Disclaimer: I dun' own a thing(:

Memories and memories.

They were startling me, the way they were starting to blend into my reality.

I was in such a rush, that the first step outside, the blast of cold air hit me mercilessly. A single shiver shooting down my spine and rippled goose bumps throughout my body, soothing my flushed skin.

It was a comforting relief from the suffocating heat from inside the house, so I wasn't going to complain. Making sure to not enjoy the weather for too long, I sighed, hurrying and avoiding eye contact with other people who were trying to enter the booming house overlooking the street.

I had looked up, only for a second, before I noticed how dark it had gotten. The sun set a long while ago, and the darkness had been a slight comfort as I made my way on the empty street. With the glow of the tall lamps above me, the air biting gently against my skin allowed the prickling heat was fading away.

Thankfully.

I was recovering…

It was such an outburst, she didn't even mean to lose her head like that, but when she started, she couldn't help it. She needed to get it out of her system. The moment had come perfectly, and her eyes blurred enough to blindly rage onto this scenario.

She had walked in and…

And then what?

Was I really so angry, that I couldn't even remember the violent anger I had practically vomited all over the place.

She knew she was going to pay for this, she expected that much, but for right now…

Focus on anything but the way people around her were staring at her.

"It's what I do! I jump in at all the right times and save you and your clumsy ass… I'm pretty amazing."

"I guess in this case, it's climb, and save my clumsy ass, right?"

He raised a brow, playfully allowing a smirk tugging on the corner of his mouth, "In this case… yes."

"This is the second time I've been stuck in a tree…"

"But I love it up here… so it's okay? Just us two, it's easy to breathe."

"But Cloud… this is the second time being stuck up here… I mean can you believe this? It's so embarrassing… I almost stayed quiet and let you walk right past, but I was definitely too scared."

He laughed lightly, leaning in, completely oblivious to his scent wafting over and intoxicating me into some kind of trance. Something in my stomach was fluttering, more than just the heights, but something sweeter and he was sitting right next to me.

"Well, I don't care. You can be stuck up here a million times, because I'd rescue you and a million and one."

"Just a million and one?" Cloud's face taunted me with play annoyance.

"Not going to lie, but this was a hassle to climb… so yes, a million and one."

I scrunched my nose up in disbelief, but then smiled when he pouted, "I'm joking! You really are my hero."

"I said that from the beginning!"

"Where are you going!"

I attempted to stomp quietly, hoping maybe it wasn't him who'd just slammed the front door behind me, and whoever it had been, they wouldn't have seen me. It was stupid though, because he'd called to me.

Whatever.

He could have called to me, a million times…

That thought trailed itself off and there it was again, the flicker in my ribcage that hurt, I mentally slapped myself for using that line anyway. The memories were to easy and I was beginning to feel frustrated all over again.

I should've known better.

"Tifa!"

I was careful not to turn around or sneak a glance, because I knew the moment I did, I would stop right in my tracks.

"Don't follow me."

"Fine," was all I heard before I slammed right into a familiar build, towering over me, meeting the familiar eyes of blue oceans that had always easily swallowed me whole. That was his thing, to easily sidestep in front of me so he wouldn't need to 'follow'.

I had no idea how he got from the door to cutting me off, in a blink of an eye, but I hadn't meant to slam right into him. He was a wall. I was lucky I didn't fall backwards. That would've been an all too familiar scene, almost exact to our first meeting.

Something about the memory tugging me back into the past made me sad.

I had forgotten what it was like to hear him call me the way he did, since it was so long ago… but I could tell, just by my reaction, I had missed it.

"Will you slow down for a second…"

"Cloud, please, can we just not do this right now..."

"Not right now… right. I want to do this right."

Another overwhelming flood of pain washed over me, making it almost impossible to look him in the eyes.

Here we were again.

Like some corny ass cliché chick flick.

The same situation, it always came down to this and if I was stupid… fine. I didn't care. He could think I was the dumbest thing in the world. Because I didn't care.

