In Which There is an Overload of Puzzles, a harry potter fanfic

Title: In Which There is an Overload of Puzzles

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: Harry/Draco

Summary: Voldemort has left behind one last piece of soul in an unlikely source, forcing Harry to indulge in one of his least favorite pastimes to finally win, once and for all. Draco helps.

Warnings: Disregards HBP, slash

Comments: I was doing a puzzle last night, and this popped into my head. I just had to write it out. Probably full of silliness and run-ons, but written with good intentions (grin). I'm still working on my multi-chaptered fic, An Elf's Lament, but one-shots are good for the soul. And so are reviews! Praise and criticism are both welcome.

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"How in the world did I, Savior of the World, Bloke with a Wicked Scar, and all that, end up in a locked room with my childhood rival attempting to solve a puzzle that is somehow the key to defeating my arch nemesis, the Bane of Muggles, Lord Voldemort himself?"

Harry sighed and once again attempted to shove his small purple puzzle piece into yet another small purple puzzle piece. He failed.

"Don't whine at me; it wasn't my choice to be in here. I just happen to be better at puzzles than you." Draco's green piece fit in perfectly with another. Harry glared at the blond, wishing that the other would look up to at least appreciate the glare. It was really first-rate. Harry had been practicing. Unfortunately, it had failed to intimidate Voldemort, but still, glares were useful to have in one's repertoire.

"Yes, yes, you're the master cryptographer or whatever of the Order. Therefore, it only makes sense that you work with me, the one who will have to fight against the…puzzle…when it's complete." Harry looked dubiously at the seemingly innocent pieces of cardboard.

"Glad you understand."

"Now what I don't understand is this – why in the world did Voldemort pick a Barney puzzle?"

Draco looked at the picture on the box. It showed a bright purple dinosaur made out of some sort of cloth, with a slightly smaller green dinosaur that was attempting to be female.

But "they look rather scary to me," was all Draco replied before fitting together another green piece.

Harry stared at him for a minute, entertaining the idea of buying a Barney costume for Halloween and creeping into the Slytherin's room singing twisted children's songs. No, too cruel. Maybe he'd dress up as a Dementor instead, Harry decided. Wait, that's been done.

"Okay, so once we complete this 2,000 piece monstrosity, what exactly is going to happen?" Dumbledore had explained this before, but at the time Harry had been half-unconscious from beating Voldemort for the last time – or what he thought would be the last time – and so hadn't really caught the details. About what he heard was this:

"Okay, Harry, well done and all, but this puzzle here…Voldemort's soul…immortality…comes with some assembly, of course, what doesn't these days? But anyways the Aurors have collected…eight different locations…Remus had a nice little vacation in the Bahamas, I hear, too bad all Auror work isn't that nice. Why, one time I…and once you put it together…" And Harry had blacked out for good.

When he awoke, he was in a small, disused classroom. The desks had been combined to make one large table, and Draco had been hard at work putting the pieces together. That was an hour or so ago, and now Draco was almost done with his half of the puzzle, and Harry had put together about…15 pieces. He had really been expecting a bit more of a rest before any new darkly spelled objects popped up.

Draco began explaining the Order's conjectures, and Harry forced himself to pay attention.

"After the puzzle is completed, we think that the last part of Voldemort's soul will take control of it and attempt to find a way back to his body. Thankfully, we burned the body, so it should be a little confused, and that's when you'll attack. Just…do your hero thing or whatever, Potter." Draco coughed a little and stopped speaking. Harry blinked. The explanation had been rather short.

"The Order knows nothing about this puzzle, does it?" Harry asked, crossing his arms and leaning back in his chair.

"Not a thing, really."

"Lovely. Well, let's just hurry up and put this together, then. I'm really looking forward to it. Death by puzzle." Harry banged his forehead on top of his mound of purple pieces and groaned.

When Draco spoke, his voice sounded a little worried. "Potter…are you okay? Still sane? Not gone mad yet?"

Harry snorted into the purple pile. "No, Malfoy, I'm fine. I just spent the last three days tracking down Voldemort's lair using my scar, which gave me a rather nasty headache, then spent all of last night either chasing him, battling him, or battling his little sidekicks. I killed four people and one dark lord. Then, tired as all get out and ready to finally settle down and have a normal life, I find out that 1) I get to put together a puzzle, one of my least favorite activities, if you must know, 2) the only companion I get happens to be a reformed Death Eater who I've been fighting with since I was eleven and 3) Voldemort is not, in fact, dead, which leads me to believe that he will never, ever fucking die. But no, I'm fine, and in fact I'm looking forward to this, because even death has got to be better than this fucked up existence centered around some madman who picks a Barney puzzle to hide his last little piece of soul in. So if you would just hurry up and finish so I can fight Voldemort for the sixth bloody time, that would be just peachy." A pause. Where were Harry's manners? "Please."

He could sense Draco staring at him. Well, he would stare too if the man he was relying upon to save his life in less than two hours started rambling about death and purple dinosaurs. Let him stare.

But then Draco got up and came around the table to crouch down next to Harry. Harry froze, keeping his face in the puzzle and refusing to look up. Ever since Draco had come to Hogwarts the summer before their seventh year, claiming that he had seen the light and decided the path of darkness was just not for him, thank you very much, Harry had been watching his former rival. This new Draco was more mature, more generous, more intelligent, and just well…more. And Harry thought about him more. And more. And more. Until pretty soon, Harry had become obsessed, but then the fight with Voldemort started, and he had thought he was going to die and never see Draco again and…then he'd woken up in this room, alive, vaguely conscious of the way things had turned out, and now he was going to fight again and this time he might not survive. Because really, luck just had to run out sometime, and Harry had had an awful lot of it lately, and wasn't it time for the wheel to spin down?

