Hello, everybody. Uhmm...it's been ages since I last logged into this site, it feels nostalgic, really ^^"
this is my first fanfic in Ao no Exorcist fandom, and I'm still struggling to have a solid grasp on the characters. English is not my native language, so there might be some mistakes here and there, but I'll be glad if you'd be kind to point them to me.
So, please enjoy :)
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The Right Place to Be
by Summer Memory
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If the bullet previously lodged in his stomach hadn't been enough to stop Rin's heartbeat, the sight of his younger twin pointing a gun to his own head surely did it.
He froze for a moment, his mind was going miles per minute. The image of Shiro stab his own heart back in the Monastery flashed before his eyes and he swore to himself that he was never going to let it happen again, not to Yukio, never to Yukio. He wasn't going to lose anyone dear to him again.
It had taken almost all of his willpower and the strength left for him to get back on his feet and landed a fist on Yukio's jaw.
"What the fuck is wrong with you, Yukio?" he lashed out, voice hoarse. It had always been one thing he became good at doing, masking his fear and panic with anger and violence. And if he felt tears prickle at the corner of his eyes, he pretended not to notice it.
Like hell he was letting Satan take another one people he cherished, not that he had that many to begin with.
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Rin stood amongst the ruin that was once the buildings of the True Cross and took into the damage had done. It would surely take a hell of workload to rebuilt this school again, not mentioned the city itself, and he was wondering if the school would be dismissed during its renovation. Not that it was an appropriate time to think about it, though. There were lots of things that need more concern.
His ears perked up at the sound of someone approaching and he turned his head to see Yukio limply walking up to him. His younger twin was so badly injured and although Shiemi perhaps had done something as a first-aid, still Rin opened his mouth to shoo him off to the medics. But Yukio beat him to it.
"It's over, ne?" Yukio said when he stood side by side with him. He was avoiding making eye contact with Rin.
Rin blinked and shrugged half-heartedly. This whole ordeal wasn't going to end before the beat the Satan himself, but he didn't have the heart to tell Yukio that. Not now. His younger twin had already suffered this much damage already.
"I'm sorry, Nii-san.." Yukio managed to say before his legs gave up beneath him and Rin was quick to held him by his waist just enough to support their weights. Yukio's body shook visibly, and he knew that it wasn't because of the cold, after all the blue flame was still soaring high all around them.
"I told you it's not your fa-!"
"I'm sorry, Nii-chan." the Middle-Class exorcist repeated softly, his words slurring altogether, before losing conciousness.
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Yukio finally woke up after almost a week of comatose, and from the moment he opened his eyes, he had been apologizing profusely to Rin. For what, the bearer of Satan's blood didn't really understand, it wasn't Yukio's fault afterall. However it utterly pissed him off seeing the usually calm and composed younger brother an emotional wreck like that.
It was only the strict scrutiny of the nurse that prevented him from hitting Yukio, but she couldn't do anything when he began screaming at his own brother. Yukio had always pushed himself so hard, too hard that he didn't even realize the feelings of other people around him. It wasn't his fault, really; Rin wanted to say. Because if there was one supposed to apologize, it should be Rin and Rin only. True that Yukio had offered himself to the ritual. It was stupid, stupid mistake, but still, it wasn't Yukio's fault. It was Rin's fault, for not being strong enough to protect himself, to protect Yukio.
But what he managed to let out was entirely different. Words and anger are jumbled together in a fitful mix of words he didn't even understand saying, but after a good ten minutes of lashing out, Rin finally calmed down. The corner of his eyes stung and he burried his face deep into the junction of Yukio's right shoulder.
"I-I was scared, idiot." there was undeniably truth in Rin's words. "How in the hell could you pull out that stupid stunt like that. Think a little about the people you leave behind. Think about me!"
There was a sound of rustling as Yukio feebly attempted to free his hand and gently stroke his brother's head. His shoulder felt a little damp and cold, but he said none about it. It'd been a long time since he had seen his older twin cry, the last time was when their Father died months ago.
"I was scared too, Nii-san." Yukio's voice was soft and distant, as if he was drown in some far-off thoughts. "I was thinking about you, and if you're going to be alright were I to leave you behind in this world."
Rin realized that when Yukio was saying that, his eyes was fixated on somewhere so far, far away, that Rin couldn't see or understand.
