Happy Christmas! Yeah, yeah, I'm posting my Christmas story on Boxing Day- but that's because this story was a Christmas present for a friend, and I had to make sure she had read it entirely before posting it. A note on the story as well: it was actually mailed to her from where I go to school on the other side of the country as 24 individually rolled up fragments of story with a date- that way she opened one part of the story a day, like an advent calendar. You'll see those same separations in the text here, since some of the scene breaks would make zero to no sense without this context. Inspiration for this story circled around the three times Lily and James apparently faced Voldemort, whatever Christmas songs came up on Spotify as I tried to write this, and the clothes wizards and witches would wear at a Christmas party.
Anyways, she enjoyed it so I'm satisfied- but I hope you like it too!
Dedication: to Mama Bird
Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing.
Winter Song
This is my winter song to you.
The storm is coming soon,
It rolls in from the sea
My voice; a beacon in the night.
My words will be your light,
To carry you to me.
Is love alive?
Is love alive?
Is love
-Sarah Bareilles & Ingrid Michaelson
"You've made it worst," Sirius helpfully chimed from his spot on Peter's bed, lying over the younger boy's lap and eating kettle corn by the fistful.
"Truly, I could not have asked for a better friend," James said. He turned to Remus, also clad in dress robes, for confirmation.
Remus hesitated. "It's not that it looks bad as much as... I don't think Lily will recognize you."
"You look like one of those dolls on which the hair is painted on," Peter added. Sirius shot up.
"Apt, Wormtail, that is apt!"
"You've all made your point," James snapped back. Still, he ruffled up his hair again.
"Well, you can't go to Slughorn's party looking like an absolute mess," Sirius said.
"Will you shut up?" James asked. "You're exasperating when you're wallowing about not being invited. It's your own fault at that, you could have restrained yourself from telling Slughorn about the minutiae of your feelings on Slytherin House two weeks before you knew this was happening."
"Remus told me to speak my truth instead of being so sulky," Sirius said dropping back down on the bed. "I'm getting some very conflicting messages."
"Don't worry," Peter told Sirius, shoveling more kettle corn into his mouth. "I have perfected the art of entertaining myself during these parties. Wait until you see the staff lounge all decorated for the holidays."
"Enjoy," Remus said. He raised his wand. "Stay still, James. Correcto."
He felt a brush of wind through his hair. He reached up.
"Don't ruin it," Remus said. "We better go. Where are you meeting Lily?"
"At the party," James said. "She's getting ready with Amelia and some of the other Hufflepuff girls."
"That's prefect treason," Sirius pointed out.
"Have fun with him, Wormtail," James said.
They walked out, and a few of the other quidditch players made a fuss about James' hair and robes as they crossed the Common Room. He gave them a bow before slipping out into the hallway. Hogwarts' halls were lined with evergreen garlands, boughs of holly, frosted pinecones, and bright red ribbons. Floating candles warmed up what could otherwise have been a very cold and gloomy castle.
"Right," James said as they made their way down. "And where are you meeting Miss Violet, Moody?"
"By the Great Hall," Remus said chewing his lip. "I'm thankful that you didn't tell the others, by the way."
"Don't mention it," James said. "Are you okay?"
"I don't know why I asked her out, James," Remus said- which was that he had been saying since asking said girl out. "I..."
"Because you fancy her," James cut him off. Sometimes it was important to stop Remus' train of thought before it derailed and destroyed the entire village. "She's funny, she's tough, she's good at arithmetics, or whatever it is you find interesting in a girl. What are you going to do, never speak to a member of the opposite sex?"
"It's different," Remus said simply. He turned away from James and, though it probably wasn't on purpose, flashed his newest scar in James' direction.
"Yeah," James nodded. "It is. But don't spend the night worrying, old man. She's agreed to go out with you, have fun."
"You too," Remus said, splitting off in the next hallway. James saw a small bouquet of Christmas roses appearing in his hand as he walked away, and he grinned to himself. If it weren't for his furry little problem, Remus Lupin would be breaking so many hearts that Hogwarts would be flooded with tears. Except he wouldn't, of course, he was much too polite.
James meandered down to Slughorn's office, which he'd have been able to find even if he had never been, by the lush red carpet that had been rolled out and the sound of music. And there was Lily, leaning against the door and playing with a stray lock of hair. She was wearing a simple pine green dress, that hit her knee like a ballerina's skirt. It was decisively muggle, but the pins in her hair that glowed and flickered lie candlelight and she had charmed the beaded hummingbirds and dragonflies stitched into her golden cloak to fly across the fabric. He was thankful he got a second to take her in without her seeing how mystified he was, to keep some kind of dignity in their relationship.
"Look what the reindeer dragged in," James said.
She looked up and tucked the parchment back in her robe but smiled.
"You really won't let go of the Santa Clause story I told you, will you?" she said.
"No, but you look absolutely stunning," he said.
"Cleaning up suits you as well, Mr Potter," she said. She wound her hand in the front of his dress robes and pulled him down for a kiss. The usual taste of her vanilla chapstick had been replaced by lipstick, but it was still a fairly good kiss up until they were interrupted by a gaggle of Slytherins arriving at the party and calling for them to get a room. James turned around and watched them file into Slughorn's office and got one hell of a death glare from Severus Snape. He stepped in front of Lily protectively, and they were gone.
"I don't want trouble, James," Lily said quietly.
"Neither do I, but we've made it abundantly clear to him, to all of them actually, that you are to be left alone."
"And they will," Lily said. "Besides, I'm sticking to you like glue tonight. Do you know how nice it will be to finally be at one of these things with someone I like?"
"So nice," James nodded. "An absolute breath of fresh air."
"Humble," Lily hmphed. But she smiled, so he knew he wasn't wrong. He offered his arm and she took it and they dove into Slughorn's Christmas party.
At first, their plan had been to go to the party, be seen by Slughorn, experience one significant anecdote that they could bring up to Slughorn in the aftermath of it all, and then leave— making sure to eat as many hors-d'oeuvres as they could in the process. Then, since nobody had any other expectations for them, the night would presumably be theirs. James was planning on bringing Lily to the quidditch pitch, which was far away from the castle to offer a beautiful view of the night stars in its full regalia. Maybe Lily would want to go walk by the greenhouses to see the Moonweed bloom. The view from the astronomy tower was one they returned to time and time again. They would play it by ear, the possibilities were endless and James was in no rush.
Seeing how nice of a plan this had been, it came as no surprise that it barely lasted five minutes.
They were playing a game to guess which professors actually wanted to be at Slughorn's party. They determined that Minerva McGonagall had been dragged into this party by Dumbledore and would rather be anywhere, including the bathroom on the third floor that had been mysteriously and perpetually flooded since they'd been in fourth year. James had no idea at all in any sense of how in the world that particular plumbing malfunction could possibly have happened. At all.
"You should go talk to her about quidditch," Lily said, nudging him. "That'll cheer her up."
"You're a much better person than I am," James said. "I was just about to bet you five galleons that she was going to throw her mulled wine in the face of that one bloke trying to explain the fundamentals of transfiguration to her."
Lily laughed but composed herself quickly enough to smile as Slughorn came to see them. It was one of the classic Lily smiles that made her so popular with teachers, authority figures, adults, and complete strangers.
"Lily! James! So good to see you," Slughorn said jovially. "So good to see you here together..."
"Thank you for having us, Professor," Lily said reaching out to shake the hand he held out to her. "This is beautiful, you've outdone yourself yet again."
Slughorn beamed in his three-piece emerald green suit and looked around proudly. His entire office was covered in a thin sheet of ice. Icicles hung from the ceiling, and the office was adorned with vases full of frost flowers and stark white roses. All of the instruments of a string quartet and a beautiful piano played themselves in one corner, and Madam Rosmerta had set up a make-shift bar and was brewing up signature drinks for the night. Lily had been too shy to break the rules and drink, so they had gotten butterbeers instead.
"You look lovely yourself, Miss Evans. Mr Potter, I... I see you combed your hair."
"Yes sir," James nodded.
"Well done," Slughorn said.
Padfoot could never know about this exchange.
"What are your plans for Christmas, Miss Evans? If you were planning on staying at the castle, I have quite the enticing research opportunity to offer you..."
Lily shifted uncomfortably, and James squeezed her hand. She'd spent the summer boarding at the Three Broomsticks and working as a research assistant for Slughorn as he prepared for the next Potion Masters Convention. Her sister, who had been handling everything related to the family's household and communication since Lily's mother had passed away, had made it very clear that Lily was not welcome home if her muggleborn status had been responsible for the recent outburst of magical violence in Cokeworth.
"You're too kind, professor," Lily said. "As a matter of fact, I'm spending Christmas at the Potter house."
Hearing her say it out loud made James even happier and more nervous about their most recent development. He knew that Christmas at the castle was absolutely lovely— in fifth year, the full moon had fallen on Christmas Eve and so the lot of them had stayed at the castle for Moody's sake. But even with the caroling ghosts and the Yule feast and the snowy landscape and roaring fires and Christmas crackers, James couldn't imagine Evans alone anywhere for Christmas. He'd had to threaten to stay at the castle with her to convince Lily to agree to come home for the holidays. One quick letter to his mother explaining the situation and exploiting the fact that Mum had been ridiculously excited to meet Lily since she'd made one or two appearances in his letters home since their first date in fifth year.
"Oh!" Slughorn said in a way that made James sure that the entirety of Hogwarts would know this particular piece of information by tomorrow morning. "How lovely, how lovely…"
"I'll have to stop by your office for a cup of tea to hear all about your latest work," Lily said very diplomatically.
"You will, Miss Evans, you will," Slughorn said. "Mr Potter, are you ready for quidditch to begin again once this damned snow melts? I'll say this much: you'll need a tad more luck than before now that you'll be facing my Slytherins..."
"I think I'll leave the luck for them to take, sir," James said. Slughorn laughed delightedly and told him all about how promising the new Slytherin seeker was, which James wasn't terribly sure about— he'd seen him play against Ravenclaw, and it was nothing to write home about.
When Slughorn eventually fluttered away to his next partygoer, they looked at each other.
"We're halfway done," he whispered.
"We'll have to speed up on the food then, I'm starving," Lily said.
While they were filling up their plates, James noticed Lily starring off into the distance.
