"For the Love of Jasper" One-Shot Contest
Title: My Life Is a John Hughes Movie
Pen name: Shamrockin
Existing work: N/A
Primary Players: Jasper, Bella, Alice, Gracie
Disclaimer: SM owns all things recognizable from Twilight. John Hughes is responsible for my Pretty in Pink fascination. None of this was for profit...just fun. So please…enjoy!
To see other entries in the "For the Love of Jasper" contest, please visit the C2:
www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/community/For_the_Love_of_Jasper_Contest/72564/
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He was a movie star. Not in the literal sense, of course, but a spectacular leading man in his life story. It had everything, drama, pain, love… I had thought, for a moment, that I might be his leading lady. I was wrong.
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Every person in Forks knew the story of Jasper Whitlock. Abandoned by his father at the age of ten, he had been forced to become the man of the house, taking care of his mother and his baby sister. For the first few years Maria Whitlock had worked, neighbors had watched Gracie, and Jasper had been fine. Somewhere along the line, Maria had started drinking, and she never got around to stopping. She'd quit working, and people had stopped caring. Gracie, by some miracle, remained suitably clean and neatly dressed, got to school on time, and from all accounts made it home safely as well. Jasper, on the other hand, wore the same four outfits, came to school late, slept through class, and seemed to have forgotten the purpose of the shower in his house. Everyone just assumed he drank right along with his mother. Folks around town shook their heads and whispered about how tragic it was, or something trite about the apple not falling far from the tree. Classmates would risk a glance at him sleeping in the back of the room and feel superior. I would feel superior. I was a straight-A student, junior class secretary (too shy to run for president), peer tutor, teachers' pet, and the darling daughter my police-chief father, Charlie, loved to brag about. But unlike my classmates, I was also intrigued by him. Why did he do it? He saw how alcohol destroyed his mother, why would he follow that path? So while others glared and snickered, I stole shy glances and wondered.
It was as I was wandering down the eerily silent halls of Forks High School, having just spoken to my journalism teacher about an article, that the opportunity to assuage my curiosity presented itself. I overheard my English teacher, Ms. Denali, talking to someone and almost instinctively my body began to drift toward the source of her voice.
"You have to stop sleeping through my class and start turning in your homework," she sounded frustrated.
"I'm sorry, I'll try and do better," a soft voice answered her. A shiver ran down my spine at the haunting musicality of his words. I found myself inching closer to the open door, careful to stay out of sight. Jasper was standing in front of Ms. Denali with his head down, hair in his eyes.
"Have you considered a tutor?" asked Ms. Denali, her voice was gentler, more sympathetic.
"I…"
"I'll do it!" I stepped into the doorway, startling them and myself. I blushed furiously, looking down at the floor as if it could offer some sort of explanation for my odd reaction.
"That's wonderful," Ms. Denali recovered from her shock quickly and beamed at me.
"But…" he barely got that one word out before Ms. Denali shooed him out of the room, shutting the door in our stunned faces.
"I'm sorry," I offered him an apologetic smile, shy after my random outburst.
Jasper heaved a sigh, running his hand through his hair. I was struck with the thought that he could be beautiful. His face was all angles, he had deep purple circles beneath his eyes, and his hair was greasy, but underneath I could see a shadow of the boy he could be. The boy he should be, if only fate had dealt him a better hand. He still didn't say anything, and the awkward silence was more than I could handle.
"You don't have to do it," I mumbled, feeling painfully awkward.
"No, it's….it's fine," he sighed again, "If you could come to my place, though, it would help."
I nodded mutely, twisting my fingers in front of me and biting my lip. Jasper opened his mouth, but then seemed to think better of it and turned away from me to walk out of the school and into the parking lot.
I followed Jasper to his house, although it wasn't necessary. I knew where he lived. Gracie was just getting off the bus as we pulled into the driveway, and she leapt into her brother's arms.
