Title: The Third Wheel
Fandom: Glee
Pairings: Rachel/Puck, Rachel/Puck/Santana, Eventual Rachel /Santana. The pairings may be a bit off putting but I promise that Pezberry is end game.
Rating: NC-17 for bad language and sexual themes. It isn't terribly graphic but it has some light smut.
Word Length: 5,834
Summery: Puck thinks he's pretty lucky to have two hot girlfriends. Too bad it doesn't turn out quite like he had hoped.
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, Fox and Ryan Murphy do. I only own the weirdness in my head.
A/N: There will be Finn bashing and while I love Puck, some may see him as being a little bashed as well. No beta so mistakes are my own. Thanks to Dylandahlgren for all the input and help.
Berry and I start dating around the end of junior year. She finally decides that she's done letting Finn punish her for the shit she pulled with me and puts herself ahead of him for once. By the time we end up together, Finn doesn't give a damn.
It isn't like we're in love or whatever. She's still a hot Jew and my mother and sister still loved her, so it makes sense. She just wants to feel like she matters to someone and I can do that.
I scale back on the sex with other chicks. I make sure not to hit any ass from our school. I don't stop screwing around all together because hey, Rachel isn't giving it up and the Puckzilla has needs. It's a good arrangement.
When Santana finds me in the hallway by my locker at school that morning I'm not surprised. She hasn't had any of this in months. She's having withdrawals. I tell her that I can't sleep with her because she has a history of blabbing to Berry about that kind of thing. She chuckled and says, "I have a way that you can have us both and you won't even have to lie to the smurfett about it."
I get a mental picture of the three of us doing the nasty together. A few seconds later it gets interrupted by an image of Rachel slapping me across the face for even suggesting some shit like that to her. "You're a crazy bitch," I laugh. "There's no way she'll be down for that. She's not giving it up as it is."
S smirked up at me and says, "If I could get her to be cool with the idea, would you be game?"
"Fuck yeah, I would!"
"Then just leave it to me. I gots this," she says raising her eyebrow. I scoff as she walks away. There was no way that Rachel Barbra Berry is going to agree to a threesome type relationship. I have to admire S though. She's willing to deal with the girl she hates most in the world just to be with me. I'm such a stud.
"Just don't tell her I had anything to do with this idea. I don't need her going all bat shit crazy on me," I yell after her.
At lunch I watch as Berry and S disappear into the girl's bathroom, I expect that my girl will come out all pissed off so I get out of the area as fast as I can. Maybe she'll cool down by the time school's over.
When I catch up to her after school it seems like maybe Santana decided not to ask my girlfriend if she could join us because Rachel is as bubbly as ever. She says that her dads are working late so I can come over. Of course I agree because she may not let me do much, but the girl can make out like a pro.
The drive to Berry's is pretty quick. As soon as we get upstairs to her really pink room, I'm ready to have a little, and I do mean a little, fun. Rachel on the other hand, has other ideas and wants to 'talk'. I would pick the girl that talks more than anyone I've ever known.
This talk ended way better than I thought it would. I actually paid attention the whole time. Maybe because she opened with "Noah, how do you feel about the dynamics of a polymerase relationships?" It's funny how I can barely understand half the stuff she says but I can easily translate what she just said to me.
"Wouldn't that be cheating babe?" Yeah I'm pretending like I don't have a clue. So what?
"Not if all parties involved are in agreement to the situation. I've done some research on the topic and I have read that it can be a very fulfilling kind of relationship," she beams. When exactly did she have time to look that shit up between lunch and now? Oh yeah, smart phone.
"Oh, well in that case I don't see why it would be a problem."
"Well, I was talking with Santana today and while our history has been one of great distress, I feel that if we all entered into a relationship we could resolve many of our negative feelings. I know that you are attracted to her and I do find her to be quite pleasing to the eye as well. This could be a very beneficial arrangement for all three of us." She doesn't know me nearly as well as she should. You'd think she'd know that all she had to say was, 'let's hook up with Santana' for me to be sold on the idea. But it's Rachel and she likes to talk about shit.
"Well babe," I say. "If that's something you want to try I'm all for it."
