Note: Greetings to my fanfic Fans and lovers. Gomen (Bows) for my two year absence, I know I left a story incomplete (For what I'm worth..and fyi its being redone.) and left my fans so suddenly..without notice and I do sincerely apologies. But I am back now! And im here to bring you a love story unlike any you have ever experienced with my new fanfic: something worth feeling for. There will be Love, hate, angst, friendship, and of course my favorite..Some much needed and deserved Lemony Goodness for my Fans! :-) Sooo..Prepare to Laugh, cry, Blush, and don't forget a tissue for your tears and your nose bleeds. Reviews are Always welcomed :-) Arigato for Reading and waiting. (Bows).

Chapter One: Not where my heart Is

-Something Worth Feeling For-

You would think I'd be nostalgic watching the familiar scenery pass me by outside of the train window, The endless trees giving away quickly to tall sky scrapers as we got closer and closer to my destination. I should be nostalgic right? I am going home, but truth is all I feel is an empty feeling in the pit of my stomach. I grow light headed even thinking the word Home and what it means for me now. If home is really where the heart is, I left mine back in Nagoya at my family shrine, with my mother.

I spent the first 7 years of my life in a business and entertainment district called Shinjuku. My father Hiro Sato and his friend, started their own trade business straight out of University..and it was in the marketing stage when I was born, so I didn't see to much of him growing up..But when I did all I could remember where his perfectly pressed suits and the late night/early morning kisses to my forehead when he finally had time off work. Oh, and the tears on my mother's cheeks every night she lay me beside her on my father's side of the futon..I remember those too. My mother was a University graduate as well. Tokyo U to be precise..where her and my father met, she had majored in Art and Theater and wanted nothing more than to become an actress, but put her dreams to the side to take care of me and support my father in his business..I can recall that being the cause of many arguments between my parents.

Then one day the arguments stopped, My dad stopped coming home almost completely, and I never seen another tear fall from my mom's eyes again as she lay me across from her on their futon, only a smile and a promise: Soon Ai, we will have a different life..the life I've always wanted for us.

She kept her promise. A few months after my 7th birthday I was standing on the same platform I'll be standing on soon, catching the same train I'm on now..out of Shinjuku, just me, my mom, and our luggage, and shortly after.. that house and my father became just a distant memory. I never planned on being in this place again, not now, 10yrs later..Not Ever. But here I am, this time alone. I feel a tear begin to form at the corner of my eye as I think about my mother, looking beside me where my back pack sits in the place she should be right now..It feels so surreal that I wont be wishing her luck anymore for the countless auditions she attended or watching her practice her lines when she finally got a part, Instead ill be lighting candles at our family shrine for her when I take a trip back to my Grand Parents in the summer, Now.. this place will be home again, and me and my mother's time together..will be the distant memory.

"This Stop, Shinjuku!" I hear announced over the intercom, pulling me from my thoughts as the train slows and passengers moved quickly to the exit.. "here we go" I whisper to myself with a deep breath..pulling my back pack on my shoulder, as I join the crowd, twiddling my fingers in nervousness of what this new life would have to offer. I move slowly across the platform..quite the opposite of the people rushing by me..bumping my shoulders every couple of steps because of my turtle like pace, I am not as eager as them to get where I'm going. As I continue to drag my feet, I take in the scenery. The tall sky scrapers this district is known for blots out most of the sun from this angle, the tiny rays that peak through the cracks of metal and glass give off a soft orange hue, making it seem more early evening then mid-day. Crowds of men and woman in business attire click clack down the pavement..either heads down immersed in cell phones or chattering quickly away..blue tooth devices stuck to their ears..typical for a weekday in the city. Can't really remember much of this place from my childhood as I look around.. but it was lively. Plenty of People, Entertainment, and restaurants nearby as well.. doesn't seem much of a difference from Osu shopping district where my grand parents reside, though the crowds were more tourists there than residents..it still gives me a feeling of comfort in the similarity. I'm so immersed in my surroundings, I don't hear Hiro call out to me from the stairs at the end of the platform.

