Hi I'm Christopher T. Miller. This is my first fic so please submit
reviews; all comments are welcome. This is my own version of Season 9 for
the Red Dwarf Crew. My friend whose penname is Queeg helped me.
Spoilers for ". . . Only the Good" and "Rimmerworld"
All characters belong to Rob Grant and Doug Naylor who, so far, have brought me over 100 hours of priceless entertainment.
MIRROR, MIRROR
By
Christopher T. Miller
And
Queeg
Chapter 1
"The Great Escape"
It is a cold winter's day a top a snow-covered mountain on a distant planet that resembles earth. At the top summit a small tent sits. The tent rocks up and down from the pleasure that two lovers inside are enjoying. A woman emerges with a most satisfied look and says, "Oh Ace! That was wonderful."
"Indeed it was Old chum, now how 'bout you go smoke me up some kippers. After all, it's time for breakfast," replied Ace Rimmer who was happy to be done with the twelve-hour session in bed.
All of a sudden helicopters began to circle above the peak where the two lovebirds came for serenity. They were enemy choppers; Ace recognized them right away. He knew that there was trouble on the way. He didn't mind he just wished he had time for the kippers before trouble came.
"Looks Like I gotta blow on outta hear," Ace said sorrowfully
The beautiful lady grabbed Rimmer and looked deep into his eyes as if looking right into the inner depths of his soul and asked, "Will I ever see you again Ace?"
"I guarantee it," he replied as he looked towards the sky. The women embraces Ace and gives him the kiss of his lifetime
"Goodbye Ace, and good luck!" The princess began to cry. She couldn't bear to have her precious Ace taken away from her.
"Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast!" Ace screamed as he took off his watch. He searched for the button that would execute the proper action. He found it. Ace pressed the button and the watch transformed into a pair of skis.
Just as he started to ski down the mountain, bullets were fired from above and a voice yelled down, "We have you surrounded Ace Rimmer, give yourself up."
It was too late Ace was on his way down, and as always, he was doing it in style. As he went over huge ridge there was a massive explosion right behind him and he said to himself, "My god! I'm better than James Bond."
He arrived in perfect form at the base of the mountain. It looked as if he wasn't tired at all. He found more trouble waiting for him, however. At the base of the mountain was a whole platoon of soldiers anxiously waiting to end the life of the one they knew as "Ace Rimmer." Leading this platoon was a general with a thick German accent who hissed, "Now are you convinced that we have you surrounded Mr. Rimmer?"
"I'd say I'm in a bit of a pickle, aren't I?" Ace called back.
"Shut up." The man pulled a pistol from the holster at his waist. The man let off a warning shot that happened to go right for our hero's foot.
Ace appeared to be unhurt, but he looked shocked as he gazed down at his foot and said, "These are my only pair of ski boots damn it!"
The general laughed wickedly at Ace. He flashed an evil snare and said, "This is the day I've been waiting for." The general paused for a second and gave Ace the evil eye, "I hope you enjoy your death Mr. Rimmer."
"Sadly, I already am dead old friend. I'm a hard light hologram, or had you forgotten?"
The general looked quite confused and stammered, "I hadn't forgotten, you never told me that before"
Ace looked a little embarrassed as he managed to announce, "Right. Well then, I would like to take this opportunity to announce that I am a hard light hologram."
"I don't believe you," commented the German man. He grabbed his gun once again and began to shoot at Ace. The bullets hit him, but Ace went unharmed thanks to his hard light drive.
"Blast!" interjected the upset general.
Ace Rimmer took off his skis and found another trusty button right on the back. He pushed the button and the skis transformed into a jet booster. Ace Rimmer strapped it on, and he took of into the blue winter sky. After he was about ten feet off the ground he looked down at the general and said, "It's cold outside," he threw down his golden jacket to reveal he was wearing another one underneath, "You'll be needing that."
As Ace flew away he marked the sky with his slogan "Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast"
The general was dumbfounded. All he could do was stand there and watch his nemesis escape. The only words he could mutter were "What a guy!"