"Lily?"
"There's something..." She looked away. "Never mind. I just got distracted."
"Okay," he said simply, letting it go. But she was still distant and when she reached for his hand she nearly missed, like the night before an exam she was particularly anxious about.
Across the crowd, James saw Remus with his lady friend— a Ravenclaw girl he, come to think about it, did recognize, who wore her long hair in braids. They were sitting by the windowsill and she was telling him about something wildly interesting based off of her incredible gesturing, and Remus was drinking it up and laughing. James smiled, and he was about to point it out to Lily (since they had voted that she was not a Marauder by proxy, and so James had no responsibility to keep secrets from her that he had to keep from the other marauders), when Slughorn tapped a fork to his glass.
"Everybody!" he called. "Friends and colleagues— but for tonight let us all be friends since we have all gathered in this place for a holiday that knows no bounds. If Headmaster Dumbledore were here, I would love to hear a few of his always entertaining words, but in his absence let us move on to tonight's game!"
The game was rather simple: James must have played it at a thousand family reunions. Everybody was handed a little gold package, one of which had a jingle bell inside of it instead of a prize. The idea was to walk around the room and pass your present along to those around you, without receiving the dummy package in your hands by the time the music stopped.
At first it was all fun, everybody looked highly suspicious and unusually giggly as they strode around the office. James was exchanging gifts with McGonagall and sending Sirius' regrets that he wasn't around to try and woo her as he had last year after a few too many goblets of firewhiskey.
"You may report back to Mr Black that I have no comment to add to this," she said.
"It'll break his heart Professor, maybe it should come from you."
"Go harass another player, Potter," she said. He smirked and Lily grabbed his arm. Her eyes were wide with panic and her hands shook.
"Lily?" he asked turning to her quickly. "What..."
"James, look towards the far West window and tell me that the man in the burgundy cloak doesn't have a dark mark on his arm," she said in a hush.
The Dark Mark didn't mean anything per say, but the rumours said that it was how Voldemort's followers were now branding themselves, as if following in his footsteps wasn't shameful enough that you wouldn't want a trace of it on your body.
James looked back at her. He didn't want to confirm her fears, but then again Lily knew what she'd seen, and she was only asking him because she had no idea what to do about it. James was afraid that his observation was only about to make the whole thing worse.
"There's something different about the gift he's holding," James whispered to her. "The ribbon- it's red like everybody else's, but darker..."
"James, you have to grab it," Lily said tugging on his sleeve.
"What?" he said.
"James, it's obviously not part of the game," Lily said anxiously.
"Wait here," he said before plunging into the crowd and making his way towards the man in the burgundy cloak. As he weaved his way through the sea of partygoers, the man in the cloak pointed his wand to the orchestra and with a flick, changed the song. James didn't know what that meant exactly, but he sped up and bumped into him dramatically.
They both dropped their presents.
"Watch where you're going," the man said annoyed.
"Terribly sorry," James said. He slipped his want out of his sleeve and quietly whispered, Pigmentum. Now, their packages were identical, but James' seeker eye had stuck to the intruder.
He handed his own disguised package to the man.
"Here you are, mate," James said, keeping the stolen package for himself. "Merry Christmas."
Trying not to walk too hastily or look suspicious, he made his way back to Lily, careful not to make eye contact with any other players.
Lily pointed her wand towards the enchanted orchestra and whispered, Silentium. The music stopped, and the party goers cheered as the first round of the game ended. Professor Flitwick had the present with the jingle bell and the crowd had a laugh before Slughorn led them into a round of applause to celebrate what he called "exemplary participation."
James took Lily's hand and whisked her outside.
"Leaving early, Potter," Severus Snape said, waiting by the door with a glass of chilled wine.
"Plans: some of us make them, some of us stick our noses in others," James explained before pulling Lily outside.
"Let's go somewhere quiet," Lily said.
Madam Pinch had all but given Lily a key to one of the library's private study rooms while she was studying for her O.W.L.S. years ago and had never asked for it to be returned, so there they were. To be fair, it was the size of a closet with poor lighting, a rickety table, a broken chair, and a perpetually mouldy smell so James wasn't sure how much of an act of charity on the librarian's behalf this could really be considered.
"Okay," Lily said. "Open it."
"Lily, just because he has a dark mark..."
"Nobody has a dark mark for fun James, not with the rumours going around about what it means," she said. "Can you just... please."
He opened the package. She chewed her knuckle like whenever she was nervous, which was how James noticed that she'd done her nails for the party in the first place.
In the box there was a simple stone, polished and smoothed and dark like a river stone. A rune traced in gold was its only distinguishing feature. James' rudimentary knowledge of runes came from the Runology class he'd taken in third year to try and impress Lily and would definitely have failed had Professor Lalonde not given him a passing grade with the explicit understanding that he was never to take another runes class again. Even he was able to read it.
"Safe passage," James said. "The traveller's rune."
Lily nodded, and part of James went back to being in third year and desperately pining for Lily to notice him. He snapped out of it.
"What... what does it...?"
"There's something on the other side," Lily said. She ran her fingers over the surface of the stone and found five little nicks in the stone. "Five... This is the fifth rune. What would someone want five traveller's runes for?"
James took the rune fom her and ran his own fingers over the golden inscription and the five nicks in the stone's otherwise perfect surface.
"Did you go to that Ancient Magic seminar last Fall?"
"Yes," Lily said. "Why?"
"Do you remember what they were saying, about how the muggles sometimes get things about ancient magic right because at that time the line between wizards and muggles wasn't so sharp?" James said. "And that one of the things they'd figured out was stone circles."
"Like how Stonehenge was an early observatory," Lily said. "Yes, my family even went to visit it once."
"Right, and they said something else," James said. "It wasn't just astronomy, there was something... it was more complicated than that."
"It was about portkeys," Lily said. She slapped her hand over her mouth. "It was about portkeys, because the first portkeys were... they were stone circles and portals."
James looked at stone number five in his hand.
"Someone's trying to get into Hogwarts," James said.
"We have to tell a professor," Lily said.
"They're all at Slughorn's party except for Binns," James said. "We can't go back up there, they'll have realised we have their rune by now."
"We have to hide this," Lily said. "We have to break the circle."
"And what about the other four runes?" James asked. "I mean, we have to find those too but... how?"
Lily chewed her knuckle and paced around their broom closet of a study room. James ran a hand through his hair. He desperately wanted to pull Remus or Sirius or Peter into this, but this felt... too deep. Too deep to handle alone, but also too deep to drag anybody else down with them. This was different than a raid on the Slytherin Common Room or an expedition to break him out of detention to make his anniversary date with Evans. This was serious: they had at least one Death Eater on their hands, another if they had to deal with whoever the first bloke was passing the stone to, and then who knew who would be coming in.
But when he looked at Lily, her gaze was sharp, and he could tell that something extraordinary was happening behind those green eyes of hers. Something extraordinary that meant that they would be alright.
"What was that song?" James asked.
"What?"
"That song," James said. "That was playing during the game."
Lily nodded. "He changed it, while we were playing. 'Do you hear what I hear'?"
"What?" James asked. "It's quiet as the grave."
"No, no— that's the name of the song. Do you hear what I hear? It's a Christmas carol," Lily said. "A muggle Christmas carol, I suppose, but I recognized it. Mum put Petunia and I in choir when we were younger, we sang it every Christmas."
She pointed her wand at the blackboard on the wall.
"Tabula," she said. She wrote her Christmas carol's lyrics in the air with the tip of her wand, and they appeared in her neat and loopy handwriting on the blackboard.
"Do you hear what I hear?
Said the night wind to the little lamb.
Do you see what I see
Way up in the sky, little lamb.
Do you see what I see
A star, a star, dancing in the night
With a tail as big as a kite
With a tail as big as a kite."
James sat on the wobbly table and read on.
"There's a lot of repetition here," James said. "Do you... do you reckon it's a code?"
Lily cocked her head to the side. She backed up towards him so that she was sitting on his lap, and he wrapped his arms around her waist. He rested his chin on her shoulder and they starred at the blackboard.
"The last two lines of every verse are what's really different. Other than that it's people going back and forth," Lily concluded. She sang the song quietly to him. "A star, a star, dancing in the night," Lily said to herself. "With a tail as big as a kite. With a tail as big as kite..."
"I think we need to take a stroll up the astronomy tower," James said.
At least they were going to make it to their usual spot in some capacity.
"Alohomora," James said. He tried again, but the astronomy tower's lock shrunk in defiance.
"Fuck you too," James muttered.
"Love," Lily said nudging him out of the way. She pointed her wand towards the lock. "Alohomora."
She said it so sweetly too, and the lock had no problem obeying her and sliding itself off.
"From now on, maybe you should cover the charms stuff," James said. Lily grinned and led the way up the astronomy tower, to Professor Allego's classroom. The first years were building models of the solar system, which were lined up sweetly on the shelf. The massive telescope built into the tower was locked into place, but the broken telescopes that students left in the class for Allego to repair were stacked against a wall.
They chose the window with the best view of the castle grounds and opened the windows to set up the less rickety of the telescopes. The temperature plunged as the Winter air poured in. If they had been here merely for the view, as James had hoped and very clearly implored the universe to facilitate, they would have been left breathless. The trees of the Forbidden Forest were snow-capped, and the landscape was white as far as they could see it. The windows of Hagrid's Hut and the greenhouses were glowing with candlelight, and the grounds shone and glittered with the Christmas lights that lined the pathways cut through the snow, the Great Lake's shoreline, the campfire pits that had been set up to give students something to do outside...
"I love the lights," Lily said looking out the window. Her eyes were unfocused and distracted, they didn't look as bright. "It makes me think of how muggles decorate for Christmas. It's not so different, but we don't have it as easy, a quick lumos won't light up the world for us. Light is a lot more important, a lot more difficult."
"You're not a muggle," James said gently, squeezing her hand.
"Right," Lily said. Her breath fogged in the cold air. "But I was raised as one. That's enough for..."
"For the absolute nutcases running amuck in the world right now," James said. He kissed her forehead. "Not for everyone."
Lily nodded and took a deep breath. "Does anything look different, out there?"
"No, but if the song starts with a star, then that's probably where we should start. We might need to pull out a star chart," James said. "I know, I know. Your favourite. But my glasses are getting foggy."