"Ai" he calls me in his deep voice, catching my attention as he waves me toward him, the empty feeling in my stomach intesifiying with every step. If the area we are in wasn't so busy you could hear a pin drop..I think as I finally inch my way in front of him and we stand staring at each other for what seems like an eternity..He looks like the pictures my mother showed me when they were in college, except older..with a mustache, but the bags resting underneath his eyes makes him look aged way beyond his years and far to worn out. I can't help but feel Uneasy standing in front of a man I am suppose to call father.. and knowing if i wasn't for the photographs during mom's moments down memory lane, all I would recognize was his perfectly pressed suit. I give Hiro credit though, he did take care of all me and mom's finances..though she left, he refused to divorce her so I guess she was still his responsibility as well.. and he did at the least send me a card for every birthday, Christmas, and New year..Even talked to me a couple of times on the phone a year when he would answer, Mom always said he was just busy when he didnt, giving me one of her assuring smiles and I would smile back..pretending I was okay with it until it got to a point where I really was okay with it because I just didn't care anymore.

"Welcome home" Hiro spoke again with a slight bow of the head and I return the gesture, mustering up as much of a smile as I possibly can. "Arigato" I speak secretly fighting back the light headed feeling from that Home word again. "Let me take your bag" he adds giving it a tug before he removed it, throwing it over his own shoulder, he starts down the steps to the street where a black town car sits waiting. "Plantine Nishi-Shinjuku Please" Hiro directs the driver as we both slip into the back seat in silence and distance, the only thing sitting in the wide space between us is awkwardness. We both clear our throats in what seems to be unison and I quickly turn my eyes to the scenery outside.. I looked up the information about the apartment building where Hiro lives on my train ride and it said it was only 6 minutes away from Shinjuku Station. Thank God. This reunion is making me very uncomfortable, I just want to get there and go to my new room, lay on my new bed, and think about my old happy life."Ai" he speaks my name again after he clears his throat for what seemed like the hundredth time during the ride, "Hai?" I answer with a sigh wishing we had the mutual thought of not wanting to talk at all, "I will get you settled in to the apartment first but I have to leave after, I am traveling to the United States on Business..Gomenasai".. "its fine, I understand." i add watching him twiddle his fingers just as I did earlier, was he nervous about my reaction? Mom always said physically I took after her but emotionally i reminded her so much of Hiro, with his same gestures.. expressing my moods so easily on my face and in my body language even when I tried not to, I really didn't want to believe it then but I could see it for myself now. He had no reason to be nervous of my reaction though, I'm actually relieved he is going away so I wont have to deal with the graceless energy between us..and besides, it's not like I'm not use to him being gone by now anyway.

We finally pull up in front of the high rise apartment building and I quickly make my way out the car..The sooner we get inside and he shows me around the sooner he will leave, I'm just trying to make this quick. As Hiro pulls my bag out of the trunk I eye the place.. when I was looking up the distance from the train to the apartment a picture popped up of the newly renovated building, far from the little glimpses of it I remember as a child. The new glass front and entrance adds a modern feel to the dark blue colored glass top that seemed to climb miles into the sky, they must have added 20 more floors."Different from your childhood huh? Ai.." Hiro speaks, jogging lightly up to meet my quickened walk.. placing his hand on my back as if he is guiding me forward, "Everything is new and modern..there is a gym and a pool attached to the common place on the first floor and all the the apartments including ours have been redone…I hope you will like it here." he speaks as if he is trying to sell me the apartment or like he memorized the brochure, A smile breaks through my plain facade at his attempt to acquire my interest and he smiles back as he notices..a hint of hope gracing his features.

