"What? You're defending the little geek too?"
"Get a life, you losers!" Lori snapped back. "Come on, Merton." She reached out to the teen goth, who looked up at her gratefully and took her offered hand.
"What do you people see in him? First Dawkins, now you! You know, Dingle's not doing much in the way of boosting your popularity either, little lady. People are starting to wonder about you," Tim Eckertt warned Lori who turned on him, eyes blazing.
"Maybe someday it'll get through your thick skulls that I don't give a damn what people think about me! I'm tired of being part of this whole shitbag you call high-school society! Especially if it has 'guidelines' about who I can and can't be friends with."
Tim flustered, at a loss for words. He looked to Travis who shook his head woefully. "Another one bites the dust. Nice goin', Dingle. Why don't you turn the rest of the high school body into freaks?"
"Suck it!" Lori yelled. Merton's eyes grew wide. TnT glared at her. Merton looked from her to them and then back to Lori. He noticed with alarm that she was shaking.
"Come on. Let's go . . ." Merton reached out cautiously to put an arm around Lori's shoulders and guided her towards the door.
"Oh what's this, too afraid to back it up? Are you gonna cry?"
Lori trembled with anger and Merton's hold on her tightened a little. "Just keep walking . . . please, ignore them."
Silently, she went with him without further resistance. TnT's catcalls faded as the door slammed behind them. Lori broke away from Merton and began to walk fast toward the parking lot. Merton had to hobble to keep up with her thanks to the pain in his side and back from TnT's roughhousing.
"Hey, wait up . . ."
She stopped and allowed him to catch up. "I'm sorry. I didn't know you were going to have trouble walking." She kept her head down, not looking at him. Merton wondered if she was crying, but he knew better than to ask.
"My hearse is this way. If you want a ride . . . Lori, if . . . look, I'm sorry."
"What for? Merton, this isn't your fault. I'm mad at them, okay?"
"But it's because of me that ---"
"Shhh." Lori reached up and placed her finger on Merton's lips. "Just talk to me. I want to know . . . how you do it."
"How I do what?"
"How you live every day like this. Dodging insults and blows . . . feeling that nobody cares for you . . . having to deal with a sister like Becky . . . how do you stand it?"
"I . . . I have you guys."
"I mean, before that. What was it like before you knew us? I wouldn't have been able to make it, Merton. So tell me . . . how?"
"I don't know. It was hard, sometimes. That's why I hid from the world. Buried myself in books . . . the occult. Prayed for vengeance from pagan gods. Performed hexes," Merton was half-joking, but he saw no trace of a smile on Lori's lips. With a pang, he suddenly knew what was wrong.
"If you're worried about ending up as an outcast like me . . . don't. You're bright and funny and you know how to talk to people. You'll never be like me. I promise."
Lori gasped. How could he think that? Without quite knowing why, she turned to Merton and put her arms around his body, drawing him close. She felt him shudder with apprehension, but she continued to hold him. "Merton, I don't care about all this popularity crap! I'm sorry. I never meant to make you think--"
"It's okay."
"No, it isn't."
"Lori . . ." Merton trailed off. He didn't know what to think or do. He wanted to hold her, but he worried that if he did, she'd break away. On the other hand, maybe she did want him to hold her and if he didn't, she would think that she'd offended him somehow. His heart was in his throat and he could hear the blood pounding in his ears.
Lori could hear his breathing become shaky and she knew she was confusing him, but she couldn't let go. She wanted to shield him like this forever . . . from the pain and the hatred. While he was still warm . . . and before he turned cold from it all.
Lori wasn't the 'mothering' type. She had never considered herself as a woman who nurtured or had a desire to heal before. In fact, she had always been a tomboy . . . hating to dress up and sucker-punching any boy that called her a 'sissy girl'. She had taken up karate and kick-boxing at the age of ten and had pursued a life-long career of 'butt-kicking' or so it seemed, never knowing until now that something had been missing in her life. The ability to love unselfishly . . . not for the thrill or the sexual pleasure . . . but for the love that made one's heart pound uncontrollably and touched someone so deeply that they would be willing to do anything to protect their loved one.
Every boy that Lori had ever met had always been just as tough as she was. She had 'fallen' in love, but she had not stayed; mainly because she felt she had nothing to offer a boy who could fight for himself. And in turn, boys had become turned off by the same reason. Lori could take care of herself. She didn't need a man in her life. She wanted one . . . but didn't need one. And so feeling useless, they had left her.
Merton was different. For a moment, she had seen something pure and true in his gray-blue eyes. She had been so used to his goofy, sometimes annoying slapstick behavior that she had failed to see anything genuine beneath the surface. She had been fooled into thinking he was happy; that he had no troubles and was more of a whiner than anything else. But he did need her, or at least someone to heal and protect him. And Merton had what she lacked . . . inner strength to survive pain and sorrow.
But Tommy . . . he needed her too. She couldn't just dump him. For heaven's sake, what was she thinking of dumping him for? It wasn't like she was in love with Merton or anything. It was just . . . .
Lori let her arms drop and she felt Merton stumble against her at the unexpected loss of support. She grabbed his shoulders to steady him and saw him wince in pain.
"Ow ow ow, easy!"
There was that whiny tone again, but Lori didn't let herself get annoyed. "Let's take you home, 'kay Merton?" she asked gently. Whimpering, he nodded and walked beside her out to the parking lot.
Lori got in the passenger seat and waited for Merton to limp around to the drivers side of the car and get in. What had happened? Was she in love with Merton? Or was she still in love with Tommy? Lori almost cursed her fickle heart aloud, but she knew it would come out in some sort of weird prose that only Merton could appreciate. She smirked lightly. Maybe she and the goth did have a lot in common after all.
Merton started the car and in a comfortable silence, they drove towards his house. Lori leaned her head against the window, listening to the outside world whooshing past them and trying to piece together the puzzle that was her heart.