Two for one

by jenfadder

My first story, not sure how it will end but I have some ideas : Stephanie has two stalkers and both are out to payback the men in her life. She will make some decisions and changes in her life along the way. Rated M for language and some content

1. Chapter 1

Two for one

Chapter one

My name is Stephanie Plum, bond enforcement agent extraordinaire. When I was a kid, I dreamed of being Wonder Woman. Now that I am grown up, I still dream of being Wonder Woman and some days after a capture goes great I can feel my inner superhero rejoicing, but today is not going to be one of those days. It started out with the blaring sound of my alarm, and the coldest shower in history, due to a broken water heater. As blasted my hair with the dryer and thinking "why me?" I heard the Batman theme song coming from my cell phone. I thought about just ignoring it but figured Ranger would just show up if I did.

Answering with a sigh, I said "Yo."

Ranger responded with a "Babe, that's my line."

I asked him what was up, not entirely sure I actually wanted to know. "Babe, I have a job for you. Can you head to Rangeman to discuss it?"

"Sure, give me an hour" I said. And he disconnected without saying goodbye. That man needs to learn some phone manners yeesh.

An hour later, I was pulling into the underground garage at Rangeman wondering what I was in for, when my cell announced I had a new text. My 'Spidey Sense' was tingling when I opened the phone; the text was from an unfamiliar number and only had four little words, so why was I so freaked out? The message read READY TO DIE BITCH. Little black dots appeared and I felt as though I was about to suffocate, but just then Ranger appeared at my side. Ranger gently pressed my head between my knees and began stroking small circles on my back; when I calmed enough to breathe properly, I handed Ranger my phone. He looked at the text and I saw the smallest flash of emotion cross his face before his face was once again blank.

"Any idea as to who this could be from Babe?" Ranger asked.

Thinking through my recent FTA's for anyone who seemed creepy or extra dangerous I could only come up with one person, Mario Escobar. I really didn't think he was that bad, he was arrested for grand theft auto, possession and assault. His bond was usually one Ranger would have gotten but Batman happened to be "in the wind" when Mario went FTA. So, that meant Lula and I picked him up. It was pretty easy, we just used the hooker deliver routine and found out he was hungover. He thought we were playing some kinky game when we cuffed him, and as soon as the cuffs were in place, Lula stunned him. About twenty minutes from the station he started to come around, and when he realized what was going on all hell broke loose in the back seat. Mario reminded me of a rabid dog, frothing at the mouth and spouting all kinds of insults and threats before I reached back and tagged him on the leg with my stun gun.

Ranger grabbed my hand and led me to the elevator. When we reached 7 he fobbed us inside and placed his keys into the silver dish located in the entryway and I dropped my purse next to it on the table. We headed into the kitchen and sat at the breakfast bar where Ella had lunch waiting for us. Thankfully Ella loves me and had a huge chunk of lasagna on one plate and a piece of chocolate cake on another. Ranger's meal of salad with grilled chicken breast was suited to him; he gave a look of pure disgust to my chocolate cake. I inhaled my lasagna and moaned my way through the cake, Ranger discreetly adjusted his pants and his eyes had gone from a beautiful brown to a deep onyx. My nipples were uncomfortably hard and I was getting lost in his gaze, Ranger leaned across the table and brushed a curl behind my ear running his fingers down my face and cupping my cheek. Just as our lips were about to meet his phone rang, breaking the trance. With his typical greeting he answered "Yo" he exchanged a few words and disconnected the call.

"That was Tank, the guys are waiting for us on five," Ranger told me.

"Oh" was all I could manage. Ranger grabbed my hand, leaning in he placed a small kiss on my temple and whispered "Babe" in my ear, sending a jolt thought my body.

Silence fell as soon as we walked into the conference room on five. Tank, Lester, Bobby, Ram and Cal sat around the table with file folders in front of each chair. Ranger started the meeting with updates on a few accounts and I completely zoned out. After what felt like forever I heard my name being called. Looking around I saw Lester with a goofy grin on his face and Ranger was just shaking his head.

