{Alone}
Namixas oneshot. I was thinking about making this a full story, but I got writer's block and could only think of one chapter, so this is the outcome of my half-dead brain. It's kind of depressing (I've been told) so there's your warning. And yes, I do own Kingdom Hearts [in la-la-make-believe-land]. Anyways, read, enjoy, and review. Let me know what'cha think!! [:
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"So that's it?"
These were the only words that made their way past my lips. Everything I had been wanting to tell him, all my secrets, everything I had kept back all these years, had started swelling up inside me. I had tried my best to stay calm, but still this sentence barely came out as a whisper from my aching throat. I looked up at the back of his head; he hadn't turn around yet.
He had walked away from me, started for that alleyway without so much as a nod in my direction. He had looked at me, our eyes had met for about 1.5 seconds, and he kept walking. That's when something just clicked in my head, and I ran that five-foot distance he had made between us. And that's when those words had escaped me.
He had completely stopped in his tracks, and after what seemed like 5 hours he had turned around to face me. And his answer was so predictable:
"Uh, I guess."
"You guess?"
"Well, I have no idea what you're talking about."
I had every right that day to be mad at him. That was typical Roxas for you, trying to avoid any situation that would have made him uncomfortable. I didn't have the energy to yell at him. That little voice inside my head just told me, He's not worth it, Naminé. Just turn around now. I'm so STUPID. I should have listened to that voice. But I didn't. The little voice inside my nonexistent heart won the internal battle and got the best of me.
I grabbed his shoulder. "Roxas, I need to talk to you." He had tried to walk away again.
He turned to face me a second time, face expressionless. I wanted to know what was going through his mind, but I didn't at the same time. Either way, I knew it would have made things even more painful.
"You are talking to me."
"Roxas."
"Alright, what?"
I took a deep breath. This is now or never, I told myself.
"Roxas, you're leaving. You might be leaving for good, and you know that. But before you go, I have to tell you-"
"I get the point, that you need to tell me something, just get on with it."
I can't describe how much those last four words hurt. They burned and singed a hole right where my heart would have been. And that's when I knew that there was no more beating around the bush. I just had to come straight out and say it.
"Roxas, my feelings for you over these past years..."
"Yes?"
"If you would stop interrupting me, I could finish." My face was on fire.
"If you would keep talking, I wouldn't have to interrupt."
Why was I doing this again?
Screw it. I don't have anything to lose anymore.
"Roxas, I need to know how you feel about me."
"What?"
"How do you feel about me? Do you hate me now? Dislike me? Don't care? What?"
I searched his face for any emotion, a blush, a twitch, a blink. And still, nothing.
"Erhm, I dunno, you're cool...I guess..."
I was getting frustrated now.
"That's not what I mean! Ugh, Roxas!"
"Well then be specific!"
I couldn't even hear the next words I said.
"Huh?"
"I said I'm practically in love with you, Roxas, and I need to know if you feel the same way for me or not."
"..."
Just the response I had expected. But then again, what did I want him to do? Shout, 'I love you too, Naminé!', drop down on one knee, magically pull a ring out of his pocket, and propose? Pretty much any answer would have been nice. I didn't expect what happened next, though, at all. I never expected it in my wildest dreams.
He laughed.
He laughed, right in my face.
"Okay, let me get this straight," he said through his laughter, "you're in love with me, and you need to know how I feel?"
Somehow the way he said it made it sound like the stupidest thing anyone could ever think of.
I stayed silent and tried my best to swallow that lump in my throat.
That next moment, a pitch black portal appeared behind Roxas. We both looked up at it, and that Axel guy came out of it. I didn't really know him, but I knew I didn't like him. He was the one who had changed Roxas. He and the rest of that stupid group, Organization Thirteen, or whatever the hell they called themselves. They had recruited him in there, and ever since he had started hanging out with them, he had changed. He wasn't the Roxas I knew anymore. He had become "Number 13". What were the numbers for, anyway?
Axel froze when he saw us standing together. "Oh, erhm, sorry if I'm interrupting anything, I'll just come back later, alright, Rox?"
I glared at him through the tears that refused to fall down my face. I was the one who gave Roxas that nickname. I was the only one who called him that. I was the one who called him Rox while everyone else had called him Roxas. He would beat up anyone else who would call him that. He'd only let me call him that. Who did Axel think he was? Apparently Roxas thought he was more important than me.
"Nah, don't worry, Ax, I'm just finishing up here."
'Finishing up'?
He turned back to face me.
"I see you the same way I see anyone else, Naminé. And why do you look like that? We haven't talked in forever, and you've managed to fall in love with me? How the fuck did you do that? Whatever, I gotta go. See ya."
Once he had looked away from me, it all hit me. It hit me so hard that I fell to the ground. The last thing I saw before gravity took hold of me was Axel's eyes widen, then look at Roxas suspiciously. Suddenly something made me feel compassion for Axel, and everything I felt for Roxas had started to melt away.
The tears came down as I knelt on the concrete. They streamed down my face more than they ever had before. I had proabably cried out about five gallons of tears, I'm not kidding. And still he walked away, not bothering to even turn when a sob escaped from me.
My vision was blurred, but I still watched him walk away. I counted every single step he took until he reached that portal. He never bothered to turn once, he just kept on going. The only time he ever turned his head was to say, "Come on, Ax" as he stepped through the portal. After that last blonde strand of hair passed into the darkness, I knew I would never see him again.
Axel had stood, shocked, in his place. When Roxas had given that command to him, he seemed to have realized what had happened. The portal disappeared as he took cautious steps toward me.
He knelt down once he reached me, and put a comforting hand on my shoulder. But no one could comfort me at that point. I was still bawling, flooding the ground with my tears. And yeah, I did know Axel. I knew the rest of them too; I knew them all and they all knew me, but we didn't know each other, you know?
Axel lowered his head. "Naminé, are you alright?"
"Just...go..." I whispered. I was still shaking violently with all the sobs I was trying so hard to keep in.
He gave my shoulder one last pat, as if to say "Hey, I'm sorry, I hope you're alright", and stood up. I heard him summon another portal and leave.
There I was, left crying on the ground in the alley.
I was heartbroken, yes, but more importantly, I was alone.