The closed door in front of him seemed cold and unfamiliar. He knew it was not, that this was the same door that he had opened and closed countless times in order to get to the kitchen of 12 Grimmauld Place. It was the door that currently muffled the members of the Order of the Phoenix all trying to speak over each other meeting. It was a door that at this moment, she was sitting behind. At the table with her mentor and their friends. She, who he had been trying his best to avoid, sat inside probably wearing a modge-podge of clothing, fingerless gloves, and some crazy hair color. Usually it was a soft shade of pink that he had adored so much.

The strap of his knapsack began to slip off his shoulder and he readjusted it. He can't think about that now. He can't think about the softness of her skin and the strange addiction he had to hearing her laugh. He couldn't think about how she looked in the morning, or how she snored softly when she fell asleep on overnight missions. He couldn't think about how her hands were cold all the time and how she saved a smile just for him. He couldn't think about any of that now, Remus Lupin had job to do. And step one was to open that door.

The Order members fell silent when the door was pushed open. Heads craned around to see who had entered, and gave Remus a combination of smiles and nods at his entrance. Remus did a quick sweep of the room: Molly and Arthur were sitting near the head of the table, next to them were Kingsley, Bill Weasley and Dumbledore at the opposite end. On Dumbledore's right sat the Auror Alastor Moody, and his young protégée. And her hair was soft and curly and pink like cotton candy. And she was beautiful.

Nymphadora Tonks smiled at Remus and winked coyly at him, causing his cheeks to flush.

Remus found that suddenly his heart was in his throat and his palms were sweaty. Adrenaline was pulsing through his veins, causing his fingers to tremble. He wanted more than ever to back out now and pretend Dumbledore had never asked him to do this mission. He wanted now more than ever to sit in the empty seat next to Tonks and get overly distracted by the way she drummed her fingers on the table. He wanted to whisper side comments to her and make her snort. But the time for flirtatious glances was long gone. He had not given himself that pleasure in a few weeks in his efforts to distance himself from her. He had been finding her presence far too tempting to stay in.

"Remus?" Molly spoke quietly and Remus realized that he was still standing in the doorway with his hand on the knob.

"Oh yes, I'm sorry," he spoke generally to the room. Clearing his throat he tried to remember the words he had been practicing just on the other side of that door, "I'm leaving. Albus," he nodded to the Hogwarts Headmaster, who nodded in return, "has asked me to go into the Underground to help with recruiting."

A few people gasped, Molly audibly said, "Remus no, that's far too dangerous!"

Remus didn't look at Molly Weasley though. He found himself instead, looking directly into the pale grey eyes of Nymphadora Tonks.

"I just came by to say goodbye, I'm not sure when or if I'll be able to check in, and I don't know when I'll be back." He glanced around the room once, and stole one more look at the pink haired witch in the corner of the room who seemed to be frozen in shock. "Well, goodbye everyone. And good luck." And with that Remus turned and left out the same door he had been standing in front of not two minutes before. He couldn't stand to make it a big deal- his departure. The only reason he had come at all was purely selfish, as he walked briskly towards the front door, trying to memorize the ever-changing features of his favorite Auror.

He was so keen on getting out that he didn't recognize the clattering sound of a chair toppling over as Tonks sprang from the table and ran into the hall after Remus. She had left the meeting with no explanation, and she was sure she would have to answer more than a few questions upon her return, but that interrogation was farthest from her mind now. The only thing that mattered was getting to him.

The front door to 12 Grimmauld place had been shut not a moment before it was thrown back open and Tonks poured over the threshold into the cool air. "Remus!" she shouted at the back of a familiar traveling cloak.

"Remus! Wait!"

She followed him down an alley and right before he could disapparate into the darkness, she grasped the back of his worn cloak.

He spun around with such a ferocity that she would have been knocked clean off her feet had his arms not wrapped themselves around her. He held her so desperately to him, clutching at the back of her Auror robes, putting one hand into her soft pink locks, knowing perfectly well that this was not his place. He was trying to push her away, and yet he could not let her go. He clung to her like he was a drowning man and Nymphadora was the only thing keeping him above water. She was so shocked at his response that she didn't even process the hug until he was pulling out of it.

"No," she whispered as the heat of his body separated from hers, "no, Remus, please… you don't have to g-" but she was looking at him now, and lost her train of thought in the sadness and desperation behind his eyes. "Is this about trying to push me away, Lupin? Because I'll stop, I swear I'll stop. I'll leave you alone…" Tonks pleaded with him in hushed tones, "Please don't leave… you could die, I'm not sure if I could-"

Before she could finish, his hand was caressing her cheek and then his lips were on hers. The kiss was soft and sad. Unlike the two others they had shared. Those had been flirty and saucy. This kiss felt different; more mature. This kiss felt like goodbye.

Before her eyes fluttered open, the kiss was over. Remus was gone.