I was done a long time ago.

"Neighbor boy… it sounds corny and I won't lie, he fits the description."

"Wow, sounds like some sort of cheap chick flick… 'sexy neighbor boy' and 'flirty girl next door', have you guys like accidentally spied on each other changing through the windows yet?"

Tifa inwardly flushed at the thought of Cloud undressing, "NO."

"Sorry, sorry! I forget you're only 12… oh wait you're not! You're 17 and still flushing at the thought of this dude naked… where did I go wrong with you?"

"Shut up Yuffie! Things are great without that aspect of a relationship… we fight, but I love it-"

"-You're into that kind of thing?"

"Yuffie."

"Sorry, continue…"

"Like I said, we fight, but I love it because it just reminds me of everything I love about him… he says all the right things, I wake up to his text and sleep to his voice, I see him every other day and we're always laughing and doing stupid stuff together. It's so refreshing."

"When you guys do stupid stuff together… do you guys use a stupid condom?"

"…"

"I'm joking! So what's the problem? Everything sounds too perfect… it's kind of nauseating."

"You've definitely been spending a lot of time Vincent. Since when did my love life become nauseating?" I pouted and she proceeded to pat my head like a dog, rolling her eyes.

"Sorry, but what's the problem?"

"He's SOLDIER.. he got the letter last week."

"And… you got the letter from AVALANCHE?"

"Yeah, but we make it work…"

"Cute, I never saw you as a long distance relationship… it's cute."

"Don't humor me Yuffie."

"I'm really trying not to… but both schools are like a million miles away, how will it work?"

"We can make it work," Yuffie's eyes were hinting disbelief, and I could feel my heart constrict despite myself, "It won't hurt to try."

"It will if you don't know what you're getting yourself into…"

"You can talk, but I'm uninterested in whatever you have to say… I am telling you now."

"Bullshit."

"Don't 'bullshit' me Cloud."

I knew that line too well, it was like reliving my senior year with him all over again.

"what's this crap about Reno coming to your dorm last night?"

"Relax Cloud, it was nothing."

"Bullshit, it was nothing. He made me look like an idiot because you didn't even tell me."

"We're not dating…" I didn't mean to let it slip, but when I said it, I realized how true it was. This whole time they'd been playing lovey dovey crap, but they weren't even together… and it never made more sense until now to call him out.

"So he was with you last night then?"

Truth was, he did come by.

But only to drop off my forgotten cardigan, I forgot that morning from class.

"If he was… it wouldn't be any of your business. Just like if Aerith and you had a study date last week, it wasn't any of mine."

That was definitely none of her business.

The way she had come in to return a book and then the two canoodlers on the couch, her flipping her hair over her shoulder like some kind trashy bimbo.

Granted… she worked at the school's flower shop, and she went to church like, every Sunday… but she was all over Cloud when she knew I was with him. So therefore, she was… at least mean.

"Bullshit."

"That's what I thought."

"It wasn't a date, I'm a tutor, it's what I do. T U T O R."

Oh yeah…

"Bullshit," I inwardly smirked at my perfect imitation as he glowered. Rolling my eyes, then forcing myself to turn around and storm off in the other direction, I could hear his steps right at my heels, and then his arm pulling me back.

"Bullshit Tifa. You're walking away from me, but I know you want to work things out. I know you better than that."

"Bullshit," I mocked, before shaking my head and kept on walking.

"I am done."

It was like the moment it entered the air, the silence became sharp. Even Cloud hadn't taken another breath after those words had escaped my lips, his goofy grin evaporated as quickly as it normally would've formed.

It was more than just words, I could feel it. It was the way I had said it.

I was startled by my own voice, the pained, desperately frustrated way I had said done… and I felt myself holding tears back.

