Maybe one day someone will fill it with something, eh? Oh, Ienzo-kun, did I ever tell you about...?"
Dreams about shadows gain more frequency with him. Ienzo wakes up tired every day and doesn't know why. He hasn't left for Tartarus in a week, yet it feels as if he ascended an entire block solo. The dreams are confusing too. The shadows he dreams about do not look like the ones he fights. They are more rounded and cartoonish in comparison, with exaggerated features and garish colors. Others are pure black, with luminescent yellow eyes and devastatingly sharp claws.
There are people, too, and a castle. Few people, with long black coats and cowls which hide their faces, sometimes invade his dreams. Sometimes, Ienzo dreams he's wearing one too.
And sometimes he dreams he's being choked to death. Those dreams are the worst by far.
He is running about, looking for mirrors to break. The seal on the door has to be broken, and after that incident with Yukari…he really wants to kill that Shadow responsible for it. He can feel his cheek burn from her slap still, and he's not entirely sure if it's because it hurts or because he's really embarrassed.
He faces a mirror in an empty room and freezes, shock coursing through him like a Zio spell.
His reflection is odd. It is a reflection, but it is wrong all the same. He is slightly taller in the reflection, with a veil of hair that covers half his face, and wearing a familiar long dark coat instead of his school uniform. The expression on his reflection mirrors his shock as their eyes stare into another.
"Is something wrong?" Akihiko ventures tentatively.
Ienzo smashes the mirror with the hilt of his sword. It is wrong and that isn't what he looks like.
His mind grows fuzzy. When he comes to, he and Yukari are standing in the same room on the first floor of the hotel again. She and Fuuka both chastise him for breaking a mirror that reflected himself.
He suspects they didn't see anything wrong with it. It's an annoying trend at this point.
Pharos grins at him. "You are slowly awakening. You have made many connections, and those connections are helping you find yourself. It has been ten years, you know. I was worried this would be more difficult for you."
Ten years? The only thing that happened ten years ago that he can remember is his parent's deaths. He voices his confusion, and the boy laughs softly.
"Tell me, what did you feel after you lost them?"
He carefully thinks about his answer.
"I felt like I lost my heart." The statement strikes a harsh chord in him, as though the words themselves hit a nerve. Pharos smiles at him still, that same knowing smile. It's starting to get irritating.
"Exactly."
He sits on the beach, looking out at the ocean. He tries thinking about his parents, but for some reason he can't even picture them in his mind's eye. He can't even remember how they died, or who they were. He just knows that they are dead, and have been that way for a very long time.
Ienzo shivers. He can't even remember what happened before his first experience with the Dark Hour. His memory before arriving at the station fades off, and he cannot recall anything before it.
He begins to wonder if he's going insane, or if it has always been this way. The thought didn't bother him before but now he feels tingles of fear of the unknown and what he should have known.
The dreams still haunt him, with increasing vividness. They are always different, with new people who wore the black coats. He recognized no place he dreamed of. No Shadow he saw were like the ones during Dark Hour.
Ienzo doesn't know why, but he doesn't even like the beach. He hopes that the vacation will be over soon.
More people are opening up to him, telling secrets or desires they have not told anyone before. They all react as if they released a weight they could no longer bear, the relief palpable on their faces.
Ienzo wonders if he should try. There are many things that are bothering him, and not all of them are associated with school, peers, or even the Shadows.
It's the dreams. They come more often, every night now. He is even starting to remember them with alarming acuity. The taste of the blue bar of ice cream he ate in the most recent dream lingers in his mouth, even though he is positive he ate anything neither sweet nor salty recently.
In that dream, he was perhaps eight or nine years old. He remembers an old man, who held his free hand as they walked down a dreary hall. He remembers stopping and glancing backwards, towards…
Ienzo feels a chill go down his spine.
"Hey Ienzo? Are you listening to me?" A tap on his shoulder snaps him from his reverie. He blinks.
"…Sorry, I was just thinking."
Kenji merely snorts. "Yeah, alright."
Ienzo feels like sighing. It seems although he is a good ear for his friends, they don't reciprocate. Telling them anything would just ruin the tenuous bonds he already made. It'd be best to just cater to their problems first and deal with his own himself.
