Hello. This is my first fan-fiction. If you guys like it, I can work from this and make it a chapter story. My writing was very much inspired by YellowBella/Mary Elizabeth. Her Twilight fan-fiction of Dusty ripped my heart out and the story has been with me ever since. So if you take the time to read this and have read Dusty, you'll see what I'm talking about. That being said, I hope to find my style over time if I'm able to write more.
As Kristoff, I see Evan Peters. Think AHS Season 1 when he played Tate and/or AHS Season 3 when he played a frat boy.
As Anna, I see Alexis Bledel. If you google her name and type red hair, you'll see a real life Anna. :)
I do not own these characters. Disney does.
Him
She's under me. Hands in my hair, Lips on mine. She feels incredible. Her taste and her smell has my senses going wild. She has no idea what she does to me. Her. Always her. I'm so fucking high right now. She knows I am. I feel free. Invisible. I trace her freckles that is scattered along her collarbone with my tongue. Her back arches and I pull myself away from her skin long enough to look at her. She blushes. Light pink colors her cheeks. Her hands run down my arms lightly, sending chills up my spine. Then she looks up at me. All I see is blue. Fucking Blue. Blue haunts me. Blue knows. Blue punches me in the gut. It takes my breath away. I buck myself into her heat. She still has her panties on. But she's soaked. Her dress is bunch around her waist. Her eyes roll back. Its so fucking perfect to watch. I reach down. Move her panties to the side. I tease her. Slowly. She's perfect. She's mine. Has always been.
"Anna"
I blow on her clit. She pulls my hair. Her eyes squeeze shut.
"I need you to look at me, baby."
She's my calm. My center. She's also my storm and my fucking nightmare. She opens her eyes and looks at me. Her eyes are so fucking blue and blue won't stop haunting me.
"Watch me anna...watch me love you with my mouth."
She moans. I've got her attention. My fingers are in and out of her. In and out. In and out. Her skin is flushed. Red hair sticks to her face from sweat. Her lips look stung and her mouth is slack. She is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I lower my mouth on her clit. Her eyes close shut. No princess. You're gonna watch. My other hand pinches the delicate skin below her entrance. She yelps. Her eyes open. She knows what I want. I smirk at her while my face is centered on her. My tongue works in between her folds. She's bucking into mouth. She's close. So fucking close. My hands lift her hips up. I hold her steady. This is what love does. Love is wild. Love is crazy. Love is flushed skin and blue fucking eyes. She's grabbing my sheets and my girl comes on my tongue. I kiss her clit and pull my fingers out. My dick is already out of my pants. I'm on my knees and in between her. She's watching me. I rub my fingers that were just inside of her on my dick. I smell her scent. Her juice and I get drunk on it. On her. She is spread out before me. I take my dick and rub it thru her folds. I stroke my cock with my hand and the other starts exploring her body. She's watching me. Her eyes still heavy.
"See what you do to me, girl. Always you."
My stroke picks up speed. She touches herself. Small hands cover small breast.
"You drive me crazy, princess. Fucking crazy."
I speak in rushed, hushed tones. My eyes are heavy. Love makes me come undone. Love makes you fly. I release myself all over her belly. I'm out of breath. I move over the top of her. I kiss down her neck, burying my face in the spot where neck meets shoulder. She exhales. She feels so fucking. She makes me crazy. She moves her delicate hands back into my hair. I hear my phone buzz. I know who it is. She knows who it is. I kiss her quick. I move from her, zip my pants up. I get her cleaned up. Help her dress. My phone buzzes again.
"I guess you're leaving me for her?"
I don't answer. She doesn't expect one. I gather my things. I kiss her head. She looks up at me. Blue eyes knowing. Blue eyes hurting. It hurts. So fucking much. She's my light. I'm her darkness. I always bring her darkness.
"Why her Kristoff and not me?"
I squeezed my eyes shut. I'm already at her closed door. I open it. I leave my girl. Leaving my darkness behind.
The living room is dark, smoky, and smells like shit. Crowded. People in every fucking corner. Hans sees me from across the room. He smirks. He is such a dick. He knows where I've been. He says I need to let her go. He needs to mind his own fucking business. We meet in the middle of the room. He pulls white out of his pocket. I pull green out of mine. I think of my girl and what she asked me before I left. I feel uneasy about it. I go upstairs. Still dark, still smoky, and still smells like shit. But its quiet. Off limits to guest. I think of my girl's face. I cause her so much pain. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I run my hands thru my hair and pull. I'm out of control. I feel her all over me. I slam my bedroom door. Grab the mirror from my nightstand. Open the bag and pour. Fuck yes. All mine (like her, I think). Also her. I roll my 20 up, cut up the white powder and I snort. It burns up my nose numbing it and my throat. I close my eyes feeling all my blood rush to my head. My pupils are dilating. My heartbeat pounds in my ears. It's not enough. Not enough to forget. I snort another. And then another. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I have one more line to do. I see a drop of blood on my shirt. Fuck, my nose beings to bleed. I run my hand along the bottom, smearing red on my face and hand. I feel out of control. I have one more line left. I'm so fucking high now. I feel her effects already. One more wont kill me. Or maybe it will. And I don't give a shit. I bend my head down, green at my nose, and go to snort. My door opens. Fucking Hans I think. I glance up and I see her. She's never seen me like this before. In this position. I try to hide this part of me from here. The throw the 20 down. I jump up.