"Did you hear any of that Babe?" he asked.

Racking my brain to see if I had indeed caught anything, I just responded with a sheepish smile and a shrug.

"Only you, Babe." The meeting was mainly about a guy named Jesus Vasquez from my past has been noticed sniffing around Trenton looking for information about me. This guy is extremely dangerous and will do anything to get to me. I have a few leads but with him in town and the text you received today, I would really like you to stay at Rangeman."

I was about to hit full rhino mode and interrupt when Ranger continued. "I am not asking you to stay in the building 24/7, but I would like you to work on searches and take two guys if you leave the building. Babe, this guy is bad and I can't concentrate on finding him if I am worried about your safety. He will be after you, everyone on the street knows you belong to me and he will come for you to get to me. Please do this for me Babe."

Oh man, he brought out the big guns on me with the please. And the bond office has been slow anyways, so I would be able to pay rent and keep Rex fed if I worked at Rangeman. "Okay, I will stay and work here, but I'm not thrilled with the babysitters and I will still go after my FTAs for Vinnie. I guess Grandma Mazur will be excited to have the guys to ogle over dinner." This got groans from the guys and a fleeting look of relief with a half smile from Ranger.

"Ok, now that safety is dealt with lets go over your message from this morning" Ranger said.

I told everyone about Mario and what he had said, I also told them about the feeling I had gotten from him. With that, Ranger told Cal to run some searches on him and for Ram to get a location on him and tail him. Tank would be working with Ranger locating Jesus. Lester and Bobby were on Bombshell duty starting now. With some final instructions Ranger dismissed everyone. He strode over and lightly brushed his lips over mine, with our faces only inches apart he told me "Proud of you Babe."

"Thanks Batman." I told him and he was off to save the world. I wanted to head to my apartment and pick up Rex and pack a bag, so I grabbed Lester and we headed to the garage.

As soon as we got into the black Bronco, Lester turned to me and asked "Where to, Beautiful?"

It was about 5:30 and I needed to let my family know I would be staying at Rangeman; this is not going to be fun. My mom thinks Ranger and the Merry Men are all thugs, and Grandma Mazur just wants to see their packages.

With a sigh, I replied "I need to have dinner with my family, and then we can head to my apartment."

Lester visibly paled with the mention of dinner with my family, but he didn't say anything. We headed through the burg and pulled up to my parent's house, as if they have some kind of daughter radar my mom and grandma were waiting on the stoop when we exited the Bronco. Luckily, it looked as though my sister and her brood would not be here tonight. Walking through the door, my mom gave me a tight look and shot a glance at Lester.

I quickly jumped in "Mom have you met Lester? He works for Rangeman, Lester this is my mom Helen."

Being the proper burg wife she is, my mom smiled at Lester and told him she was pleased to meet him, ushering us to the living room where my dad was watching the Rangers game on TV.

I kissed him on the cheek and said "Hi Daddy, this is my friend and co-worker Lester, Lester this is my dad, Frank."

Lester and Daddy did the man shake and started discussing the game. It looked like they hit it off pretty quickly. I'll have to remember that my dad doesn't normally talk that much. My mom dragged me into the kitchen and started the questing.

"Stephanie, why are you here with that thug? Where is Joseph and what will he think?"

My mom thinks Joe is my last chance at a normal Burg life, too bad he is an ass and the thought of having a normal Burg life gives me hives.

"Mom, Joe and I broke up two months ago, you know that. Lester is a friend and co worker, he is helping me out tonight and I thought he would love one of your wonderful home cooked meals, he has no family in New Jersey."

That got her, she was soon playing the role of the perfect hostess getting dinner on the table. Promptly at 6:00 we were all seated at the table passing platters of food, I decided to get the news of my stalker over and spoke up

"Mom, Dad I am going to be staying at Rangeman for awhile, I have a new stalker and we thought it would be best for me to lay low until we can get him."

There was a gasp from my mom, she then crossed herself and slammed back the glass of wine in front of her.

