Alternate conversation after castle tells Kate that he loves her.
He stared at her with unwavering focus. How many times he had looked at her face how couldn't say, by now he knew every little tiny thing about her face, which bits of it light up the most in the right light the movement her mouth makes when she smiles, when she frowns, when she laughs, when she yells and when so is trying to keep everything on the inside. He could read her like a book which was slightly ironic when he thought about it. She the detective and he the writer. They had absolutely nothing that would make them cross paths, that was, until some psychopath decided to kill people based on his books. When they met he was a cocky douche and she a buckled down no nonsense detective. Now they had changed more that I'm sure that if there past selves met their present selves they honestly wouldn't recognise each other. He was thinking about her more often then he used to. Originally he had just wanted to follow her around and use her as inspiration for his book, then he found out just how much fun he could have chasing down bad guys and locking up scum, and even after that wore slightly thin he found out how much Beckett meant to him. For he was under no illusion that he loved her, he knew it, his family knew it, Lanie knew it even Esposito and Ryan knew it, the only one who remained ignorant was Kate.
At least that was what he thought anyway.
Kate knew that he loved her. She had known since he had decided to tell her while she had a bullet in her chest. But she gave him an out, she knew that she couldn't be his while everything in her life was the way it was. She had one driving force and she had no idea how she could live without it. But what she did know was that she couldn't be with him until she had sorted her self first. She just hoped that he would wait for her, even though she wasn't completely sure why, she loved him.
He was staring at her because her case was open again. The one that would get her killed, the one that would get her killed if she kept digging. It was his job to protect her from herself and the people out to get her. If she kept digging they would come for her he knew it. He had to try and convince her that it wasn't a good idea for her to be involved with this case. They were keeping it from Gates because Beckett knew that if she found out then she would be benched. He figured that this would probably be the best way to get her out of harms way but that would also force him into a difficult position, she would just keep going on the outside and that would be even more dangerous, also she would be livid and probably never talk to him again. That was something he couldn't live with. So he stared at her to try and figure out what kind of mood she was in and sure enough her face was flat, she was holding everything in. he knew that she was literally bursting inside, this case would destroy her and he knew it. He was hiding something from her and if she knew what he was hiding she would kill him.
"Hey castle, I'm going home." She said as she walked past him, she noticed how vague he looked and figured he was thinking. She walked out of the precinct to go home and mull over the case, she would never stop and he knew it. The only way he could think of to make her stop, to save her life was to tell her about his deal. He knew it would destroy any feelings that she had for him but it was the only way. She couldn't die he almost lost her once he couldn't go through that again. It nearly killed him last time and he knew it would destroy him if she died. He rose from his chair and went outside to catch a cab to go to Beckett's place.
Once he had reached her place he knocked on the door and Kate invited him inside. She could tell there was something on his mind, and she could probably guess.
"Castle, what's going on?" she asked taking a step towards him.
"There is just something I have to tell you and I need you to hear me out and keep calm, because you may not like what you hear but just wait for me to finish."
"Ok Castle, but you should know that you are kind of freaking me out here." He nodded his head and started his story, the lies he had been using to save her life, to keep her safe.
"Before he died Montgomery sent a package with information harmful to the people behind your mother's murder to a friend, Montgomery's friend stuck a deal with them. If they left you alone the package and the information inside would never see the light of day, but they made one condition you had to back off, and that's the reason your alive Kate"
"How do you know all this?"
"In order for the deal to work someone had to make sure you weren't pursuing it"
"You're a part of this." Her face radiated disgust and he could feel everything crumbling around him.
"I was trying to keep you safe"
"By lying to me about the most important thing in my life?"
"That lie was the only thing that was protecting you"
"Castle I didn't need protection I needed a lead and you sat on one for a whole year. Who is this person how do I find him?"
"He's a voice on the phone a shadow in a parking garage"
"You met with him, how do you know that he is not behind my mum's murder? How do you know he's not involved? And how the hell could you do this?"
"Because I love you"
She took a half step back and her mouth opened in shock, of course she knew that he loved her. He was talking again but Kate was not taking any of it in. he took her silence as an answer and started to walk towards the door. She blocked his exit and stared into his eyes, they wouldn't meet hers.
"Castle, I couldn't be with you before. My head was filled with nothing but revenge, but now." She couldn't finish that sentence. Maybe she didn't want to, so he finished it for her. Finally looking into her eyes he knew what it was she couldn't say aloud and he knew how to say it for her.
"You love me." She nodded her head and with that he moved to close the distance between them and sealed their love with a kiss. It didn't last very long but with four years of love and passion pouring out into one kiss it was memorable to say the least.