My girlfriend smiles wide before reaching out to her cell phone on the desk and opening it. She hits a key and holds it to her ear. "Hello," she starts, "He is quite receptive to our suggestion. The front door is unlocked, but please makes sure to lock it behind you. I will see you in a few minutes." I don't know what the hell Santana said to get her to agree to this and I really don't give a shit. All I know is that I'm about to have two hot chicks on my girl's bed.
At first we all make out. Rachel lets us feel her up and she returns the favor to Santana. Then she backs away while I bang Santana. She's still holding on to her V-card so she doesn't complain. That's what she signed up for, right? She plays with herself at the foot of the bed though, so I don't feel like a complete ass for not focusing on her. I can tell the girl under me is on the verge as she yells for Rachel to look at her. I guess her eyes were closed or something. Santana looks at her the whole time, but I don't really care where she's looking. I almost lose my concentration when S says, "Such a hot bod to be covered up by all those fugly sweaters. But I can totally work with the skirts." Rachel only whimpers and I get back to work.
The next week we're all back in the same room and I'm trying to convince girlfriend number one to go down on me. "Come on, babe," I say. "You gotta let me put it somewhere."
"Stop whining you pussy. It's so not hot," Santana says rolling her eyes.
"Fuck you, S. I don't whine," I snipe back.
"Could have fooled me," she snorts.
I open my mouth to say something else when girl number one goes into her peace maker routine. "San, it's okay. I should probably contribute a little more to this relationship." I thought it would be the two of them fighting the most, but Santana and I seem to go at it like bitches over a bone.
"I'm better at it," Santana says. "She doesn't know how to do it right." Santana unzips my pants. "I got you." Rachel doesn't argue and neither do I. At least I get my fucking blowjob.
S is a little rougher than usual. I feel more teeth than normal but I figure she's still mad about what ever it was that went on between her and that hot little red headed Cheerio Stacy Makin. I heard San decked her for no reason. I don't ask why because I'm not in the mood to hear her bitch about it.
The girls decide that nothing at school will change. Santana already stopped the slushies for glee club members and she and Quinn have declared that they 're the only ones allowed to verbally abuse any member of the club, though the gleeks are still a bit snarky with my girl. So there isn't much need for a change. They'll go on pretending that they can hardly stand each other. But when we're alone together it is obvious that they don't mind each other at all.
We carry on like that into the summer and then into fall. Santana won't have sex with me unless Rachel's there, even if Rach isn't actually involved. She mutters some shit about respect or whatever which kind of makes me laugh because Santana only respects her parents, Sue Sylvester, and Brittany. The person she's always respected the least was Rachel.
It 's weird when Santana, Quinn, and Britt start including Berry in their girl nights in. Santana has made it obvious that being seen by the top dogs of WMHS with Rachel, and enjoying her company at the same time is a no no. Quinn would usually rather poke out her eyeballs with a fork than spend too much time around my little diva, and as for Brittany, well I guess she makes the most sense in it all. She's never really had anything against Rach.
They start hanging out almost every weekend, though I think sometimes Q, or B end up bailing because I see them at a party or on a date with Sam or Artie around town sometimes when they're supposed to be with my girls. The girls don't complain though, which makes me happy that I don't have to hear about chick drama. This set up is such a sweet deal. All the fun with like none of the drama.
Imagine my surprise when S's little brother lets me in the house and tells me that Rachel is upstairs with his sister before he heads out. I figure that's a bonus for me because I was hoping I could get Rachel over anyway. S doesn't have a lock on her door which is kind of stupid considering all of the "entertaining" she's done in her bedroom. I hear loud music and recognize it from that Rent movie. (Rachel convinced me to watch it by telling me that two hot chicks had some make out time in it.) I think that's probably what sent little brother Lopez running from the house. I'm surprised S let Berry talk her into listening to one of her Broadway obsessions.
"All for you, San," I hear over the music. "Only you, baby." I've never heard Rachel talk like that, never in that tone. I didn't know her voice could make those noises. I don't bother knocking because well, why should I? I find girlfriend number one with her legs wrapped around girlfriend number two's shoulders. S is attacking Rachel's pussy with her tongue and working a couple of fingers inside at the same time. I take a minute to take it all in because she's never let me really see her from the waist down.
