Wherever Tony Stark goes, the light goes with him.
This sentence is not meant in a sentimental way. It is a literal observation.
There's an eerie, strange, almost unearthly strange glow that follows him everywhere, never fading, never going out. Its a light that's keeping him alive.
Its a lights that Steve Rogers couldn't live without.
They say opposites attract, but Tony and Steve aren't really opposites. More like two sides of the same coin.
Behind Tony's bravado, his carelessness and his roguishness, he's weak. He's damaged and whats more, he knows. He hides behind a mask of indifference that has taken years of tears and suicide notes to perfect. He knows his weak spots and he avoids them at all costs.
And yet, there are things that even he doesn't know about himself. He might be able to keep it together in front of his peers, but there are things he can't hide.
He can't hide the twitch of his eyelids when he sleeps and dreams about the things he wishes he'd never seen. He can't hide the tears he cries into a bottle of scotch every year on the anniversary of his fathers death. He can't hide the harsh blue glow of the thing on his chest.
He can't hide from himself.
And then, there is Steve. The man his father never shut up about, the man who is so full of patriotism and righteousness Tony wants to laugh or be sick.
The man who sees him for exactly what he is.
Tony tries, he tries so hard to hate Steve, to loath him, to despise him. But, dammit the man can see right through him as if he were paper thin.
Tony isn't paper thin. He has layers, layers of hurt, layers of scars, layers of other peoples disappointment.
And Steve knows.
Which is completely unfair because Tony is Tony fucking Stark and he gets his own way and stupid star spanged tight pants will not stop him from hiding away under his mask.
But the truth is, Tony likes Steve. He sees something in him, something that isn't quite as good and righteous as the rest of him. Something familiar. Something that Tony sees in himself.
Steve has scars. You can't see them at first, but they are there.
Paranoia.
Mistrust.
Anxiety.
Hurt.
Steve has them.
Tony has them.
They deal with it by locking it away deep inside.
Well, they try.
Tony doesn't hate Steve.
He does't quite like him either.
It's a kind of acceptance. Steve is there. Tony will put up with him.
They will share their pain.
And after a while, Tony knows there will never been any one else for him but Steve.
And when Steve kisses him, he decides that he can put up with this, for a while at least.
He can share his pain.
He can help Steve share his.
He can let Steve into his light.
For a while, at least.