"What the fuck Anna? Why are you here? Go the fuck home"
She kicks in full gear. Thank fuck. I couldn't deal with Anna if I wasn't. I look over at her. She's crying. I always make her cry.
"What are you doing princess girl?"
She walks over to me. She glares at me. Blue haunts me again. Always. Then she shoves my mirror and my powder off the table onto the floor. My eyes go wide. Fucking crazy, this girl. Love makes you do crazy. She is my crazy.
"What the fuck are you doing!?"
I yell. I'm yelling at my girl. My habit controls me. I lost control of my habit a long time ago. Baby begins hitting my chest. She punches, shoves, scratches me. I let her. She yells. She cries. I fucking take it. I grab her by the arms. She stops. I forgotten about the mess on my face.
"Kristoff. Look at me."
She grabs my face. She sees the blood on my face. She crooks her head to the side. Eyes wide, still full of tears.
"Kristoff. Why?"
She knows I can't answer her question. I never can. I fall to my knees and wrap my arms around her center. She's warm. Like always. My girl cradles my head. What a fucking pair we are. Love is ugly. I'm no good for her. I never have been. But she makes it feel right. so fucking right. I hold on. Because I'm selfish. I say her name over and over. I'm begging for her to forgive me.
Her
My boy says my name like a prayer. Blood on his face, his knees on the floor, head on my stomach. I feel so helpless. He makes me feel this way. I hate him for it. He minds fucks me every which way. I run my fingers thru his blonde hair. Repeating myself over and over. He's too far gone. But I say it anyways.
"Its okay Kristoff, I love you, god I love you." Its not okay, Kristoff. None of this is. Love pulls you in and under. It drowns you and weighs you down.
His face is soaked. So is my shirt. Wet tears and snot. Its ugly. But he is beautiful.
I've seen him high but I've never seen him use. I haven't processed what I saw yet. He beings to calm. His tears stop falling. I think of how love brought us here. I think of tragic love stories. How everyone loves tragic love stories. We read them. We watch them. Except in real life. In our life. No one loves ours. This is our life. He is my life. And this is our love story.
Tragic. Beautiful. Raw.
People say he's trouble. He is. He's my boy. He's my trouble. Still holding on tight. Like I might fly away if he lets go. If I were smart, I would. I continue to run my fingers in his hair. I don't want to move but I need to clean him up. He won't be able to sleep. He's full of coke. The bags under his eyes tell me he hasn't slept in days. He'll crash soon. Recharging for another binge. I look down at him.
"Kristoff, I…I need to clean you up. You've got blood all over your face. Your shirt. Please let me clean you up."
He doesn't say anything but moves to sit up. He won't look at me. Ashamed. Embarrassed. I look him over though. I look in his eyes. Almost black, a small amount of brown. Brown that I love so much. God he is so fucking high. I reach my hand out. He takes hold of it and I lead him to the bathroom. I turn the dim light on that's above the shower. The bright one will hurt his eyes. He sits down on the toilet. I turn the faucet on. Running hot water in the sink. Its steams the mirror. Its quiet. I walk over to him. Reach for the bottom of his shirt and pull it up over his head. His hair sticks up everywhere. I run my hands thru it to push it down. Any reason to touch him. He grabs my hips, pulling me into him. His places his head on my stomach. I don't have the energy for this but I continue.
"Kristoff. Look up.".
I hear him snort. But he looks up. My fingers brush his cheek. He leans into them. I walk out of his hold. I get the washrag and wet it. I return and gently place the rag under his nose. He hates his nose. He thinks its too big. But I think its perfect. I run the rag along his face and then his hand and remove the blood.
He lets his fingertips brush down my arm. His touch gives me goose bumps. He looks beaten. Worn. Bruised. He stands, takes my hand and we leave the bathroom. He lets go like he always does and lays down on his bed.
"Come here princess…come lay next to me."
He smiles at me. I stand at the end of the bed deciding if I should go or stay.
