"Field Of Innocence"

Author's Notes: Well, this is part one of what will become a 4 part fic. I'm doing them as songfics because well, that's what I do. I don't own this song, or these people, but I do own this story, so nyah! And I'm sorry if you really LOVE Kaoru, SO DO I! But in order for this story to work, torture was necessary. Read it. You'll love it. I promise.

Rating: woo-boy. Um. Pg-13? Right now, its mostly just torture. There is mention of rape. But it's just the word. Rape. Just like that. Um. It might get more graphic later. But I don't know. This is mostly rated for violence.

Synopsis: This is war. Kaoru's been taken prisoner by the enemy and after the head of the prison finds out that she has connections to the Battousai, she's brainwashed—that can't be good, right? Keep reading to see how things turn out!

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I still remember the world
From the eyes of a child
Slowly those feelings
Were clouded by what I know now

"Prisoner 73743. Name: Kamiya Kaoru. Entry Date: October Seventeen." The headmaster's voice bellowed and Kaoru was thrown to the floor in the middle of the room—right in front of him. "Kamiya Kaoru." His voice turned from the file he held to the girl in front of him. "Welcome to The Cat House." His yellow teeth smiled at her, and Kaoru tried not to look at him, " I do hope you enjoy your stay!" The man laughed, and motioned for her to be taken to her cell.

3 weeks later

"This is war Miss Kaoru." One of the girls whispered through the walls. Kaoru had her tin-drinking cup pressed to said wall firmly, to amplify the girl's voice. She sat this way most the day—when she wasn't pulled from her room for questioning and subsequent torture. "You're lucky they haven't found anyone you love yet—they love to break you of your family ties." The girl, who Kaoru had come to know only as 'Lin' whispered. Kaoru gasped. Surely, then, if the guards or the headmaster found out that she had relations with the Battousai—she shook her head to try not to even think of it.

Muttering an acknowledgement, she set her cup on the ground and leaned back against the grimy wall opposite of the door. Just when her head hit the cold damp stone, her door opened. "Kamiya. The headmaster would see you." The guard spoke, but the sword in his hand made the conference a necessity and not an option.

"Kamiya Kaoru. Tell me. Does the name Himura ring a bell with you?" the headmaster wasted no time with her. And from her reaction, he judged that she knew the man. "Then you also know of his…darker side, no?" the headmaster grinned.

"No, I—" But the guard backhanded her.

"The Battousai has become a wanted man…a desired man in this war. If he will not fight with us he must be broken, Kamiya." The guard's gaze leveled with her. "Is there something going on between the two of you? Are you lovers? Answer me!" he screamed.

"No! Kenshin would nev—" But again she was slapped across the face, this time, she slid across the floor.

"But you are important to him." The headmaster deduced, his eyes glistening. Turning to his guards, he grinned a grin Kaoru had never seen before; it was a grin she never wanted to see again, either. "Break her."


Where has my heart gone
An uneven trade for the real world
I want to go back to
Believing in everything and knowing nothing at all

Kaoru's face was broken. Her eyes had swollen shut. She knew she was alive only because it hurt every time she breathed. She lay in the dark, on her cot with no pillow. She hadn't eaten in days. She thought back over the past several days, over what they had done to her. Telling her lies about the man she had fallen in love with. Showed her pictures—ancient pictures of him as the Battousai. Then the beatings started. The asked her a question, and when she gave them an answer they didn't like, she was kicked, punched, whipped, finally they strung her up by her wrists from the ceiling, and left for hours. Only for the process to start again the next day.

Kaoru did not know what to think. Perhaps the guards were right; perhaps he wasn't coming for her. Perhaps he had forgotten—'but no! What about that time! With Tomoe's brother! Kenshin nearly died out of grief for me!' Kaoru grimaced and tears slipped through the cracks in her bulging eyes. She had to believe Kenshin would come for her. She had to.

I still remember the sun
Always warm on my back
Somehow it seems colder now

A month later

The doors opened and the prisoners were allowed out into the small stone yard adjacent to the group of cells. It was early December but none of the snow that had been expected from the girls had fallen.

