Regret + Pain
Quatre,
You've made me so happy these past 3 years, & I thought it was a blessing to finally carry your baby. I love you & always will, but I can't share you. You made it obvious you wanted us both, but I can't accept that. I'm sorry you've wasted so much time with me, but I'm glad you did. I would have waited till Yahiko was born, but I don't want him to wonder what I was like, or have her take care of him. We will be waiting for you when your time comes. Whether you accept us or not is your choice. Good bye, my love.
Always & forever yours,
Sakura
I stared at the note, tears falling from my eyes. My heart felt if it was being carved out of my chest with a dull spoon. My lungs would not expand, making it near impossible to breath. I couldn't believe it. "It was because of me." I choked out. "It's all my fault." Speaking these words brought me to finally understand what had happened. My legs couldn't hold me; I fell to my knees & cried. I felt a hand fall lightly on my shoulder & I just knew it was her. I whipped around, hoping to catch a glimpse of her, but saw nothing. I sat there, staring into space, trying to focus my eyes on her, failing miserably. I felt her presence slowly fade, & knew she was leaving me.
"Sakura, please don't leave me. I didn't want her. I only wanted you." I said into the darkness, hoping she would hear me. "I was trying to help her, not be with her. You were the only one for me. I never wanted to hurt you."
I stayed there, for what seemed like forever, crying. The door swung open, & the laughs that filled the air turned into a shriek & gasp.
"Oh my god!" Releana gasped, tears stinging her eyes. "Quatre, what happened?" She asked staring at the dead body.
Heero looked at the body, then Quatre, & then back again. I just stared at them, trying to control my seemingly never ending tears. Heero walked over & took the note & read. His eyes were wide for a few seconds & he looked at me.
"You cheated on her?" He finally asked his voice hoarse & slow, as if trying to comprehend what exactly happened.
I shook my head violently. "No!" I said my voice breaking. "I would never. I loved her." I sobbed. Releana came to me, held me, & started to cry.
"Releana." Heero called. "Bring Quatre to Trowa's house." He ordered. "I'll be there in a couple of hours." Releana nodded & brought me to her car.
We sat there for a couple of minutes. "Why did she think you were cheating on her?" She asked quietly.
I sat there staring into space, not sure if I should tell her that Sakura thought she was the other woman.
"Well?" She asked impatiently.
I sighed deeply. "She thought that I was seeing you."
She gasped. "What? Why would she think that?"
I kept my eyes forward. "Because I was with you so much."
"But it was totally innocent. You were just helping me." She argued.
"True…But we never told her. She asked about you & I so many times, but I would always change the subject."
"Why didn't you tell her?"
I paused, not wanting to remind her. "You told me not to tell anyone, especially her." I answered quietly. She was quiet as she started the car & left.
(At Heero's house) (Quatre's P.O.V.)
I sat in the bathroom, feeling my heart was being washed down the drain along with the water falling from the small metal attached to the wall. I step in the tile tub & let the water wash over me, like hot knives on a cold winters day. It seared my skin. Any normal person would have fainted just from the steam. I felt light headed, but that had started when he saw his wife's body, lying naked in the tub, not moving, & not breathing. There was a slight bulge of her stomach, as if to prove their baby was with her. I started to shake & my body suddenly too heavy for my legs to support. I collapsed, feeling helpless. 'What do I have to live for?' I asked my self. 'I have nothing any more.' Tears stung my eyes, then I saw it. The razor was the same type my wife used on herself. I grabbed it. The cool metal felt good in my hand.
"I have to tell you face to face that I love you, Sakura, & I would never hurt you." I whispered aloud. I brought the razor to his wrist. I felt my heart beat faster, but did not hesitate. I thought the pain would be all I would focus on, but instead I thought of my life with her. My insides started to burn. I felt relieved. I felt that I could rest now; I was going to see her again. The few hours she was away from me was far too long. I finally felt at ease. "I'll see you soon, Sakura." I whispered & lost my soul to something much greater. I don't know what will happen to us, but I don't care. I don't care about the future or anything. All I care about is us & now. & now we'll be together. Just wait for me my love. Tell our son that his father is coming, cause I am. I'm going back into the arms in which I belong.
The End