The Blinky-Thingy made that horrendous sound again and something inside him broke. He stared, not daring to even take a breath, his eyes wide and his fingers locked tightly around the rim of his hat.
The check in agent frowned, glancing up at him through her lashes. "I'm sorry, it doesn't look like you can go through."
He felt sick down somewhere where his stomach used to be, his long gone throat feeling like it was
closing up and choking him. "... But..." He tried to find words to help himself, pausing and staring at her, his hat crushed to his ribs. "... But my family..." He needed to explain to her that Coco had given his photo to the family, that she and Miguel and stuck it back together and his daughter had assured him he could go through this year.
"I'm sorry but it doesn't seem you have a photo on a Ofrenda." She shrugged her shoulders, her brow drawn inwards with discomfort.
"Héctor?" Imelda called, she had passed through the scanner just before him and was still waiting this side of the gates for him to join her. He turned towards her, his mouth uselessly moving as speech failed him. "Is there a problem?" She asked, coming back to stand tall and stern beside him.
"I... can't..." He fumbled, his eyes flickering all over the place anywhere but meeting her gaze.
"What?"
"I'm afraid he can't go through." The agent spoke up gently, an apologetic look on her face.
"What?" She snarled again, disbelief taking over her features. "Don't be ridiculous! Of course he can go through! Our grandson has put his photo up on our family's Ofrenda."
"... Imelda..." Héctor whimpered, his hands near shredding into his hand with how tightly he was clinging to it.
She silenced him with a wave of her hand. "Your idiotic devil box is just wrong! Try it again I assure you it will work." She took a hold of his arm and pulled him back in front of the scanner from where he had backed off.
"... Señora the scanner isn't wrong..." The agent tried, but was cut off by the elder woman's harsh glare and with a sigh she turned the dials to retry.
Héctor's ribs shuddered with his harsh breath, the green light from the scanner illuminating his terrified face. He let out a pained gasp, nearly a sob when the machine denied him again.
"I'm sorry but you can't go through..." The woman tried to explain again, looking both disappointed for him and a bit anxious eyeing his wife.
"No! I'm telling you that thing is wrong! We will show you!" Imelda growled, snatching up his wrist and forcefully yanking him along with her. "Our Miguelito put up our photos!"
He fought not to trip over as he struggled to match her pace, slamming his hat back on his head before he dropped it. "Imelda, don't." He begged, his frightened eyes watching the station guards who merely stood and blankly watched his wife's fury, perhaps thinking it was better that she see for herself what was wrong. "Please, Imelda! Stop, I'll go back."
"Don't be foolish, you're coming to join the rest of the family for Dia Dos Los Muertos and that's all there is to it, their devil box is just broken, you'll see." She snapped at him, not letting up on her grip one bit and allowing him no escape, it was either loose his arm or let her drag him.
They were making their way across the bridge entrance, other people glancing at them in curiosity as she marched them on. The anxious sickness in his chest only grew, he didn't want this to happen, he didn't want to fall through the petals again and he certainly didn't want her to see it, to see just how broken he was.
"Papa?!" Coco sidled up to them, near jogging to keep up with them. "Mama? What's happened?" She looked between her parents, their distress and anger easy to see.
"Nothing happened, there is just some problem with their records." Imelda spoke, her voice softer for her daughter but still firm.
Héctor caught his girl's eyes, and he knew she could tell he was frightened. "Uhh, mija, it's fine." He tried to tug his hand free once again. "Imelda., stop." It was even worse now, not only would his wife but now his daughter see. "Please!"
Imelda let out an irritated huff. "Shut up." At last she took her first steps over the petals, Coco at her side doing the same while he fell back between them. "See? What did I -" She was cut off when he finally wrenched his arm free and turned back only to see him fighting to stay standing up to his knees in the petals. "Héctor..." She breathed, eyes widening.
"... Papa?" Coco looked between them confused.
He wobbled, trying to not fall over as he sank in a little more, his arms outstretched and flailing for balance with nothing to grip onto. "... Could you... Just … just a second." Neither of them thought to help him in their shock and he eventually just gave up and let himself tumble backwards into the petals in favour of crawling out back to solid ground on his hands and knees. He pulled himself up where the flowers met stone and did his best to right himself, dusting petals off him and straightening his clothes and hat, hands trembling as he refused to meet their eyes.
"Héctor'..." Imelda spoke gently, unsure of what to say, she'd been so sure that he would be able to cross, the thought that he couldn't hadn't even truly crossed her mind, she was sure this time it would work for him. They stood there for a moment near frozen, the bridge of petals between them feeling like a impassable valley. "I..."
His head lifted as he peered at them, his hands locked on his suspenders as he tried to give them the weakest smile Imelda had ever seen. "Guess I'm not going, huh?"
Coco looked distressed, her head shaking. "No papa, we'll sort it, I gave Miguel your old photo you should be able to cross!" She was wringing her hands anxiously. "I said you could cross, I don't understand what's wrong." She had promised the photo was in safe hands with the orders to put it up on the Ofrenda, she had spent the past week soothing her father's fears because yes the photo did exist and Miguel was taking good care of it.
"Mija, it's okay, why don't you go wait with everybody else while your Mama and I talk?" He tried.
She shook her head. "That means you're not coming." Her voice wobbled dangerously.
"Coco." He tried to be stern, something he had never been good at, he had always been the fun parent, Imelda was the rule maker. With one last pleading look at him she turned and headed off up the bridge to where the rest of the family was waiting for them. "So..." He began, rocking on his heels and trying to find words through a throat that felt like it had locked up. "I told you it wouldn't work..."
"I thought you could come..." Imelda breathed, an expression of horror settled over her features.
"Not so lucky, eh? … well … it's fine, it doesn't matter I only ever wanted to cross before to see you and Coco... but... but you're here now so no need? I have everything I want with me."
She could easily see through his lies, her voice coming out soft and gentle. "But... you wanted to see Miguel again and meet everyone else." She knew he had been listening intently to stories of their family in the living world, Coco and Rosita filling him in on all the gossip and in his own words he wanted to know each person when he saw them.
Héctor shrugged, his face pained and tight. "Yeah well... we don't always get what we want, do we?"
No, she supposed not, it seemed like the pair of them never could have what they wanted most, not truly, but this just wasn't fair. She shook her head, trying to control her emotions. "We'll find a way, Oscar and Felipe will carry you." She knew even as she said it that wasn't an option, there was no telling what would happen to him even if they did manage to carry him into the living world, he wasn't remembered enough to cross, perhaps he would fade away the further he went. It wasn't worth the risk.
"Imelda... it's alright, go on, they're waiting for you." His hand reached out to comfort her before he realised he couldn't get close enough to touch her, his arm dropping back down to his side.
"They're waiting for both of us! If you're not going then I'm not either. I'm staying with you."
He was shaking his head adamantly "No, you didn't get to cross last year because of me, it's not happening again... look, it's fine, I'm fine, just go. You want to see them, go be with your family." He winced at his own words.
"They're your family too..." She tried, his slip up far more telling than either of them liked, he still clearly thought of himself as unworthy to be included in the family, that he somehow still didn't belong.
He could only shrug and smile sadly at her, his fingers clenching tight and tugging his suspenders anxiously. "... Please go, I want at least one of us to... just..." He looked fragile, searching for the words, his chest still heaving. "... Just don't forget to come back for me, yeah?" With one last glance at her he was turning and already walking back towards the station, leaving her standing alone on the bridge trying not to cry.