"James Potter, defeated by fog," Lily said dramatically. "Oh, the agony. Oh, the shame..."
"Now, now," James said. "You're starting to sound like Sirius."
"Your other love," Lily said. "I'll adjust this bronze junk if you want to go find a chart for today..."
James found a chart for December 15th, adjusted for the moon's phase, and brought it out to her.
"Start with the Winter constellations," he told her. "Orion, Orion Nebula, Perseus, Taurus, The Pleiades Cluster, Canis Major, Canis Minor, Cetus, Eridanus, Gemini, Witch Head Nebulae..."
"Witch Head Nebulae," Lily said. "Remind me what those coordinates are?"
"IC1288," James said. "It should be..."
"There's something there," Lily said. "Something between the Nebulae and Rigel- its nearest star... It's... A star, a star, dancing in the night with a tail as big as a kite..."
"Okay, okay," James said. "What direction is it in?"
"Towards the Forbidden Forest," Lily said.
"Okay," James said. "Okay. You know what, Lily, let's stop by the quidditch pitch and get my broom. We'll do a fly-over, to see if the rune is somewhere under the star, okay?"
"Okay," Lily said. She chewed her knuckle.
"Lily, what is it?" he asked.
"It's just... it would take a very powerful wizard to create... to create a celestial object, as a marker. For it to be this bright, this stable..."
"There are lots of powerful witches and wizards out there," James said. "I'm looking at one right now. Come on, I don't have the cloak with me so we're going to have to be pretty quick when we make our way out. I don't suppose Slughorn invited Filch to his party, but who can blame him?"
"POTTER AND EVANS SITTING IN A TREE!"
James swore under his breath and turned around to face Peeves, who was happily speeding across the hallways towards them with a look on his face that could only be (impolitely) described as "shit-eating."
"K-I-S-S-I-N-"
"Peeves," James started spreading his hands. "Hey, mate, how have you been..."
"TRYING TO BE QUIET, BUT THEY'RE ALWAYS SO LOUD."
"Now that, Peeves, is simply rude," James said.
"AT LEAST RIGHT NOW ALL THE CLOTHES ARE ON."
"Peeves, mind your manners," James said. He pointed to a nearby portrait showing a scene from St. Agatha's Youth Abode, the first wizarding grade school in Britain. "There are children around."
Lily's cheeks were bright red and she looked around furiously.
Now Peeves was moving on to a song of his own making.
"Lovers sneaking round the castle,
Trying to be so cool and subtle,
But Peevy knows the mess they're in
It's not that he's opposed to sin,
But Peevy wants the world to know
When lovers love each other so!"
"Peeves you damn artist, get down here I have something to tell you," James said.
Peeves looked down at him and raised an eyebrow.
"If this is a lie, Jamie..."
"Me lie to you?" James said. "You wound me, Peeves. I thought we had something."
"Now, now, Jamie don't get all sentimental," Peeves said. "Here I am!"
He dove down from the ceiling and twirled through the air like an acrobat, making Lily jump out of the way, before coming to float in front of James, laying on his side like a Roman emperor feasting. Again, the shit-eating grin helped with the characterisation.
"Yes?" Peeves asked.
"Well, it's not so much that I have something to tell you that I have a present for you," James said. "You know, given the season."
"You shouldn't have," Peeves said. "I didn't get you anything."
"Your mere presence in this castle is enough for me, Peeves," James said. "Although you could, you know, let Evans and I slip away. This once. It's not that we dislike the song..."
"We really love the song," Lily chimed in.
"Absolutely," James promised. "But we have somewhere to be."
Peeves chortled and made a rude gesture, which they elected to ignore. "Depends. What's the present?"
James pulled the rune stone out of the pocket of his dress robe.
"Now, to be fair, I'm not entirely sure what this is," James said. "On account that I stole it. But someone obviously worked really hard to get it in Hogwarts, to put it in the right hands. But since it's shiny, I think it ought to go to you."
Peeves reached out for the stone, but James snatched his hand away.
"Evans and I..?"
"Yes, yes, I'll let you go in exchange," Peeves said, nearly hungrily. "Just this once. And I'll have a new song for next time."
"I can't wait to hear it," James said. Still, for good measure, he threw the runestone down the hallway. Peeves darted after it, and James pulled Lily away and down the other hall.
"James," she said. "How could you give that stone to the absolute most irresponsible ghost to the castle? We might need it..."
He pulled the real rune stone out of his chest pocket. "Which is why I made a copy of it, in case we needed to throw someone off our trail. And you better believe that Peeves will announce to everyone with even the slightest trace of an ear that he has it now, which could buy us time..."
Lily looked at him and grinned. She kissed him.
"Clever boy," she said.
They were about to swing by the Gryffindor Common Room to fetch their coats, the invisibility cloak, and maybe the map when James spotted him: the man in the burgundy cloak.
James grabbed Lily's hand and swung them around.
"They found out so quickly," Lily said as they sprinted away.
"It doesn't matter," James said, pulling her down another hallway. "I have a secret passage we can use. We can get to the quidditch pitch, grab my broom, and get this done quickly."
James was cold, so he wasn't sure how it was that Lily wasn't absolutely freezing with her legs bare as they flew over the grounds. Her shoes were beautiful for a party but unpractical for an adventure. He tried to mind their altitude and speed, but wasn't sure how much that helped.
Admittedly, visibility was a rather big issue while looking for a small stone on the grounds of an entire school at 10:00 PM, even with the Christmas lights out. But when they flew over the wood shed by Hagrid's hut, James felt the rune stone leap out of his pocket. If he hadn't been a seeker, he would have missed it. He lunged towards the stone and grabbed it, forcing them into a barrel roll that elicited a surprised scream from Lily whose grip around his waist tightened drastically.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
"I'm okay- just... surprised," she said. The stone was still fighting between James' fingers, trying to plunge down towards the snow again, like some strange mix between a snitch and a bludger. "I... I think here is probably a good place to land."
And so they did. Apparently very few students chose to hang around at the edges of the Forbidden Forest, and so their footsteps were the first in the snow. The snow crackled underneath their feet, and sometimes they punched through the sheet of ice and sunk in. They lit the tips of their wand with a simple lumos and followed the pull of the rune stone. When it got at its most violent, they dug through the snow. The cold bit into James' fingers, and it was Lily who found the second stone. It had the same rune for safe passage on one side, but only one nick in the stone.
"The first rune," Lily said. "So we're missing three more, to get us to five."
"There were three other verses to your song," James said. "Let's keep going."
"Okay," Lily said, her breath a puff in the air. "Okay, umm... with a tail as bright as a kite... with a tail as bright as a kite...
Said the little lamb to the shepherd boy
Do you hear what I hear
Ringing through the sky, shepherd boy
Do you hear what I hear
A song, a song, high above the trees,
With a voice as big as the sea
With a voice as big as the sea..."
"You really do have a lovely voice Evans," James said.
"Not the time," she said. "But thank you. A voice as big as the sea..."
"A voice as big as the sea," James repeated.
"There are merfolk in the lake," Lily said looking up.
Her eyes were bright, so James didn't want to tell her that yeah, he knew, Sirius had once tried drinking from the lake as a dog and nearly gotten drowned the merfolk were, apparently, not dog people.
"Professor Ilia told us in Runology," Lily said. "She's working with them to learn the written form of Mermish, they're there."
"What do they do in Winter?" James asked.
"I- I have no idea," Lily said. "But a voice as big as the sea, it has to mean them. We should be looking for something near the Great Lake."
James nodded, and mounted his broomstick again.
"We have to be more careful with these stones," Lily said. "We don't want them driving us off course again. With two, they'll be stronger."
"Okay," James said. "What do you want us to do?"
Lily chewed her knuckle and turned the rune over in her fingers. "Right now, they're all connected to each other. It's like a web, or a network... Maybe we can disconnect them, like unplugging an appliance."
"Pardon?"
"Never mind that," Lily said. She pointed her wand towards the stone. "Finite incantatem."
The golden writing on the rune seemed to fade before growing back stronger. James couldn't tell if the darkness was playing tricks on him, or if it was... pulsing.
"Finite incantatem," Lily repeated more forcefully.
And with that, the rune stone shattered into a thousand pieces. It might as well have been an eggshell in a giant's hand. Lily turned her hand upside down, dumping its remains into the snow and rubbing the dust off her fingers. A shiver went down James' spine, and it wasn't the cold and the wind anymore.
"Lily..." James said.
"What?" Lily asked, an edge to her voice that he wasn't used to. James backed away, hands up.
"As... as far as we can tell these stones are incredibly old magical relics," he said. "And you just... charmed one into oblivion."
"So?" Lily said.
"Lily, are you okay?" James asked.
"Fine," she snapped back. "Let's go find the third."
"No," James said.
"What on Earth do you mean no?"
"This is doing something to you," James said taking her hands. "Lily, what's the matter? You can tell me anything..."
"I can tell you anything, but that doesn't mean you understand it all, James," she said. She sighed. "James, all the Dark Magic around us... I know you think it's awful. I know that you're a genuinely good man who thinks that this is genuinely awful because people are getting hurt, and I know you and Sirius and Remus talk about joining the Order of the Phoenix to fight it all, if the Order's real after all... But it's not happening to you, James. Potter is an old wizarding name. Voldemort won't be knocking on your door anytime soon. It's people like me that he... he doesn't even want us, he wishes we were dead. Worse than dead, he wishes we didn't exist. James, there's a network of muggleborns at Hogwarts. We talk, we fill each other in, we teach the first years not to get called mudbloods, we fill each other in on the parts of magic we don't know. The stories that are coming out about what this man does to people like me..."
James wrapped his arms around her. She was shivering, but that probably wasn't from the snow and the cold either.
"Lily Evans," he said into her hair. "You're right, Voldemort isn't looking for good old purebloods like me. But if something happens to you, it happens to me. You're like a part of me now, Evans. A third arm or a sixth toe. A really cute sixth toe."
Lily laughed against his chest and he kissed her hair.
"You're right. I'll never know. I'll never have the anger that you have. But you are not an angry person, Lily. You're a strong person who feels strongly, but you... you don't have to hold all the rage in the world by yourself. I'll hold some for you. I'll hold as much as I can, as much as you need me."
