Well, here I am in a whole new fandom! *huzzah*

This is just a bit of silly nonesense I wrote because my brain needed fluff - there's no one to blame but me, so go ahead. . .

All Spiders Must Die

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKK!" Belle ran into the library screaming. "EWWWWWWWWWWW! Squash it! Kill it! Help! Help!" With a mad dash she leapt behind a chair, shivering with fright.

Lumiere and Cogsworth paused in their latest quibble to look wonderingly at the newcomer to the palace.

"Eh, Mademoiselle. . ." Lumiere tentatively put forward, "What. . .?"

"OOOOOOOOOOHHHH!" Belle interrupted, "Do you see it?!?!?!?"

Cogworth coughed into his hand, "Ah, yes, madam, but you see we. . .

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! There it is!!!!!!" Belle pointed and shrieked, "OH SOMEBODY GET RID OF IT!

The two testy troubadours of domestic tranquility looked at each other and shrugged. This was not like Belle at all.

Meanwhile, the lady in question had taken off her shoe and was slowly advancing with it, stalking her way to the doorway through which she had come.

Before she could reach the doorjamb, though, a huge furry something burst through the door, snarling and waving his arms in the air.

"WOMAN!" he growled, "You woke me up with all this screaming!

Belle started, "Woke?. . . but. . . it's the middle of the afternoon. . ."

The Beast looked abashed, "Okay, fine, I take naps - you want to make something of it? - now WHAT is the matter?"

Cogsworth stepped forward, "Well. . . you see sir, we don't actually KNOW what has frightened Miss Belle here, but. . ."

"Silence!" roared the Beast, "I do not now nor ever have cared what you "actually" know! And the only one in this castle who is allowed to scare "Miss Belle" - is ME!" he took a deep breath, "So. . . PLEASE. . . TELL. . . ME. . . WHAT. . . IS. . . GOING. . . ON!"

Belle, who was now hiding behind the chair again, pointed with one delicate finger and said with a very small voice, "There's a spider over there. . ."

"IS THAT ALL?????" said the Beast, like he was taking a menu order from an extremely testy customer.

"Yes," Belle almost whispered.

With one grand sweeping move, the Beast caught the spider off the doorjamb, made a great fist, and then clapped his huge palms together again and again, crushing whatever was between them. Then he stood up straight, smoothed his hair, fired a very unpleasant look around the room, and left, abruptly.

"He is always like that when he gets awakened from a nap," said Lumiere, primly dusting the arms of his shiny surface, "But at least he took care of what was frightening you Mademoiselle. . .Mademoiselle?"

Lumiere hopped his way over to Belle, for she was now shaking from reaction, "Are you well, Mademoiselle?" he asked kindly.

Belle looked at him, an odd light in her face. "All. . .spiders. . . must. . .DIE!!" she whispered.

Lumiere was quite shocked. It was true that he had only known Belle for a short while, but in everything she had not seemed even remotely bloodthirsty.

"Welllllll," he said expansively, "I am sure it's not that bad." He gave his waxy grin, "They ARE very small. . ."

Belle crossed her arms, "There are very MANY of them. . ."

"They are unobtrusive?" Lumiere tried again.

Belle stood, "They make webs that get in your face!"

"They do not attack?"

"They bite in the night!"

"They are subtly attractive?"

"They," she said, with the portents of doom in her eyes, "Are icky." She shivered, "Now I need a nap. . ."

"I will tell Mrs. Potts to get you some tea, Miss," said Cogsworth, and he scuttled out of the room.

............

Outside the palace, the Beast approached the door of the Watchman's Lodge, with its massive oaken walls crumbling slowly into utter ruin. He lifted his arm and shook his sleeve. Out dropped the spider, which then clung to a decaying post in the old watchman's quarters.

"I am sorry, old friend. . ." said the Beast, calmly, "I would not have lost my temper, but. . ." and here he shrugged, and affected a voice that only teen boys can use with any surety, "Ughhhh. . . girls. . ." he said, and shuddered.

"It is quite all right Adam," said the spider with the voice of an old man, "She was not to know, and I have become used to my bestial form." The spider paused, settling itself comfortably on the old oaken post, "But you have not, I see, my old friend."

"No. . ." said the Beast, "Either she is the one, or I must do as you do, Araignée my friend, and become accustomed to my own bestiality."

"You already love her, I see. . ." said the spider, with a smile in his voice.

"Love? I don't know. . ." said the Beast slowly, "But I have learned that I must trust you. . ." he trailed off, his eyes looking into the murky distance, "Had I but trusted you, that fateful night. . . we might. . ."

"Never had met that lovely girl now living in our palace!" finished the spider.

"Yes," said the Beast, "But how are you, Araignée? No problems?"

"No," said the spider, beginning to build a web, "Save that of course I am getting older. But as you know the sheep we once had here were most conveniently turned into flies, and I tend them and eat them like I did before. They come when I call. . ." the spider then gave a high pitched keening sound, and a small swarm of flies began to buzz nearby.

"Yes, well. . . good afternoon, old friend," said the Beast, and turned away to go back into his home.

He mused as he walked the decrepit stone pathway. If only. . . If only he had thought beyond his own selfishnees. . . he might have known that no one unworthy would have been able to pass Araignée at the gate. . . the old man had been as wise as a spider even when he was human. Even now, he was a friend. Perhaps the only true friend he had on earth. . .

And he was getting old. The Beast himself was getting older. . . Time was running out.

"I hope you can love me soon, Belle. . ." said the Beast quietly to himself, "Or the spider will die."