Grandma said "Well ain't that a pip, you going to shack up with that badass bounty hunter with the great package?" Geez what is with this woman? My Grandma is a sex crazed teenager in a 75 year old body.

"No Grandma, I will be staying in an open apartment on the fourth floor." I said.

My mom looked relieved at that statement and my Grandma looked dejected. Lester was quiet during dinner, he was thankful to be seated between me and my dad out of Grandma's reach. When dinner was done I followed my mom into the kitchen to get the traditional leftovers, she made an extra bag of food for Lester.

My mom was giving me a thoughtful look then she spoke, "Stephanie, I worry about you with this crazy job you have. Myra Windowskys daughter never has stalkers."

"I am not Myra's daughter mom, I like my job and I will be safe at Rangeman."

My mom did something that totally shocked me. She grabbed me in a huge hug and with tears streaming down her face she said, "You have always been different from the other girls in the Burg. I admit your job suits you and you have made me so proud with some of the captures I have heard about, but Stephanie I worry about you. You need training will you make a deal with me?"

Wow, was that my mother? I have never in my life heard her say she was proud of me. I wonder what this deal is.

"What kind of deal Mom?"

"Well I think I would worry much less if you had proper training. I know I am hard on you and if you get trained I will stop pressuring you to get married and support your job."

Oh wow, I had no idea my mother could be like this and she is 100% right, I do need training.

"Okay mom, you are right. I do need training you have a deal. I will talk to Ranger and the guys tonight."

Lester and I headed to my apartment with our bags of leftovers in tow. He was relieved that Grandma Mazur never assaulted him and very excited over the extra food.

Once we were safely in my apartment, I started to think about what training would entail.

"Lester, can I ask you something?"

"Sure Beautiful, what do you need?" he replied.

Hmm how do I word this without him getting too much information and starting a training plan for me himself? "Ok, well... um what sort of training does a BEA normally have?"

Lester got a thoughtful look on his face and paused a moment before starting "Well Beautiful, for starters BEAs need to be in shape with a regular workout routine to keep up endurance. They also work on gun skills with several hours at the range weekly. Basic lock picking skills, computer searching, some driving and the most important is self defense training. Why you asking? Are you ready to get some training Beautiful?"

He said that last part with a grin and a wink. What am I going to do? If I tell Lester he will probably go to Ranger and they will plan a grueling routine for me. It would include eating twigs and bark, getting up in the middle of the night to go running and God knows what else. Maybe if I ask Lester to start my training with just the basics before I tell Ranger it would be easier for me to stick with it.

"Lester, I do want to start some basic training but before you get too excited and call Ranger can we talk about it?"

Taking a deep breath I continued, "I was wondering if you could start the basic parts now and let me get comfortable before Ranger finds out. As soon as he knows, he will have a huge schedule and take over everything. I know I would hate it and not want to continue," I said.

Lester started pacing and muttering to himself, so I took the time to start packing a couple bags for my stay at Rangeman. When I was finishing up with my bathroom supplies, Lester started to speak. "Okay Beautiful, I agree that if you asked Ranger he would push you, but I cannot do this myself. Would it be alright with you to include Bobby? We are already assigned to you so spending time together would not raise any suspicions and he can handle the physical training and come up with a plan that suits you and your current abilities."

That actually sounded like a good idea, Bobby is a medic so he wouldn't push me too hard and he knows I could never survive without my sugar.

"Les, that actually sounds great when can we start?" I asked with a bright smile handing Lester my duffle bags and picking up Rex.

We were both lost in thought as we headed down to the Bronco, when Lester suddenly stopped me. Slowly getting closer I sucked in a breath when I saw the reason for Lester's caution. On the hood of the Bronco was a large box beautifully wrapped in silver paper, sitting on the top of the gift in place of the traditional bow was a single dead rose. Creepy was all I could think, no one ever sends me normal gifts and I was nervous to see what the beautiful box contained.