"Zexion?" Ienzo says the name aloud, and finds the name does not feel foreign to say.
Elizabeth nods at him, with a small smile gracing her face. "Yes, that is your name. Or, it once was. You are called Ienzo now, aren't you?"
Ienzo keeps his mouth shut, though his mind is racing furiously. He knows the implications of affirming his dream, but he still does not understand why or how this could make any sense. His silence stretches, and while Igor remains on his seat, staring at him with bloodshot eyes down an absurdly long nose, Elizabeth once again comes to his aid.
"My Master does not wish to reveal everything to you now, but know that there is a difference between reality and a dream. It will be most important."
With no more information to be obtained, Ienzo bids goodbye and steps out of the Velvet Room, more puzzled than when he entered.
He knows he has dreams. He also knows that he can tell what is real and what isn't.
But then…why do the dreams feel so real?
He is walking Koromaru when it happens. As they pass the shrine, Ienzo begins to feel dizzy. He sits on a bench and holds his head, but the spell only continues. The air around him shimmers and distorts as the pain in his head increases. He grits his teeth and groans, willing for the pain to stop, or for anyone to come across and take him to the hospital.
Ienzo shuts his eyes, and stiffens as the pain continues. He hears a shattering noise akin to the sound of summoning a Persona and the pain vanishes. He opens his eyes.
A veil of hair drapes down over his right eye. His eyes widen and he glances to the side, where his only companion at the moment is sitting. He jolts back and sees he is clothed in a long black coat, his hands covered by thick black gloves, and his feet encased by surprisingly heavy black boots.
Koromaru sits aside him, head cocked in confusion but not panic. "Arf?"
"Koro-chan?" Ienzo murmurs, and realizes his voice is slightly deeper than before. "Can you see…?"
The dog blinks at him, and then tugs on his leash. Ienzo stands uneasily and follows the dog back to the dorm. His boots clomp loudly against the pavement, and a few passersby glance at him suspiciously. He looks down at the pavement, suddenly glad that his hair hides most of his face.
He walks up the stairs and to the door and stops. His vision gleams white. He hears Koromaru's bark before everything goes dark.
When he wakes up, he's lying in his bed. When he inquires what happened the previous night, everyone tells him he had gone to bed early.
Ienzo feels like he's going mad.
In his memory, Ienzo cannot for the life of him remember the last time he felt so horrible.
The ceremony is so impersonal, and all of the voices around him speak with either disinterest or scorn. He tells a group of the noisier classmates in front of him to shut up, and finds with surprise that venom fills his voice. Junpei assists him, but a teacher swiftly admonishes him before any justice could be done.
As soon as the assembly is dismissed, Ienzo feels and overwhelming nausea come upon him. He walks back to class with the others, then promptly leaves and races to the closest source of fresh air, the roof. His headache from the hard battle he had done only the night before pounds fiercely in his skull and his stomach feels as if it has dropped out from beneath him.
He drops onto a bench and gulps in the air, but it only gets worse. His nauseous feeling intensifies, and a burning sensation spreads through his eyes. With a choking cough, Ienzo bows his head, and feels something hot running down his cheeks. His coughs turn tight and sorrowful, and he has to struggle to hold back a swelling compulsion to sob.
Ienzo finally recognizes his affliction. It's grief, something he hadn't exhibited in a long while. He can't even remember the last time he cried like this.
It feels so weak, but he can't help it. Despair crushes him like a tin can underneath a compressor. It's unrelenting; the guilt of not being more attentive, the self-loathing of being unable to stop it, the sadness of knowing he was still alive while…
Ienzo gasps as a fierce pain lances through his chest. He coughs roughly and clenches his shirt over his heart. Everything around him distorts as his headache intensifies briefly. This time, though, his eyes burn too much to snap shut.
It isn't a change like some werewolf underneath a full moon light. Rather, it's a sharp flicker, like a television station that is rapidly changing channels. One moment he is wearing his school uniform, and the next the image is replaced with something entirely different. He is suited in the black coat from his dreams, his hair fully obscures half of his vision, and the distance between himself and the ground shifts slightly.
The change does not stop. It continually flickers back and forth as he stands. He feels a sense of disorientation wash over him.