"Hey there G.G.," he grinned, ruffling her hair. She put her forehead against his and chatted animatedly about her day at school. Feeling like an intruder, I wandered slowly up toward the house.
"Who's the pretty lady?" Gracie whispered loudly. I looked back at the two of them involuntarily.
"That's Bella. She's going to help us with our homework," his eyes met mine then, and he winked. Stepping around me he opened the door and ushered me in.
"We have to be done by seven-thirty," Jasper told me as I settled at the table next to Gracie. He was rummaging around the tiny but clean kitchen preparing a snack for her.
I wanted to ask him what he had to do at seven-thirty that was more important than graduating high school, but I forced myself to remain silent.
"Would you like something to drink?" he asked me politely.
"Um…no...I…I don't drink," I stammered, and I felt my cheeks burning.
"I meant water or juice," he chuckled, setting celery with peanut butter and a glass of milk in front of Gracie.
"Oh…" I cursed mentally, berating myself for assuming the worst when I barely knew him.
"Do you mind if I cook while we study?" Jasper asked me. I looked up at him, surprised.
"Your mom doesn't do that?" I knew the minute I opened my mouth that it was a stupid question, but the words were already tumbling out, tripping over each other in their haste to make me look like the world's biggest idiot.
Jasper stiffened almost imperceptibly, but didn't say anything. He just looked at me and shook his head to the negative.
"I finished my snack; can I go watch the TV now?" Gracie piped up, oblivious to the tension in the air.
"Wash your hands first," Jasper grinned at her and for a moment the creases in his forehead smoothed and I got another peek at beauty hidden in his face.
Gracie bounced up and raced down the hallway.
"No running in the house G.G.!" Jasper called after her, sounding more like a father than a brother and I couldn't help but smile.
"Why do you call her G.G.?" I startled myself, still not used to this strange tendency I had to blurt out random, embarrassing things in his presence.
Jasper blushed and ducked his head, refusing to look at me.
"Umm, ya know her name is Gracie?" he mumbled, and I nodded. "Well I call her God's Grace, G.G. for short," he explained, studying the counter-top as if it held the answers to all of life's questions.
In that moment, I stumbled toward loving him.
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For two weeks we continued in that same pattern. I sat at the table, Jasper cooked, and we discussed whatever subject necessary.
Somewhere along the line, Gracie had started joining us in the kitchen, working on her homework, or coloring, or just watching us in fascination.
It had not taken long for me to realize that Jasper was not stupid. In fact, I was fairly certain he was at least as smart as me, if not smarter. No, his problem seemed to be a general lack of effort. Despite our time together, and the homework I made him do, he was still dangerously close to failing English. He still pushed me out the front door at 7:30, still came to school late, and still slept through half his classes.
Frustrated, I confronted him the next Monday as he tried to shoo me out of the house.
"Why do you do this to yourself?" the words were forced out through my clenched teeth.
"Do what?" he stood in the shadow of the doorway, his face hidden by the dying light, innocently confused. I went from frustrated to mad in 2.4 seconds.
"What do you mean what?!" I spit the words at him. "You could be in the top of our class, and instead you rush me out every night so you can...I don't know…get drunk with your mom, or go party, but it can't be good cause you always look like you haven't had time to shower and you spend half the day sleeping, so I know you aren't sleeping at night when you should be, and even if you don't like school, all it would take to pass English would be for you to read the fuckin' books occasionally!" My rambling outburst had left me tense; fists clenched and chest heaving as I glared at him in the sudden, eerie silence that followed.
"You've got it all wrong Bella," he sighed softly, rubbing his face with his hand. He stepped back from the doorway, "You'd better come back in," he added.
I was suddenly all too aware that I had yelled at him outside on the porch, for all the neighbors to hear. Acute embarrassment flooded my body, rendering my limbs stiff and painting my cheeks bright red. I wanted to take it all back.
