The One With Horatio's Intervention

Horatio: (walks in to his house one night...with his sunglasses on) Another day of posing like I'm in GQ magazine. I can't wait to do it again tomorrow. (hears a sound in front of him) No. (pulls out gun, shoots wildly...then turns on light) Oh, it's just you guys.

Alexx, Ryan and Frank are standing in front of him, Eric is bleeding to death on the floor.

Horatio: What are you guys doing in my house?

Ryan: We're here because we're concerned about you.

Horatio: (takes off his sunglasses, looks away) Whatever do you mean?

Alexx: Honey, you keep saying one liners and walking away every time we're about to investigate a crime.

Horatio: (puts hands on hips) I don't know what you're talking about.

Frank: You do it almost EVERY damn time! It's interfering with our work.

Ryan: That's why we're staging this intervention.

Horatio: (melodramatically) Intervention?

Alexx: Yes, we want you stop using your glasses as a cover for something painful.

Horatio: More painful than you talking to dead bodies?

Alexx: Frank, I'll need to use your gun.

Frank: Horatio, we need you to admit that you have a problem.

Horatio: I don't have a problem.

Ryan: We knew you would say that. That's why one of us wrote how your one liners has affected us for the worst. (looks at Eric) How about it, Eric?

Eric: ...

Ryan: Oh, that's right. You're dead.

Alexx: The point is that you're not doing anything. That's why we had to interrupt you in the middle of your one liners and, at one point, Ryan had to take away your sunglasses.

Horatio: I'm a man of principle. I am the law.

Frank: If you are the law, than you must follow it, right?

Horatio: (looks down at ground) That's right.

Frank: And as part of the rules, you'll have to be a part of this intervention.

Horatio: Fine. (shoots Frank to death)

Alexx: Horatio! What the HELL?!

Horatio: I am the law. (shoots Alexx to death)

Ryan: I thought you were the law! I thought you followed the rules!

Horatio: I DO follow the rules. (shoots Ryan) But it looks like the rules...(puts on sunglasses)...just got screwed.

YEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!