His chest still feels as if it is on fire.
"What is happening to…me?" He grinds out as the pain turns debilitating. His headache intensifies two-fold, and his vision fades into white light.
When he wakes up, he's on his bed in the dormitory. There is no sign that he had yet again transformed.
Ienzo has the dual sensation of wanting to scream and vomit at the same time.
He's studying for exams and it is as boring as he thought it'd be. Each book he pours through has piles of text which in turn are vague in description and factually barren of anything constituting an answer. With an irritated huff, Ienzo picks up another book from the floor and hopes it holds the answer he's looking for.
To his astonishment, the book does. He finds his answers for homework easily. In fact, the text in the book is incredibly easy to reach, with answers nearly popping out at him left and right.
His study session goes faster than he expected. Ienzo smiles and shuts the book.
A strange symbol, spindly letters, and the words 'Lexicon' span across the cover. The smile vanishes from his face and a cold sensation sweeps over him. There is a note taped to the front, with precise and curvy writing standing boldly out at him.
I'm usually not very good with picking out gifts, but I saw this and thought you could do with something to write in. It already has your last name on the cover! Hope you like it.
Yukari
Ienzo shakily opens the book again. The pages, once covered in text, lay stark bare before him.
He throws it underneath his desk.
Pharos responds to his question with a faint smile.
"My time here is almost up. I've been gathering my own pieces too. But I guess I do know more about my fate than you do yours," he says with a childishly light tone. Ienzo wants to kick him off the bed.
Before he does, Pharos speaks once again.
"You've recently acquired despair. I bet that one was hard to take back. After feeling nothing for so long, it's startling when those unpleasant feelings return, isn't it?"
Ienzo doesn't know what to say to that. Pharos continues to smile.
"When the end comes, will you be ready?"
He answers truthfully this time. "I don't think so."
Pharos hums and jumps off the bed. "The last shadow will arrive soon, and I must go. Please try to be ready."
Ienzo struggles against the binds holding him onto the cross, flailing as the Chairman rants with fantastic glee. The chains are wrapped far too tightly around his arms and torso.
"I am bringing forth the Fall of course!" The Chairman cackles, ignoring SEES as he paced. "Don't you see? This whole world is corrupt! So disgusting and full of fault, there is no true answer but Death! Everything will be wiped away, and then…"
The Chairman dissolves into crazed laughter. Ienzo feels a tingle go down his spine and up his neck.
Everything changes.
The scene before him flicks away and in the chairman's place is a man wearing a white laboratory coat, with long silvery-white hair and burning amber eyes. He is in a room, watching as a rip of swirling dark energy appears behind the man. In a flash, a sinister blade appears in the man's hand.
He too is laughing manically.
"Now you all shall see the true potential of Darkness! Release your feeble hearts and revel in this power!"
Ienzo is suddenly aware he can move. He sees a door nearby. His heart is pounding in his chest, fear overcoming him. He has no idea what is happening or where he is but he knows with startling clarity that the man was insane and he needed to leave immediately. With a sharp turn, Ienzo races for the exit, barely cognizant that instead of his uniform for school or the black coat he is wearing a white laboratory coat.
"Ienzo!" A new voice calls out, and Ienzo feels something clench his wrist in a clammy grip, stopping him from taking another step. "You fool, don't you see?"
He turns his head wildly and sees a man with long dirty-blond hair. His emerald green eyes are glittering with excitement.
"This is the culmination of our research; this is what we've been look for at long last-!"
Before the man can finish, Ienzo sees his chest burst into black flame. The man's words are cut off by a sharp gasp, and his body falls forward. Ienzo watches in horror as dark particles rise from the man's body. A distance away, the other man with the blade leers at him. The sinister blade he is wielding shifts at him, the point illuminated with dark hues.
His own chest explodes with dark fire.
Ienzo gasps, his eyes widening as fear washes over him like a wave. The scene shifts again, only this time it is what he was originally involved with. He is no longer strung up on a cross, and the chairman is limp on the ground, clutching his bloody abdomen.
For the second time since joining SEES, Ienzo witnesses something he wishes he could have prevented, and it isn't the chairman's body.