"Come on Anna. I need you right now. I need to feel you next to me. You make it go away"
Of course he does. Same song and dance for us. I've never doubted his love for me. Even through all of our fucked up chaos. I crawl up the bed to him. We face each other. I'm staring into black orbs that were once bright. Now, they're cloudy. Always sad. Always black. My boy is in there somewhere. I hope he makes it out alive. People don't call what we have Love. I heard some call it obsession. Addiction and I agree its fucked up. But for me, Love is Kristoff. Love stands at 6'4, with blonde, messy hair, and what should be brown eyes. Love is the teenage boy that lived across the street. Who would walk me home from school. Love is kisses on cheeks and shy smiles. Love is sneaking in windows at night and carnival lights. He sees me thinking and traces along my nose, then down my lips and around them.
"You know I love you right?" He says it with confidence. He is so sure of it. He'd write it in blood if I asked him to. I'm the only thing he wants to feel but not enough to make him stop. It's so fucked up. I sigh.
"I know Kristoff."
"Do you love me?" His eyes says he's afraid of my answer. I understand why he doubts me but I've never failed him. He knows that I never would but he needs to hear it.
"You know I do Boy." He smiles. My beautiful boy smiles at me. I smile back. Because thats all I can do. I intended to come here and tell him to stay away from me. I wouldn't have meant it. But I needed to yell at him. Try to make him feel as bad as he makes me feel when he leaves me for her.
"I'm going to stop. I'm going to get help Anna." I give him a small smile. He has tried before. He says he can do it on his own. But he relapses. So I'll love him the way he is.
"I mean it."
I shake my head and lean over. I kiss his nose. I whisper his nickname in his ear.
"I need to go Trouble"
He smiles. I smile. And in this moment we pretend everything is okay. That tomorrow will be different. We pretend well. We pretend often. But when I leave here, she'll come out to play.
Him
I walk Anna out to her car. I kiss her goodnight. Her lips are soft and all I want to do is kiss her. I finally release her. I don't want to. But she has to go.
"Goodnight Anna"
She smiles. Her fucking smile is everything. She leaves me and I watch until I no longer see her lights. I walk inside. I need a fucking drink after what happened upstairs. She shouldn't have seen me like that. I move through all these fucking people. I don't know most of them. And the ones I do know, I don't like. I make it to the kitchen. I pour a shot of liquor. Bring it to my lips and swallow. It burns. But it feels so fucking good. Hans walks over and slaps me on my back.
"What the fuck was Anna doing here tonight?"
I ignore him and pour another shot. I need to feel the burn again. He's still standing there. Fuck, go away. He doesn't. I tell him to mind his own business. He rolls his eyes.
"She is so much better off without you. She's too fucking good to put up with your shit." What he says pisses me off. I throw the shot glass against the window. It shatters. He starts to laugh.
"Fuck you, asshole"
He's right though and I hate him. I hate him so fucking much. I'm pretty sure he has a thing for my girl. He has everyone snowed. Including Anna. He deals but doesn't use. I grab the liquor bottle and turn it up. Fuck him. Fuck everything.
"Easy there buddy." He is smirking. Fuck him, I don't need this shit. I drop the bottle on the countertop with a loud thud. We have an audience now but I don't give a shit.
"I'm not your fucking buddy." I say it thru clinch teeth. I grab my hair. My high is already wearing off. I'm agitated. The walls are closing in on me. I need to get out of here before I kick his ass. I look at the shards of glass everywhere. Hans leans in. I feel his breathe on my ear. I'm going to fucking kill him.
"Yeah, you're right. You're my fucking bitch." I grab him by his shirt and shove him against the wall. I have no control over my body right now. I glare at him. Someone is grabbing my shoulder. I shake him off.
"Stay the fuck away from Anna. If you go near her I will fucking kill you." I give him fair warning. Because I will kill him. I let go of him. He works with his shirt to lay it flat again. He turns and leaves. Fuck. I sniff and rub my nose. Everything he said tonight is true. He knows I'll be back to buy from him. So I am his fucking bitch. I run my hands in my hair. It's a mess. I'm a mess. I feel like I'm coming out of my skin. I look around the room. People have forgotten about my fight. I just need to forget. I see her across the room. Brown hair. She smiles. She's wasting her time. I just use her for blow jobs and blow. And right now I need more blow. She's got some. I nod towards the upstairs. I close my eyes and think of red hair and blue eyes. Freckles and pale skin. I tell myself I will try tomorrow. This is my last time. One more line. One more line. One more line. I open my bedroom door and she has our lines cut and ready. She hands me my 20 from the floor. I snort. She snorts. Thank fuck. The numbness is taking over. I lay on my bed, staring up at the ceiling. She asks if I want a blow job. I just really want her to go away, so i tell her to. I grab my phone. A message from Anna. Of course. My chest hurts. I rub it to make it stop. It doesn't.
Anna: I love you trouble.
She texted while I was snorting. I wish she were here. My girl is the fucking sun. She gives and I take. She's my high. I'm her low. She's the light and I'm the dark.
I'm so bad for her.
But together, we are so fucking good.
This is us. Our fucking love story...
It's tragic but it's also magic.
So I text love back.
Kristoff: I love you too, princess