Lester finished a call as I snapped out of my thoughts and walked over to him asking, "Who was that, did you call Ranger, do you think it's a bomb?"

Lester smirked at me and replied. "Yes that was Ranger, he and a crew will be here in 10, we need to stay back, Beautiful."

Not one to be late, Ranger pulled up 9 minutes later followed by a black SUV. Tank and Hector exited the SUV and headed straight to the box with a complicated gizmo as Ranger stalked over to Lester and me and said "Babe."

Tank walked over and gave us the all clear to open the box. I guess that means there wasn't a bomb inside, lucky me. I approached the box nervously and stared at it for a moment before Ranger gently urged me to open it. Reaching for the package with a shaky hand I peeled back the paper and squeezing my eyes closed I opened the flap. Hearing gasps and a mumbled "Shit" from Lester I slowly opened my eyes and peeked into the box, nestled on a blood soaked velvet pillow was two eyeballs staring back at me. I felt as if all the oxygen was sucked away and black dots appeared before my eyes just before the world faded to black.

When I came to, I was safely tucked between Ranger's luxurious 1000 thread count sheets. I stretched my body moaning with pleasure before sitting up and looking around.

Ranger walked in and with a hint of a smile, he asked, "How are you feeling Babe? There was more in that package you need to see."

With an eye roll that would make every Jersey Girl proud I replied "Oh, just peachy Batman. Bring on the rest I'm better now."

With that, Ranger handed me a card. On the front was a face that held the creepiest black soulless eyes I had ever seen. Just looking at the image made me break out in goose bumps and shiver, but the message written inside was enough to spook even Batman. It said, 'Eyes are watching. You will pay for what HE did.'

I looked up at Ranger and was shocked to see so much emotion on his face. Fear, anger, regret and something I couldn't decipher. What did the card mean about what HE did? And who is HE? Did Ranger do something? My stalker must be trying to get at Ranger for something from his past. That must be what all the emotions were from. With a slight shake of his head, as if he was clearing his thoughts, Ranger grabbed my hand and led me into the kitchen. Ella had already been up and there was a covered plate sitting on the breakfast bar.

Uncovering the plate I found a single Boston Crème doughnut, with a moan I said, "I love Ella."

Ranger reached over and brushed a stray curl behind my ear before telling me, "I'm heading down to 5 to check on some leads. Get some rest we will have a core meeting at 0800 to go over what everyone has found."

As soon as Ranger left, I grabbed my phone and called Lester.

"Yo" he answered.

"Hey Les, its Stephanie do you have a few minutes to talk?"

"Sure thing Beautiful, give me 10 and I'll come up."

I ran to the bedroom to change into my pajamas before Lester showed up. Just as I was throwing my hair into a messy ponytail, Lester announced himself by pounding on the door and coming in. Meeting him in the kitchen, I grabbed two beers from the fridge handing Les one as I said "Thanks for coming up, I wanted to talk to you about the training. Can we start after the meeting in the morning?"

Les sat up on the counter and slowly peeled the label from his bottle, I couldn't help but notice how handsome he is with all those bulging muscles and crooked grin. I discreetly checked for drool and had to ask him to repeat himself.

Lester laughed full on before slipping down and pulling me to him he whispered in my ear "Beautiful, you better stop looking at me like I'm a piece of cake or I will show you how much sweeter I can be."

Holy hot flash! Jumping back, I stammered "Um, about that training."

Lester grinned and winked before saying "Okay, Beautiful I spoke to Bobby and we can start tomorrow. Bobby will be with you from 0800 to 1500 hours and he plans on taking you to the private gym at my condo building. I will meet you back here at 1500 hours and we have an appointment at the range at 1600 hours."

When Lester left at 10:30, I was pretty tired after such a long day so I headed to bed. Okay so I just wanted to slip between Ranger's sinful sheets. I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew my pillow was moving and there was an alarm going off. Opening my eyes and stretching I watched Ranger turn off the alarm and head to the bathroom. As soon as I heard the shower start, I slipped out of bed and headed to the kitchen to start coffee. I tapped on Rex's cage and he scurried out of his soup can twitching his whiskers at me. I asked him how his new view was and told him about my latest stalker while giving him fresh water and dropping a grape in his cage. Just as I started to tell Rex about my training plan Ranger walked in the kitchen.

