You are the only "you"
Each footstep echoes loudly in my ear, vibrations feel bleak, empty. My heartbeat is what brings me to this expressionless moment. People surround me yet I am unnoticed, a shadow in existence. I, we walk together in incomplete silence; nothing sways us from reaching our destination. In this cold November morning, we hold on to our mistakes, nothing can erase them we must move on without questioning it. Everyone looks exhausted as if they did not get enough sleep, moody would describe their behavior best. The school building comes into view, leaving me with nothing. Without any expectations, I continue forward without a care into a new light, a light in which is dim. My old school looked bright compared to this one, maybe it is because I knew people there. Sure, I did not really have true friends there but I knew where my class was. People here look friendly unlike the ill-mannered jerks I had known. It felt odd to be here in a place so different…
"Are you lost?" A boy asks breaking my imaginary silence. His smile fake and eyes closed, he looked depressed in my opinion. Honey brown hair fell to his shoulder. He was well, beautiful.
"No but knowing my luck I might as well run into a brick wall." Came my sarcastic reply. He just kept smiling and told me he would take me to the office. Our footsteps were inconsistent with each other. Three awkward minutes passed before I stood in the office alone waiting for the secretary to come back with my schedule. The boy, Fuji had left in a hurry saying that he was late for practice and had to leave. That was a big relief on my part; I am not good with people. If it was an animal then great but humans, I just cannot relate to, I cannot understand their state-of-mind. It would be pointless even to try because my past attempts failed. Maybe I just need to open my mind more, let their idiotic tendencies devour me.
"Here's your schedule Shinjitsu-san." The secretary's voice surprised me so much that I jump before taking the schedule from her. She laughs while plopping down on her chair. It was not her fault she has just never saw anyone as jumpy as me before. Damn, I must have looked funny. Where was a mask when I needed one? Maybe I should ask Fuji where he got his, no that would be impolite. My thoughts spiraled downward to a place only I knew as I made my way to class one. The room was empty; it looked delicate to say the most. Innocence described the sunlight that poured freely into the room and the leaves that danced happily outside perfectly. I think I could get used to this place.
When class started, I was overlooked a shadow basking in an innocent glow. Each second passed by quickly, every note already written in my journal. My old school was further ahead in every subject and algebra I plainly just do not understand. Algebra goes completely against my logic, that or my way of thinking is completely unethical. To tell the truth I felt almost like a prodigy though I thoroughly abhorred the title that had once been mine. Who knows maybe I am a prodigy and I just refuse to believe it. Everything seemed to come easy to me, that is what people think when they watch me at work but they do not know the half of it. Lunch snuck up on me in the middle of algebra, I had just finished the last equation when I realized the room was vacant. Nothing is lonelier than an empty room and a cold silence. Handing over my assignment to the algebra folder or to a lone puppy without a place to go, the question had no answer but to me it was a puppy. Puppy or not the folder obediently took the papers from me and yipped happily.
In the hall voices string together awkward words to make sentences that do not make any sense whatsoever. People crowd lunch lines to get food, a territory unscathed by foul language. Cries heard in the not-so-far distance, an eternity of lies await those who enter. Random, thoughtless words inflict pain on unsuspecting victims. Nothing will ever change with such close-mindedness. All they see is an image and judge without considering the soul. The cruel do not deserve kindness but that is what they need. In truth, humans need what they do not expect to survive and grow strong.
"What's on your mind?" Fuji's words pierced through my bubble. A smile still adorned his face. What is up with that smile?
"Nothing in particular, why do you always wear a mask?" My question is random but did not permit a lie to go through it was too straightforward. He looked stunned, for a moment I almost thought he had died. My first day and I have already slaughtered someone's confidence without meaning to do so. What a great day…
"Well, you're persistent, aren't you?" Fuji smiled after recovering from his previous shock. That smile is really starting to irritate me. It just will not leave!
"No just curious as to why you look so happy when you are obviously not." I imitate his calm expression, his petty smile. After ten seconds I frown, I just felt too simulated. I will never smile for other's again only for myself. It is completely pointless to smile when I see no need, I am happy with a blank expression. Do people need more from me?
"That's an interesting observation." He replied holding on tightly to his composure. I only sigh; this conversation will have no effect. For that to occur one of us will have to admit defeat.
"We shall call a truce for now…." Yeah I just forfeited in order to salvage control over the argument. He will lose.
"You are unlike anyone." He chuckled before walking off. Standing here, I feel surrounded by each linking vibration. Nothing may escape me once I am determined. Whatever wall I face, wherever I may be heading I will never stray from my goal. Now I just have to figure out what he meant by that though I should not make too much of it.