to think i spent time writing this instead of studying for my exams.
gosh, i'm so deep into this hell.
it's okita's swords what do you expect me to do?
these are some thoughts need writing down. don't expect it to make sense. (but it isn't trash because nothing related to Okita is trash and i refuse to be told otherwise.)
"Okita-kun is always so convinced that we swords have our heart." You don't respond, and he continues. "He thinks it's our most important thing."
"Swords don't have heart." You reply despite yourself, because why does he keeps using present tense to say about Okita-kun, who is gone without giving you the chance to say goodbye.
He brushes your face with his fingertips, as if he could turn you into something else better through mere touch (or at least, he hopes so, right?), voice so sincere and smile so gentle (it belongs to another person, an entire different people, how can he -) that you find yourself unable to believe. But it doesn't keep you from feeling like you were being picked apart, layer by layer of your fancy attitude, by his fingers and his eyes and his smile and his earnest expression - like you could turn in something golden. You don't trust him, you don't and you will never. You want to yell at him, to swat his hands but you can't move. You don't know why you can't, to be honest, maybe it's because he's looking at you with those eyes telling you to believe him, with the way the corner of his lips tugging upwards slightly, and perhaps, it has something to do with the way he presses his hands against your chest.
"Hm? There is really beating." He says. Whispers. And you don't know where he gets so close. Close enough that you can feel his breath on your cheeks, and he lowers his head -
"What?" Your voice is barely above a whisper. It's hard to say something clearly with his lips on your ear. The appropriate thing to do would be punch him in the gut, but they stay glued by your sides.
"Your heart." He answers, and kisses you.
(His kiss is like poison, you think, and you'd better push him away - and from the way he smiles to the way he talks isn't himself at all.
His kiss is like poison and you can never trust him.
Maybe if you tell yourself enough, you can believe.)
note: please enjoy your reading.
*wink* review if you can.