"What the hell!" I'm trying to be mad but I'm a red blooded teenaged dude for fuck sake. "You decided to have some fun without me?" Santana snaps her head up from between Rachel's thighs but keeps pumping fingers inside of her. Her lips are glistening from being in between my girl's thighs. Rachel looks embarrassed at being caught but not enough to tell S to stop.
"If you ever want to get all up in that," S nods towered the fingers she's pumping into Rachel, "she should start out with something smaller and work her way up. I'm just stretching her out a bit." It makes sense. I don't want to hurt her the first time I'm inside her. I don't want her to regret it the way my baby mama did.
Rachel shutters and I see her 'O' face for the first time. I never really noticed it before because I was always busy with S when she went over the edge. I can't understand what she's mumbling but it really doesn't matter. Fuck I want her so bad right now. "So you did the job," I say smiling. "My turn." I look over to Rachel.
"Don't be an asshole, Puck," Santana glares at me. I have no idea what is up her ass.
"What? You said you did it so I can get in there," I say.
"She's still getting used to my fingers you dick," she huffs.
"It's fine, San," Rachel smiles over at her. "He can do it if he wants. I suppose that I do owe him for all of the times I have denied him in his past sexual advances toward me."
"See," I say. "She wants it."
"Just screw me," S says raising an eyebrow and curling her lips. "You know you love fucking me."
"Can you be anymore greedy, S?" I grumble. "You knew when you got into this shit you were going to have to share me with her."
"Excuse me? Did Ray say anything about wanti….."
"Come on guys," Rachel cuts in. "Why are you fighting when we could be having so much more fun?" She looks over at me and grins. "San got me accurately prepared for you."
I smile triumphantly and start to take off all my clothes. S pouts a little but goes to kiss Berry, giving her a little taste of herself before she goes and sits down on the chair at her desk and positions herself toward the bed to get a good view. "You sure about this Rach?" I ask because I would never make her do anything she said no to.
"I believe so," she whispers.
I slip myself inside slowly as she braces herself with a cringe before slowly working up a rhythm. She won't look at me and it kind of feels weird. "Look at me, San," she says quietly. I look over at Santana and she's sitting with her eyes closed. But she isn't getting herself off the way Rachel usually does. "San open your eyes and look at me," she's a little louder now. S doesn't look.
I'm getting a little pissed at her attitude now. She's always been a bitch because she's Santana, but she needs to get over herself. "Damn it S, open your eyes."
She opens them now. She gives a little growl. "Oh hell naw, screw this shit," she stands from the chair. "I'm gonna take a shower. Hurry the fuck up." She stomps out of the room damn near as good as Rachel's 'diva storm outs'.
The girl below me starts to cry and it puts a damper on my hard on so I pull out. "Look," I say trying to calm her down. "S is just being S. She'll get over it."
"I know," Rachel says with a half smile. "I'll talk to her."
I start to get dressed and Rachel just sits on the bed watching me in silence. Santana walks back in. It's obvious that she didn't make it to the shower. "Wow, Puck," she says in her bitch voice. "I know I said to hurry up but, really?"
"I'm not in the mood for this shit," I say. "I'll see you two later on tonight at my place." I make it to the front door before I realize I left my keys and head back up the stairs.
"I'm done, Ray" I hear Santana say as I get to her bedroom door again. She's actually going to fight for me. I should break it up before it starts but hey, I didn't get off, may as well enjoy the show. "I can't do this anymore."
"San, this was all your idea," my girl says back.
"I was stupid."
"No, you weren't."
"Yes I was," Santana starts to get loud again. "Do you know how hard it was to see that? That was the one thing I had that he didn't. I could deal with sleeping with him because I already had. It was familiar. But watching him inside you like that." I can't believe what I'm hearing. Santana Bad Ass Mother Fucking Lopez is crying.
"I had to give him something," I hear Rachel say through her own damn tears. "He wasn't going to allow me to elude his advances forever."
"Come on baby, why does it have to be the three of us? It's not like he loves us. He'll go and screw ninety five percent of the Cheerios and then he'll be over it."
"You didn't see his face when we broke up before. I really hurt him and it was only after three days. Can you imagine what kind of damage it would do at this point? I won't allow myself to devastate him like that again." It's nice to know one of them actually gives a shit about my feelings, but dramatic much, Rach?
