Hello Everyone! This is the second story I've written, so I'm excited to hear from everyone. This is a story I've been wanting to write forever so hopefully everyone else we enjoy it.

I do not own Twilight. Stephenie Meyer, I bow to you :)

Preface:

Over a hundred years I've roamed this earth and in those years I have never desired the company of anyone other than the members of my family. As every other vampire can attest, as our body is frozen in time so is our temperaments and personalities. I was a 17 year old boy when I was introduced to this new world. The love I had in my life was given to my mother, my father, my military aspirations, and my education. The few romantic experiences I had were so insignificant that I can only vaguely remember such exploits. I had no desire to experience them fully.

My endeavors were mostly singular ones and I was content with that. I frequently spent time with my family but I was aware that their mates were there first priority, even the people that have taken up the role as my parents - my creator and second mother. I never begrudged them of that, and for the longest time I never gave it a second thought, but I have lately begun to feel lonely, listening to the love between my family members. Going through the same motions year after year. I find myself becoming bitter with my lot in life. I look around the cafeteria of our current high school and I find myself consumed by misery and loneliness.

Jasper looks at me, feeling the emotions that are running rampant in me. Alice also looks up seeing my plan to end the boredom and useless rut that is my life. "Please Edward don't!"

I look in her eyes and initially there is desperation, but after she sees the determination she realizes that there is nothing that can be done to change my mind. I know that there will be a discussion tonight about this, but in the end it won't matter. Tonight I will end my monotonous life, and my family will have to live without me.

At the end of the day I forgo riding with my family and instead run the long way towards my house, giving me time to think and avoiding the inevitable. I know that they will be hurt by my decision. In the end they will understand, but they will not agree with it. It pains me to know I will be causing my mother unneeded distress, but she will get over it. As will the rest of them. I suppose it's time for me to face the music, so to speak.

As I get closer to the house I hear Carlisle inside and realize Alice must have called him and told him what was happening. For him to come home early from work is not an everyday occurrence and it does not go unnoticed by anyone else in the house. Alice has not disclosed my plans to anyone but Carlisle, which left the rest of the house in a state of confusion. I owe it to them to tell them what's going on. I am now close enough to hear everyone's thoughts. Sometimes I wish that there would be nothing but silence. I wish I could enjoy the company of someone without having to deal with their thoughts, which are usually centered about their needs and wants. I sound like a pessimistic old man, but can you blame me. After years of hearing the same dribble I find that the mystery of human thought and behavior becomes rather dull and uninspiring.

"Edward, if you can hear me please don't do this. We can find another way to help you. There must be another way…" - Alice

"How could I let this happen? How could I not see how miserable he has been? He has always been a serious young man, but how could I have missed all the warning signs?" - Carlisle.

I knew that Carlisle would blame himself, but the anger that I held for him has long since faded away. I have grown to accept and appreciate the gift of immortality, even if my feelings have been rather dark as of late.

"What is with all the fuss! This must have something do with Edward. Why must he be such a drama queen!" - Rosalie

That was not surprising.

"Jeez, it's like someone dies or something. I wish they wouldn't keep these secrets all the time. Just tell everyone and we'll figure it out" - Emmett

I always appreciated Emmett's happy go lucky attitude, but I'm doubtful that there is anything he or anyone can do to help me.

"Is there some danger to us? Why hasn't Alice told me what's wrong" - Jasper

Everyone always hates when Alice and I have our private conversations, especially Jasper. He feels hurt that Alice does not tell him everything that we discover. In some ways he is jealous of me, but at the end of the day he knows that there is nothing he needs to be worried about. If only he knew that at times I was jealous of him and the rest of our family.

I walk through the doorway and all activity simultaneously stops. Carlisle stares at me with such sadness that I can barely take it. It shakes me so much that I don't have the courage to look anyone else in the eye. I sit on the couch and wait for someone to speak. I'm so guilty for what I'm about to say I don't have the courage to start the conversation myself.

"Edward, why?" I wish Carlisle could understand and realize that at the end of the day this will be better for everyone.

I look up, still not looking anyone in the eye and say the words that no one wants to tell their loved ones.

"I'm not happy. I haven't been for awhile now. When I was changed I thought that I would never be anything than what I was at the time. A teenage boy that wished for a life full of experiences that some could only dream of. I have done so much in my years on earth. I have met so many wonderful people". As I look around the room I see shock, and fear of what I have to say next.

"But there are things that have changed. Things that can not be undone. I live in a family surrounded my love and as lucky as I am, I am lonely. I realize that no matter how much you all care for me, I know that I will always be second to the most important people in your lives. I don't say this to make you feel guilty, it's just the facts of mated couples. I live with this, coupled with the rut I now find myself in and the constant thoughts of others, I don't think I can go on. I can't live like this anymore! It's time for me to leave".

I hear Esme gasp and Alice begins to cry on Jasper's shoulder. Why can't I have that? "I won't be gone forever, just for a little while. I just need to get away from it all. I'll be back soon. I promise". I walk towards the woman that has been my mother for many decades. "Please don't be upset Esme. I'll call you once a week. I'll tell you where I am, what I'm doing and how I'm doing". I hug her and I feel her clutching me with all her strength, almost as though she is trying to physically keep me there. I hug her with as much strength as I can give without hurting her and I whisper in her ear, "I love you mom!" She starts to sniffle and it kills me to hurt her. "Promise me you'll come back". I take an unnecessary breath and tell her the words she wants to hear, hoping that I'm able to follow through with what I'm saying. "I promise".