"Would you like something to eat?" his words were formal, stilted, and I knew that it was for Gracie's benefit. I groaned internally, there was no way she hadn't heard me yelling at her beloved brother. Unable to speak, I nodded my acquiescence and followed him back into the kitchen.
I pushed the food around on my plate, only taking a bite when I felt Jasper's eyes on me. Even through my anger I was hesitant to insult him by not eating. Gracie kept up a constant stream of chatter, for which I was extremely grateful. When she had finished eating, she pushed her plate toward the center of the table and looked at Jasper expectantly.
"Is Miss Bella gonna help with my bath?" she was bouncing with excitement, kicking her feet back and forth.
"Actually sweetie, I need you to shower tonight," Jasper's attention was focused completely on her, ignoring me. He looked pained and full of sorrow, and I felt guilty for all the anger I'd been feeling.
"But you promised me that I could always take a bath on the nights I have to stay with Miss Sherman!" Gracie's lip was trembling and she looked close to tears.
"I know, but Bella and I have to talk, and we can't do that if I am in the bathroom with you," Jasper knelt down in front of her, brushing a single tear from her eye and kissing her on the tip of her nose.
I felt like a monster when she turned to look at me, obviously trying to hold it together and look like a big girl. Her "okay" was barely audible. She got up and walked down the short hallway and into the bathroom.
Jasper returned to his seat, searching my face for something…I don't know what...but evidently he decided I was to be trusted.
"I need you to promise me that you will never repeat what I am about to tell you," his eyes pierced me and I was suddenly nervous about what horrible thing he was about to reveal.
"I…I promise," the words caught in my dry throat, reluctant to exit. He studied me a bit longer, then exhaled deeply and relaxed into his seat.
"I don't drink. I've never even tasted alcohol, and I never plan to. I work…in a factory in Port Angeles. The owner lets me work third shift. It's technically illegal, so he pays me in cash. I don't have to pay taxes or anything, and it means I get to be here for G.G. every morning and evening," his words seemed nonchalant, but I could tell he was waiting for my reaction, gauging my response. To be honest I was lost. What possible thing could I say that would make anything right in his life? Should I pity him? Somehow I didn't think he would appreciate that.
"Where is Gracie all night while you're at work? Do you just leave her…" my tentative question trailed off as I realized that there was no polite way to say his mother was a drunk.
"She sleeps next door. Our neighbor is an older lady who never had any children," he explained, still wary.
"Doesn't your mom get money from the government, or something?" I waved a hand in the air, not sure what I was talking about, but positive that a boy his age should not be responsible for the well being of his family.
Jasper just snorted at me, "They should just send her bottles of whiskey instead of a check. It would save her a step."
"Don't you have any family to help?" I was desperately grasping at straws at this point, overwhelmed by sadness for this boy and unsure how to keep him from knowing.
Jasper shook his head silently. I opened my mouth to speak again, but the words wouldn't come.
"Jazzy! I'm done, come help!" Gracie's voice broke through the hailstorm of emotion threatening to swallow the small room. Despite my heavy heart, I couldn't help but smile at her nickname for Jasper.
"Jazzy?" I smirked.
"Repeat it and die," he teased, heading toward the bathroom.
"Jasper, wait…" I spoke softly; half hoping he wouldn't hear me. He paused, lifting an eyebrow in inquiry.
"I could…help…I mean…I can cook pretty well…and then you would have more time to do homework…" my brain was screaming at me that getting involved in the tangled mess of his life was a mistake, but my heart was convinced I would be able to undo some of the knots.
"I didn't tell you to get help," he was clearly offended.
"I didn't think that you had," I stammered, "I just…that's what friends do…help each other."
"Friends, huh?" he squinted, as if trying to place the word, remember the definition.
"Jazzy, come on! I'm gettin' cold!" Gracie's plaintive cry cut into the heavy silence.
"I'll just see you tomorrow," I blurted hastily, retrieving my bag and escaping into the cool night, away from the shroud of despair that suddenly seemed to hang over the house.