Lily nodded against his chest. Her hair had its familiar apple and cinnamon and brown sugar smell. So familiar, James could barely remember a time when he hadn't been able to just gather Lily Evans against his chest like this, even if that had been the case a little over a year ago- he would have died a very gruesome death had he tried. He also couldn't imagine a future where this wasn't the case.
"Okay," Lily said pulling away. She took a deep breath. "But even if you are carrying a tablespoon of my anger, I want those runes gone."
"Let's go," James agreed, holding up his hand so that his broom flew up.
When they reached the Great Lake, James flew low. The ice on the Great Lake had been thick enough for students to skate on its surface for weeks now, and it was scratched by skate marks and covered in snow prints where the ice hadn't been cleared.
"Cimex lux," Lily whispered behind him. A flurry of small lights appeared around them, like a flock of fireflies escorting them through the night.
"Beautiful," James said.
"Thank you," Lily said. "I think Flitwick would be quite pleased."
"I don't know about you but all things considered, now that we're flying over it I'm finding that the Great Lake is..."
"On the Great side?" Lily suggested.
"So much bigger than anticipated," James said. The rune in his pocket wasn't giving any helpful hints this time, for whatever reason. James wondered if the runes' connection had been broken when Lily had snapped one of the links in their chain. Maybe they were just too far away. Regardless, there was too much ground to cover.
"Well," Lily said. "The carol was very specific about a song," Lily said. "I think we need to... to get closer to the merfolk."
"I don't know how we could break through this ice," James said. "At least not without creating a huge disruption, barging into their home, appearing very rude, and possibly attracting the attention of the Giant Squid."
"The Giant Squid isn't real, James."
"Just because nobody's ever seen it doesn't mean it's not-"
"I'm not having this fight with you again, darling," Lily said.
"Hey, didn't you say Professor Ilia was working with the merfolk to learn Mermish?" James said.
"Written Mermish, yes. Why?"
"Well, because if she's still speaking with them regularly, there must be a meeting point," James said. "A meeting point where the ice is broken, where they can communicate, no?"
"James that's brilliant," Lily said. "It should be accessible by foot, then... We can probably rule out the side of the Lake that borders the Forbidden Forest, or anything too close to the school itself- for privacy reason... Head towards the far side of the Lake."
James did. The Great Lake was at the Northern limit of the castle grounds. Past it was the road to the castle, where the Thestral-pulled carriages drove to loop from the train station, around the lake, towards Hogsmeade, and then through the gates to the castle. He had to admit: he had very rarely strayed that far on the grounds when the full moon wasn't hanging in the sky. On those occasions, it made for a very secluded place to coral Remus and horse around. They'd even gone through the train station once. But seeing this place through his human eyes was strange at best, scary at worst.
But sure enough, Lily was right: someone had carved a massive hole shaped like a half-moon into the ice, connecting it to the land. They landed on the ground, and Lily immediately lowered herself onto the ice.
"Lily," James hissed. "Be careful."
"I'm fine," she whispered back. "I'm just... I'm just trying to get as close to the Lake as possible."
"Please do so without slipping and drowning," James said.
"I'll do my best."
Lily's army of fireflies fluttered around happily and helpfully, which was yet more proof that charms were a reflection of the person who had cast them. But they couldn't find the stone, and the one in James' hand was perfectly still.
He was looking down into the dark waters of the lake. They seemed opaque. However beautifully the merfolk might be able to sing, they were nowhere to be seen now.
"We might be at the wrong place," Lily said. "Or I might have broken the connection between all of the stones and ruined our best chance..."
"I think we're in the right place," James said.
Lily sung the verse again to herself. "A song, a song, high above the tree with a voice as big as the sea... with a voice as big as the sea..."
She kept looking at the Forbidden Forrest's treeline in the distance, and then back at the Lake.
"You didn't take herbology after fifth year, did you?" Lily asked.
"No," James said. "I killed everything I touched. Why?"
"Nothing," Lily said. "Well... in sixth year we cover aquatic plants. See, Professor Ceres once said something about how magical plants often grew in clumps in the water."
"Okay," James said.
"When the song tells us that we're looking for something 'high above the trees,' I just wonder... What if the forest is underwater? Think about it; we were both caught off-guard by how big the lake was..."
James nodded. "It's worth a chance. Let's go."
They set off across the icy lake, waddling closer and closer to its center. James remembered his Dad, a long time ago, telling him to be careful with the pond behind their house because the ice would always be thinner in the center. They were careful, and they held onto each other's hands. Lily's fingers were so cold, James tried to hold them extra tight, but he was freezing as well.
Twice, Lily stopped them once to whisper Calidi. A wave of heat spread through James- he even felt feverish for a second.
They held their wands close to the ice, hoping to see what lay beneath it. This had the unpleasant effect of attracting the ugliest band of grindylows James had ever seen (and hoped to ever see). They followed them under the ice which was both annoying and unsettling.
"The good news about these ugly little things," James said, "is that they're vegetarian, despite all the time they spend trying to drown actual humans. So we must be getting close to a pretty good patch of seaweed or something... This ordinarily useless piece of information about grindylows is brought to you by Remus Lupin, oh by the way."
Lily laughed. "I feel bad that we abandoned him at Slughorn's party."
"Oh, don't worry about that. He'll be fine," James said. "Actually, I'm allowed to tell you. He had a date."
"What?" Lily said, with a shocked expression turning into a grin across her face. "Remus Lupin on a date?"
"Utter madness," James agreed. "But he really liked this girl. I convinced him to do it, the others don't know so keep this to yourself."
"My lips are sealed," Lily said. "But I can ask him how the date went, right?"
"Absolutely, but better not call it a date. It'll freak him out," James said.
"Your friends need to pick up a few crucial skills," Lily said. "Peter needs to learn how to talk to women, Sirius needs to get over his massive fear of commitment, and Remus needs to learn how much people love him."
"If I had a time-turner and went back a year, do you think you'd ever believe you'd have insinuated that I was the most well-adjusted Marauder?" James asked.
"I don't think things I say in the middle of a frozen lake are on the record," Lily said.
When he looked down at her she grinned and kissed his cheek. "For the record, maybe I wouldn't have believed it. But a year and a half is a long time. A lot of things can change- have changed, I suppose, and I can't really imagine them going back. I think I can honestly say I don't know where I would be if you hadn't followed me out of Transfigurations, that day Brian Mulcock kept asking how it was that Voldemort transfigured muggle bodies. I don't think I'd ever told you, but I was on my way to Dumbledore's office to tell him I wanted to leave. But you walked me back to the Gryffindor Common Room and told me about your dad, and I knew there was still something human about this world of magic."
"You hadn't told me," James said.
"It was because of what you said," Lily told him.
I don't think it gets better, at least it hasn't for me yet. But you learn how to live without it squashing you. So it becomes easier, James remembered telling her. He'd shown her the picture he carried in his pocket of his Dad, waving happily at the camera and holding up his new potted mandrake. It was a goofy picture, and it made Lily laugh a little bit when he'd told her that Dad had actually dropped the pot about ten seconds after the picture was taken. When they got to the Common Room, he dug into Remus' stash of hot cocoa powder to make her a cup and they sat by the window and she told him about her mum in turn. They alternated like that, until suddenly they were talking about anything and everything else and they just hadn't stopped since. A lot could happen in a year and a half.
"That's when I knew I actually didn't mind you," she said squeezing his hand. "Because it was like I met you, instead of meeting the boy I thought you'd been and still were. And you were human enough for the whole world that day."
He was to one who spotted the stone on the ice, when it was about ten feet away from them. What else could it be, this far out on the lake? And sure enough, under the ice, aquatic plants were growing in thick clusters.
They sped up. Truth be told, James was anxious to get this done and over with. As they got colder, and the night got darker, Lily's warming spells were losing their effectiveness.
Lily picked up the stone, ran her fingers along its surface, and looked back at James with a nod.
"We did it," he said cheerfully. She nodded and smiled in his direction, but her face faltered.
"James," she said. She grabbed his hand. "Run."
James did, and nearly lost his footing. He saved himself from a possibly embarrassing and definitely life-threatening face plant on the ice and looked over his shoulder. It was the wizard in the burgundy cloak, the Death Eater, and he looked angry. He wore a mask, silver and only grotesquely human, as he advanced towards them.
"Expelliarmus!" James called. The Death Eater was pushed back, and they ran across the ice as best they could, but the speed of their steps had to weighed against the risks of falling or slipping. They progressed gingerly at best, painfully slow realistically, and too slow at its worst.
Whenever they looked over their shoulder, the Death Eater seemed to be closer. They were nearly in spell range again.
"Drop the stone and I won't hurt you," the Death Eater said.
"Drop your mask, you coward!" Lily called back. James had not expected his girlfriend to sass a Death Eater, but there was something undeniably satisfying about it.
"Crucio!" the Death Eater called.
"Protego!"
James' spell protected the both of them.
"Aguamenti!" Lily called from behind their shield. A jet of water burst from the tip of her wand and doused the Death Eater, who fell back and slid away from them. He rose and cast some kind of spell that caused him to slide across the ice towards them, like an arrow gliding towards its target. James wasn't sure if he was honestly hearing this or if the heat of the moment was getting to his head, but he thought that he heard ice crackling under their laboured footsteps.
"Aguamenti!" Lily cried again, bringing the Death Eater down again. "James! Ideas?"
James had none: there was no way this game would last until they got to the edge of the lake, and then what? Bring the Death Eater back to the castle? Duel on solid land?
The Death Eater cast two spells in rapid succession and a cruciatus curse hit Lily. She fell to the ice with a scream, holding her stomach. Spiderweb fractures definitely sprouted across the ice when her knee made contact with it.
"Lily!" he shouted.
"Crucio!" the Death Eater called again. James cast a protection spell over Lily, which left him wide open for the Death Eater's next curse: "Imperio!"
It hit James square in the chest. He felt his body rise into the air, but it was nothing like flying. James couldn't feel the air around him, he was caught in his own body, struggling against the spell. James' muscles immediately went stiff and it was painful, it was as if he'd just finished an entire quidditch drill without a single water break. There was no broom to grip: James was helpless and disconnected from the world.
"Which one of you has it?" the Death Eater said. "Which one of you has the Dark Lord's stone?"
