1. N O T E
WARNING - This chapter talks about depression and suicide so if your sensitive to that topic click out nowww.
A/N - Hey readers! So this is my first story, I hope it's not complete trash. Let me know your opinion in the comments. :)
Disclaimer - I do not own Fairy Tail, if I did NaLu would've been official a while ago. 3
Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock.
The sounds of my clock ticking is all I've heard in this endless silence. The complete opposite of what I was used to hearing. Its been two months since Fairy Tail split. Two months of me being alone with no one to talk to. It wasn't always like this.
Usually it's Natsu yelling about a mission, Erza begging me for cake, Gray asking to wear my clothes. That's my crazy, dysfunctional life. Well, at least was my life.
They left, without looking back. The fact that my family left to train wasn't what hurt. What hurt the most was how they could leave without a word. I know, it's not about me. But it would've been nice to know that their okay. It would've been nice to know that they would leave. It would've been nice to know they would come back. But they didn't, and because of that i'm back to being alone. Exactly how I was when my mom died.
To top my perfect life off, I killed Aquarius. I killed my first friend, my moms best friend, my family. Breaking her key is one of my many actions that I will always regret. Every night, the scene replays in my mind. Her hateful, but sincere words always crawl back into my mind.
"Stop relying on others!"
"Only you can save your friends now!"
"Destroy my key!"
"You cry often,"
"You're a brat,"
"But, thank you for everything, Lucy
Tears quickly formed in my eyes as I remembered her last final moments. Nobody knows about what happened to Aquarius, and I prefer to keep it that way. Aquarius zodiac symbol that was once engraved into her chest, is now engraved to mine. I still have her magic, I feel it inside me. I just haven't been able to use it. Useless right? The Celestial King awarded me with this magic and I can't even use it.
Everything that's happened took a toll on me. I know that my other spirits want to comfort me, but all they do is remind me of how their able to come out, but Aquarius is stuck in the Spirit World. To deal with the pain, I had to turn off my emotions. I've been numb for a while. The only feeling I have left is sadness and hate. Hate for myself, if I didn't always rely on others, I could have been stronger. Most importantly she would still be here, but instead she had to pay for my mistakes. My happiness? Yeah, that's gone. My family? That's gone too.
I have nothing left to live for. That's why today I decided to be selfish. Today I decided to give in to my evil thoughts. Today I decided to end my worthless life. My name is Lucy Heartfilia, and this is my suicide note.
Finishing up my note, I quickly leave my house and head to the highest building I see. Looking around I head towards the library. Opening the doors quietly, I sneak in without a sound. My guiltiness overwhelms me but I can't let that stop me. Silently, I climb up the stairs onto the roof.
Looking up at the shining night sky, I mentally say sorry before jumping on to the edge. Looking down at the ground, it's a big fall. If I had to guess, it's around 60 feet fall. Taking one deep breath, I push away all the doubts in my thoughts. I close my eyes and gently lean myself off the railing, as I begin to fall.
The wind starts gushing through my hair, I feel the adrenaline run through my body as my heart rate speeds up. Memories flash through my brain like a movie, my friends, my family, smiling. Their smiles turn into sobs in front of a grave with my name on it.
That's when I realize that I don't want to die. I don't want them to feel what I felt. How could I do that to them? Opening my eyes I felt a new magic running through my veins. Almost the same as when I used Aquarius barrier against Jackal. This magic felt different tho, it felt more powerful, something I haven't felt in a long time.
Almost reaching the ground I hold out my hand and push all the magic out. Black water runs out my hands and onto my feet preventing me from falling any further. I wipe the sweat dripping down my face and slow my breathing. Using the water, I use it to take me to the ground.
Now that i'm safe, hundreds of thoughts go through my head. Why was the water black? Why did the magic feel evil? Why did it feel a thousand times more powerful than Urano Metria? I walk through the city confused as to how I was able to save myself that quickly. Its always taken me a long time to summon magic that strong. It had to be associated with some type of dark magic? Why else would its aura feel so evil? My eyes widen as I realize only one person has the answers I want. Out of all the ideas i've made, this has got to be the craziest one so far. Looking out to the ocean, I mumble to myself with a small smirk,
"Zeref, here I come."