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The next night I'd silently taken over the cooking duties. Jasper allowed it, and I smiled when I saw some of the tension leave him. It wasn't long before I'd assumed other duties, cleaning and helping with Gracie. Every so often I would notice Jasper studying me, brow furrowed, as if I were an unsolvable equation. I was no longer tutoring him, in the sense that he didn't actually need my help now that he had time to do the work.
Charlie was starting to complain that I was wasting my time, because he'd heard that Jasper still showed up to school late and looking worse for the wear. The idea that Charlie might forbid me from helping Jasper had never before crossed my mind, and the fierce pain that accompanied that thought startled me. I didn't like it, and so I spent an entire Sunday searching for a solution to the fact that Gracie didn't start school until after Jasper.
I arrived at their house the next day armed with a plan, determined to convince him it was the right thing to do.
I knocked and heard Gracie's shriek of excitement through the door. She threw it open and leapt into my arms as she wrapped her tiny ones tight around my neck.
"Miss Bella's makin' pasketti, Miss Bella's makin' pasketti!" she was chanting and I couldn't help but grin, her joy was infectious. I looked up to see Jasper watching us from the hallway, a small smile on his face.
"Remind me never to tell her what I'm making ahead of time," I joked ruefully.
"You love it and you know it," he smirked.
We headed into the kitchen. Jasper sat at the table and I started pulling ingredients out of the cupboard. I took a deep breath, nervous about how he would take my proposal.
"Jasper…I need to talk to you," I started, faltering when his eyes flew to mine, panicked.
"Is something wrong?" his fists were clenched and he looked really worried.
"No, no, nothing like that. I just… You know how you always come to school late because you have get Gracie ready in the morning?" Jasper still looked confused and slightly worried, so I rushed on, "I found out they have this before-school program, and you could sign her up, and they feed them breakfast and do art projects and read books and I think it would really be good for her and you. And you could have time to shower before school."
"Bella, I don't have the money for that," he sighed, relaxing a little.
"But it wouldn't cost money, and I could come pick her up and take her so you have more time in the morning," my heart was pounding in my ears as I countered his argument. What if I hadn't thought of everything? What if my plan was a failure?
"It's free?" he eyed me skeptically.
"Well…no…not for everyone, but given your financial situation…" I knew that this was the biggest flaw in the plan, that Jasper's pride would be hurt by the idea.
"Yeah, my 'situation,'" said Jasper bitterly. I left the kitchen area and sat down next to him.
"Jasper, there is no shame in accepting help," I said softly, covering his hand with my own.
"Well, if I agreed, you wouldn't need to take her, I could do it," he muttered.
"Jasper, you need some time for yourself," I pleaded, unable to stop myself from rubbing my thumb gently against his. I looked down at our joined hands, and it just felt so…right. I knew, then, that I had fallen…head over heels. And that I would never love anyone the way I loved Jasper Whitlock.
"You already do so much…" he trailed off when I put my finger against his lips. My heart skipped a beat and I prayed he wouldn't notice the tremor that ran through my body.
"Getting up a half hour early is nothing," I assured him, but he still looked like he wanted to protest. "Besides, you would be doing me a favor if you washed your hair more than once a week," I lifted a strand of his hair and tugged playfully.
He blushed, but didn't get angry.
"Just think about it," I urged him, getting up and returning to supper preparations.
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Evidently I was very persuasive, because Jasper signed her up the next day after school. I never asked him how he got his mother's signature on the paperwork, and Jasper never brought it up either. Regardless, Gracie started her before-school program the next week. I hauled my ass out of bed extra early that day, determined to be on time and chipper to prevent Jasper from protesting my help once again. It was all in vain, because Gracie was watching for me from the window and was outside before I even got my door open.
Jasper arrived at school ten minutes early and looking the cleanest I'd ever seen him. Turns out his hair was a much lighter blond than I would have guessed. And trust me…I had been 100% spot-on about that whole 'he could be beautiful' thing.
