AN: what up fam squad, I've got another glorious fanfic for you. Requested by Barbacar.
Marco and Star stood in front of the blue, swirling portal. It was the twenty seventh battle for Mewni of the year, so Star finally decided enough was enough. She was trying to convince Marco to return home to Earth despite the fact he was her squire and probably shouldn't be abandoning his post. Also all that stuff about her mom still being missing...or dead...
But that was a bridge she'd have to burn some other time.
"Do you really think so little of me?" Marco asked.
"Marco I thought the world of you. I thought we were going to fight side by side but at the end of the day you are you and I'm me. You're a human which means you're a fragile little piece of meat. And I'm pretty sure this flame monster thing is bent on completely destroying Mewni, not taking it over." Star replied.
"Why does that sound a little familiar?" Marco asked.
Star shrugged. In the vast vacuum of space, a green cloaked man and his brother sneezed.
"I don't see why I have to leave. We've always done this stuff together." Marco said.
"Done what stuff together?" Star asked, forgetting the conversation she was just having.
Taking advantage of the change in the situation, Marco reminded her of the destructive monster quickly approaching the land. Star was silent for a moment. She remembered why she was trying to get Marco to leave but she was having a change of heart. Maybe that was because her own short attention span was the biggest threat to Mewni, or maybe because Marco was dA lOEv oF hEr LEifeu and she didn't actually want him to leave. Who knows.
She had a new idea. One that didn't require the boy she wanted to have 15 billion children with leaving her side.
"Let's do 'get help'." she said.
"What?" Marco asked.
"Get help." Star replied.
"No you were just trying to get me to leave so I'd 'be safe'. Why do you want to do get help?" Marco argued.
"Because it works every time." Star replied, opening a new portal and sticking her hand through it. A laser light cannon came out from the other side. She patted it affectionately, cooing to it quietly. It was very awkward and uncomfortable.
Even so, Marco valiantly carried on.
"We are not doing 'get help'." he insisted.
Star ran into the middle of the battlefield, pushing a giant pink cannon along with her. She yelled frantically, "Get help. Get help. My best friend is dying."
The pink cannon started to glow. Faint screams of terror came from the inside of the cannon. Most of the soldiers could tell it was Marco's voice who was screaming. The started backing away from the flame monster, knowing exactly what Star was planning of doing.
"HELP HIM!" Star yelled.
The cannon fired, sending Marco straight into the flame monster's jugular, knocking the monster down. Marco fell along with the monster, twitching on the ground beside it. Star walked over to the monster, inspecting its glorious hot bod. It seemed stunned but still fine. She then looked at Marco.
"I don't think it worked. Let's try that again." she said.
Marco continued to scream as he was dragged back to the cannon.
The monster stood back up, now enraged someone threw a small tree at him. He rushed towards the cannon, narrowly missing another screaming tree.
Star could only watch as Marco flew off into the distance, turning into nothing but a sparkle in the sky.
"Welp. Next time on Game Grumps..."
AN: what up. im jared. im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read.