This video was not like the others on amazingPhil's channel. It didn't include him in it at all. It was just a worn out and tired Dan. The video started with silence. Then Dan decided to talk.
"I would have liked to have not had to worry about this video til we had reached the age of 90 but I knew I would probably had to do this sooner. I would have loved to tell you that Phil lived a long and happy life and died happy surrounded by loved ones, but I would be lying. But he wanted me to tell you everything so here I go.
"Phil seemed happy and bright and sunny but I could hear him talking to himself sometimes. Not the weird conversations you would expect but a debate, or an argument but it was one sided except one time I was able to hear. He was contemplating death. I was shocked, and hoped he would tell me about these conversations but it took him over a month. He told me how he felt nothing, was tired most of the day but enable to go to sleep at night. I would feel him tossing and turning at night. He told me nothing about the conversation I heard. I made sure that his life was easy so every gaming video I edited it and helped him edit the videos for his videos. I tried to crank out regular content so that now most of the pressure was on me. I would take him to the movies and to fancy restaurants just so he could relax and focus on us. But everyday I felt he was moving farther away from me. He didn't want to leave the flat towards the end. I realized that and decided I should keep a bigger eye on him. I slept in his bed every night even though we didn't have, well, we didn't,.." he gave a nervous chuckle. "but I still noticed he was moving more distant from reality. I knew that the day was about to come but I tried my hardest to prolong that date.
"one day I woke up and found that Phil wasn't in bed. I found a note on his pillow that said something I would never forget.
Dan,
Take care of yourself as much as you took care of me. This world didn't need me, neither did you. You just never told me you were annoyed of me, right? I was just there because you were too nice to say no to me. I was clingy and you deserve better then that. Find real love, that you won't feel compelled to keep because you feel sorry for them. Hope your days are happy.
Phil
And I found him with a belt around his neck, in a closet, and a bag over his head. I will never forget that day. I wish he would have told me these things in person and not a note. But that is in the past. Hope if you are feeling low, tell someone, if you are worried about someone's opinion about you, tell them. You don't want to tell them that through a letter.
And the video stopped. Dan was almost in tears. You could see it pained him to do that, but he knew he had to.