"Why did you run away?! Why would you leave me?! What did I do wrong?!" Yang pushed back her feelings in the dark hole in her heart, where they had been for some time already, while also fighting against the tears welling up in her eyes.
Before her stood the person she had trusted the most during her time at Beacon, second to only Ruby, but her relationship with Ruby was something totally different, something no one would ever be able to triumph. However, after everything that happened… She had trusted Blake with her deepest fears and secrets, telling her things she had never even told Ruby. She had told her about Raven, about her abandonment issues, and what did Blake do?
She ran.
She had done the one thing Yang was afraid of the most: the ones she loved more than her own life, leaving her. And now she had returned, with that look in her eyes that broke her heart all over again, old ache burning her heart to ashes, a look she couldn't say no to. What did Blake expect? That she would just throw her arms around her and take her back, as if nothing had ever happened?
Her amber eyes, her beautiful amber eyes that always seemed to look straight into her soul, seeing all her inner thoughts and feelings. Those beautiful amber eyes that always looked at her with a strange softness and understanding, a look she had taken for granted when she had access to it daily, but craved every second since she had lost it. Not that it had been her fault that she had lost it, has it?
Maybe it was her fault, as she was the one who had been too weak to protect even her own partner. Her weakness must have made Blake run, disgust and hate pushing her away from her, the one who had shone brighter than the sun, but now that her flame was gone, so was the bond between them.
"You did nothing wrong Yang, you never did anything wrong. I was the one who was wrong! I was the one who expected I could hide from my past, that Beacon was safe enough for me to use as a shelter. Because of me, you lost a part of yourself that you are never getting back, and it is all my fault!"
The memories filled Yang's mind.
Blake laying on the ground in the cafeteria, with that strange bull Faunus standing over her. The other Faunus stabbing Blake in the stomach, then everything turned red. Pure rage, as strong as she had never felt it before, took over her body, and before she knew it she was flying in the air, vision blurred by tears.
She had barely registered the smug on the face of Blake's attacker. That should have been her warning, her cue to not attack him directly, but instead to only try to get Blake out of there. However, with the rage powering her semblance, her eye colour changed to red and her hair dancing in flames behind her, she couldn't think clearly anymore.
Take your hands off of my partner!
The last thought that had filled her mind before the sound of a sword cutting through flesh, a different red now overtaking her vision. She could vaguely hear Blake screaming her name, begging her to be okay, begging the bull Faunus to leave her alone.
Must… save… Blake
The sound of Blake's sniffs brought her back to reality. Tears were finally rolling down her cheeks, her human arm shaking violently. As quickly as possible she covered it with her right arm, not wanting Blake to see the way that day still had its power over her. She couldn't afford to show any more weakness ever again.
"What was it like to leave me behind? Did it fix anything? Did you feel better?"
Yang was exhausted.
She didn't want to fight anymore, the thrill seeker deep inside of her had long ago taken its departure, and the only things left were the broken pieces of her, scattered and unfixable. Gone were the days when they had been a happy team, and gone were the days where her biggest problem was how to not show her deepest feelings to her partner.
"No, it didn't fix anything! It only made things worse, and my heart felt like it been crushed! I hated leaving you Yang, but I had to! I had to protect you, because otherwise…" Blake paused, and Yang saw her struggling with her emotions. If this had been a different time, she would have pulled Blake into a hug, telling her it would be alright. But this wasn't that kind of a time.
"Otherwise he would have gone after you, and killed you! He promised to destroy everything I love, starting with you, and I had to protect you from him, from myself!"
Yang remembered their first real training mission in Mountain Glenn, where they had all confessed their reasons for entering the academy. Blake had expressed her doubts about her future, and Yang had had her back, encouraging her to keep going. Yang had always had Blake's back, as she viewed it as her job to protect the people she loved.
