Author Note: Well, long time no write guys!! Totally my fault, i know!! I've been busy with stuff in the summer and now that school's started again there's pretty much no hope of me doing any school work at all XD Heh nah, I'll try and balance school and my writing, since writing is kinda what i wanna do at uni so i need a bit o' both XD
Anywho, this is... well I'm not entirely sure what this is =S but i wrote it a while ago when i was having trouble saying what i meant to my girlfriend, so this is the second story that's come about because of her!! Whether that is good or bad you can decide, but i decided to make this random rambling into a Liley for you all =) there may be more to this story, like i might make it just random things i write to do with Liley and keep it all as one story.
Well anyway, i hope you guys like it.
Disclaimer: I do not own Hannah Montana or any of the characters!!
These Words
Hey, umm it's Lilly. I was just, y'know, thinkin' about her again, like always, so I just started writin' and this is what I got, I guess.
Just, y'know, somethin' else to add to the collection. Hmm it's getting pretty big now, it has been almost a year now. Yeah, a year next week, next Friday to be exact. I remember, we were meant to go for ice cream after school. Guess that never happened.
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I miss you so goddamn much each day,
It actually hurts when I think about it too hard,
When I'm not with you it feels like I'm suffocating,
Like there's no air in the room and I want to scream,
Because it hurts to even breathe.
I think about you all the time,
There's never a moment when you're not on my mind.
It doesn't help with the aching but I just can't help it,
I'm so hung up on you I can't think straight,
And half the time I don't even know which way is up.
I love you so bloody much and I still wonder why I have you,
But I'd do anything for you, to make you happy,
Because you mean the world to me.
I don't want anyone else because you're all I see,
When I'm with you it's like everyone, everything, just stops and goes away.
I need you so much all the time,
You're my rock, my strength;
You keep me going when I just want to give up.
I feel safe and happy and together when I'm with you,
Like I could do anything, be anyone I wanted to be.
I've never thought much about the future before,
Never seen anything much for myself.
But now I got you and I'm suddenly looking forward to it,
To the future, and I just wish it'd hurry up and get here.
That way I can spend it with you.
The things you say you see in me, I just don't see them.
Like you don't see all the stuff I see in you.
I try so damn hard to be a better person,
To be the person you deserve.
Because right now, you deserve so much more.
I know you'll argue and say that I'm wrong,
But when I look in the mirror I don't have a clue what you see.
All I see are the lies I've told, the people I've hurt and the bad things I've done.
I'm not proud of them, and if I knew how to I'd make up for them I would,
But I don't know how and they'll always haunt me.
I don't get like this often, but sometimes it's all just too much.
It's all stuck inside me and I don't know what to do.
I can never find the right words, and I get so confused.
I don't want to be like this, and I know you want to help,
But I don't want to hurt you, so I gotta do it on my own.
I wish you were here right now,
Because I know you'd make it all right.
But you're so far away and it's been too long.
I know I love you and I'm completely yours,
I'll always be here, you just gotta call.
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Umm yeah. Not as long as my last one, by four whole verses. Maybe it is gettin' better after all.
....No. No, I just want her to come back! This is her home now, Malibu, not Tennessee! Not anymore! It's not fair! I need her.
I need her so much.
...Hmm one step forward, eighteen steps back, I guess.
See you tomorrow, no doubt.
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Author Note: So there we have it =) let me know what you guys think!! In a bit all =)