The Death Eater hit Lily with another cruciatus curse, and James couldn't even scream about it.
"Is it you?" the Death Eater yelled at her. Lily was curled on the ice, motionless. Her breathing was so erratic that she couldn't answer.
He turned to James, and James felt his hand lower down and reach for the stone in this pocket. His mind panicked, but the muscles and nerves of his body might as well have been a scarecrow's straw filling. The one part of his body that the Death Eater didn't seem to be controlling, his eyes, flitted towards Lily in a panic. From her position crouched on the ice, she looked up at him. A piece of red hair fell over her eye, but there was something fierce about the way she was crouched, like a tiger about to crouch, which let him know that something was coming.
"Crucio!" the Death Eater said. The spell hit Lily again. She screamed but raised her own wand.
"Bombarda Maxima!" she cried. The sound of the ice cracking felt like the loudest that had ever reached James' ear.
Just before the ice under their feet shattered, Lily jumped up and grabbed James by the hand. She dragged him down with her into the Great Lake's icy waters.
Water only flooded into James' mouth and nose for a second before he could suddenly breathe normally again. When he opened his eyes he saw Lily by the glow of her light, with a bubble around her mouth and nose.
Bubble-Head charm. Brilliant, he thought. He would have kissed her if he'd have been sure that it wouldn't burst the bubble.
During the commotion, the imperius curse had broken. James reached into his pocket and closed his hand around the first stone: he raised it to show Lily. She nodded, looking relieved, and raised the second stone, which she held in her own hand. They were okay.
She reached out to take his glasses before they floated away. She tucked them in his robe pocket, and he took out his wand. He wasn't very good at wordless magic, but he did manage to produce some light.
Above them, shards of ice had floated back into place, closing off most of the gap they had left. James heard the Death Eater above them roaring and pacing the ice angrily.
They turned back to one another. They couldn't talk, but looks were enough to let them know that they were on the same page: what next?
Eventually, they decided that they should just swim towards what they thought (and hoped) was the castle. Or at least that's what James was thinking of doing- and when he mimed it out, Lily followed suit.
They were slow in the water, weighed down by their robes, swimming made awkward by the stones and wands they held onto for dear life. A million questions raced through James' head: how were they going to surface safely? Where could they go now that this Death Eater had tracked them down and knew what they were doing? If three stones were removed, was that enough? How long were their Bubble-Head charms going to last, and what good would that do when their last warmth spell faded?
Without his glasses, he was absolutely useless and noticed the approaching group of merfolk at the last possible minute, long after Lily had grabbed his hand.
James put his wand between his teeth and held his hands up. One of the merfolk, however, waved his trident in the direction of James' right hand, which held the stone. James lowered it and showed the stone to them. Lily did the same next to him, which sent the merfolk in a flurry. James couldn't understand a word of the gurgling mess of sounds he assumed was Mermish, accompanied by an extraordinary amount of bubbles. The only familiar sound that he could recognise sounded an awful lot like Dumbledore.
Finally, the Merfolk came to a consensus and they uncoiled long strands of braided seaweed in Lily and James' direction. James kept his wand in his mouth and took the line with his remaining hand. Lily followed suit. And just like that, the pack of mermaids took off dragging Lily and James behind them. They sped through the water so quickly, the waves felt sharp on James' skin and he was terrified that he or Lily would let go and get lost in the lake. Somewhere along the way, the Bubble-Head charm popped. An instant later, they were thrown from the water and flopped on the beach by the merfolk. James put his glasses back on and looked out towards the Great Lake again. He saw the merfolk, as close to the shore as they could get without finding themselves beached. They were repeating it: Dumbledore, Dumbledore!
"Right," James said. "Thank you! I- I'll tell Dumbledore you... said hello? Saved our lives?"
Next to him, Lily was panting and coughing her air. Her spell must have given out too. James saw her cradling her stomach, the same way she had under the cruciatus curse.
"Come," he said putting an arm around her. "Come, we have to get shelter..."
It wasn't comfortable or glamorous, but he brought her to the boat house, which was the closest dry and sheltered place available to them.
"Lily," he said. He pushed her soaked cloak off of her shoulders, discarding it entirely. "Lily, are you okay? Where did he hurt you?"
"Cruciatus curse doesn't leave damage," Lily said holding her stomach. She took a deep breath. "God, that was awful..."
James stripped down the top layers of his dress robes, down to his pants, shirt and vest.
"Siccum," James said. After a complicated little wave, hot air shot out of his wand. Their clothes steamed as they dried, and the heat nearly burned after the cold of the Great Lake's water. Once Lily's cloak was dry, he wrapped her in it again.
"That's better," Lily said. "Thank you."
"You were brilliant out there, love," James said. He kissed her forehead. "We got it. We got the second stone."
"We have to go," Lily said. "We need to move, he'll get the third if we don't... God, now would be such a great time for an adult…"
"I hate to tell you, but we are the adults," James said. "They've got eyes on us. I don't know if you noticed on our way here, but the castle lights were out- they've shut us out in the cold."
"And how will we get to the other stone?" Lily said. She was shaking still. "James, what if… what if we're trapped…"
James took a deep breath and wrung his hands together.
"I don't know Lily," James said. "I don't know, but we have to try. Who knows, maybe they'll just assume we drowned in the lake. Where is the last stone anyways?"
The words came to her so quickly, James knew she'd been thinking about it, despite all this talk of giving up:
"Said the shepherd boy to the mighty king
Do you know what I know?
In your palace warm, mighty king
Do you know what I know?
A child, a child, shivers in the cold
Let us bring him silver and gold.
Let us bring him silver and gold."
"Silver and gold," James said. Despite the spell he'd just cast, his breath was fogging up as he spoke. "Silver and gold... Gringotts?"
"It has to be on the grounds," Lily reminded him. "On the ground, silver and gold..."
For whatever godless reason, Slughorn's voice popped into James' mind. Specifically, his snide little comments about the upcoming Gryffindor and Slytherin match.
"House colours," James blurted. "House colours, gold and silver are house colours! They're house colours and you bring them to... the quidditch pitch!"
"I hope this isn't wishful thinking," Lily said.
"It's the quidditch pitch," James said confidently. He placed his stone in the breast pocket of his shirt. "I wish we'd brought my broom..."
"We can make it on foot," Lily said. She got up shakily. James wondered if the person who had decided to write that the cruciatus curse didn't leave any damage in their textbooks had considered the incredible fatigue that came with such a sharp pain, or the shock of it all.
"Lily, let me go..."
"Alone? I thought we were past your arrogant phase."
"You're unwell..."
"I am fine," Lily said gritting her teeth.
"Fine," James said. "Then let me go first. As an Animagus- I can get closer to the quidditch pitch without being seen. Come on, be a dear?"
Lily laughed.
"How can you make puns at a time like this?"
"Carpe deerem," James said.
"You should have quit while you were ahead, love," Lily said. She smiled, though her lips had a blueish tinge. He cast another one of the hot-air charms, took her hands and rubbed them in his.
"But it's not crazy," James said. "I'll change forms. Reach the quidditch pitch by walking along the Hogwarts wall; take the long way there…"
"And what do I do?" Lily said. "I think it would be an even worse idea to split up, now."
James was torn between how little he liked the idea of Lily doing anything other than staying safe and dry and out of harm's way, and how much sense she was making. They were stronger together, that much was clear. But he still didn't want to admit that she was making sense, so instead he said, "I wish we had the invisibility cloak."
"I'm surprised you didn't keep it for whatever it was you wanted to do after we got this party over with," Lily said.
James couldn't believe it had all started with a party. He regretted every single criticism he had made about last year's party, it had been fantastic.
"I can try an Invisibility Spell," Lily said.
"You know how to cast those?" James said.
"Well, I was reading up," Lily said. "I get curious about your cloaks sometimes."
"If you can pull it off, let's go for it," James nodded. "With a little luck, we'll make it to the quidditch pitch. I… I don't know where the stone will be, but if we can get there, then that's something. We can figure out the rest from there."
Hopefully.
He'd been an Animagus for long enough to notice the small details and changes about his animal form. For instance, he'd noticed over the years that the stag's coat got thicker as the seasons advanced, which was proving itself to be massively useful in this particular moment. That being said, the first January where he'd shed his antlers and grown new ones had been incredibly alarming. Sirius had laughed so hard, he'd nearly shifted back into his human form out of pure joy. But James was thankful for his Animagus self, now as always, as he treaded through the quiet landscape.
James' hoofs treaded lightly on the snow. Much more lightly than Lily could, which was why he was carrying her now. That, and to keep her off the snow and close enough that she could whisper to him. That was the downside of being in Animagus form: he couldn't talk.
Lily was the only person he'd ever carried. It was a strange feeling, but he liked the feeling of her fingers tangled in his coat and the way her knees locked around his middle to keep her balance. When they had started training to shape shifts, Remus had warned them that having two forms wasn't like having two sets of shoes: it fundamentally changed your sense of normalcy and the experiences of the world at your disposal. It was in moments like these that James realised just how right Moony, as per usual, had been. There was no way he could explain this moment and make it sound normal. But Lily was there, and he could feel how evenly her heart was beating through it all, and that was something.
He and Lily had been seeing each other for nine months when he'd told her about the stag. It had taken so long because any story about the stag was also a story about the rat and the dog and the wolf, and so Remus had the ultimate hold on them. The four of them had brought Lily to a quiet part of the grounds. The others had been strictly instructed not to speak unless they were addressed, and James had told Lily quietly that he was sorry for keeping secrets but that he could explain everything and that he hoped she wouldn't be mad. He'd transformed right in front of her, and part of him had been convinced that she would see this as a repetition of the arrogance and defiance she'd seen in him and rejected so many times before.
She'd definitely been surprised, and the other Marauders were just watching her anxiously. Then Peter transformed into the rat, Sirius the dog, and Remus stood alone. He'd explained that he couldn't chose his form, which was why the others had created theirs. He'd explained everything gently, kindly, cautiously keeping a distance from Lily.
She'd approached the stag tentatively. She'd run her hand down the stag's head, her hand as gentle as when she played with James' hair when he was in human form. Remus had told her that James would have told her right away, and that he shouldn't be mad at her, but that that was her decision.