"Here we are." Hiro spoke as we remove our shoes and step lightly onto the dark cherry wood floor, it was much bigger than I could remember..though the memories were sparse, it doesn't seem familiar at all. The living room that we walk into first is a very wide open space..with beautiful high ceilings and a wall to wall window that looks over what seemed to be all of Shinjuku..the furniture is simple black leather couches facing a huge flat screen T.v. Mounted to the nearest wall, the glass coffee table in between is adorned with small white candles atop a black glass plate shaped candle holder, and the matching black glass vase centerpiece is full of my mother's favorite flower, Lilles. Beautiful art pieces of landscapes and flowers add color to the black and white themed livingroom and kitchen, and have finally given me the calming sense of familiarity. "These were moms right?" I question hiro, who is more than eager to start a conversation with me, "Hai." he smiles as I reach out and run my finger along the antique frame, "Your mom always loved art, she said it was like seeing through someone else's eyes.. a glimpse into how they viewed the world." I smile lightly to myself..sounds like something she would say. "she always wanted to paint herself but she wasn't very good.." he snickers lightly " but your Obaachan tells me you happen to be an amazing artist…" "I don't know about amazing..I do enjoy painting landscapes from time to time..but my passion is sketching..I love to sketch portraits.. "that's a true talent" he responds with an even bigger smile on his face at my confession and suddenly I feel that light headed feeling all over again..what is he doing? Using My mother's paintings and my Obassan's information to try and bond with me? I'm getting to comfortable talking to hiro like were friends, or like he really was a father to me. The quicker the better..I remind myself.

"So where's my room?" I change the subject quickly turning away from him, I do not want him to think any amount of conversation would change the fact that he was never there and we were more strangers than anything else. He clears his throat and his smile turns back into the same dull look he wore during our uncomfortable cab ride, "This way." I bow slightly to make up for my slight rudeness.. but to be honest, I'm glad he got the hint.

My room is at the very back of the hall and leads out unto a small balcony overlooking a nearby park, "I thought you might like the balcony." Hiro plainly adds standing in the doorway as I step in to look around. My futon is covered in maroon colored silk, the big fluffy maroon and gold colored pillows flattering the Gold rimmed double doors that lead out to the balcony..the side table next to my bed is home to my own phone and its own vase that almost spills over with Lille's , it is simple yet beautiful. I try to keep my solemn composure though I am impressed, but I can't contain myself when I see the desk in the corner covered in new art supplies, a brand new sketch book, and right beside it a brand new easel. "Hiro sees the smile begin to creep up on my face..and uses it to start another conversation. "Once Obaachan told me about your love for art I went out and brought you some new things..I know you couldn't carry much on the train so, she told me your clothing and shoe size as well." I turn back toward him as he quickly steps through the doorway and over to a walk in closet I hadn't noticed on the other side of the room. He pushes the sliding door back with a sense of merriment and presents a whole new wardrobe to me.."My secretary has a teenage daughter, she helped me to pick out the latest fashion for you, and the more girly items you need are in these drawers here..but if you need anything else I left an extra black card with you please feel free to get wha.." "I'm fine!"Does he think he can buy me?! I think to myself before sitting at the edge of my futon trying to avoid Hiro's look of surprise at my sudden and interrupting outburst.I can't hold it in any longer, all this seems a bit much for a complete stranger to offer..this huge apartment, all the new clothes, shoes, new art supplies.. As if it would bring us closer..like it would some how lessen the feeling of emptiness I feel for having to be here at all! I want to be angry, I want to lash out for 10years of just stuff he brought or money he gave to my mother instead of being there himself! But I don't want him to think I care enough! I don't care..Really..

"Gomenasai." I whisper after a few moments of grueling silence, "It's just so much to take in at one time." I meet his eyes briefly for a moment before both our orbs fall back down to the floor.."Arigato..For everything, but don't worry Hiro, I will be fine.""Hai." he says closing the closet door behind him as he heads out of the room, but before he leaves he turns to me once more, clearing his throat he speaks.. "All the information you need is in a folder on your desk, I took the liberty of signing you into a technical school not too far from here that has a graphic design class.. I thought you'd prefer that more then going late into a new high school.. you start the day after tomorrow…my emergency contacts are in there as well and an extra black card for any expenses..plenty food in the fridge but if there is nothing you like, the market is up the street..I'll be back in a week, please feel free to call me if you want…Ja ne.