Draco's hand touched his shoulder, and he shivered.

"We can take a break if you'd like, Potter. The puzzle needs to be defeated within five to eight more hours to make sure Voldemort stays dead this time, but we have an hour or two." Draco's voice was low and soothing, and his hand traced slight circles upon Harry's shoulder. Harry thought vaguely that he would never wash that shoulder again, until he realized that the hand was only touching his robes anyway.

Finally, he managed to speak.

"Okay." It was more a croak than an actual word, but Draco understood. The blond stood up, pushing slightly at Harry's shoulders until the scarred boy also rose, and led him over to a corner with a mattress and blankets, the makeshift bed Harry had been brought in upon.

"Just lay down. Don't go to sleep, but clear your mind."

Soothed, Harry flopped onto the blankets and closed his eyes. He could feel Draco sitting on the floor next to the mattress, and he could almost taste his warmth. His right hand groped blindly out until it connected with Draco's stomach, and he grasped at the robes, holding them tightly. Clear his mind, Draco had ordered. There was only one thing on his mind at the moment. He had to clear it away, erase it…

Suddenly, he sat straight up, eyes open, and turned towards Draco. His right hand yanked, and Draco fell forward, right into his lap, right on top of him, and Harry could feel his warmth now, and then he could taste it, could taste Draco's lips and tongue and…

He pulled back; he was sure he was blushing, but he looked Draco straight in the eyes, hoping to find an answer to his question.

Draco's mouth twitched, and finally he laughed, not in scorn, but in actual amusement. "Is your mind clear now? Can we get back to the puzzle, to save the world and all that?"

Harry blushed even harder and nodded slightly. Obviously Draco thought this was a big joke. He should've known better than to just out and kiss a guy like that.

Then Draco leaned over and gave him a soft kiss on the lips. "We can continue this after we defeat the bad guy, okay?" And smiling softly, Draco headed back towards the table.

Harry's smile was less soft and more goofy.

---

Two hours later, Draco picked up the last purple piece and placed it carefully into the middle of the dinosaur's face. The two young men stared at the puzzle, waiting for it to explode or turn into a snake or something, but it appeared to be doing nothing.

"Should we just…burn it?" Harry suggested.

Draco opened his mouth to reply, but the puzzle gave off a rather rude noise and then Barney's mouth opened.

"You'll do no such thing!" The voice was a cross between Tom Riddle and Lord Voldemort, and the crazy, high edge did not suit Riddle's baritone at all. There was also a slight hiss at the S's.

Harry cautiously ventured a guess. "Voldemort?" Not the riskiest guess in the world; it was quite spot on, anyway.

"That's Lord Voldemort; why doesn't anyone ever get it right?" Barney's face looked slightly annoyed and slightly sad, making him seem constipated.

"Sorry, sorry, Lord Voldemort." Draco made a face at Harry, as if to say "Did you just apologize to the dark lord?" and Harry shrugged back and continued, nonchalantly, "I'm going to defeat you now."

"You cannot defeat me. I'm Lord Voldemort, and so long as my greater half lives, I shall be immortal! Stuck in a dinosaur, yes, but immortal nonetheless!" Barney's eyes shone with triumph, and the voice went from slightly mad to completely barking mad.

Harry wondered if the dinosaur could jump out of the puzzle and bite him. He decided to risk it. "I've already defeated the…uh…human-like form of Voldemort, so really, you're not very immortal anymore. And after I kill you, he won't be either."

And Harry calmly said Incendio and watched at the panic-stricken eyes of Barney went up in flames.

"You know, when I was a kid, and Dudley watched that show on TV every single afternoon, I really wanted to set the bloody thing on fire. And now I have."

Harry smiled in satisfaction, and Draco looked a little confused, but smiled at the dark-haired boy anyways. And that was the end of the great Lord Voldemort.

---

In the excitement of the next few days, Harry barely saw Draco. He had to make press releases (against his will), sign autographs (against his will), and attend lots and lots of parties (against his better judgment). But on the fifth Voldemort-free day, Harry decided to skip all those pesky mandatory meetings. It was still Christmas break. It was hard to imagine that he had managed to track down, fight, and kill Voldemort between the end of the semester and Christmas Day.

And now he was going to track down, kiss, and molest Draco.

With that amazingly well-thought out plan, he set off for the dungeons.

As he passed the disused classroom that from now on would be the Puzzle Place to his friends and Oh-my-gosh-I-kissed-Draco Place to himself, he decided a little peek wouldn't hurt. And of course, since Harry's good luck had not run out just yet, Draco was there, sitting on the mattress.

"Hey."

Scintillating, that's what they were. Harry didn't care. He crossed the room quickly, flopping down upon the mattress the same way he had six days before, and reached out his right hand. Draco was a lot less surprised this time at being yanked forward into Harry's lips, but just as happy and willing.

They didn't make it to the parties that night, but that was okay by both of them.

And no one ever dared to comment on their newfound affinity for puzzles, or the ever-growing series of completed Power Ranger puzzles decorating the halls of their flat, one for each anniversary.