Amazathon: The Inevitable Sequel

Takes place on Day 6 Night

Lex was tired. He'd managed to talk the others into letting him sleep down in the plane tonight. Daley had already checked on him twice since he'd been here. He had fiddled with the radio some , hoping to catch something on the night air, when the reception was best. He'd accomplished nothing but nearly falling off the plane's wing from lack of sleep. He yawned mightily.

Maybe if Eric wasn't so, uh, self involved every night, I could get some sleep. Hard to relax when I-am-too-young -to-even-want-to know is going on under his covers, the boy thought sourly. As his head lay down, his thought blended with his fantasies in a most familiar fashion.

" Step right up, don't be shy. If your asses cheat again, then you die. Hurry hurry hurry and come on up. It's time for another Amazathon! " came the familiar voice of Robert Russell. The ringmaster was back as was the enormous boxing ring.

Russell; " I'm gonna give you brats one more chance to get off the island, but, if you cheat this time, then you can say hello to my little friend!" He points out to the ocean.

A pissed off looking Godzilla is standing there, smoke coming from out of the corner of his mouth.

Jackson: " Who do we fight this time? What team?"

Russell, twirling his imaginary mustache , " No teams. I picked 'em out at random. Unlike some people, " he shoots a glare at Taylor, " I don't cheat."

Taylor : " Or bathe, or change clothes, "

Eric: " Or have a GPS, or beacon, or pilot's license."

Russell: " Draw to see who goes first and we'll get it on!"

Daley: " There's a phrase I bet he's caused nightmares with."

They draw straws. To his horror, Eric gets the short one.

Russell: " Well well, the chicken choker goes first. Hope your carpal tunnel is rested up Slick, 'cause you get to fight an ex Teen Titan. The Sultan of Speed himself, now a member of the Justice league, the Flash."

A red streak enter the ring . It's Wally West, the Flash.

Flash: " I'm the fastest man alive!"

Eric: " Bet you don't get many second dates with that problem."

Flash, a man of action, attacks .

Flash: " Pow! Pow!Pow!"

Eric : " Ow!Ow!Ow!"

Lex to Jackson, " Wasn't this on Dragonball Z once?"

Courtesy of a airplane spin, Eric goes flying off into the nearby jungle.

Russell : " Boy o Boy I haven't seen a take down that fast since Rosie O Donnel got invited to a lesbian Girl Scout convention! Who's next?"

Daley stepped nervously into the ring.

Russell called out " And now for the first of our battling broads battles, here comes the champion , all the way from Japan, it's Sailor Moon."

Sailor hops into the ring and begins to strike a variety of physically impossible poses.

Jackson: " There must have been a Slinky in the bedroom the night she was conceived."

Eric staggers up, palm fronds in his hair, looks at Sailor; " Oh, the chickens'll definitely be clucking tonight!"

The 29 Downers slowly back away from him as he stands there drooling.

Sailor Moon: " I have destroyed dozens of demons and witches. What pitiful threat are you to me?"

Daley: " Well, for starters, your shoes untied."

Moon looks down. Daley jumps on her back cackling.

:Daley: " Top be that dumb, you really must be a natural blonde."

Eric: " Lift up her skirt and let's find out!"

But at that moment, Sailor Moon flips Daley off, she strikes a poses and thrown her tiara at her. Daley is blasted from the ring.

Russell: " Well, red outsmarted her, even if she didn't out fight her. Next"

Nathan enters the ring.

Russell : " I'll give you one your own age to fight Nathan, here's Static!"

Static Shock flies in on his magnetized disk, music from High School Musical can be heard.

Nathan to himself: " I could get down to that."

Static doesn't waste time, he blasts at Nathan, barely missing him.

Nathan: " Whoa, that was close, he made the hair on my head stand up!"

You can hear the sounds of crickets chirping in the moment of silence for the failed joke.

Static: " You don't look quite dark enough to be a brother, let's fix that."

ZAPP!! This time he doesn't miss.

Nathan is standing there , his hair smoldering as he falls over . There is a ten count and they help him out of the ring.

Russell: " Well, whose next to get pounded."

Jackson walks up to the edge of the right.

Russell: " Ready to rumble, rodent."

Jackson: " Not just yet." Reaches over and throws Mel into the ring .