Kaoru didn't leave her room. The cold air wafted in, and hit her in the face. Shutting her eyes, she turned to look away from the light. Her eyes had dulled. Her stare had hollowed. She spoke only in short, ambiguous sentences. And she spoke only when spoken to. Lin, tentatively approached her cell door, and when the shadow of the girl covered her doorway, Kaoru looked up. "Go away." She mumbled.

"Miss Kaoru?" Lin questioned, "You stopped talking to me a month ago. I thought you'd been sent home, until I heard the guards talking, what have they done to you?" Lin asked, coming to kneel before her fellow inmate.

"Things you can't imagine, Lin." Kaoru gritted her teeth. There were no more tears to cry, there was only emptiness, and anger. She turned back toward her friend.

Where has my heart gone
Trapped in the eyes of a stranger
I want to go back to
Believing in everything

Lin hesitated to touch her friend. And finally laid a hand on a scar that rested at the base of Kaoru's neck. "Kaoru, you look terrible. Is it over? Are they done with you? Why did they do this to you?" Lin knew she was putting herself in danger by asking these questions, but she had to know what had happened to such a wonderful person as Kamiya Kaoru.

"They are never done." Kaoru grumbled. "They beat and rape and torture until there's nothing left, and then they do it just because it pleases them." She still wasn't looking at the other girl.

Lin gasped, unbelieving. Why hadn't any of the other girls experienced this same treatment? What was it about Kaoru that made the men treat her this way?

"It isn't they're fault." Kaoru said. Finally looking her friend in the eyes. The hollow stare sent Lin back a few feet. "It was him. He betrayed me." She spat. "He stole my innocence and he sent me here to get rid of me."

Lin was flabbergasted, "Who!" she asked, wondering what Kaoru was talking about. But she could not wait for an answer. An alarm sounded, and she was thrust back into her own cell.

Kaoru's eyes watched the door as it slammed shut and a tear fell, "The Battousai." She whispered.

Where has my heart gone
An uneven trade for the real world
I want to go back to
Believing in everything
Away

"Prisoner 73743. Name: Kamiya Kaoru. Entry Date: October Seventeen. You are hereby issued a formal release. Dated March Three." The headmaster read his file almost gleefully. As he inspected the woman standing before him, he had to admire his handiwork. Never before had he broken—brainwashed someone quite so thoroughly. "Kamiya. You know what you have been released to do."

"Yes." She spoke without moving.

"You will kill the Battousai before he finds this place, before he reaches enemy lines." The headmaster continued. "He is a powerful weapon, Kamiya. You are our only hope. You know what he did to you. This is your revenge. This is your chance to repay him for what he put you through."

Kaoru's face darkened. Her eyes formed small slits, "I will kill the Battousai because he wronged me. Because he raped me and left me for dead. I am indebted to you for taking me in and saving my life. This is my task."

"Excellent. You are free to go." The headmaster said, handing her her things, and showing her the door.


Where has my heart gone
Trapped in the eyes of a stranger
I want to go back to
Believing in everything

Kaoru felt strange walking down roads she'd seen before. Somehow the breeze that was blowing, it just wasn't the same. She was numb to it all. When she approached her old home, all was quiet. The large wooden gate was closed, but dawn had not approached, she imagined the people in the house, if they were still there, were still asleep. She wanted to be alone anyway.

Touching the wood on the gate she felt sick to her stomach. Something was wrong. What was she going to do again? She felt slimy too, like someone had grabbed the back of her neck and sent chills down her spine. She shook the feeling away and pushed open the gate.

Heading toward the dojo, she looked up at the house for a while. There was love in that house—but she swore she never felt any of it. She'd never been loved, had she? Only hurt… that's right. By him.

Turning sharply, she headed for her father's practice room. She found there, besides empty space, his collection of antique swords. She picked them up, one by one, testing their weight and durability.

"This is heavier than what I'm working with, isn't it?" she muttered to herself, and then looked across the room to the stand of wooden swords she and Yahiko used to practice with. "I…I can't…"

She tried to uncloud her brain—but the fog was just too thick for her to see clearly.

I still remember.

Soo…

Part 1 is finished! Ready for part 2? Yeah I know, this kinda sucks, but it had to be bad before it could get better, right! Hah. Wait and see!