He finally relents and retrieves the book from under his desk. The cover is sleek and appears to be made of black leather, or something close to the material. Ienzo examines the book's cover and spine, his fingers lightly tracing over the letters and symbols it is decorated with.
Cautiously, he opens the cover.
The first page is no longer blank. The cream-colored surface is decorated in vibrant pictures, ones Ienzo recognizes immediately. At the top of the page is a picture of himself, dressed in Gekkokan's uniform with Junpei and Yukari walking along with him. The picture appears like a photograph, and is dated months ago, back when he first arrived.
The second picture is another familiar one, though far more uncanny. It's his other form, the form where he is wearing the long dark coat. He appears thoughtful in the image, his visible eye trained on marble flooring. Ienzo can see a table behind his alternate form, colored the same as the floor. There is no date that Ienzo can tell.
The final picture at the bottom is the most striking. Ienzo stares at his more youthful form with a small shred of shock. The boy pictured is standing in a vibrantly colored plaza, staring curiously at strange Shadow-like creatures with red eyes and lithe blue bodies. In that picture, Ienzo sees he's wearing a white laboratory coat. Like the middle photograph, it too lacks a date.
There is a sentence below the three images, written with elegant grace.
A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes.
There is something about the statement that Ienzo does not like. When he turns the pages, the rest are blank. Only the front page has content, and he cannot begin to figure how this makes any sense.
The trip to Kyoto is relatively boring. Ienzo spends his free time at the hotel reading the mysterious black book. He reads about a place called Radiant Garden, its benevolent leader Ansem the Wise, and the five apprentices the man had taken under his wing.
He is not thrilled to see the book mentions the apprentice by the name 'Ienzo' had been orphaned. It seems that in either life he's destined to have no parents. The prospect of the knowledge depresses him.
Little by little, the pieces fit together of a life he cannot remember but feels as if it has happened to him.
He shuts the book and frowns, his eyes gazing at the sliding doors. It seems almost possible that he might have lived another life at one point. The evidence of such is piling up, and Ienzo cannot find enough excuses outside of insanity or belief.
"Zexion," he rolls the name out, still finding it an easy word to state despite having no conscious memory of being called as such.
The air around him flickers briefly; he spies a mass of black when he looks down at his clothes, but the air normalizes and he is wearing his bathing robe again.
To his astonishment, Ienzo realizes he is lacking a headache now.
Everyone stares in disbelief at Ryoji.
Ienzo merely raises an eyebrow. His pale classmate has a wan smile on his face, though beneath the eerie green glow of the full moon in the sky, it easily appears sinister as well.
On the contrary, Ienzo isn't afraid of him. He's curious. If Ryoji is who he claims to be, then he is also the boy he had become acquainted with when he had first arrived to Port Island. He is also the boy who dropped cryptic messages about the nature of his journey.
He knows more than what he is saying. Before Ienzo can raise his voice and ask what is going on, Ryoji sways and collapses into a heap on the cold asphalt.
Everyone is going to die.
What Ienzo finds heavily ironic is that it is a death begotten of the lost will to live. He has seen the Lost, seen how they react to everything around them. They shuffle about with blank looks upon their faces, they show no joy or sadness or fear or anger. There is only apathy, a mindless numb reaction to all stimulation.
His eyes drop back down to the black book sitting on his desk. His pale fingers drum the desk as he opens the flap.
Nobodies are beings without hearts. They have no emotions, yet by their sheer force of will, retain a physical form to seek what they have lost.
Though some Nobodies do not resemble the forms they had once been, a select few with unrelenting will can retain a human form.
When Ienzo first read the passage, he did not understand. Now…
He glances at the calendar behind him. There's only a week until Ryoji comes back.
Ienzo shuts the book and stands. He stares at the form he has been wearing the entire time in his room through the use of a mirror nearby. His older complexion with cold eyes and sharp features stares back at him, the silver tassels of his dark coat clinking together softly from his movements. He closes his eyes, focuses, and opens them again. He's staring at the form he arrived in Port Island as, with his weekend clothing this time.
Controlling his appearance as he would a Persona is still jarring to him.
He can feel his fellow SEES members stare at him as he climbs the stairway to the second floor of the dormitory. It's monumental decision, one they believe he shouldn't take lightly.