Lily had raised her wand and said quietly: Expecto Patronum. A doe had erupted from her wand, and it galloped swiftly around them.
Lily had put her hand on the stag's head again and told James, "I'm not mad. This is beautiful. You're beautiful." Those words had felt beautiful. James thought of them often. Of course, Sirius and Peter shifting back into human form and loudly cheering had ruined the moment a bit. But James still thought that the kiss they'd shared when he'd shifted back, his arms around her waist lifting her right off the ground, had been one of their best.
Once they got to the quidditch pitch, James carefully paced around it once. There weren't even any footsteps in the snow.
"Perfect," Lily said. "Let's go in."
They went through the player's entry, which Lily unlocked with a quiet Alohomora. James pushed ahead and paused. Lily slid off his back. Though she was invisible, her feet left their prints as they punched through the snow.
The stadium looked eerie while it was empty. James trotted around, not sure what he was looking for. Thankfully, his vision in the dark was probably better than Lily's at that moment.
"James," she whispered. "Do you think it's safe for me to light my wand?"
James turned towards where he thought she was and inclined his head.
"Lumos," she whispered. A dot of light broke through the darkness, and soon her army of fireflies returned.
"Silver and gold," Lily repeated to herself. "Silver and gold…"
James hugged the wall of the pitch: he figured he wouldn't lose anything by circling the pitch, like a Seeker would when the snitch decided to vanish. A chill went down James' spine. He wasn't sure what it was, but his ear twitched.
Then he realised that regardless of the strength and nobility he'd chosen his stag form for, deer were ultimately prey animals. The animal part of his Animagus, the part that carried that inherent baggage with it, had been trying to warn James- in the same way that he would sometimes sense Remus' werewolf changing its course before Sirius did.
He turned around just as two Death Eaters raised their wand towards Lily.
Since Lily was carrying his wand for him, James simply charged.
Head down and with the element of surprise on his side, he caught one of the Death Eaters in his antlers. The Death Eater screamed, and James swiveled to the right. The Death Eater's breath was knocked out of his chest as James threw him to the ground. His wand fell in the snow, and James made sure to step on it hard.
The other Death Eater probably would have turned on James for this, but he was busy dueling with Lily. Lily Evans had many skills, a suspicious amount of skills some would say, but she was no natural dueller. What she'd done on the Great Lake had been astounding, but it showcased her ingenuity and her unwillingness to fight when she could get away. Violence was against every fiber in her body, James knew.
"Expelliarmus!" Lily cried, pushing the Death Eater back. He cast some kind of spell that seemed to cut through Lily's.
James turned back to the Death Eater on the ground. James charged again, but this time settled for a swift kick to the head. That was the Marauders' plan for stabilizing Remus on a full moon, Heaven forbid: Sirius would pull him down, James would knock him out, and Peter would go back to his human form and get whoever it was that they had caught on a midnight stroll out of the way and to the Castle. James figured it could apply to a Death Eater just as well, and sure enough that was one Death Eater knocked out. Lily would be proud that he'd done something productive without magic.
He turned back to the Death Eater Lily was dueling. He could tell she was tiring; her footing was less secure in the snow and her breath was cold. He realised all this time that she couldn't keep herself warm, dry, invisible, and safe all at the same time.
James charged again. Lily looked over her shoulder and jumped out of the way when she saw him coming. The Death Eater was too surprised at the sight of a stag barreling towards him to react in time, and James crashed into him. He landed awkwardly but the important thing was that the other guy's landing was worst, and James staggered back up. He turned human again quickly, and Lily tossed him his wand. He held it up to the Death Eater.
"Incarerous," Lily said, conjuring ropes out of thin air. They wound themselves around the Death Eater's wrists like a snake.
"Where is it?" James demanded. "Where is the stone?"
The Death Eater looked up at him defiantly, behind that stupid silver mask.
"Accio, mask!" James said. The silver mask flew off. James didn't know the man, but that nearly made it worst. The Death Eater could have been anybody: middle-aged, pasty, receding hairline, small beetle eyes. James might have walked by him down Diagon Alley before or seen him at a distant relative's wedding. They had spent the entire night running from the man in the burgundy robe, and as it turned out he could have been any man at all. He was that unremarkable and that dangerous, all at once.
"If you think two students have what it takes to stop the Dark Lord, you're even more foolish than I thought," the man said. He spit towards them, and James pulled Lily away from him.
James raised his wand.
"Your imperius curse wasn't that strong, I saw what you did to her," he said. "All bets are off. You better start talking."
The man laughed. "Silly children. You cannot stop the Dark Lord from getting that which he seeks. You haven't seen the tide of the world turn yet, but in time you shall see."
"If it means seeing the world like you do, don't count it," Lily said. James felt his heart twist for this woman and her words and the determined set of her mouth.
James raised his wand: "Petrificus totalus."
The man went stiff. Though they knew he wouldn't bother them again, Lily cast an extra set of ropes to tie him around the ankles. She was shivering again, but smiled when she turned towards him.
"Good news," Lily said. "I think I know where we need to look now."
Lily took his hand and led him to the equipment shack between the two dressing rooms.
"Give me a boost," she said.
He did, and she hauled herself on the roofs. A few seconds later he heard a gentle "catch," and the rune fell on his hand. She crawled back to the edge of the roof and smiled down at him.
"Silver and gold," she said, quoting the song. "The golden snitch? This is where they keep the equipment…"
"You're brilliant," James said. "Come back down, I'll catch you."
She did, and she lingered in his arms for a moment longer.
"Lily, you're freezing," he said. "We took out the two Death Eaters we know of. Let's go back to the castle…"
"Don't you want to hear where I think the last stone is?" Lily asked.
Lily sang to him, her voice soft in his ear as he gave her a piggy-back ride to the Castle's front gates.
"Said the king to the people everywhere
Listen to what I say
Pray for peace, people everywhere!
Listen to what I say
The child, the child, sleeping in the night
He will bring us goodness and light
He will bring us goodness and light"
"Goodness and light," Lily said. "That's for the castle itself. That's what Hogwarts is, period."
"It's not that I disagree," James said. "It's just that I don't know how that would fit in… into a Death Eater's code."
Lily was quiet for a second.
"Light means a lot of things to a lot of people," she finally answered. "Voldemort had to learn magic somewhere, you know."
"Do you really think he was a student here? Like us?"
"I don't think that anybody or any place is good or bad," Lily said. "I think we make good and bad choices that make us good and bad people."
"You're far too clever to be wasting your time with me," James said.
"I think Slughorn secretly agrees," Lily said, which made James laugh.
"It can't be past midnight. Do you think we could sneak back to the party?" James asked.
"Goodness, what for?" Lily said. "I want a blanket and a cup of tea."
"That can be arranged," James said. "Do you think the first years can be convinced that that sofa by the fireplace has cooties since we've sat in it so much?"
Lily laughed. "You have to be nice to them."
James had to admit, he usually didn't pay much attention to the front gates of Hogwarts. They were always open when he needed them to be: at the start of the year and whenever a trip to Hogsmeade was scheduled. At any other time and for any other need, a secret passage would do just as well and be far more interesting. Now that he was looking at them, he appreciated the craftsmanship that had been put into their tall iron forms.
Lily slid off his back, and approached the gate cautiously, following the glow of her wand. James stayed close behind. In the map of the grounds that he could conjure in his head, rather well even without the Marauder's Map he may add, James could trace their route overnight. They had gone to the grounds' Northernmost point, the edge of the Great Lake, the Quidditch Pitch in the East, the Forbidden Forest in the West, and now they were at the Southern gates. This final piece of the puzzle made sense, if the Death Eaters had been trying to surround the castle.
"There," Lily said, shining her light on the last stone. "Just under the gate."
She crouched down and reached for the stone.
A hand closed over hers.
And the gates swung open.
One of the most terrifying things about Voldemort was that very few people had actually seen him. To most, he was just a name. It made the recent trend of boycotting the name entirely and saying "You-Know-Who" even more mindless, to James. But based off of the descriptions that had been whispered, this man standing at the gates – tall and pale, head as smooth as a marble and eyes with all the charm of a snake's - was Voldemort.
He looked at James and waved his hand dismissively. James went flying and smacked into a nearby oak tree. He hit the ground hard, his wrist screeching in protest, but scrambled to sit up.
"Lily!" he said.
He watched Voldemort pull her across the gate -outside of the castle's protective enchantments- and throw her into the snow.
"You have something of mine, girl," he said.
Lily swallowed hard. She shook her head.
"I see you've been hunting my stones mindlessly, then," Voldemort said. "A pity, but not a surprise."
"They're not yours," Lily said. "They're ancient magic. They shouldn't serve someone like you."
Voldemort waved his hand again, and Lily went flying even further back, scrambling backwards in the snow.
Voldemort turned towards James. He reached out one hand, and the fourth stone, the last one they'd had to find, flew into his hand. The ones in James' pocket suddenly felt warm in his pocket, nearly burning his thigh. As long as Voldemort held one of the stones, he could walk in the space that separated it and the others, James realised. Wherever they went, Voldemort would be able to follow as long as he held the stone. An
Which was why James took a deep breath, shot red sparks into the air in case somebody was watching, and then sprinted towards the front gates- and towards the Dark Lord.
Running towards the Dark Lord was such a terrible idea that Voldemort himself looked surprised to see James charge towards him. But it didn't last long enough; Voldemort raised his wand and threw James to the ground, pushing him back onto the grounds. That shouldn't have happened either: not while James was within the castle's enchantments. That was how James realised that the stones had their own connections amongst themselves, but now they were connecting James, Lily, and Voldemort's magics.
"You," Voldemort said. James felt his chest tighten. "You understand what's happening, don't you, boy? There is no need for me to hurt you. That would be a waste of magical blood. If there's one thing you should know it's that I hate spilling magical blood. You can give me the stones, and you and your girlfriend can run along. I understand the sanctuary of the castle. I seek only to fetch something of mine I left here a long time ago."
"That sounds like a lie," James said.
"Give me the stone and this can be over quickly."
What he hadn't considered was that James' girlfriend had gotten back to her feet while he'd been distracted. She raised her wand.
"Expelliarmus!" she said.
Voldemort's wand flew out of his hand. However, he shot out his hand and closed it around thin air, paralyzing the wand midair.
