X-X-X-X
Star Fox is owned by Nintendo
X-X-X-X
Great Fox at Night
The halls of the Great Fox echoed with two pairs of booted feet and the sound of arguing voices. The urgent speed conveyed by the rapid steps filled the air as two unlikely characters were stomping towards Fox McCloud's quarters. Ace Pilot and Star Fox's resident avian, Falco Lombardi, and beside him was the long-standing rival team leader of Star Wolf, Wolf O'Donnell.
"In your dreams bird, I got the goods. Lookit me, one hundred percent pure lupine muscle. All you have is that stupid yellow beak, and your bones are so brittle they'd probably snap!"
Falco mimicked Wolf's boast with a groan. "Please, like he'd want anything to do with you; you've been trying to murder him for the better part of a decade. Also, hey; ass hole. That shit evolved out a long ass time ago. Get your damn biology straight ya freakin' speciest."
"Aww did I hurt the widdle bird's fee-fees?" Wolf snorted derisively. "I'm the better pilot, I'm sure as hell a damn sight better looking than you, and at least I have a snout so I won't be poking his eyes out or biting off something by accident."
The two continued like this for some time until finally, they arrived at Fox's quarters. The doors were sealed tight, and not a sound came through. Falco reached over first to press the call button before Wolf unceremoniously slammed his boot into the door.
"Hey! Pup! Get out here!"
Several minutes passed until a very disgruntled and disheveled Fox McCloud exited the door only to be greeted by his rival. His swift reactions kicked in and reeled back to deliver a punch.
"Whoa there pup, not here to fight!"
Mid-swing Fox paused and looked at the lupine with a dubious and confused stare. The todd only wore an unbuttoned shirt with his bare muscled midriff and chest hinted under the soft blonde fur with hastily thrown on green pants, his feet naked and touching against the cold plating. Fox noted his blue friend next to Wolf and his expression took on one of disbelief.
"Falco… what in the actual fuck is going on here?"
"Fox, c'mon man, you know what's up. You gotta make a choice here and now."
Fox blinked at the serious tone of his best friend and ace pilot. The male's sharp green eyes flashing once and then twice. "Choice?"
Wolf growled in impatience. "Which one of us you're gonna go with ya imbecile."
"Go… with? Okay look, You two just interrupted me, and I want an explanation why you two, especially you Wolf, are outside my door late at night. Also why and how the hell are you on my ship in the first place Wolf?"
Wolf got the biggest grin on his face, one that made Fox's eyebrows turn up in curiosity as to what in the nine hells was going on in that crazy canines head.
"First, I'm here to prove to the pheasant once and for all that I'm the one who's gonna take you down. Second, you need to bone up on your security, I bypassed the shields and ROB easily. Seriously, it was a cakewalk."
Fox firmly placed his thumb and forefinger between his eyes and rubbed at the bridge of his snout with a groan of agitation before hitting the intercom button next to his door.
Several seconds later a groggy squeaky voice answered. "Who the hell is waking me up! I'm trying to sleep!"
"That would be your boss at the moment Slippy," Fox grumbled in no small amount of agitation.
"Oh! Uhhh.. yes Fox?"
"Slippy, did you remember to update the security protocols last time we were in dry dock?"
Dead silence was the reply for a few seconds. "Uhm… I uh... May have forgotten. Why?"
"Wolf O'Donnell is standing in front of my room right now."
"Oh shit! Are you-"
"I'm fine Slippy, just get your ass up to the bridge, update that security software or no cream puffs for a year."
There was a squeak followed by the sudden sounds of crashing furniture before the comm went silent. With a shake of his head Fox turned his attention back to Wolf and Falco.
"You two, start making sense, or I'm going into my room and getting my blaster."
"Fox, you know I'm the one, this furball has been trying to kill you-"
"For fuck sakes, one for what? Going with you, taking me down, context people!"
Both Falco and Wolf looked at each other perplexed. They were reasonably sure it was apparent, but they had either been too subtle, or Fox was oblivious.
