Stan and Kyle were perfect. Mother fucking perfect.

It sounds like I'm exaggerating but I'm not. I can't find a fault with their relationship. No one I've asked can find a fault with their relationship. They can't find a fault with their relationship. I mean they tried but it was a pitiful attempt.

"Is it always sunshine and rainbows between you two?" I asked one day at lunch when Stan and Kyle were acting like best friends rather than boyfriends.

Stan snorted. "Fuck no, do you know how hard it is to make anything for your diabetic boyfriend?" He mimed slitting his throat.

Kyle shoved the dark haired boy playfully and looked at me. "I wake up every night at two in the morning because I know Stan has to piss, even when we're not in the same house."

"Really?" Stan asked, genuinely interested.

"Yeah," Kyle huffed. "It fucking sucks."

Stan just pulled the little Jew into his lap and started playing with his hair. It was a sickeningly cute display of public affection that still made me smile.

Those weren't faults. Stan baked for his diabetic boyfriend. Kyle woke up at the same time every night because he knew Stan did. No matter how they tried to play it, it was just more proof of their perfection.

I wanted to be like that. I wanted to be able to go from total bros to faggy little boyfriends when I felt like it. I wanted to wake up in the middle of the night because I missed him. I wanted to hear whatever he was thinking all the time. But Butters and I weren't like that. We weren't perfect.

I could feel that he wasn't comfortable with me. He still twitched in my arms when I held him, instead of melting. He still had that nervous stutter with me, especially when he tried to talk me out of something. I just wanted him to trust me. I wanted him to stop being so nervous with me. If I wanted a cute, twitchy, neurotic blonde, I would've chosen Tweek, not Butters.

There were moments of perfection though. I knew things that could make him melt.

There was a moment of perfection on a balmy night after a rare muggy, overly-hot day in South Park. Butters was lying on my bed, exhausted and slightly sweaty in nothing but one of my ratty T-shirts. I knew it was too hot but I wanted to hold him. I slung my arm around his shoulders, pulling him closer.

He protested weakly, groaning. "Ken, it's too hot."

"I just wanna make sure you're safe." I told him sleepily.

I felt him freeze and then melt into me, snuggling closer. There were no more complaints.

There were perfections in Butters too, things I really loved. His eyes especially. They are this clear, crystalline blue framed by these feathery, light, almost-white eyelashes and the always tell me exactly what he's thinking. I mean, they're usually honest—he's usually honest but knowing he's absolutely earnest with me is intoxicating. His neat freak tendencies are super cute too. I love the way he frets over my room. I love the way he lets me take things from his locker or backpack or whatever because he trusts me even though he cringes when I do. I love knowing he relies on me.

I know he finds perfections in me too. He talks about them sometimes—not often, but I always stop to listen when they slip out. My smile is one of his favorites, I think because it's so often hidden. He always asks about my Mysterion days. I never expected me to be so…heroic I guess. He could even get me to put on the costume and do the voice sometimes but only if he joins me. Professor Chaos is pretty cute.

It was normal to find perfections in each other though. If I didn't like those parts of Butters I wouldn't stick around and he sure as fuck wouldn't stay with me. But they weren't what I was looking for. It didn't make us perfect, it just made us a functioning couple.

Maybe I was a little obsessive with Stan and Kyle and maybe Butters had a little more bite in him than I remembered but something absolutely set him off.

I was lying on Butters' bed with him, lazily tossing one of his plushies in the air. "You wanna do something with Stan 'n' Kyle later?"

He leapt off the bed like the words burned him. He turned to me, eyes blazing.

"Butters?" I asked slowly.

He narrowed his eyes, tears almost spilling out. "I've been a replacement before, Ken." He nearly spat. "It hurt l-like, well, like heck and I will never do it again." He tossed my jacked at me. "If you wanna be with Stan or Kyle so bad just go."

"Butters," I started softly.

"Go!" He yelled.

"Leopold," I tried again.

Hi whipped his head towards me, finally crying. "What?" He answered, his voice thick with tears.

"C'mere." I told him, patting his bed. He sat as far from me as he could. "The only one I want it you." I said as earnestly as I could.

"I've seen you lookin' at 'em, Ken." His voice was cold and sad. I hated it.

"Yeah, at them. I don't wanna—uhg, it's stupid."

I heard him tugging at his pillow angrily. "I won't think it's dumb."

I sighed. "I don't wanna be with Stan or Kyle, that'd be weird. They have each other and I love you." I stopped, trying to find a way to make this sound the least pathetic. "I've been watching them because they're perfect…because I want a relationship like that."

I though Butters was sobbing even harder for a second then I saw the smile plastered on his face and I realized he was laughing.

"Why's that funny?" I asked more indignantly than I meant.

Butters tried to calm down a bit. "How long have you known those fellas?"

I shrugged. "Since pre-school at least."

"And you still want a relationship like Stan and Kyle's?"

"Yeah, it's dumb, I know." I said quietly. "I'm just around them all the time, it's hard not to get jealous."

"You can be jealous, Ken but wantin' that's just silly."

"I'm sorry I'm being silly." I felt pouty. I couldn't believe I was being pouty.

Butters nuzzled up to me. "Sorry, Ken but you have to think about it for a second." He paused like he expected me to suddenly understand. "Look, no one can have a relationship like that 'sides those fellas, not Clyde and Craig, not Bebe and Wendy and certainly not us."

I chuckled a little. "Okay, Butters, I know those two are special but that's just retarded. They can't be like the 'chosen couple' or whatever."

Butters smiled at me. "You got 'em together, Ken, you know they're special. They've been through heck and back and they've done everything to be with each other. You watched 'em, you were a part of all of it."

"I know they're perfect, I said that but someone else can be like that too, Butters."

"Whatever, Ken," Butters sighed. "What do you want anyway?"

"I want us to be perfect." I answered simply.

Butter climbed onto my lap. "The problem is, I don't know what that means to you, Ken."

I nuzzled into his neck. "I just want you to be comfortable around me."

I felt the vibrations from his laughter. "I am comfortable with you. Did you ever notice that I never stutter when it's only you an' me?"

I kissed his neck gently. "But you do."

He ran his fingers through my hair. "Not anymore. I know I get worried sometimes 'cause you know a lot more than me but I trust you, Ken."

"You trust me enough to tell about whatever silly thing you're thinkin' about?" I asked.

"You don't really want to hear what I'm thinkin' 'bout, it's usually dumb."

"I don't care, you're thinkin' it."

He tugged my head up a bit. "Yeah, I trust you enough to tell you anything." He pulled me into a sloppy kiss.

I pulled back running my thumb across his cheek. "This might be perfect, Buttercup."

Butters pulled me down on top of him. "Eh, you could probably make it better." I saw the blush spread on cheeks, he never said anything suggestive like that.

This was definitely perfect.

A/N: Maybe when I can actually write porn that isn't awful, I'll continue this. Until then enjoy the fluff.