Rin gritted his teeth and gripped at Yukio's upper arm so tight as if the the very second were he to release it, Yukio would just pop into thin air. And he thought, he couldn't even begin to imagine a world where Yukio wasn't there in it.
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Beside The Forbidden Temple, the blue flame went up high to the sky and Rin wonder if it could even reach the Heaven.
Behind him, Bon and his other two Arias were chanting prayers and sutras. Izumo stayed silent with her fox-spirits familiar floating close by. Shura folded her hands on his chest, pursing her lips and just for this once, looking quiet and serene. Shiemi stood beside him, but her words of comfort only fell on deaf ears, as he was trying to focus in something -
- anything but the thought of Yukio's cold, lifeless body being incinerated within those blue flame of his.
It was his fault, he shouldn't have taken his eyes off him. After all, his brother's body was still that of human. It was his fault. He was supposed to be able to protect Yukio. Why the hell, even with the Satan flames inside his body, was Rin so damn weak?
And what was he going to do now that Yukio's gone? The one and only strength pillar that had kept him going for years, for his whole life. The one who'd always believe in him, the one who'd never throw him away just like the rest of the world.
Sure, he still had his friends and Shura, if he should mention it, but the presence of a brother could never be replaced. Just like Shiro as their father.
He watched the blue flame went just as strong, and somewhere deep inside of his heart, he regretted not taking any of Yukio's personal belonging. He should have just taken his glasses or his gun or his watch, just for a remembrance. A memento.
And now all he had was only memories.
Rin could barely register that Shiemi was no longer by his side, perhaps that poor girl finally got the clue that he needed sometime alone. To think. To mourn.
He 'tch'ed bitterly and raised his head to the dark night sky, whispering to himself, 'A world where you're not in it, what kind of world would that be?'
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"Ne, nii-chan...I wonder if we both are going to go to hell." Yukio began, still not taking off his eyes from a book he was reading. The question popped up suddenly when they were riding a train on their way back to the true Cross after finishing a mission of annihilating some evil demon.
Yukio had insisted that they used the keys he had, but the stubborn Rin had preferred it old-fashioned way. 'let's just do a normal thing once a while.' Rin had said and Yukio gave in to that. Normalcy was something the twin no longer had luxury in experiencing, after all.
"And why is that for?" Rin asked back nonchalantly.
The smile on Yukio's face was all-knowing, and he titled his head so the reflection of the dawn was reflected on the lens of his glasses. "For just being born as we are."
Rinpursed his lips at his brother before finally looking away. "You are not going anywhere." he squeezed his little brother's hand and leaned forward, "This is the only right place for you to be, right here with me."
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"Quite a sight, ne?" Mephisto said conversationally as he propped his chin with his hands on the railing. Beside him, Shura was silent.
"There's no helping it." she finally said, running an hand to her now cropped up fiery hair. "It is his own decision afterall. That he'd rather be doing this than losing control of his flames, now that his keeper's not here anymore."
A small smile graced her plush lips as she could almost imagine a certain someone's yelling at her, "I am not Yukio's pet, you hag!"
"Hmm...maybe you're right. Besides that idiot had defeated Satan, so all's good." there was a pause, before the principal continued, "Those brats, I couldn't believe that they've grown up so much. They've taken up to Shiro, though."
"Yes. Like father, like son. They are all stupid." Shura laughed good-naturedly before turning around and stretched, cat-like. "Nah, I'm going back, too bad work can't finish itself. Farewell, Mephisto."
The woman went down the stairs on the side of that spheric room, only stopping once to look at the gigantic blue crystal placed in the middle, bound by lots of chain and sealing mantras written all around.
Inside of it was a boy, a too familiar boy that she'd come to consider as his own brother. The boy's expression was so calm and peaceful he might've been mistaken for sleeping, it almost hurt to look at. The once restless and energetic brat was finally now quiet and still, just like a beautiful doll frozen in time.
She wondered if he was able to meet his long-deceased twin, being sealed for eternity like that.
She felt the edges of her eyes burn, and she wiped it quickly, it wasn't really like her to get all sentimental, it's been years, after all. The Knight threw a long last glance before finally exiting the room.
"And farewell to you too, Rin."
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The scene in italics (second last paragraph) might have two meanings, but I'll leave it at your personal interpretation ^^
Thank you for reading, and please tell me what you think about this story. There's nothing that could make me happier! :D