"Going out with you of course," Wolf said matter of factly.
Fox stood there dumbfounded, his jaw hanging open in surprise and disbelief. Before his senses rebooted and his mind took in what Wolf O'Donnell, his rival and the guy who had been trying to kill him for the longest time… wanted to go out with him.
"Falco?"
The bird nodded sheepishly.
They didn't know what to expect before Fox groaned in agitation.
"I'm going to kill whoever started that rumor." He growled.
"Rumor?" Wolf asked with perplexity in his voice.
"Yea, the one that stupid tabloid printed? The one that says I'm gay?"
That made Falco look at him. "Pretty sure you are, you're always strutting around in front of me half naked like you're trying to show off the goods.
"It's my ship Falco, I can do whatever I please on it! If I so desire to go strutting around my ship commando style should I ever feel the need to, I will do it. Course now that I know you're lusting after me…" Fox shook his head, it was so surreal. His best friend was apparently gay and after him, and Wolf… he'd always suspected, what with the leather fetish and Wolf's borderline obsession.
"Look, guys, I'm not gay, I like women, straight as an arrow."
As if to confirm what he said to be true, the door to his room slid open with a hiss of hydraulics and a vixen neither of them had ever seen before walked out wearing one of his shirts. Blue and white fur with aquamarine eyes coupled with waist length hair and a figure most would consider curvy bordering on voluptuous. Strange tattoos dotted her face, chest, and thighs. That very same vixen wore a t-shirt with the Star Fox logo that covered her assets and all the way down to her nether regions. Her voice a rich high society accent spoke of her refinement and upbringing. "Fox, darling, what is so gods damned important that you had to come out here?"
"It's nothing angel, go back inside, I'll be back to finish what we started before these two idiots interrupted us."
"Bloody well better, think you got me pregnant with that last load of yours." The aquamarine eyed vulpine said before turning on her heel with a flick of her tail and went back inside.
Fox grinned at how crass Krystal could be, the vixen was something else, elegant, graceful and kind-hearted. But she could be just as raunchy as any man in the bedroom once her engine was revved. The todd turned back to the pair who sought his affections. "See, not gay. Now Wolf, get the hell off my ship, and Falco… We'll talk about this later. As for me, duty calls."
Fox departed and went through the door, and there was a distinct hiss of the door being sealed.
Both Wolf and Falco looked at each other in awe "Who the hell was that?!" They both shouted at each other simultaneously.
"Better question, how the hell did we miss it?! I mean, the clothing, the scarf, and he's a fox!" Falco exclaimed.
"Man, your gaydar must be busted worse than mine, this makes no sense."
The two men trudged off defeated and their hopes in tatters.
Meanwhile in Fox's Quarters: "You're serious, they thought you were gay?" The cobalt vixen giggled as her lover nestled atop her.
"Apparently, god damn stereotypes and all. I heard what they said before wandering off, pair of ass holes." He groused and laid his palms on his loves shoulders and stroked down her arms sweetly. "You would have thought with all your coming and going from the ship they would have picked up on your scent. Especially off of me. Guess they were blinded." He chuckled quietly.
Krystal looked to her mate and laughed boisterously while her fingers came to rest on the back of Fox's neck."Well, you are quite the prize Foxy, but if those two get any ideas, they'll find my staff crammed between their legs."
The todd smirked from beneath his exotic beauty while those strong paws stroked through her fur. "Don't worry, I have no intention of switching sides."
"Good. Now, let's pick up where we left off hrmm? There was some mighty fine talk of making me scream."
Fox let his playful smirk evolve into a wide grin. "Lets rock and roll."
Krystal rolled her eyes. "Such a dweeb." Her words were muted by the sudden pressing of Fox's noble snout to her own in a loving, passionate kiss as the two gave into their desire for one another.
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A/N: So this was some late night brainstorming with Sanitarium who came up with some of the dialogue used here. Just a short simple story I thought amusing.