Disclaimer: I do not own New Girl or any of the characters

Reviews are welcome!

"She'll tear a hole in you, the one you can't repair

But I still love her, I don't really care."

- The Lumineers

The Intense August sun was penetrating Jess' porcelain skin as she relaxed on her beach towel beside Cece and Schmidt. She turned her head to observe her surroundings through her oversized, polka-dot sunglasses.

Too her right a group of Hollister model type guys were playing volleyball, while several girls to her left were swooning over them and gossiping under their umbrellas. Directly in front of her, she watched as Daisy and Winston splashed each other through the waist-deep water, torn between laughing and sucking face. Jess collapsed back into her towel, rolling her eyes under her sunglasses. Everyone was so damn happy. And she loathed it.

The only flaw in their otherwise idyllic gathering was the absence of one turtle-faced member. Jess watched as the sparkles from the sun bounced of the afternoon L.A. waves, maybe it was the couple not too far away arguing really loudly or maybe it was because flannel shirts were apparently in at the moment but the lack of miller was especially noticeable to her today, she couldn't help thinking back to the previous summer, when Nick had come back to the loft and decided not to move in with Caroline. That was when it all changed, suddenly her and Nick spent every waking moment together, she would catch herself inventing excuses to spend time with him. She was surprised he didn't grow suspicious at how many times her car had 'broken down' and she needed him to take her to the store.

"Mmm the water looks perfect, you coming in babe?" Cece asked, snapping Jess out of her reverie.

"No thanks, I'm loving this sun" Jess replied stretching back against the sand.

"Are you sure you don't want to get in the water? You'll be on your own and-"

"-Cece I'm fine!" Jess scoffed, interrupting her "Now you crazy kids go have some fun" she says giving both her and Schmidt a light arm punch and speaking in her best cowboy accent.

She tried her best to avoid Cece's famous pity gaze that she'd been receiving all summer. She had walked on eggshells around Jess and to put it bluntly it was infuriating. Not to mention the way she weaved in and out of Schmidt's life as if his feelings aren't important to her. And let's be honest Jess was completely ignored by the guys when Cece was around because Winston would just have creepy mind sex with her and Schmidt wouldn't shut up about how she is a "brown, Indian sex goddess".

Jess scowled as Schmidt picked Cece up in a fireman lift and rushed off towards the water whilst she loudly protested, banging her fists into his back. But as soon as they were gone her scowl shifted into a frown. She realized how awful she was being about Cece. Really, she should be happy that her best friend was finally enjoying herself after several months spent mourning over her wedding. Cece had concluded that she wasn't ready to settle down with Shivrang a little late and this had become apparent to Jess when she had walked in on her, all hair, tears and smudged make-up, slumped, on the bathroom floor of the church. Jess, of course, left all logic behind and attempted to make a quick get away with Cece through the tiny bathroom window, which wasn't easy in a Sari.

The first few weeks Jess couldn't even sweet-talk Cece into eating properly, which was unusual to her because she knew if it had been her she'd of already been through a life supply of strawberry ice cream and all set to start on the life supply of cheesecake. The person who finally turned Cece's frown upside down was Schmidt. Since then Cece had slept at the loft every night and whilst not labelling their relationship the two were happy, and it was as simple as that.

As she watched them frolic together, dunking each other's heads through the waves and giggling like a pair of toddlers on a sugar-binge, it hit her. Jess wasn't mad at Cece because of her sympathetic behaviour, or incredibly good looks. It was because she was happy, and it was easy for her. Cece and Schmidt made it all look so straightforward and effortless, but with Nick and herself she felt like it was a game of shared looks, each of them not wanting to even hint at what they both knew they desired most.

She sighed, stopping her thoughts going any further down that route. She never let herself think about him, and 90% of the time she was successful, but now and then when she'd had a few too many glasses of pink wine, she couldn't help but think back to when he'd made her feel so... wanted.

After popping her earphones in and turning on her iPod, Jess settled back against her towel and let her mind drift off, far away from Nicholas Miller and the restless feeling deep in the pit of her stomach. Instead she willed herself to focus on the song that was playing through her earphones.

"It's like forgetting the words to your favorite song

You can't believe it, you were always singing along

It was so easy, and the words so sweet

You can't remember, you try to move your feet"

"Nick, I'm popping down to Starbucks, do you want anything?" His assistants voice rang out from the doorway.

"Uh... yeah, sure, just get me a black coffee, none of that fancy man crap" Nick called back

He still wasn't used to the fact that it was actually somebody's job to carry out tasks for him and keep him happy, it was bizarre. But he guessed that was just part of making a career jump from a minimum wage bartender to being published in the New York Times.

He brought his attention back to his laptop and the blank document within it, sighing heavily and running his hand through his short dark hair.

As soon as Nick's zombie novel became successful he had got phone-calls like there was no tomorrow. When the New York Times offered for him to come work in their offices and informed him he would have a large section of the creative writing pages Nick was already sold.

He was shocked that people actually liked his writing, back when he begun 'Z is for Zombie' he wasn't doing it for anyone else but him. He actually started it as a coping mechanism, to relieve the built up tension between him and Jess. He didn't know how it happened but one night after a heated argument between the pair about something stupid, he found himself furiously typing into his laptop and before he knew it he had several chapters finished.

This week his boss had requested he wrote a zombie love story and insisted that he used his own personal experiences with love in order to write a successful, emotive piece.

His assistant, Laura, appeared in the doorway. "Writing going that bad, huh?" she said as she crossed his office and set his coffee down on his desk

"Whoa, you were fast how long has it been?" Nick checked his watch. It had been twenty minutes. He had been staring at a blank screen for twenty minutes.

Nick exhaled before taking a sip of his coffee. "I have no idea what's wrong with me, my brain goes blank every time I try to write this piece."

"That's the love story one, right?" She asked between sips of her frapalappo or whatever those crazy drinks were called

"Yeah"

"Well maybe you've got writers block because you're like butt-crazy in love with that girl you always talk about in your stories and you need to talk to her so you can like de-block, you know?"

Nick glared at his assistant not sure whether what she just said was extremely wise or utterly moronic. Luckily for Nick who had no idea how to reply, a phone started to ring from outside his office and she dashes out to get it.

He had to admit, Laura was pretty wise for an assistant, even if she couldn't get a sentence out without breaking it up with a 'like' or a 'you know?'. He couldn't argue that she made a valid point. He hadn't spoken to Jess since their argument at Cece's wedding, and that was still just a blur of anger and frustration to him. He wasn't sure if they were even friends. This took Nick aback slightly as his gut began to clench. It was the one thing he'd thought about all summer. It was the one thing that had kept him up at night. What was going to happen when he went to visit them in a week's time?

Hope you all enjoy it, I spent a lot of time on it :)

also the song Jess is listening to is "Eet" by Regina Spektor!