This fic is going to be a re upload, translation and continuation of my fic of the same name, which I posted when I was 15 and never even got close to finishing.
I have taken new inspiration from the song "Sweet but psycho" by ava max, so I recommend listening to it if you want a feeling of how Bella will develop.
Please bear with me in terms of spelling and grammar, because English is not my native language, and I am a bit rusty. Constructive criticism is appreciated.
I do not own twilight, Sweet but psycho, or any material I reference.
That name…that name broke through every single wall I had put up around myself for the last few months. Edward… It made the fire inside my spark.
When he left, something cracked inside me. Something I did not understand, though it had always been inside me, and I had always surprised it. Something dark and powerful.
First there was grief. I had grown so attached to him that when he was gone, I was a wreck. I would not sleep, or read, or talk to anyone. I barely ate, and became emancipated. A shell of myself.
That ended when Charlie said he wanted to send me away, back to Florida. To pacify him I asked Jessica to join me in some much needed, though dreaded shopping. I aw myself in the floor length mirror, holding up a dress in the size I had been wearing since I was fourteen. I was almost swimming in it.
I finally saw myself as I was: Broken. Nothing but a ghost. I might as well have been dead. At that moment, while Jessica falsely told me how good I looked, a fire flared up deep inside my stomach. And so the next phase began: Rage. I guess I did not follow the typical stages of grief.
I kept it under wraps while Jessica was still around, but I knew she could sense it. I saw just the slightest hint of fear in her eyes.
That evening when I came home I went through the house like a whirlwind, destroying every thing that even vaguely reminded me of him, though there was not much. The bed sheets he had laid on beside me were torn to shreds. The old childhood drawings he had questioned me about were burned. The artefacts he left under my floor shattered and thrown away. And I demanded from Charlie that he cut down the tree Edward had used to enter my room.
It worried Charlie, but he was happy to do it, to make me happy. Because that was the first time I had truly shown emotions since Edward left.
The rage only lasted a few weeks before starting to sizzle out. There was not much to be angry about in boring little forks. That led me to my current stage: Defiance.
Edward had held me down, I realized, and stopped me from developing. So I started to experiment. I dyed my hair, first a turquoise blue, and then a dark yet fiery red, like old wine. Like drying blood.
I took up hobbies that challenged me. Motor cycling. Archery. Martial arts. Though I would probably never be an expert, little helpless Bella was not so helpless anymore.
Charlie watched with worry, though he supported me. He was happy that I was becoming my own person.
In an attempt to help me make more friends he suggested I join him in going to a cookout at the reservation. I immediately sensed that Jacob and his friends were not humans. I confronted them a little way into the forest, and witnessed Paul shift into a huge wolf after I taunted him.
From then on I regularly hung out with them at the reservation, being taught how to fix my bike, exploring the woods on their backs as they ran as wolves, and teasingly making out with the single ones.
For a while I was happy. But slowly the nagging feeling came back, burning deep inside my gut. It called me to do something, to close the chapter of my life that was Edward.
That is wat lead me here. I mapped out the woods with help of the wolves, but undertook the trek to the meadow alone. Edward's meadow. In winter it was much less enchanting then it had been, though it still held a certain beauty.
I placed my hand on the scar on the tree Edward had nearly snap[ped in half to demonstrate his strength. In hindsight the display was laughable, like a tantrum from a small child. Nothing to fear.
I mused about the resemblance between the scar on the tree, and the bite mark left by James on my wrist. Suddenly however, I whirled around as a twig snapped behind me, and came face to face with Laurent.
He betrayed to me his purpose here. To kill me, both to feed, and to avenge James for Victoria. I could only snort. "You are betraying Victoria, just to have a taste of me?"
He growls. "I am not betraying her. When you are dead, she shall have peace again."
I shook my head. "No she won't. the anger will stay inside her. She will keep craving revenge, but her purpose will be gone if I am dead. And do you know what she will do then?"
Laurent stares at me questioningly. I grin. "She will go after the Cullens. A fight she cannot win."
His brow furrows, and he is just about to speak when his red eyes snap up, looking at a space behind me in the forest. He whispers a barely audible no, and stumbled a step back.
When I turn and look I see five figures emerge, dressed in long, midnight black cloaks, two with the hood raised, disguising their face. The one at the front speaks, his voice cold and full of cruel glee. "Yes…"
I am surprised to recognize him, though the memory is vague. I saw him on the portrait, all those months ago in Carlisle's study. The night time patron of the arts…. Aro Volturi.
The…something, inside me stirs, the fire burning hotter again.
They approach, the ones behind Aro fanning out, surrounding Laurent as I step out of their way, ignoring me for now.
They grab his arms and force him down to the ground, on His knees. He gasps and pleads, looking up as as Aro slowly reaches out, his finger tips grazing Laurent's cheek. N-No!
Aro slowly shakes his head, his eyes glazing over somewhat, making me wonder what he is doing. It reminds me of when Alice is having a vision. Within the blink of an eye a tearing sound makes nearby birds flee from the trees, as he tears Laurent's head clean off.
The fire inside me has become an inferno, raging and swirling, breaking open the shell I had formed around it. My lips curl into a grin. The Volturi's heads all snap up to look at me as my giggle rings across the clearing. One of the ones that had been at the back, a big, dark haired man mumbles to the vampire beside him. "has she gone insane?"
Aro takes a step to approach me, emotions I could not pinpoint swirling in his eyes, with one at the forefront: Facination.