"It's shit like that that makes me love you so damn much," Santana says in a soft voice I've only ever heard her use with Brittany.
"But it's what's going to take you away from me too," Rachel's voice is almost a whisper.
"Forget what I just said," Santana says. "I got us into this and I'll be damned if I'm going to give you up just because it backfired a bit."
"San what are you talking abo…" Rachel starts.
I've had enough. I can't deal with this. They want each other. What the hell kind of shit is this? I burst into the room and growl. "I forgot my keys." I snatch them off of the floor and head toward the door again before I turn back around. "This is too much for me. You two are fucking crazy. It was hot at first but I can't deal with this jealousy crap. There can only be one alpha in this and I'm it. I can't share that seat with you S, so I'm moving on. I suggest you two do the same thing." I turn back around and head down stairs. I walk out of the front door and I don't turn back around.
Around nine o'clock Santana shows up at my door. She knows my mom's working graveyard and my sister's at a sleep over. We originally planned to hang at my place tonight. I let her in but it doesn't stop me from saying, "Didn't you hear me? I'm done with you."
"Yeah Puck, I heard you," she says almost like she's sorry. But she's Santana and I'm Puck and almost is all either of us will get. "Umm thanks."
"What for?" I say it with as much annoyance as I can.
"For letting her go."
"Why did you come up to me that day, S?" I ask. "The truth."
"Fair question," she answers. "I just spent the last few hours telling Rachel the truth about all of that and getting her to forgive me for manipulating the two of you."
"Now you can explain to me," I say seriously.
"I wanted her. I loved her and I wanted her. You had her, and the only way I could have her was to be with you too. So yeah, I played you." Santana says like it's all so simple. "I thought I could handle it. I figured I could control my jealousy if I was involved too, but in the end I freaked out a little every time I had to watch you touch her." Her lips curl a little, "Come on Puckerman, I'm a selfish bitch. This isn't a new concept." She chuckles at her admission. "That's why I always offered to do the things you wanted from her; because I hated seeing you touch her more than I hated you touching me. Not that you aren't a good lay, but you just weren't the one I wanted."
I glare at her. "You didn't even act like you liked her before. You treated her like trash."
She looks at me with something like understanding, which kind of freaks me out coming from her. "I know. And the more I wanted her the worse it got. Kind of like when a little boy likes a little girl on the playground so he shoves her in the mud. But one day I had enough of seeing her try to smile through all that hurt. Then I saw her crying in the bathroom and I knew I had to do something to make it better. So I stopped the slushies and most of the name calling." I look at her with an awkward expression on my face. When did Santana Lopez get a conscience? It's almost like she reads my mind because she chuckles and says, "I know, right. Me with a conscience? Trust me when I say that I tried everything to shut that little fucker up." She sighs and shakes her head before adding, "Bitch just wouldn't go away."
"You couldn't have just told her you wanted her and see what happened?"
"What was I going to say? Hey, you know what? I know I tormented you and treated you like total shit but will you please break up with your boyfriend and be with me, trust me, because I love you?" She jokes.
"You got her to agree to be in a threesome," I say back. I'm not even mad anymore, just curious and peeved.
"I told her that it would be a way to keep you happy without her having to give anything up if she didn't want to. I knew she'd agree because she got hurt so much already and she didn't want to be dumped again." She takes a breath and adds, "Jolly Green Giant and Jesse St. Douche-bag made sure to leave her with that insecurity." She's probably imagining punching them both if the look on her face means anything. I decide not to mention that she played a part in both of the Rachel/ Finn splits. "She knew you were still screwing around, but doing a better job of hiding it. She just accepted it." Santana looks a little irked when she said the last part, but then she keeps going. "I also knew that she was into me too. Brittany was actually the one to point it out after she realized how I felt about Ray." She doesn't even have the decency to look sorry for what she did anymore. "Oh please! Your pride hurts but you ain't heartbroken. "
"How would you know, Lopez?"
"It's been you and Ray since we started this. And even when I was with you I was looking at her. Can you say the same?" She scowls. I look at her with a little guilt of my own. It hasn't even been a week since I cheated last. But in all fairness, I have to find some way to occupy my time on those afternoons that S is at cheerios practice and Rachel is at one of her 'many' lessons. "I actually believed that you would keep it between us once you had both our fine asses, but you still couldn't keep it in your pants. She deserves better."