"How dare you-"
Lily's entire body immediately constricted, and she fell face-first into the snow.
"Lily!"
"I am not in the business of attacking children, but I'll have to stop playing nice," Voldemort said. He twisted his hand and Lily's body twisted in the snow. She screamed.
"Don't hurt her!" James cried. "Don't- we'll give them to you!"
Voldemort turned back to him.
"Excellent. A rational young man, James Potter."
From the corner of his eye, James saw Lily getting up again. She was like a Starthistle: she never stopped coming back.
"How do you know my name?" James asked. He wondered if the dark wizard was a legiliment, like the rumours said he was. He wondered if that was how he got into peoples' heads, or if people were allowing him in willingly.
"Curiosity is no named sin, but its consequences are just as dire," Voldemort said.
"I'm only curious about you because we know so little," James said, swallowing hard. "Don't you have people who can run errands for you?"
That was all the time Lily had needed him to buy.
"Oppugno!" she cried. A flock of white doves appeared midair and, with a sharp wave of her wand, dove down onto Voldemort. The element of surprise was only on their side for a few seconds at best, before Voldemort's wand sliced through the air and struck down most of the birds.
James made another run for the front gates, but Voldemort pushed him back. James screamed when he landed on his hurt wrist again.
Voldemort was essentially doing what James told his beaters to do whenever the Hufflepuff chasers got in their hopelessly effective pyramid formation: stop the three players from getting close enough to each other to make passes, at any cost. In this case, Voldemort wanted to hold on to his ability to pierce into the ground.
"Expelliarmus!" he cried, trying to push Lily back.
"P-protego!"
Spells flew back and forth, but as they fought two-against-one, they managed to stand their ground.
Voldemort was a dueller like James had never met before, not even in competitive duels. Nothing seemed to hit him, he seemed to anticipate every step James would take, every decision he would hesitate on, every hex he would send. James wasn't used to this: he was used to being top of the class, to being told how clever he was, to always be faster than the other players on the field. He tried to push away the panic settling in. Lily seemed to have none of his hesitation.
"I know who you are," Lily shouted over the sound of spells flying and crashing into each other midair. Her hair had mostly fallen out of place and tumbled haphazardly. Her cloak was sliding off one of her shoulders, but her stance was strong and balanced, as if she was about to throw a punch. "The code you gave your Death Eaters is a muggle Christmas carol. You're no pureblood. You're no better than I am."
The next curse Voldemort sent their way was a blast that knocked James off his feet. James scrambled his way up, but Lily had thrown up a shield. She staggered to her feet too; there was an ugly cut on her knee.
"You can rage about it all you like," Lily said confidently. "That doesn't make it any less true."
She was reverting back to the Charms that she knew and loved. Roots shot out of the earth and wound themselves around Voldemort's legs. Still, Voldemort sent a blast in James' direction, pushing him further into the grounds and farther away from Lily.
"You're not the pureblood you want the world to see you as," Lily said. "Have you ever thought of how quickly those Death Eaters would desert you, if they knew? If they knew you were like me?"
Another flock of doves rained down, and Voldemort slashed his wand across the air. A fiery whip ripped through the flock and their shield at the same time. Dead birds fell to the ground, staining the snow red.
James very much wanted to kindly remind his girlfriend not to make the archetype of absolute evil unnecessarily angrier than he already was, but then realised that Lily was playing a different game. She was making him clumsy. She was making him distracted and slow, and James could feel the spell against him weakening. As soon as he could break free from it, he barrelled towards the front gates.
"Nothing you can do will undo that simple fact," Lily said. "That you're an imposter. The lie is in your veins, sir. At least the rest of us own up to it."
Voldemort's pupils dilated. He turned to James just long enough to disarm him in a move so quick, James missed it. He turned back and pointed his wand towards Lily. "Avada Kedavra."
"NO!" James yelled.
Somebody else threw up a shield in front of Lily, but the impact of the two spells created a blast that threw her to the ground.
Four Thestrals landed between Lily and James, and Dumbledore dismounted one.
Dumbledore raised his wand. "Accio stone."
Lily and James' stones went flying to the headmaster's hand, but Voldemort waved his hand and sent Dumbledore's spell astray.
"It won't be so easy, professor," Voldemort said sneeringly.
He stepped through the gates, walking between his own stone and the ones at Dumbledore's feet.
James wasn't entirely sure what was going on at this point, but with four new people ready to take the brunt of the operation and no stones to worry about, he ran towards Lily. The second he had her back on her feet, he pulled her back towards the gates. A man in his early thirties with a shock of red hair came to them, and helped Lily limp across the safety line.
"We must get you away," he said.
"We're not going anywhere without Professor Dumbledore," Lily said, her eyes fixed on the scene before her.
Dumbledore pointed towards the ground and drew his hand up. A wall of light emerged and drew up with it, like a shield.
"The castle is no longer yours, Tom," Dumbledore said. "I believed I had made that clear enough a long time ago, but this can serve as your reminder. No use calling more Death Eaters, the ministry's Aurors are on their way."
"Do you think that a few Aurors scare me, old man?" Voldemort said. He raised his wand to the air. "Morsmordre!"
James had never heard the spell before. A burst of green light disturbingly close to the one that had nearly hit Lily burst from Voldemort's wand, and the Dark Mark etched itself in the sky above their heads.
"James," Lily whispered. "James, we have the majority of the stones. If we can activate them… draw them to each other again, we can get his back…"
James looked from Lily to the scene.
"How?" James said. "You obliviated one…"
"I know," Lily said. "And the chain that gives the stones their power means we need five of them…"
James chewed his lip.
"Do you think it has to be five real stones?" James asked.
"I- I don't know," Lily said.
James reached into his pocket and pulled out another cheap copy he'd made from the first stone they'd collected, like the one he'd given to Peeves. Geminio was coming in handy.
"You brilliant troublemaker," Lily said, taking the stone from James. He chewed her knuckle for a second, thinking of what to do next. The copy of the stone had no power, after all. If it did, they'd have spent all evening tracking down Peeves, too. With a deep breath, Lily touched her wand to the stone. She whispered under her breath as she went, casting charms James had never heard of despite having been in her exact classes for the last seven years.
Now, all three other witches and wizards Dumbledore had arrived with were helping him hold up the wall of light.
"Do you think I didn't know that you were actually on the grounds the whole while?" Voldemort told Dumbledore. "Your Order of the Phoenix is decisively misinformed then."
Something jumped in James' chest. The Order. It was real.
He turned back to Lily. She didn't break her eye contact with the stone. James noticed that she'd flipped it upside down: she was looking at the nicks at the bottom of the stone now. That's when James realised that she was adding a nick: trying to make it fit the form of the second stone she'd shattered on the ice.
"Why did you do it, Tom?" Dumbledore asked. "Why did you come back to Hogwarts, then?"
"For the pleasure of seeing you, Headmaster," Voldemort said. He slashed his wand through the air, but the red bolt bounced off of the protective shield.
James turned back to Lily. Her hands were shaking, but she whispered forcefully.
And then all of a sudden, the stone in her hand started glowing, the ones Dumbledore had discarded in the snow got so hot that everything around them melted, and the one in Voldemort's hand flew back towards them.
James just managed to catch it.
As soon as it left his fingertips, an invisible source threw Voldemort away from the grounds and outside of the gates. The wall of light seemed to spring free from Dumbledore's grip and went to join a larger, protective bubble around the castle. The air cracked around Voldemort as he disapparated.
The dark mark floating in the sky, however, remained.
Lily's knees gave out next to him. She dropped her wand out of exhaustion, but James caught her. Quickly, the red-haired man was back at their side and helping him.
She got her footing back and put one of her hands on James' shoulder. She took a deep breath and rested her forehead against his chest.
"He's gone?" Lily asked.
"Yes, you beautiful genius," James said kissing the top of her head. "He's gone."
Lily breathed a sigh of relief against him but didn't move.
This was much more important and much more real than some green haze imprinted on the sky.
There was a big general fuss insofar as bringing Lily and James to the infirmary was concerned.
When they arrived, Madam Pomfrey tried to bring them each to their own separate bed, Lily had taken James' hand.
"No," she said. She looked at him. "I don't want to be without you."
So now they were sitting side by side on the edge of one bed.
Madam Pomfrey was outraged at the whole situation, and she wrapped them both in massive quilts. She spent quite some time soaking their hands and feet in a potion that would melt away frostbite and force-fed them tea. She declared that James had cleverly managed to break his wrist and clucked her tongue when he'd asked her if she could heal it in time for quidditch in the spring. She put it in a simple cast, bandaged Lily's bloody knee as well, and warned them that they would ache in the morning.
Between Madam Pomfrey's tirades on proper footwear and common sense and hypothermia, Lily and James told Dumbledore and the members of the Order of the Phoenix -Arthur Weasley, Fabian Prewett, Mariah Bones and Angelica Vance as they introduced themselves- what had happened. McGonagall had also been drawn out from Slughorn's Party, as their head of house and a member of the Order herself, apparently. At first she'd looked pleased for a reason to leave, but her face sank when she saw the two of them in the state they were in. They must really look a whole lot worse than they felt.
Then, the Aurors from the Ministry of Magic came. It wasn't anybody interesting like Mad-Eye Moody that James recognised, just a small team there to collect statements, confiscate the stones, collect the Death Eaters that had been left in the quidditch pitch, and investigate the gates.
"For God's sake, Mr Potter," Madam Pomfrey said, exasperated. "Let go of Miss Evans' hand so that you can drink your tea."
James did, drank his tea so fast that he scorched his mouth, put the cup down and took Lily's hand again. She smiled at him, and he rested his head on her shoulder. The hand she put around his shoulder found its way into his hair.
This was the quiet moment he'd been waiting all night for.
"Now if that's all you need," Dumbledore told the Aurors, "I do believe my students deserve a moment of peace. You can report back to the minister and let him know that the next time I report a threat to the school, I would appreciate if he could be so kind as to dispatch a team before my students got in the line of fire."
The Aurors shuffled out, and Dumbledore similarly dismissed the members of the Order of the Phoenix though he thanked them much more kindly and told them to meet him at headquarters tomorrow morning to debrief, whatever that meant.
Then it was just the three of them in the infirmary.