"Bella!" he called my name across the parking lot, jogging to catch up with me.
"What's up?" I asked, slightly confused. Jasper and I had never spoken at school before and I could feel the eyes of everyone in the parking lot trained on us.
"I just wanted to thank you again for this morning," he said seriously, before grinning and adding, "I think I might even stay awake in class today."
"That would be thanks enough for me," I replied, uncomfortable with his gratitude.
"Well, I'll see you later," he said as we entered the school, heading off in the opposite direction.
"Are you kidding me?!" a familiar voice hissed, its owner grabbing me by the arm and dragging me into a nearby bathroom.
"Geez Alice, that hurt," I complained, rubbing my arm and eyeing her warily, "What's your problem?"
"I just can't believe you've been holding out on me about Jasper! I'm your best friend!" She was bouncing in an agitated manner, and it kind of made me sea sick.
"You knew I was tutoring him," I furrowed my brow, unsure of what point she was trying to make.
"Yeah, but you didn't mention he is hot! His smile is gorgeous…" she trailed off dreamily.
I know, I thought. "I hadn't noticed," I lied out loud, unwilling to share my feelings for Jasper with anyone, even Alice.
"Then you don't care if I go for him?" Alice didn't so much ask, she demanded. She was focused on fixing her makeup in the mirror and, thankfully, missed my sudden loss of color.
I felt nauseous at the thought of Alice dating Jasper.
"Umm…I guess…" I forced out through my tight throat. What else could I say? As certain as I was that I loved Jasper, I was equally certain he would never love someone like me. I stood behind Alice, comparing our reflections. She was luminescent skin, big eyes, and shiny black hair. I was washed out, dull, boring. What kind of person would I be if I stood in the way of his happiness for my own selfish hope? Lord knows he deserves some happiness.
"I have to get to class," I mumbled, pushing the heavy door open and walking quickly away from Alice before I could succumb to tears.
Alice was nothing if not efficient, and she put "Operation Get Jasper" into action that very afternoon.
Jasper and I were standing by his truck, discussing stuff we needed from the store, when Alice skipped up.
"Bella!" she exclaimed cheerfully, slinging an arm over my shoulders.
"Hey," I said shortly. I was angry with her, which wasn't fair of me, but it couldn't be helped.
"Introduce me to your friend," she prompted me, turning her blinding smile on Jasper. I rolled my eyes at her obvious behavior, but I couldn't avoid her without being rude.
"Alice, this is Jasper. Jasper, Alice," I muttered, refusing to look at either of them, staring at my feet instead.
Jasper only nodded at Alice, and the silence seemed to stretch between us.
"So, Bella, could you help me with my English paper tonight?" Alice asked me sweetly.
"Oh...I…" my eyes flew to Jasper's, "I'm helping Jasper tonight."
"Well, I'll just come with," she suggested, "You don't mind, right Jasper?" Alice batted her eyelashes at him. Freaking batted her damn eyelashes. I barely contained a snort of derision.
"Umm…" Jasper hedged, looking at me for help. I just shrugged my shoulders in defeat. "I guess that's okay," he said, sighing and running a hand through his hair. I felt a pang in the general area of my heart at the gesture… it was just so…him.
"Yeah, why don't I pick up some pizza?" I smiled at him, trying to convey more confidence than I felt. "Alice, you can come with me," I added, sure that I was not going to leave her alone with him.
"Actually I have to go home and change, I'll meet you there," she murmured, her eyes still focused on Jasper's face.
We all stood there for a moment before I decided that someone had to move first. I turned and jogged over to my truck. I pulled myself up onto the seat and grabbed my phone. I called the pizza place and my order was ready twenty minutes later. I drove faster than I should have, desperate to get to Jasper's house before Alice. I said a quick prayer of thanks that Alice was a girly-girl when I saw that her car was absent from the front of the Whitlock house.