Ienzo has no interest in his fated decision. He has a more pressing matter on his mind, one that only Ryoji can answer.
He walks into his room and sees a familiar figure sitting on his bed. With a flick of his wrist, Ienzo shuts the door behind him. Ryoji manages another wan smile and stands.
"Have you made your decision-?"
"Is this the dream?" Ienzo asks baldly, interrupting the scarfed teen before he can finish. Ryoji blinks slowly at him, his eyes widening slightly. With a sigh, Ienzo steps forward and focuses. The air around his body shimmers and in a sharp flicker of light, he replaces his image with that of his black-coated form.
He doesn't vocalize it, but Ienzo is very glad it worked in front of Ryoji. Anyone else he tried this with resulted in him passing out and waking up in bed the next day.
"Ienzo-san…" Ryoji breathes. He stares for a little while longer, then smiles with far more emotion than before. "I was worrying that you were rejecting this transformation. I'm glad to see you've embraced it enough to show me your true form."
Ienzo feels like he's been dunked in cold water. Ryoji merely laughs at him.
"But you did forget something. Don't you remember? Long ago, when I first met you with my own different form, I asked you something. Do you remember now?"
For the life of him he cannot remember. Ienzo shakes his head slowly.
"You know that is all a dream, don't you?" Ryoji asks with the same childish tone Ienzo recognizes as Pharos'. "Don't you see what is really happening? Everything you decide on doing now will determine how everything will end…and where the pieces will fall. It's only a matter of time."
The cold feeling does not leave him. Instead, he is filled with more horror than he dared imagine. "Then…everyone I know-?"
Ryoji continues to smile. "I have heard that dreams are wishes the heart makes. I find it charming that yours wanted nothing more than to know true friendship."
Ienzo walks to his desk chair and sits down, suddenly feeling very heavy. He feels a sympathetic pat on his shoulder, but he doesn't swat it away. The crushing knowledge is stopping his muscles from working correctly.
"Do you care for them, Ienzo-san?"
His mouth is dry. "They aren't real…"
"But does that matter to you?"
The images of all his friends fill his head and he finds it hard to breathe. All of SEES, afraid of their own mortality as they fretted over the answer he had to choose. Everyone from Gekkou High, with their problems, with their own hopes and dreams of a life that they thought truly existed. The people outside of the school, who lived with seemingly normal lives with subsequent tragic circumstance. Well, for the most part.
"They do matter to me," Ienzo says quietly. "But if what you're saying is true, then the Fall really is inevitable. It's my awakening." He stares evenly at Ryoji. The pale teen looks away and nods. Ienzo leans back in his chair and looks out his window. The barren tree limbs from the tree outside of the dorm sways stiffly in the wind.
"So they all really will die, regardless what I do."
"They can have a death free of the pain of knowing it's coming," Ryoji supplies softly. "If you kill me, they will forget everything, and so will you. You can live a normal life up to the Fall, and awaken without-"
"No." Ienzo doesn't hesitate. Ryoji blinks at him in surprise.
"If they forget everything…then they will forget why we are friends in the first place." He manages a curled smile, filled with bitterness. "As pathetic as it sounds, I don't think I can handle losing what I have now, Ryoji. This is as close as I have ever been to a real life. I would like to finish it on my own terms."
It is silent for a long while in his room.
"I understand," Ryoji says with a faint smile. "Shall we return to your friends?"
His form shifts back, this time without him even focusing. Ienzo does not dwell on it, instead leading the way back down to the lobby with an alive Ryoji in tow.
The month flies by so quickly that Ienzo isn't certain it even happened at all. Scaling the final floors of Tartarus, sealing what few friendships he could, and living a life he had become accustomed to, made the taste of nearing the end far more bitter than he preferred.
Still, Ienzo is very glad he decided this path. Even knowing the end is inevitable for his friends; he can't help but feel glad to have known them, even if they all were products of his imagination.
This life, with its destined tragic ending, is still better than the life he is aware of now, outside of his dream. Ienzo feels his smile fade when he thinks of it. He is no hero out in that world, no noble figure who made any positive lasting connections to those around him. He is a coward, a pathetic man who uses and manipulates those around him with clever schemes and quick wit.