"Good morning Ranger, what time did you get in?" I asked.

Ranger fixed us each a cup of coffee and replied "I got in about 0300 hours; we received some information that needed my attention."

Seriously, would it kill him to share some details? Uhggh.

"Well, what was the information?" I asked.

"Babe, we'll go over all the information at the meeting, go get ready you have 15 minutes." Ranger said.

"Eek 15 minutes, do you have any idea what it takes to tame this mess?" I said gesturing to my hair as I headed to the bathroom.

14 minutes later I emerged freshly washed with my wet hair in a bun and about 3 swipes of mascara. I figured that was plenty of courage this morning.

"Let's go." Ranger replied as he led us out the door.

We headed down to the conference room for the morning core team meeting. Bobby and Tank called for Ranger as we stepped off the elevator.

"Ranger we got something new man, you are not going to like this," Tank said.

Ranger walked into the conference room and asked, "Where's Lester? Get him in here so we can start this meeting." Just as Bobby reached for his phone, Lester came barreling around the corner into the room yelling.

"Sorry I'm late; I just got off the phone with Carl at the PD. Looks like Morelli got a new homicide late last night that happens to be missing his eyeballs."

"Do they have an ID on the body yet?" Ranger asked.

"No, they have the lab running prints as we speak." Lester said.

Everyone took his or her seats and Ranger started the meeting by going over regular Rangeman business. He then asked Bobby to report.

"Okay, I have several informants on the street talking about both guys but so far we have nothing new to report. Cal and Ram have done several searches and have come up with an interesting piece of information; Jesus seems to be bouncing back and forth to Miami a lot." Bobby stated.

Tank swore and started flipping through the Jesus file. "Son of a bitch, this is not looking good. There was a security breech at Martine's yesterday someone tripped the gate alarm and left a dead rose on the seat of Julie's bike. Looks like this may be Jesus not Mario."

Ranger paled with this news and asked, "Why wasn't I informed of this sooner? Tank, I want the security on Julie doubled now and get a location for Jesus ASAP."

Just then, my cell phone rang interrupting the meeting, checking the display I noticed it was Lula. I shot Ranger an apologetic look and stepped out to answer my phone.

"Hi Lula, what's up?" I asked her.

"White Girl, I'm having an emergency here, where the hell are you? Milton Haggars is out to get me, I swear; he chased me through the parking lot of the train station taking shots at me. I got away and the little fucker shot out my tires and pissed in my Firebird! You gotta get your skinny white butt down here and hunt him down so I can bust a cap in his scrawny ass." Lula replied.

Oh my God, she is nuts! Milton is like 90 and a retired 'Family' member, rumors are he outfitted many people with cement shoes. I have enough crazies of my own, the last thing I need now is old Milton after me too Yikes!

"Umm Lula, I am in a meeting with Ranger and can't just leave right now. Besides, my babysitter for the day is currently in the meeting." I said

"Shit girl, you hanging with that hot Batman. What hunk you got following you today?" Lula asked.

"I have Bobby with me until 3:00 and then it will be Lester. I will meet you at the bond's office when this meeting is done." I responded

"Ok, I guess that would be alright. See you then." Lula said as she disconnected.

Well, looks like I'm going after old mobsters today, I thought as I went back into the conference room.

Ranger and the guys all looked expectantly at me, each with one eyebrow raised. How they do that is a mystery to me. On a sigh, I said, "That was Lula; she is after Milton Haggars and needs my help. I need to head to Vinnie's when we're done here."

"Milton Haggars the 90 year old mobster?" Bobby asked.

"Yep, that's the one, lucky you will be along for the ride." I said with a grin.

When Tank stopped laughing enough to speak he said "Milton is mad as a hatter, last time I seen him he had nothing but a cape on."