I grabbed the pizza and my book bag, hopping out of my truck. Alice pulled up in front of the house, out of her car before it was even turned off.
We headed to the front door together and I knocked. Gracie opened the door, dancing around me like a maniac and singing, "Pizza!"
She stopped short when she saw Alice behind me, hiding behind my legs.
"Who is that?" she demanded, pointing at Alice and pouting.
"That is Alice. Miss Bella is gonna help her with her homework the same way she helps us," Jasper explained, smiling at her fondly.
"Hey little lady, how old are you?" Alice asked her cheerfully, crouching down to Gracie's eye level. Gracie just buried her face in the thick material of my jeans.
"She's six," Jasper answered her.
"I don't like her," Gracie said petulantly. Jasper and I both blushed.
"Come on G.G., let's get you some carrots," Jasper said, swinging her into his arms and heading into the kitchen.
A subdued Alice and I followed.
"You didn't tell me his sister was here," Alice whispered.
"Right, cause we've had so many conversations about my time here," I whispered back, sarcastic.
I'm positive that Alice wanted to say more, but we'd entered the kitchen.
"So, why do you call your sister G.G.? I thought her name was Gracie," Alice spoke into the silence.
Gracie glared at her but kept her mouth shut. I wanted to laugh, it was so cute, but I bit my tongue. Instead I waited to see how Jasper would answer her. There was no reason for him to keep it secret, but a part of me didn't want him to tell Alice.
"Just do," he said softly.
We all sat at the table, pulling out our books. Gracie chomped loudly on her carrots, pumping her legs furiously under the table until Jasper raised a reproving eyebrow in her direction. She huffed and slid out of her seat, heading into the living room. Jasper started to rise, but I stayed him with a hand on his arm.
"You two talk about your papers, I'll take care of…G.G.," it was the first time I'd called her that, and I ignored Jasper's look of surprise. It was a minor victory in a battle Alice didn't even realize she was participating in. She might win over Jasper, but G.G. was all mine.
I had calmed G.G. down and we were sitting on the couch watching an episode of Hannah Montana when Alice called me back into the kitchen. I rolled my eyes at G.G. and she smirked at me conspiratorially as I stood up.
"What's going on in here?" I asked.
"Alice is trying to convince me to go out with her on Saturday," Jasper sounded a little desperate, and I knew he wouldn't want to give up his only night home with G.G.
"Bella, you think Jasper should go to the movies with me, right?" Alice prodded me. I raised my eyebrows at her audacity, shocked that she was pursuing him so hard.
"I really don't think that's a good idea," Jasper said quietly, sharing a significant look with me.
"No, I'm sure it is," Alice continued, oblivious, "Bella can baby-sit if your mom is too busy. She and Gracie love each other." The last was said with a slight edge.
"Right, cause my Saturday night is wide open," I muttered bitterly. Jasper gave me a pleading look and I sighed. "But, I mean, I would love to have a girly sleep over with G.G., so go for it," I smiled in what I hoped was a convincing manner and gave them a thumbs up.
"Umm, actually, I have a little headache, do you mind if I go home early? You two can help each other," I knew I had to excuse myself quickly, before the entire neighborhood heard the sound of my heart breaking. "I'll see you tomorrow," I added, exiting the kitchen before either of them said anything.
I kissed G.G. on the forehead, murmuring a goodbye, and headed home.
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I don't know if she was trying to avoid G.G., or just trying to seem mysterious, but Alice didn't invite herself over for the rest of the week. Things went back to normal, at least on the surface. Inside of me was a giant ball of jealousy that made me waspish and unpleasant to be around, except when I was with Jasper and G.G. at night. I had mentioned that I would be watching G.G. on Saturday to Charlie, and he hadn't protested. I planned our menu, bought her a sleeping bag, and dug out all my old Disney movies.
"You don't have to…" Jasper had started to protest again when I came by to pick her up, but I raised my hand to silence him.
"It's okay to want to do something normal teenagers do," I assured him, "besides, G.G. is beyond excited about our sleepover."