"You can't do it and I won't make you try to anymore Cloud. We avoided this for a long time, because I thought I could settle with you no matter the consequences… but I just can't be here waiting for you to make up your mind and finally hold me. I see it in your eyes. You hesitate with things that should be natural. I won't make you. I wont ask from you, because apparently it really is SO hard to choose me. I am just too damn tired. I can't wake up and feel this way anymore. You blur into my private thoughts, you are the pages of my memories, and you are becoming the only thing I'm thinking of again, and if this is going nowhere, then I have to stop myself, because the last time I didn't… I was the one who was left to wither away. I wake up, in the morning, with heart tightening because the truth is, I'm not sure you're 'into' this thing between us… today, or even tomorrow. And that's because yesterday, you still have said anything about it! You're asking me for commitment, but you have one foot in and one foot out the door. It's ruining me. People are telling me I am becoming a shell of my former self and I'm not going to say it's your fault because it really isn't. It's mine. But then it isn't. Because what is this to you? Is it temporary? I shouldn't have to question it anymore. It's been a long time, Cloud. It's been a really, really long time that we've been working on this, but it's not working… for me anymore. If this is going to be how it is, then I can't do this. I can't let you do this to me anymore. Don't do this to me."

"Tifa…"

"If the next words out of your mouth… if they aren't going to comfort me and promise me… don't bother."

His eyes had shown everything I needed to see.

I wanted to touch him…

So badly, I wanted run my fingers through his hair and inhale his scent, because it was just a faint memory right now. And it was aching how far apart we were, even though he was really, just right there.

Drained and upset, he shook his head, lowering his hands that had made an effort to reach for my arm. My heart ached for it, for the gently touch that I'd become too familiar with.

He wasn't going to do anything.

I had poured my heart to him, but he stood there staring at me with those eyes I could drown in.

"Babe, this is like the five millionth time we've seen this tree!"

"What tree…"

"Fine, five millionth time, that I have seen this tree."

"Look Teef, a little faith would be appreciated."

I rolled my eyes, plopping lightly on a sturdy rock behind me. Deeply rubbing my legs, considering the distance we'd traveled, it was a miracle that I could still stand in one piece.

"Are you tired.."

"No?" I lied, knowing he'd been looking forward to this hike for nearly a month now, which surprised me, since he's not really one to enjoy the outdoors.

I mean, to get him to picnic with me, I have to offer up some kind of wager, before he 'caves' in. Im convinced, he just waits for a chance to wager so he can walk off with a kiss or something, but he's too cute so I let everything slide.

"Why are you laughing?"

I shrugged, "Just thinking."

"OKay well, I found out we're supposed to go this way, not this way, so… lets take a left this time!" Excitedly, he launched into some kind of march, a goofy smile playing on his lips.

"Alright Captain!"

Marching, until it was almost unbearable to keep my steps coming, and I looked goofy with my rain boots scraping up the dirt from the trail under my feet.

Several more painful trudges later, we came across a beautiful clearing.

A large rickety farm was planted dead center.

"Are we lost again?"

"What- no! We're here!"

I eyed him suspiciously, only because this was definitely not Cloud's way of spending a fresh Sunday morning, and I crossed my arms, not really taking much look around anymore, "Are we going to frolic Cloud?"

It was his turn to look at me, partially confused, and then pointed to the ranch, which was colored with pretty bright paints of blues, yellows, and pinks. The ranch was larger than when I first saw, and there as hay scattered all across the ground. I couldn't help but smile, even though I was still a little confused.

"Close your eyes."

Unwillingly, I raised my both hands to my face, enjoying the fresh air surrounding me.

"If you make me milk cows, I will never forgive you Strife."

He chuckled and then all I could hear was shuffling and an extra set of footsteps, unfamiliar to me.

Then, "Okay open your eyes," Doing so, I was greeted by a large set of big blue eyes and a flurry of yellow feathers, that could only be matched by Cloud's hair, "It's a chocobo ranch, you love them right?" I didn't answer, my heart was fluttering against the inside of my ribcage, and it was causing a temporary numbing to answering his questions, "Right?"