Great, this should be a fun day! I thought.

Ranger placed a kiss on my forehead and handed me a set of keys before saying "Babe, we're done here for now. Take my Cayenne, Bobby has the first shift with you so be careful."

"Thanks Batman, I should be back around 6:00."

"I'll catch you guys at 1500 hours." Lester called as Bobby and I headed out.

When Bobby and I reached the car, I took pity on him and tossed the keys his way.

"Thanks Steph. We headed to Vinnie's?"

"Yep, someone has to collect the crazies." I said with a smile.

"So Lester let me know you want to start training, we came up with a plan for you that shouldn't be too much." Bobby said as he pulled up to the bond's office.

"Thanks Bobby, when do we start?" I asked.

"Once we get done with Milton and have lunch with Lula, we can head over to Lester's to get started." Bobby replied.

"Sounds great," I said as we were heading inside.

Connie was painting her nails a sparkly red and Lula, in a sequined lime green mini dress, was mid rant, something about a warehouse and torturing the old caped maniac.

"Lula, we are not torturing an old man. We will escort him to the pokey to get re-bonded." I told her.

"The hell you say, I'm gonna torture that scrawny old fucker! He disrespected my baby," Lula ranted.

"He is 'family' big time; you do not want to attempt torturing him," Connie said.

"Come on ladies, we can pick up the old man and then I'll buy lunch at Cluck in the Bucket." Bobby said.

"That sounds good to me. Lula you can kick his door down and cuff him." I appeased.

"Damn skippy, I'll cuff the shit out of him; he owes me for the damage to my baby." Lula replied.

With that we headed out to round up old Mr. Haggars. He lived in a pink duplex over on South Broad.

Taking the lead, Lula stomped up the walk in her knock off Jimmy Choo's and started kicking the shit out of the door, attempting to kick it down. Bobby gently pushed her to the side and put his size 12 boot to the door, knocking it down.

"Thanks" mumbled Lula.

Bobby and I stepped to the side allowing Lula to take the lead; she stepped into the dimly lit foyer and pulled a .45 long barrel out of her purse. As we rounded the corner into the living room we saw ALL of Milton sitting on an overstuffed recliner in his cape whacking away while watching some chick taking what looked like the real Herbert Horsecock.

"Oh my god, I'm going to need hazard pay for this" Bobby said.

"There isn't enough brain bleach in the world to wipe this image away." I replied.

"Milton, you perverted old fucker I'm gonna get you." Lula said as she lunged for Milton.

Lula went flying at him and Milton let out an "OOMPH" sound as she landed on his midsection.

Milton was hitting and kicking, frantically trying to get Lula off but all he managed to do was knock the end table over breaking a lamp and sending what looked and smelled like tapioca pudding flying. Of course, the pudding hit me square on the chest with a splat, missing Bobby completely and coating my entire front in a sweet sticky mess.

Bobby shook his head, handed me a tissue box from the mess on the floor, and reached over to free Milton from underneath Lula.

Lula jumped up, cuffed Milton, and went upstairs to find him some pants.

"You got no rights here, uncuff me you assholes." Milton yelled.

There was a huge crash upstairs and then an avalanche of books, computer parts and office supplies came crashing down the stairs followed by heaps and heaps of clothing.

"Holy shit" Bobby exclaimed.

"Lula, what the hell are you doing?" I asked.

"You crazy bitch, what the hell are you doing trashing my stuff?" Milton said.

Lula reached out and stunned Milton before replying "Oh that, I was just lookin for some pants I'm sick of looking at this old fool's shriveled junk. 'Sides he trashed my baby and you said no torture."

"Well we can't argue with that logic. Now help me get some pants on him and let's get him to the station." Bobby said.

Lula handed me a pair of sweat pants and we each shoved one of Milton's legs in and roughly pulled them up and proceeded to haul him out to the Cayenne. Bobby locked up as best as he could and after securing Milton in the back seat he jumped in and headed to the station.