"And that's you?" I scoff. "You won't even be seen with her at school Santana. You aren't as mean as you were but you still call her names from time to time."
"I don't deny it." She looks at the floor. "She finally learned to trust me. I'm going to prove that I'm good enough to be with her. I'm going to hold her hand in front of people. I'll tell Q to stuff it when she says fucked up shit to her, but I don't think I'll have to. I'll keep the gleeks in check. No," She pauses , "the whole school. I'm going to show her that I love her, not just say it. Because I do ya know?"
I roll my eyes at her and say, "yeah, whatever."
"I do," she says louder. "I love her for pretty much every reason I used to hate her. She's proud of who she is. Her determination isn't hinged on the acceptance of her peers, well not most of the time anyway. She doesn't hope to get out of this crappy town, she knows she will. No matter how many times we put her down, she always comes back stronger than before. I was worried after Finnessa tried to break her, but she still overcame it." S sucks in a deep breath and continues. "She dresses the way she wants even though everyone tells her how terrible it is. She's stronger than any teenager I know. It's pretty much her way of saying 'fuck you' to everyone that tries to change her or wreck her. And as much as I hated on her talents, she has it in droves. I love all of her craziness. I love her. If there was one thing I learned after I lost B, it's that you have to show the people that you care about exactly how much, or you won't have them anymore."
"Carful, S," I half laugh. "Your not so ghetto is showing."
"I guess if I'm doing the honesty thing right now I should respect it enough to be truthful with my words," she mumbles. We all know her Daddy is a dentist and Lima Heights is a gated community, not some tough neighborhood in the shady part of town. The kids at school usually just humor her because either way, she's still kind of scary when she wants to be.
"I'll believe it when I see it," I sneer. I actually believe her. There was way too much sap coming from that fiery Latina's mouth not to be a little convincing.
"Whatever," she says, slipping back to the Santana that I've always known. "It's getting late and by ten, I best be gettin' my Berry on." She stops and chuckles, "Or should I say gettin' my Berry off." I guess sappy time is over.
She turns around to walk out the door all the while flipping me the bird. Without turning around she stops half way through the now opened door. "I have a peace offering, well three really. They'll be here in about half an hour."
True to her word, about thirty minutes later, I found three Carmel High cheerleaders smiling at me from my doorstep. I think Santana just made it all up to me.
Monday morning I watched as Santana and Rachel strolled down the halls of WMHS side by side smiling at each other. I guess I get what they say about hind sight being 20/20. Rachel gave in way too easily to Santana's suggestion. They never looked at me if they could help it. They were always looking at each other. But I'm a dude, I'm not suppose to notice that kind of shit. S wouldn't let me do anything if Berry wasn't around and now that I really think about it, I can see why she always offered herself up to me so my girl, wait …no her girl wouldn't have to. And all of those sleepovers that didn't really add up. Damn Puckeroni! When did you start having Finn moments? Next thing I know I'll be thinking I knocked some chick up by jizzing in a hot tub!
When I get to my locker I find an envelope with my name on it inside. I open it and unfold the piece of paper inside.
Noah,
I'm sure you do not wish to speak to me right now and I can understand that. I wish that things would have ended better than they did between us. You didn't deserve to be caught up in San's scheme, nor did you deserve to be betrayed by me. Santana told me that she spoke with you and I'm glad she did. You both needed to say your peace about the situation at hand. She was truthful with you and I owe you that much as well.
I said yes to the arrangement because I was attracted to her. I've had an unresolved crush on her even though it was completely irrational. No matter how much regrettable history we shared together, I couldn't shake it. I promise that she and I never even kissed until that day at my house, however, I have to admit that she and I did sleep together on a number of occasions without your knowledge once we all got together. It didn't happen every time we were alone. There were times when we just spent time together, cuddled, or just watched television. The first time she snuggled with me and sat through My Fair Lady without so much as trying to make out with me, was the day I knew that I really loved her, and I had no doubt she loved me back. Let's be honest, San is not the type to willingly sit through a musical without complaint, however, she did it because I had a particularly horrid day due to a confrontation I had over my sub-popularity status. That would be why Stacy Makin had the broken nose, by the way.