"He's so soft," I didn't even realize that I had outstretched a hand out to run my fingers through the softest thing I have ever felt in my life. And to my surprise, he only smelled of grass, like he'd just been relaxing somewhere.

"Get on, I'll walk you and him around the clearing?"

"Really?" I knew I couldn't hide my excitement and at that moment, I could care less.

"Yeah, of course? That'd be so messed up if I was like, 'SIKE.'"

His laugh was ringing in my head, and I was literally smiling so hard that it hurt.

The look on his face, watching me carefully make myself comfortable, was something I could never erase. He was proud, I could see it, and I was happy that this had gone so well.

"is this the part where you're going to walk away?"

He bit back a groan, she could hear him mentally battling himself. It would have been amusing if they weren't in this position they were in.

If.

How many times had she heard that word?

It was taking over her life.

My fingers itched to intertwine with his and just hold onto him forever.

Fine, it was corny, but she didn't care.

"I can't do this."

"You walked in and literally slapped the shit out of Scarlett… and she's not my girlfriend, so don't even start."

"She called me a slut and you didn't even say anything. You stood there and watched her make a scene."

"You made a scene."

"And I needed you to be on my side. But just like every other time throughout our whole history, you never stepped up. And I don't care anymore. If this is what you're going to do, I don't care."

"Tifa-"

"I don't care about us anymore."

I didn't realize I was crying, the way the tears were spilling down my face messily and the way he was holding himself back from comforting me, told me all I could do right now was go. I needed to walk away and pull myself over because that's just how things went.

He had done this time and time again to me.

Never just stopping and staying.

And I was done and even though I was crying and I almost tripped on the empty beer bottle by the curb, I was going to go. Everything here, wasn't worth it anymore.

"Don't go Tifa."

"You have to tell me to stay Cloud. You have to tell me, you need me to stay, I will do it willingly, with no fight and no argument, but you have to show me that you want me to stay. Give me some kind of-"

"I won't ask you to stay Tifa."

More tears fell when Cloud's small smile didn't warm me up like it had done so many times.

"You need to go? Why would I stop you."

"Because you…"

"Yeah, I do and you know that I would never ask you stay back from AVALANCHE. It's me? I want you to leave this small town and grow to whatever you're going to be."

"Fine… but don't expect me to come back…."

"I won't."

I had my back turned, I'd been crying for way too long and it was clear, he wasn't going to stop me… so I just had to leave.

Go.

"You were the only person…" I shook my head angrily, turning back to him, glaring and raising a finger accusing, "You always have to make sure you're in check before someone you care about right… Well don't ask me to stay, if you won't give me something to stay for."

Attempting to take a few more steps, I couldn't even bring myself to move anymore. I was having these stupid flashes of our past and his emotionless stare was pushing me away and pulling me back.

It was like his posture had completely changed as he sprang onto me, his arms outstretched roughly pulling me in and inhaling rashly, taking a few seconds of this, "What do I do, when the only person I could ever need, needs better."

"What the-"

"You need someone, who is going places. I'm so fucked in the head, I don't even know what I'm doing anymore. I look great for the ten minutes you've seen me, but when my doors closed, I collapse onto my couch, drinking away the mistakes I've made. I've smoked myself into some kind of false reality and I won't drag you down again. I refused to ask you stay with me while my life was falling apart, and it's still coming down, and im asking you to stay, but shit… I'm just not stupid enough to go another four years without you."

His lips crashed onto mine, fevered by his suppressed anxiety.

"Then pull yourself together," I forced out, pushing him back with both my hands, "Because you saying this is different, you challenging my feelings with this- this bullshit about you being crap… is crap. Do something about it."

"I will… if you stay."

That was all he had to say?

It's been years… year since I've seen him and the scene? That bitch? The fight? Him not stepping up until I was right out of his life… Just like that, he had reminded me what exactly just happened.

And for the night, it was good enough for me.