"Are you sure you want me to do this?" he persisted. Of course not! I love you! I hate that you are going to spend an evening alone with my best friend. God you look hot… I thought. What I said was: "Why wouldn't I?" My words felt too cheerful, my smile too bright, but Jasper just nodded and called for G.G.
She chattered nonstop all the way to my house, which gave me time to calm my raging emotions.
The sleepover was a smashing success. We had chicken and cheese quesadillas for dinner, then bundled up and went outside to make snow-angels in the moonlight. We came back into the house pink-cheeked and laughing. I made hot cocoa and popcorn and we settled into our sleeping bags on the living room floor to watch a movie. Half-way through The Fox and The Hound, G.G. and I were both crying.
"But why can't they be friends?" G.G. sniffed, looking at me with watery eyes.
"I don't know, sweetie, it still breaks my heart," I said sadly, "But I promise it gets better."
By the time the movie was over, G.G. was yawning loudly.
"Let's go brush our teeth and then we can talk until we fall asleep," I said, leading her up the stairs to the bathroom.
We were back downstairs in no time, and I turned off the lights while G.G. snuggled into her covers.
I stretched out next to her, watching the stars through the big window.
"Bella…" she whispered.
"Mmmhmm?"
"I wish you were my mom and Jazzy was my daddy," she whispered, her voice trembling.
"Oh honey…" I felt tears teasing the corners of my eyes, and I had no idea what to say to that.
"I hate Alice," she growled.
"G.G., that isn't very fair, or very nice. You only met her once," I sighed, kind of agreeing with her at this particular moment. I turned on my side and reached out to pull her close into my body. "You know I'll always be there for you, right? Even though I'm not your mom," I whispered into her hair through the painful lump in my throat.
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December days blended into one another and I steadily grew more morose. Alice was over at Jasper's house all the time, and I was having a difficult time dealing with the little couple-y things she did with Jasper. Still, I would probably have remained the pathetic, silent, lovesick best friend forever if fate had not conspired with John Hughes to wake me from my dream-like depression.
I had somehow gotten wrapped up in watching a Saturday afternoon broadcast of Pretty in Pink. As I watched it I couldn't help but notice parallels between the quintessential 80's movie and my life. I was Duckie to Jasper's Andie Walsh. Alice waltzed in all Blane McDonnagh-like and stole him away from me. I closed my eyes when Andie chose Blane, fighting back tears. How had I never noticed how desperately unfair this movie was?
Still, I may have gotten over it, had Alice not chosen that afternoon to show up at my house, brimming over with excitement. The minute I opened the door she threw her arms around me, squeezing me until I couldn't breathe.
"I think I love him!" she squealed, and I winced from both the high pitch of her voice and the arrow of pain through my heart.
"How do you know? You just met him a month ago," I muttered, straining to keep my voice neutral.
"He kissed me last night! And we slept together!" she was still squealing, but now it sounded like it was far away. I felt dizzy and I definitely needed to vomit.
"Wha?" was all I could manage through my battle with nausea.
"Well, not like that," Alice corrected, "I mean, he kissed me on the cheek, and we actually slept."
The sudden relief was not good for my equilibrium, I needed to sit down.
"And I was so nervous and excited when I woke up, and he looked so beautiful and peaceful, that I snuck out. I just knew that he would look into my eyes and know something was different if I stayed!" her voice was back to giving me a headache. Why was I friends with her again?
"When did you leave?" I asked, suddenly afraid.
"Like, one a.m.?" she said, waving her hand negligently, "It doesn't matter."
"Doesn't matter?! You didn't wake him up before you left?" I was half yelling at that point, suddenly certain that she hadn't, needing desperately to be wrong.
"Why would I?" she shouted back, her eyes drilling into mine.
Had I been more rational, less emotional, I would shut up right then. I wasn't.
"Are you trying to ruin his life?!" I wailed, glaring at her.