Blake had always been the girl that would never back down from things that matter to her. She would fight for them, even if that meant that she would have to take damage for it. Apparently, she wasn't one of those things to Blake.
She had kept believing the whole time she spent with Blake she would be able to help her partner. The girl had been through so much that she had covered herself with shadows, lurking in the darkness, hiding away from everything that even seemed like sunlight.
Yang thought she would be able to pull Blake out of the shadows, and help her find a way to spent her life that would make her happy. It appeared that she was not included in Blake's picture of a happy life.
"I know you can't forgive me Yang, but please, never believe it was your fault, or that I left you because I wanted to." Blake suddenly added.
It sounds like a kind of joke, the girl who has abandonment issues getting partnered with the girl who always runs. Her past mistakes seemed to follow her, beating her down and leaving her breathless on the ground with another broken heart.
"How can I ever be able to forgive you when you won't even properly look me in the eye?" Yang's voice sounded sad and distant, even to herself.
"You are one to talk, Yang. You won't even say my name."
Yang's eyes widened, her skin tingling and heart beat speeding up. She had expected that Blake would throw this at her, but not in such a casual way. Not with her voice sounding like that, like she didn't even care anymore.
"I can't do this anymore. I trusted you with every fibre of my soul, and you just left. Like you didn't care about my feelings, about how I would feel when I woke up and didn't see you next to me. I thought you were dead, I thought I had failed." Yang paused, taking a minute to catch her breath.
"Then, I discovered you ran. That day, I lost my arm, but the worst thing I lost that day was you. I needed you there for me, like I had been there for you countless times before! But the one time I needed you, you left me."
Blake only stood there, silently crying. Yang wanted to reach out, to feel her body warmth again, to smell that familiar vanilla scent again, to be close to the girl again, but she couldn't.
"The moment Blake let her walls down, the one thing she was afraid of, actually happened."
The talk about Blake's disappearance with Weiss had been haunting her thoughts for some time already, and it had only become worse since Blake had returned. Whenever she looked at her, doubt filled her mind. he wanted to understand why the girl left, she wanted to forgive the girl, she wanted to be friends again, maybe even more, , but this was all just so familiar.
"What I did was wrong in many many different ways Yang, and I am so sorry. Leaving you is the worst mistake I have ever made in my whole life, and I still regret it every day. When I was gone, not a day would pass without me thinking about you. I left you while you needed me the most, and I understand that you can never forgive me for that. I can't even forgive myself."
No, it wasn't supposed to be this way. They were supposed to be good partners, who would reconcile and fix their problems together. Yang's thoughts returned to the hug she had shared with her team, including Blake, after the battle at Haven Academy. Everything had felt right again, had that been just an illusion created by the pathetic hope that was still somewhere deep inside her?
She couldn't resist the urge anymore, and stepped forward, pulling Blake into her arms. The warmth of Blake's body, the vanilla scent, Blake's soft hair tickling her skin. This was right, this was how it was supposed to be. Yang felt Blake's muscles relaxing, and her partner buried her head into her shoulder.
"People make mistakes when the people they love are hurt. You ran because you took it upon yourself that you couldn't protect me from hurting, and I understand that. But please, don't shut me out like that ever again. That hurts more than anything the bad guys could ever do to me."
Blake sniffed. "Got it. I am not going anywhere now Yang, if you would still have me."
"Of course. I will always want you here, need you here." A short pause, in which Yang prepared herself for her next words. "I forgive you, Blake."
Blake gasped, and new tears began to fall on Yang's shoulder. "Thank you Yang, thank you so much."
A short silence fell between the two of time, and the both of them just held each other, savouring the real contact they had finally managed to make again.
"I missed you, Blakey." The name still tasted weird on her tongue, as if she ate her favourite childhood dish again after a long, long time, and had to rediscover why she loved it so much again.
"I missed you too Yang. You have no idea how much."
It sounds like a kind of joke, the girl with abandonment issues falling in love with the girl who always runs.