Opening Theme
Next Chapter: "Running From Death"
Spoilers for ". . . Only the Good" and "Rimmerworld"
All characters belong to Rob Grant and Doug Naylor who, so far, have brought me over 100 hours of priceless entertainment.
MIRROR, MIRROR
By
Christopher T. Miller
And
Queeg
Chapter 1
"The Great Escape"
It is a cold winter's day a top a snow-covered mountain on a distant planet that resembles earth. At the top summit a small tent sits. The tent rocks up and down from the pleasure that two lovers inside are enjoying. A woman emerges with a most satisfied look and says, "Oh Ace! That was wonderful."
"Indeed it was Old chum, now how 'bout you go smoke me up some kippers. After all, it's time for breakfast," replied Ace Rimmer who was happy to be done with the twelve-hour session in bed.
All of a sudden helicopters began to circle above the peak where the two lovebirds came for serenity. They were enemy choppers; Ace recognized them right away. He knew that there was trouble on the way. He didn't mind he just wished he had time for the kippers before trouble came.
"Looks Like I gotta blow on outta hear," Ace said sorrowfully
The beautiful lady grabbed Rimmer and looked deep into his eyes as if looking right into the inner depths of his soul and asked, "Will I ever see you again Ace?"
"I guarantee it," he replied as he looked towards the sky. The women embraces Ace and gives him the kiss of his lifetime
"Goodbye Ace, and good luck!" The princess began to cry. She couldn't bear to have her precious Ace taken away from her.
"Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast!" Ace screamed as he took off his watch. He searched for the button that would execute the proper action. He found it. Ace pressed the button and the watch transformed into a pair of skis.
Just as he started to ski down the mountain, bullets were fired from above and a voice yelled down, "We have you surrounded Ace Rimmer, give yourself up."
It was too late Ace was on his way down, and as always, he was doing it in style. As he went over huge ridge there was a massive explosion right behind him and he said to himself, "My god! I'm better than James Bond."
He arrived in perfect form at the base of the mountain. It looked as if he wasn't tired at all. He found more trouble waiting for him, however. At the base of the mountain was a whole platoon of soldiers anxiously waiting to end the life of the one they knew as "Ace Rimmer." Leading this platoon was a general with a thick German accent who hissed, "Now are you convinced that we have you surrounded Mr. Rimmer?"
"I'd say I'm in a bit of a pickle, aren't I?" Ace called back.
"Shut up." The man pulled a pistol from the holster at his waist. The man let off a warning shot that happened to go right for our hero's foot.
Ace appeared to be unhurt, but he looked shocked as he gazed down at his foot and said, "These are my only pair of ski boots damn it!"
The general laughed wickedly at Ace. He flashed an evil snare and said, "This is the day I've been waiting for." The general paused for a second and gave Ace the evil eye, "I hope you enjoy your death Mr. Rimmer."
"Sadly, I already am dead old friend. I'm a hard light hologram, or had you forgotten?"
The general looked quite confused and stammered, "I hadn't forgotten, you never told me that before"
Ace looked a little embarrassed as he managed to announce, "Right. Well then, I would like to take this opportunity to announce that I am a hard light hologram."
"I don't believe you," commented the German man. He grabbed his gun once again and began to shoot at Ace. The bullets hit him, but Ace went unharmed thanks to his hard light drive.
"Blast!" interjected the upset general.
Ace Rimmer took off his skis and found another trusty button right on the back. He pushed the button and the skis transformed into a jet booster. Ace Rimmer strapped it on, and he took of into the blue winter sky. After he was about ten feet off the ground he looked down at the general and said, "It's cold outside," he threw down his golden jacket to reveal he was wearing another one underneath, "You'll be needing that."
As Ace flew away he marked the sky with his slogan "Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast"
The general was dumbfounded. All he could do was stand there and watch his nemesis escape. The only words he could mutter were "What a guy!"
Opening Theme
Next Chapter: "Running From Death"