"What, so he didn't get to go out and do whatever illegal things he normally does for one freakin' night. God Bella!" Her face was red with anger and her fists were clenched at her sides, "Maybe he won't want to now that he has me!"
"You don't know anything about him!" I wanted to slap her so bad, but years of friendship held me back.
"Maybe I don't know everything about him that you know, Bella, but let me tell you what I do know. I know he likes me. I know he spends time with me by choice. I know he would never like you like you want him to, that he only started spending time with you cause Ms. Denali made him, and cause Gracie likes you so much. I know you're pathetic. That's what I know!" I stood there frozen as she hurled the words like knives, each one stabbing into me, until I was a bloody mess.
"I hate you," I whispered, and slammed the door in her face.
I raced up to my room, throwing myself on the bed and screaming into my pillow. I cried until I was exhausted, but I couldn't sleep. I needed to see Jasper, to know if what Alice said was true. I stumbled out to my truck, driving on auto-pilot to his house. My hands were tight around the steering wheel, my breathing harsh in the silence.
I lurched to a halt in front of the house, with half a mind to turn around and abandon this self-destructive urge, but Jasper was standing in his doorway looking at me.
I slid out of the truck and walked slowly toward him, each step required extreme effort.
"Hey," I greeted him, my voice barely audible.
"Bella," his face was impassive.
"Do you still have a job?" I asked tentatively, knowing that I wouldn't be able to say what I needed to say without knowing that crucial piece of information.
"Yeah, I have to work tonight though," he answered, face still blank.
I shoved my hands into my pockets, unable to speak the words that could end our friendship.
"Alice called. She said you guys got in a fight?" he said it like he couldn't believe it.
"Alice!" I hissed. My earlier anger returned and all my intentions of having a civilized conversation flew out the window.
"I don't understand…" he looked confused and worried, and my already damaged heart crumbled a little more at the lines that had returned to his forehead.
"The thing is…I can't do this anymore…" I choked on a sob before continuing, "I've seen this movie, Jasper, and frankly the ending sucks for me. I love you. I should have told you. I definitely shouldn't have told Alice that she could have you…but I did. And I thought…I don't know...maybe I thought you wouldn't like her…which is ridiculous, because look at her, and look at me. Maybe I thought being your friend was enough. Or that by helping you and G.G., I would get to be special in your life, even if you didn't love me. But I just…I'm not cut out to be Duckie…I refuse to be Duckie. I deserve to be the leading lady in my own life, and you…you don't need me hovering in the background of your life, forever jealous." I was staring at the door behind Jasper's head for my entire speech, but I risked a glance at his face. He looked dazed, and I rushed on.
"I'm going to my mom's in Arizona for Christmas. And I don't think I'm coming back," I said, making the decision in the heat of the moment, "Tell G.G. I love her, and…and…that I'm sorry I'm breaking my promise to her, but she can call me anytime." I was hiccuping and there were tears running down my face again, mixing with snot and freezing on my chin in the cold air. I wanted to say more, or maybe just the same things I'd just said, until my head convinced my heart that I was doing the right thing. I threw my arms around Jasper's stiff form, rose to my tiptoes and kissed his jaw, just below his ear. "I'll miss you…" I whispered. I turned and ran. Back to my truck. Back to my house. And then…all the way to Phoenix.
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A/N: *Covers head and ducks rotten tomatoes* I know it wasn't a happy ending, but I needed it to be that way. I could be convinced to right a sequel and/or companion piece once the "For The Love of Jasper" contest is over. Let me know if you'd be interested. I need to shout out a super huge THANK YOU to beautifulmoreso and courttruoc for their many hours of help with both inspiration and editing!!! I love you ladies! Also, I just want everyone to know that my mom (yeah, you read that right) also edited for me. She's never seen or read Twilight, but did it anyway!! I think I win the "best mom" competition! Look me up in the twitter-verse as MissJBacon and we can have a Twitter party!