Ienzo is very certain he would kick his own ass for even thinking of something so despicable at this point.
The idea of using anybody for malicious personal gain makes his skin itch after meeting a few people in his dream-life that did exactly that. It's as if his own heart is berating every wrong he has done in his life using the dream-world, with the biggest injury being the undeniable truth of the coming awakening.
He drops his head onto his desk as stares at the wood grain through his veil of hair. He isn't ready for tomorrow. He isn't ready for this to be over already.
The Lexicon sits in front of him, laying open for him to view. Decorating each page are pictures and names. The largest picture in the center is a group photograph of SEES, when it was still whole. Ienzo glances at the pictures once more, drinking in every little scrap of information he can.
There is one more thing that he is secretly terrified of, but unfortunately Ryoji isn't around to ask.
Ryoji isn't Ryoji anymore, and he is done with explaining anything to him except the coming of Nyx. Ienzo feels strong foreboding at hearing the name once more. The death of the world is coming, of the dream-world, and all those who dwell within it.
The coming of Nyx. The coming of night. The coming of his own awakening. How terribly ironic.
The fires in the eyes of his comrades startle Ienzo. While he is silently anguishing the end, they fight what is supposed to be undefeatable, with unprecedented amounts of courage and valor. He feels inspired seeing their desire to live on in their world, despite their hopeless ignorance at what the nature of their world is.
His hand clenches around the hilt of his sword as something swells in his chest. He wants them to live on; a desire burns strongly within him.
Ienzo looks upon the face of the arrogantly smiling Nyx Avatar. Determination sweeps over him in a wave.
This is his dream. He should have a say in how it ends, not Ryoji.
Igor tents his fingers and offers an oily smile, his veiny eyes shining with what Ienzo thinks is pride. "You certainly have been very busy. So many voices I hear, calling for you. It seems you have successfully managed to gain every piece. Such a remarkable achievement."
He hands him a card. On it looks like a galaxy, covered in stars and lights that changes color when he tilts it. Ienzo feels a little confused.
"Now this is the final step. You have fulfilled your contract to its fullest, a commendable effort through and through." Igor leans back in his seat. "It has been a pleasure meeting you, our most honored guest. But," Igor's smile stretches slightly. "If you find yourself in a position to return to us, I am afraid assisting you a second time would be most difficult."
Ienzo can feel every fiber of his being crying out, begging to be silenced, but his will alone is helping him survive the onslaught the core of Nyx is barraging him with. His image keeps flickering as he tries to stand, though this time the scenery around him does too.
The dark and cold walls of Nyx flicker to nearly transparent shards of what appear to be glass. Each piece is cracked beyond measure, all cracks leading to where the core of Nyx had once been. Instead, Ienzo can see a raging ball of light and dark hues fluxuating wildly, with energy practically radiating from it.
The scene flickers back and it is Nyx once more. The card in Ienzo's hand grows hot and the scene changes once more to the shattered glass room.
He feels the power in the card and raises it. From the sheet bursts an explosion of energy, washing the glass room in a glow of yellow energy. The cracks slowly congeal into one another, and the raging tempest of light and dark in the center calms into a balanced ball of white light and dark abyss.
Ienzo sees the room is shaped like a heart, and similarly within his chest, Ienzo feels a sudden warmth and calm he is sure he has never felt before.
The scene abruptly flickers back to Nyx and Ienzo jolts as a stunningly white light blinds him.
He's sure he can't breathe. The arms wrapped around him are squeezing him far too tight.
"I'm still here?" Ienzo is appropriately surprised. He was so certain after sealing Nyx (his heart? He honestly wasn't sure anymore) he would awaken like Ryoji had promised. Why didn't it happen? He feels a hand swat the back of his head and he flinches.
"You idiot! Never do something so-..so!" Yukari sounds like she's on the verge of crying and laughing at once. "Why are you so noble, huh?"
Ienzo's eyes drop to the starry floor. "I'm not noble."
Another hand swats the back of his head. This time he shoves everyone off. Junpei is shaking his head at him, Akihiko is frowning, Mitsuru maintains a simmering expression, and Aigis looks as if she's going to hit him again. Ken is trying to stop her, as is Koromaru.