I wait until I hear the click of the automatic lock from the door closing before I breathe a deep sigh of relief and throw myself back lazily onto my futon.."well..that was fun." I sarcastically remark, trying not to dwell on feeling to bad for Hiro even though I already do. Give him a chance.. I hear Mom's voice in my head speak those same words she use to say, when he would call as I got older and I would refuse the phone. I sigh again rolling my eyes with a smile at the thought of her..I will try for you mom.

RIIIIIIIIIIING! RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING! I jump up at the sound of my cell phone ringing in the front pocket of my book bag and rush to it, it was Obaasan, most likely checking up on me..but to be honest I'm really not in the mood to talk, did more than enough of that with Hiro, plus it was her idea after 3months of living with her and my Sofu to move here with him. She thought my mother would want me to have a better relationship with Hiro, and as much as I didn't want to admit it, I know for sure she was right..but still it didn't take away my feelings of slight betrayal. "I'll call you back later Obaasan." I speak allowed as if she could hear me before i throw my cell unto my futon. I look at the clock on my wall and it reads 6pm..I was out 4 hours, wow… I didn't even feel myself go to sleep but I guess my body needed to Recoop from the mental stress of this whole ordeal. I sweep my raven colored tresses from my face and wipe the sleep from my eyes as the alluring light from the setting sun spilling into my balcony doors, catches my interest.

"Breathtaking" I remark as I pull the golden handles open, the gush of wind blowing back my thick, long curly tresses and filling my nose with the scent of spring flowers. The sky is absolutely gorgeous, the clear blueness of the day giving away to the golden and reddish orange backdrop right before twilight..the city below beginning to illuminate in preparation leaves a perfect pattern of scattered lights almost equivalent to the look of stars. My right hand begins to itch with anticipation, and my mind becomes cleared from my earlier troubles. I go into the mode mom perfectly described as Art Famine, when I was so passionate about something that I felt hungry for it.. until I could make it mine forever by sketching it to perfection in my sketch book or painting it with precision on an empty canvas. I remember the first time i felt Art famine like it was yesterday.

Me and mom at the spring festival in Nagoya watching the cherry blossom branches dance in the season's cool breeze as if they were slowly swaying to a song..the enchanting flowers falling loose from there trees and landing among the crowd so perfectly as if they had posed for the flicking cameras around them.. and a stillness came over me as i took in the sight like i had not a care in the world, every worry or sadness had dissipated and made all the room in my mind i would ever need for those flowers.. and then an emptiness..a void suddenly appearing in my heart, a longing in me for what lay in front of me..this dream like view i felt the need to hold onto forever. I had only started taking drawing seriously a couple of months before when my teacher made a big deal about an art project i had and how beautiful it had turned out, mom of course..an art lover.. had rushed out to buy me supplies, and asked me constantly to draw things for her.. Practice makes perfect. She would say as i huffed over her request to draw another flower or another sky, her two favorites. But she was right i had gotten better than i or she would have imagined and at that point art became not only a calling but a passion. I didn't know until that day at the spring festival that there was something far more enchanting then those flowers i was destined to capture. I turned my head to my mother who was sitting silently next to me on a bench to express this sudden new feeling that washed over me in the sights, but as i opened my mouth all that left was a small gasp. My Okaasan, dressed in a traditional pink and red kimono almost disappeared into the clutter of trees but her expression, her expression as she sat un moving hands folded delicately in her lap..was far more alluring than those cheery blossoms could ever be..the awe she felt matched mine to perfection but i could see more in her eyes not something a simple as joy..or happiness.. something Deeper.. Longing. Her face told her most powerful desire in that moment and it was so clear to me then, she wasn't looking at the cherry blossoms, she was looking at the admiration of the people for something so exquisite and she wanted nothing more at that point in time to become that scene. To pose as others admired and snapped pictures, to perform on a stage in front of thousands who cherished her skill and put on a show people would remember for the rest of there lives..just like those flowers. I drew my mother that day instead..i still drew landscapes and plants for her occasionally but nothing engrossed me more than drawing portraits of people in moments like hers..moments others would never look twice at and only i could capture the truth in.