Mel: " Hey! No Fair."

Jackson; " Hey, I can't be nice to you in every story. If you love me , you'll die, er fight first".

Looking betrayed, Mel stands there. A gothic looking young oman with dark brown hair with a white streak in it stands there.

Russell hooted " Ok, let's hear a shout out for Rogue of the Xmen.

Rogue: " With just a touch I can steal your memories and skills, leaving you a husk."

Mel, awed: " Wow, that is so cool. And I love your hair. Can't we be friends?' She's steadily backing away.

Rogue charges at her: " Sure friend, how's about a hug." She slings a glove off and grabs Mel. Mel drops with a thud.

Rouge looks stunned, she screams: " Bleahh! I feel like I just ate ten pounds of saccharine and took a nice pill. Gah!" She runs over and starts butting her head on a ringpost. " Her voice, it just won't shut up." She knocks herself out.

Jackson: " I always pictured Mel doing that.

Russell: " Ok, that's a double countout. No winner! Next!"

Lex goes into the ring. He waits for the inevitable racket from Russell.

Russell grins, showing all three teeth, " Kid, this next guy had a bone to pick with you. All the way from Gotham City, it's the Dark Knight Detective, the one and only Bat-Man!"

Batman swings into the ring.

Lex : " Uh, I guess this is about the guys who dresses like a bat and make kids dress like pretty birds comment."

Bat-Man: " You'd look cute in the old Robin suit yourself, uh, yeah, I AM Offended."

Eric: " That costume, I've seen it before, wait, wasn't he the Gimp on Pulp Fiction."

BatMan , boasting as he stalks Lex around the ring, " I have fought Bane. I've defeated the Joker time after time. I've even taken down the big boy scout himself."

Nathan: " I've never seen you before in my life."

Batman: " Superman, idiot. By the way, your hair is still smoking."

Nathan yell and runs to the water, ducking his head frantically.

Lex: " You wouldn't hit a kid would you?"

Batman: " For all I know, you're a midget in kid's clothing." he slings a batarang at Lex, knocking his ass out."

Russell: " The winner!"

Eric, sotto voice: " I've been wanting to do that since episode one."

Jackson: " Tell me about it, he's made me look like an ass too, uh, you big bully!"

Russell: " Maybe I shoulda brought the Smurfs here instead! Ok Taylor, get in here!"

Taylor gets in the ring nervously. No one show up.

Shrugging her shoulders she asks : " Where are they?" And her hair is visible pulled. She's flung to the ground.

Suddenly, a beautiful woman appears, it's The Invisible Woman.

" I'm a member of the world's greatest team. I helped found the Fantastic Four."

Eric: " Weren't they a do op group way back in the 60's?"

Invisible Woman: " Going to try to bribe me like you did Terra?"

Taylor , hopefully: " Is that a serious offer?"

A bubble of energy knocks her out of the ring.

Jackson goes to the ring without a word.

Russell: " Well, it's up to you kid. Good news is I couldn't think of a guy to fight you."

Jackson : " And what's the bad news."

Russell, laughing, " I found a woman instead!"

Back in the ring, Jackson is squaring off against Storm of the X-Men.

Jackson: " I won't fight a chick."

Storm: " Why not, I don't mind."

Jackson: " Bring it on then. I'll beat your worse than Dave Justice did Halle Berry."

Storm throws balls of lightning at him. He manages to duck. He gets cocky

Jackson: " You're pitiful. If you were a woodchopper the only thing safe would be the trees!"

Storm: " At least I don't steal my lines from Ninja Turtle movies!"

Jackson, enraged: " Blow me!" And a three hundred mile an hour wind blows him out of the ring.

Storm: " He shouldn't have said that."

Russell speak up: " That's it, you guys get to stay here forever."

In the back of the crowd, Bat-Man speaks up, holding a robin outfit, calls out to Lex.

" Put the suit on and you can be my littlest Robin."

Lex woke up screaming. He nearly jumped out of the plane hen a hand grabbed his shoulder. It was Eric.

" Dude, Daley sent me to check on you."

Lex told him about the dream. To his surprise, Eric didn't laugh. Instead , he walked off mumbling.

" I would've worn the Robin outfit to get outta here. Bwak!"

Yes, I freely admit I have some mental issues. Bwak!