"I supposed that at this moment, there are two great needs that you need filled," Dumbledore told Lily and James. "Your curiosity. And your stomachs."
He waved his wand and plates of sandwiches and a pitcher of pumpkin juice appeared.
It wasn't that Dumbledore was wrong, but there were too many questions to wait.
"Who was Voldemort?" Lily asked immediately.
Dumbledore sat down on the infirmary bed facing them, laying his wand down on the pillow.
"A good and bold question, Miss Evans," Dumbledore said. "One well phrased. Voldemort was a student at Hogwarts, long ago. To most of his teachers, he was not altogether so different than you two. Unusually talented, charming, well-liked, adventurous, intelligent, promising…"
James and Lily looked to each other. He didn't like that comparison at all. Then he remembered her words: I think we make good and bad choices that make us good and bad people. How could she be this smart?
"However, he went down a very different path than you two will," Dumbledore said. "He made some vastly different choices."
"He was muggleborn," Lily said. "Like me."
"He was a half-blood," Dumbledore said. "Or so I think. The truth is that he was raised by muggles, in a muggle orphanage, without a drop of magic or any idea of who his true ancestors could be."
"You were right," James told Lily. She nodded, but just to acknowledge him. She'd known. She'd known, and she'd believed it, that and every other word she had said tonight.
"Professor," Lily said. "You called him Tom."
"I did. That was how I knew him first," Dumbledore said. "There is power in remembering him as the young man I once knew."
"It's such a common name… How can he hate us so much?" Lily whispered quietly. It broke James' heart a bit. Someone so kind had no chance at understanding someone so vile, so twisted. And here Lily was, trying.
"That, Miss Evans, is a question I'm afraid I don't have an answer to," Dumbledore said.
"I think it would be very scary if you had an answer to that, professor." Lily said.
"The Order of the Phoenix, then," James said. "It's real?"
"It most definitely is," Dumbledore said. "Though I thank you for biting your tongue until the Aurors were gone, Mr Potter. The ministry knows who we are, which is not to say that our relationship is comfortable. And before you ask, we do not allow underaged wizards to join. Or students who have yet to complete their schooling."
"But in June," James said. "When we're done…"
"That will be a different discussion," Dumbledore said. "But a conversation we can have when the time is right."
James changed gears. "What about the stones? Where will they go?"
"For now, the Aurors have them," Dumbledore said. "They will be safe and sound in their evidence room, although I will lobby the Minister that they be placed in the archives of the Department of Mysteries, who specialize in the safekeeping of this kind of ancient magic."
"If Voldemort has access to magic and power this old…" Lily said. She shook her head. "Where does it end, professor?"
"Answering that question would be hasty, Miss Evans," Dumbledore said. "The stones are incredibly powerful but incredibly old magic. Voldemort likes to attach himself to this type of magic, under a pretense of ownership and inheritance that he hopes will allow him to forge a legacy. But do not mistake this bid for a show of how well the Dark Lord understands the ancient magic he chooses to play with. We all hold ancient magic deep inside of us, and the potential to unleash it too. I think that if we have learned anything from this evening, it is that truth can be found even in the simple lyrics of a Christmas song."
Lily chewed her knuckle nervously.
"The fight against Voldemort and against those who think like him is still relatively young," Dumbledore said. "We must worry about it, because if we don't, we will have let Voldemort win by default. Though a war is brewing, it is too early to tell which way its tides will turn. Too much is yet unknown, too much is yet to be done."
Lily and James nodded along to what he was saying.
"But what I do want to impart with you," Dumbledore said. "Is that you have played more than your fair part this evening. You have acted with more wit, cohesion, and maturity than most wizards your age demonstrate. You have shown some incredible uses of magic towards some extraordinary good. You have faced the Dark Lord and survived, which not many witches or wizards can say they have done. And let that be the part that you will play in this war."
"Until June," James said.
"Until June," Dumbledore repeated. "And until June, remain Hogwarts students. Your seventh-year ought to be your best one. Go to your classes, train up the next Head Girl, decimate Slytherin's quidditch team, study for your N.E.W.T.S., treasure your friends, and enjoy the castle before you graduate. Starting with your beds, which I think you will be glad to return to immediately."
They took the long way back to the Gryffindor Common Room, since Dumbledore had given them a note in case Filch caught them. Their skin was still raw and tingly from Miss Pomfrey's potions, and James felt an incredible fatigue weighing down his shoulders.
"I don't know how I'll sleep tonight," Lily said quietly.
"I won't," James said. His thoughts were racing, regardless of how tired the rest of him felt.
"You were serious, when you talked about joining the order weren't you?" Lily said.
"I was," James said.
"Good," Lily said. "Me too."
James squeezed her hand. The rest of their walk back to the Common room was quiet. James figured they didn't have a whole lot to say to each other, after all of that. But when they got to the proper hallway and had nearly reached the Fat Lady, James couldn't move forwards anymore. He stopped, and Lily turned around at the tug on her hand.
"Love?" she asked quietly, reaching up to touch James' face.
"You were right. I didn't understand before tonight. I understood how awful Voldemort was but not how… Not how dangerous it was. Until Dumbledore called it a war, I don't even think that's how I thought of it. Lily, when I said that the things that happened to you happened to me too, I meant it. I love you so much, and I'm terrified that there are people out there who might try to hurt you or take you away," James said. He thought of the simple words she'd used in the infirmary, and the way they carried the weight of the world. "I don't want to be without you."
"Then don't be," Lily said gently. She wrapped her arms around his neck, her touch just as her voice or the evening candlelight in which she was bathed. "Stay close. God knows I'm not going anywhere I can't bring you."
"Promise?" James asked.
"Promise," Lily said.
"Marry me?" James asked.
Lily's eyes popped. James wrapped his arms around her waist.
"I'm asking for real," James said. "Just so you know. I can't pretend I understand the people who would try to pull us apart, but we've met them now, Lily, they're out there. They're starting a war. And the only thing I know how to do about that is to love you more."
"I think that's all we can do," Lily said. She kissed him, her fingers digging into his hair and drawing him to her. The kiss wasn't manic and rushed, it was slow and comforting and James felt like it could last forever. It was their new best kiss.
When they parted, he knelt in front of her and reached into his pocket with his good hand.
"This was supposed to be a Christmas present," James clarified. Lily's eyes were still wide open and bright green, so bright green. "I wanted to give this to you once we got away from the party, so that I could give it to you without my relatives and Sirius fluttering around. But it works for this too."
With his free hand, he flipped open the ring case. He'd found it at the Hogsmeade Christmas Market. All of the Marauders (though arguable only Remus' opinion was relevant in this scenario) had approved of the simple moonstone, framed by two diamonds, resting on a dainty little ring.
"Lily Evans," James said. "Will you marry me?"
In all his wildest dreams and fantasies, he had never imagined asking her these words at a time like this. But he knew he'd ask eventually.
She took a deep breath.
"Once we graduate…"
James' face melted into a smile. See, the thing about his wildest dreams and fantasies was that Lily always said yes there, but real life was a lot different.
She put a finger up like wait.
"If you pass all your N.E.W.T.S. And if your mother likes me when we go home for Christmas. And if you're sure that you'll take a wife who will put a target on your back until this war is won. Then yes, I will absolutely marry you, James Potter."
They spent what felt like hours sitting on the armchair near the fire curled up into each other and alternatively whispering sweet nothings and the meaning of life before Lily yawned. James had to make her go to bed, reminding her that he couldn't carry her upstairs if she fell asleep.
When he kissed her goodnight and she put her hand against his stubbly cheek, he felt the cool metal of the ring push against his cheek. This he could get used to, and he told her so.
"Then you better pass your N.E.W.T.S. and cross your fingers that your mother likes me," Lily said.
He watched her disappear into the girls' dormitory and was still smiling like a goof when Remus returned.
"Hey," James said. "How was the party?"
"It was nice," Remus said, unfastening the top cloak of his dress robes. "I saw that you and Lily wasted no time in disappearing."
"We didn't," James said. "Who won the game?"
"The first one? That Ravenclaw girl, Aurora Sinistra."
"Good for her. How was Violet?"
"Delightful," Remus said. "But I don't think I should see her again. Not at a time like this, when the lycanthropy legislature…"
"Futures are complicated," James agreed. He felt like a hypocrite saying it, his had just gotten a whole lot brighter, but he knew Remus was hurting.
"I'd drink to that, if I'd stolen any liquor from the party like Peter asked. Anyways, how was your night?"
James grinned.
"It was alright."
He had finally calmed Harry down, and sat in the rocking chair with the baby against his chest. He'd pulled a blanket over them to keep Harry warm, and the little bundle of heat on his chest made the moment feel like the coziest thing in the world- especially when James looked outside and saw the snow fluttering down and coating Godric's Hollow.
The others were sprawled on the floor, playing poker with every flavour beans under the Christmas tree, which was dangling in lights and towering over a pile of presents. When Harry had woken up, Sirius had offered to play James' hand claiming it was his godfatherly duty, but James wasn't altogether convinced that this was an act of generosity since he'd eaten most of James' beans.
James figured that he could move onto the floor and reintegrate the game to prevent further damage, but Harry was opposed and woke up. His eyelashes fluttered, giving James flashes of his green eyes, and mewling as he did just before he was about to start straight up crying.
The three Marauders looked up at James in horror, recognizing the tell-tale sign too.
"Shh, shh," James said, rubbing circles into the baby's back.
"Don't cry Harry, it's your first Christmas," Sirius said from the floor.
"Say that again Padfoot, that seemed helpful," James said. He kissed Harry's neck and decided to try a Lily strategy to see if the baby could be tricked. "Do you see what I see… Way up in the sky little lamb… Do you see what I see...?"
Someone laughed from the kitchen. Lily appeared, having popped in from the back door, bundled up in her Winter gear and holding a paper bag of groceries against her hips.
"You're singing it wrong," she said putting the bag down and kicking off her snowy boots.
"You said you'd teach me and forgot, I'm doing my best," James said.
Harry acted up more, nor tricked nor satisfied, and Lily laughed again. She shrugged off her coat as she came to sit on the arm of his chair. She ran her fingertips through Harry's hair.
"Do you see what I see...?" she started again. "The child, the child, Sleeping in the night, He will bring us goodness and light…"
"He will bring us goodness and light," James echoed.