But today mom, today this art famine is for you.. I think to myself as nothing but the thought of her face filled with joy watching this sight enters my mind. I rush back into my room and quickly grab the empty sketch pad off of my new desk along with a graphite pencil to quickly draw this mesmerizing scene for memory. I run back onto the balcony trying to make haste before the sky could make any changes, but before I can touch pen to pad I am interrupted by a thick smell of smoke suddenly filling my nose and strands of silver streaks in my peripheral vision. I turn abruptly to my right to confront the cause of my unexpected delay and without warning my breath catches in my throat, my heart begins to beat a mile a minute, and I'm left speechless..at the sight of the new thing in front of me right now.

The silver streaks are instead long strands of silk like hair blowing almost wildly in the evening wind..the smell of smoke comes from the cigarette snug between perfect pink lips..burning brightly at the tip as it's inhaled and then exhaled gently, through a flawlessly shaped nose..the smoke rising and dancing through exceptionally long lashes at the tips of faultlessly closed eye lids until it spreads through the air and draws my attention to this Refined thing I cannot take my eyes off. Here he was standing on the balcony across from mine, eyes closed..immersed in his cigarette..and I cannot understand why my mind..Only moments ago could only think of drawing the beautiful sky for my Okaasan and now all I can envision is him. This stranger, Simply indulged in his effortless task, no memorizing emotion present but I have never seen Anything as Appealing to my Artist Famine as he is right now. Draw him, I tell myself and before I can think twice my hand moves quickly across the empty page, glancing back and forth swiftly from him who has no knowledge of me to the pad where he is all that matters.. trying to capture every perfect line that made up his beauteous and Bewitching face.

Moments later my portrait is almost complete, but as I add the finishing lines that represent his far reaching lashes, and look up once more for clarity, his orbs are now open and he stares at me with Golden blank eyes. I feel blush creep up on my cheeks as his eyes meet mine and I bow deeply trying to hide it, "Gomenasai" I speak, more than embarrassed at being caught so consumed in my sketch of him. I keep my head bowed just waiting for him to make fun of me, or be angry I was watching him, even more, drawing him..in the least I'm going to have to explain myself right?..I was waiting for the question: what are you doing? But after a few moments pass, Nothing..Not one word. I bring my head up slowly to meet his orbs again and he still is standing there staring at me, still no emotion on his face whatsoever…No anger..No curiosity..No Nothing, just staring..like he can see through me..like I wasn't even there. "Oyasumi Nasai" I bid to him as I quickly open the doors back into my room and rush through in embarrassment and confusion.

I plop back down unto my futon tracing the sketch of him with my finger as I replay my first sight of this stranger. I have never seen someone so intriguing in my whole life and my heart still beats a mile a minute at the captured memory of him on my paper..But his eyes..though more stunning then the golden colored sky I first was inspired to draw they had no depth..no emotion..no nothing..just Emptiness..I have never seen that before either. Maybe I just caught him at a bad time, I conclude closing my sketch book, I place it to the side of me.

It was funny though..i fed my artist famine by drawing his portrait and yet the feeling still plagued me, Even funnier.. that emptiness i felt in the pit of my stomach all day

Is Gone.

End Note: Soooo.. :-) what do you guys think? Now let me say this now before someone else does lol my grammar I must admit is terrible :-( but not hard to read, and a few people on my other fan fics said my paragraphs weren't spaced out enough so I put plenty spaces this time..hopefully enough for your reading pleasure….But enough with the technical..Unlike our Silver haired, golden eyed stranger..lol are you Curious? I thought the best thing to do for this 1st chapter was right it in the present tense from my main characters point of view..ya know. give you a feel of what type of person she is and who better to tell e life story like the character themselves.. If your satisfied and want to see how it all unfolds if, then I did my job with this first chapter by pulling you in to what I promise is going to be a great inuyasha fan fic..I am very excited for this one and with this first chapter I hope you are to. As I said before Reviews are more than welcomed and Arigato for reading, until we meet again Fan Fic Fans. Ja Ne. (Bows).

italics are for thoughts. "Quotations"are for character speech and those (dot dot dots) In between words are my way of short pauses as its read. I know I know, its not a real thing in grammar BUT it works for me! Lol :-p.