I'm so sorry that we hurt you. I do care for you, just not the same way as I do for her. I hope we get to be friends once again, but I understand if you need time.
Sincerely,
Rachel
P.S.
I hope the cheerleaders rocked your metaphoric world.
I guess a gold star would have been too much this time. Damn that girl for making it so hard to be pissed at her.
They were nowhere to be found at lunch, and I had a pretty good idea why, but when it came time for glee they sat next to each other. Q smiles, actually smiles and I figure she must have already known about them. She leans against Sam and winks at S. Brittany must know too because she's looking all starry eyed at them with a big ball of happy before she grabs one of Artie's hands.
Kurt and Mercedes whisper back and forth to each other. Mike looks at me like he's trying to get me to talk. Tina looks at Mike like she thinks he might be able to get something out of me, but I'm sure as hell not talking. They all want to know what's up, but they're all too afraid of S to actually question either of us.
I told Finn that Rachel and I broke up over the weekend but I didn't tell him why. He asked if I minded if he tried it again with her. I told him to go ahead because yeah, he's my best friend but the thought of Santana having to squirm while he hits on Rachel is kind of funny. Okay so she's right. I am an asshole, but it's so worth it. Besides, it's not my fault he hasn't put two and two together. Other than S, Q, B, Rachel, and me, I don't think anyone has actually realized there's more than an unexpected friendship thing going on. Wow, that's like Damn near half of glee.
All eyes are on Santana and Rachel until Finn walks in with that goofy smile on his face next to Mr. Schue. Glee goes as usual minus some of the usual crappy comments thrown Berry's way. When I see Finn following after Rachel and Santana when glee is over, I make sure to see what's going to happen next. I see him put his hand on Berry's back. Santana looks annoyed. Rachel shakes her head from side to side and puts space between her and Finn. I hear him mumble something at her just before Santana screams "Keep your hands to your damn self! You know what? Make that your hands and your eyes. She's given you chance after chance and you always blow it. It's my turn and I won't blow it!"
I walk a little closer. "Weren't you just with Puck last week?" Finn yells, "Now you're with her like you've been together. What the hell is up with that?"
Santana looks over at me from her place in the hallway. The other gleeks are staring. Great now they're all going to know that the Puckster got dumped by his two girlfriends. One of which has dumped me before over someone else. "I had Puck make a show of dating my girl so dumbasses like you, man-mountain, would stay the hell away from her. So while you all thought he was being a cheating jack ass, he was just being Puck." Thank god for S's quick thinking.
"They made out all the time," Finn says through gritted teeth. Nobody else says a word but they listen for the answer.
"I had to give up a little piece. We had to make it worth his while. But that's over now. Turns out I don't share so well," she says, looking just as pissy as Finn.
"So you turned her into a slut too?" Finn says. Uh oh. "Bad enough you took my virginity, but then you had to go and ….what take hers too?"
"She didn't take anything from you. You gave it to her freely and you know what? So did I!" I've never heard Berry that pissed. She's been treated like crap for years and now she snaps? "And another thing Finn Hudson," she says snarling up at him. "I do not appreciate the verbal abuse that you have directed at Santana. I loath such profane language in a public setting, however, in response to your abominable behavior and poor word selection I am inspired to say, fuck you, you self riotous prick!" Finn's eyes go wide just like mine and the rest of the club standing around the hall.
"Alright Babe, that's enough," Santana says with one of her famous devil smirks.
"But San, he can't talk to you like that," Rachel says loudly.
"Babe, I'm a Bad Ass Mother Fucker. I don't give a shit what he thinks of me. But I gotsta say after what you just said to that overgrown man-child, I really want to fuck the shit out of you right now."
"Santana," Rachel gasps.
"Hey, you can stand here and give me the 'what is and isn't appropriate' speech, or you can come with me and yell my name for a whole different reason."
Rachel bites down on her lower lip for a few seconds before she smiles that mega watt smile that I haven't seen in months and nods her head. She takes S's hand and lets her lead her out of the building. The hall is left with Brittany and Quinn giggling, and everyone else staring with their mouths open. I thought they were my girls but I guess they were always each others'. I smirk and check my phone to see which of the three Carmel hotties sent me my latest sext message. I think I can live without being a third wheel, but I sure don't mind being a fourth.