"Dude, you almost sacrificed yourself to stop that thing! If that isn't noble, I don't know what could be!" Junpei smiles widely. "Stop the humble act and feel good; we saved the world!"
Ienzo hums and looks up at the sky. The green tinge is slowly fading. He manages a smile. "I guess we did."
He's just so tired.
He thought after defeating Nyx that he would wake in his old life. To live on here is somewhat of a shock to him. The days pass, but lately Ienzo feels completely drained. It takes him longer to get out of bed. Walking is a chore to him. His legs drag and his eyes droop. Sometimes it feels like the weight of the world is on his shoulders.
He's sitting on the roof with Aigis, at the place everyone promised they would be on Graduation Day. Nobody else is there. Ienzo wonders if anyone remembers still. After Nyx, it seems like most of them forgot nearly everything. It was depressing at first, but Ienzo slowly adapted to it.
Just as he adapted to living on in this 'supposed' dream world. Did Ryoji lie to him? Was everything some massive pent-up hallucination caused by too many hours trudging through Tartarus? He hasn't been able to shift his form since the Nyx incident, and the Lexicon had vanished.
Maybe it all wasn't real. Maybe this was reality after all. Ienzo was fine with that; he liked this reality much better anyway. At least people liked him here.
Aigis looks awfully sad. She's smiling, but…why did it look like she was on the verge of crying?
Ienzo doesn't know why. All he knows is that he feels warm and numb from lying atop the roof of his high school, listening to the rustling of the air and the chirping of birds. Aigis' voice is smooth and controlled as always.
"They'll be here soon. But you look so tired. Why don't you close your eyes?" She smiles, again with that heartbreakingly sad smile. "I'll always be here to protect you."
Ienzo stays silent, musing over what she said as his eyes drift to look up at the blue sky. His exhaustion is nearly paramount, even willing to keep his eyes open isn't working. He expects the world to fade to black as he begins to fall asleep.
Instead, the world bathes in white light as everything fades around him.
In the wastes of Radiant Garden, a world which once had been the epicenter for Darkness, and even had become the source of the universe's plague, a figure slowly stirs. He was surrounded by high cliffs colored in deep blue dirt, the gravel beneath him crackling and grinding in protest as his weight shifted.
Ienzo opens his eyes in a jolt. He stares up at the sky above him, which was painted in an array of color ranging from the brightest orange to the darkest hue of purple. A frown slowly frames on his face as he sits up, glancing about in confusion.
"Aigis-?" Ienzo starts, but chokes on his words. The cloak was back. His voice was deeper. A familiar veil of hair covered half of his face. "Oh no…"
The Cloaked Schemer stands abruptly in a panic, gazing about with progressive agony. This couldn't be, this, it wasn't fair…
"No. No-no-nononono-NO!" Ienzo shouts, his fingers wretchedly grasping his hair. His shout echoes hollowly through the blue canyons, the lonely denial fading into silence.
The world he performed atrocities in. The world where he was alone, where there were no friends, no normalcy, no anything.
The world he had helped destroy was waiting for him.
Ienzo drops to his knees, shaking his head in disbelief as a bitter heat builds in his eyes. His memories of his past dredge up with crystal clarity, while the images of those who spent a year getting to know, a year in that world where he lived, began to grow faint. Ienzo knows what is real and what is not, his brain is telling him it.
But his heart is steadfastly refusing this reality. It hurts, worse than anything does it hurt. He has no friends here. He has no roots. He has nothing. He is nothing.
"Zexion?"
Ienzo's head bolts up in shock, his muscles tensing at once. He gasps, staring in disbelief.
The man, built as solid as a mountain with matching countenance to spare, stared down at him with a slight frown, his black cloak nearly mirroring his own. Ienzo stares.
"L-...Lexaeus?"
The man shakes his head slowly. "Not anymore." His gaze is still as stern as he remembered it. "Are you Zexion?"
"...No," he replies softly, standing from the azure dirt. "Ienzo."
The tall man is silent for a long while. Then, he turns, his gaze shifting to a town on the horizon. Ienzo looks as well, suddenly feeling very heavy and very tired.
"Good."