FROM WHERE I AM

Disclaimer: The characters contained herein belong to Clamp. The idea for the story came from the song by the same tile written by Enya on her "Shepard Moon's" album and one of my favorite authors Margaret Weis. This is just a rough draft to see if there is any interest in a story like this. Thank you for reading. Please respond.


The first blush of dawn painted false roses on her cheek as the breeze gently ruffled her hair. "To look at her, you'd think she was sleeping," he thought, "only sleeping." He hesitantly reached out, touching the cooling skin of her face, letting his fingers trail through her hair. But the rising light revealed the lie behind the words, illuminating the dark congealing stain on her chest. With a half sob, he clasped her in his arms one final time. "O, Sakura!" And he began to rock back and forth.


"Li," a voice called. Again, "Li.". Then, very gently, "Syaoran, it is time."

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Hey, Sakura, if we hurry we can still catch them!" Li yelled as he scrambled toward the front of the cavern. He paused as he sensed no one following. He turned, eyes falling on the frozen tableau at the far end of the cavern.

Sakura leaned against the rock wall, hands splayed on each side holding her upright, her eyes tightly closed. To one side Kero hovered distractedly while Yue gazed at them from Sakura's other side.

That something was horribly wrong, Li had no doubt but it refused to register in his mind. He stupidly stared back at the three. Just then Sakura opened her eyes and gave a small tremulous smile. Seeing that smile galvanized Li into action and he rushed back to Sakura.

"What's wrong?!" Sakura said nothing.

"She's been touched." Yue stated simply.

"That's not possible! I saw!" But Yue turned from Sakura and locked gazes with Li. Desperately Li shook his head. "No! It's not true. She used the Sword to keep them at bay. You saw, didn't you? And then," he fumbled for the words," then, she used the shield card. They could not touch her. They did not touch her!" This last he shouted, as if by this very act he could make it true. But, looking at Yue, he saw the truth.

Turning from Yue, Li looked to Kero. The small golden animal refused to meet his gaze. Finally, Li turned to Sakura. She mutely returned his gaze and he knew the truth. Even as he watched, the brilliance of her emerald eyes began to cloud over as pain began to blossom in her body. Suddenly she began to fall but Li was there to catch her.

"Please, Yue." Kero pleaded. "There must be something, anything we can do!"

"Yes, there must be." Li cast about frantically even as he felt the first convulsion of Sakura's body held tight against his own. "It cannot end like this, Yue. Sakura's not meant to die! Not here. Not like this! You must do something!! You are her guardian!"

Yue's eyes blazed blue. "I must do something?! Don't you think I would if I could? I would move heaven and earth to keep her safe, to keep her here!" Then gently. "A price was demanded, a price was paid. Sakura has made the choice. It is her right as the card mistress." Yue turned away. "I knew what was coming. And so did she. But she refused me. She refused me!" Turning back to Li. "In my own way, I love her. But I could not spare her this destiny."

As Li looked back at Yue, for one brief moment the façade broke and Li saw Yue's anguish. Then, just as quickly, it was gone. Behind him, Kero started to sniffle.

Yue began to move toward the head of the cavern and Kero followed. "Wait!" Li looked at Sakura and then back to Yue. "I don't know what to do?"

"Yes you do. But be quick, please. The poison is eating her soul, Li. It will be very painful for her before to much longer." Li looked into the deep wisdom of those eyes.

"But, I only have a sword . . . I . . . I. . ."

Yue nodded to Kero and Kero returned to Li. A bright flash fell to the cavern floor at the feet of Li and Sakura. A dagger.

"Thank you," in a choked whisper and Yue and Kero left. Li lifted the dagger, hefting its weight and refusing to look at Sakura.

"Syaoran." Softly, o so softly his name fell like cool rain onto his fevered mind. He held Sakura tighter. "Yes?"

"Syaoran, please don't let it be here. I . . . I want to feel the air and see the sky."

Tears began to fall from Li's eyes. "Anything for Sakura." He gave her a weak smile. "Can you walk?"

"Yes." Li helped Sakura to her feet and together they made their way to the surface. Long before they made their way out, Sakura faltered. Without pausing, Li swept her up in his arms and continued.

"Syaoran? It hurts."

"Hush, love. I know. Soon it will all be over. I promise."

At that moment, they entered into the world, greeted by the false dawn and the twinkling of far away stars. Syaoran found a small clearing in the trees and laid Sakura down. Sitting beside her, Li drank in the sight of her, memorizing her every line.

"It is very beautiful here. I'm glad it is here, and that you are with me." Reluctantly, Li raised his eyes to the far horizon and the gradual lightening of the sky, trying to find the beauty. He heard a gasp. Panicking he turned back to Sakura. She writhed on the ground, her body twisting in agony.

"Sakura!" He grabbed her arms, watching helplessly, full of anguish that he could not spare her this pain. Slowly, her body stopped its convulsion and Sakura's breathing slowed. She gazed up at Li. "Please forgive me. I never meant to leave you."

"Sakura!" He sobbed out. She softly laid her fingers over his mouth. "Shhh, love. Remember the sakura tree?" He nodded and watched as tears began to fill her eyes. But she smiled. A smile only for him. "I will wait for you there. It is not your time. But when it is, I will be there."

With her eyes still trained on his face, Sakura's other hand slowly moved down Li's arm until reaching his hand with the dagger. She carefully picked up his hand and placed it at her breast, the point of the dagger pricking through her clothes. Her hand returned to his face. Her finger tips gently brushed at the tears running heedlessly from down his face. Gently, Sakura pulled Li's face down toward hers until they were almost touching.

"I love you, my Little Wolf. Remember that." Li closed Sakura's eyes. Closing the distance, he laid his lips against hers. One hand brushed her hair from her face and the other firmly grasped the dagger. One push, and it was over. Sakura gave one final sigh and relaxed. He held her all the more tightly. His sobs welled up, choking him with their need to escape. Once the storm subsided, Li gently laid Sakura back to the earth, watching as the lines of pain disappeared from her face.

In the distance, Yue looked on the two forms, the one of sorrow and the other of peace as he held the weeping Kero.

"Li," he called. Then more insistently, "Li." Li began rocking back and forth. Yue called one more time, quitely. "Syaoran, it is time."

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The overcast sky hung heavy, pressing down on Li as he trudged down the street. The days had been long and difficult since that morning on the mountain top. It seemed eons ago now.

Coming back, Li submerged himself in work, in exercise. Going to bed exhausted, waking exhausted, all in an effort not to think. Thanking was dangerous. Thinking brought memories, memories brought feelings and feelings brought . . . NO!

Li's feet stopped. Surprised, he looked up and before him stood a tree, its branches gently waiving in the still air. He stepped up to the tree. He remembered. Turning, he placed his back against the trunk and slid down until his legs stretched out before him. Loosely clasping his hands in his lap, Li let his head fall back and closed his eyes.

"I'm done." He stated quietly. "The task you gave me, it is done." He paused, as if waiting for an answer. Greeted only by silence he spoke again. "Please, Sakura. I'm so tired." Tears welled out from his eyes and slowly slipped down his face. Then, something gentle brushed his cheek. Hardly daring to hope, Li opened his eyes. Petals. Sakura petals quietly fell all around him, brushing against his hands, his face, his lips, hiding the world from his view. He closed his eyes again.

"I am ready now." He gave one last sigh. "I love you, my Cherry Blossom."

~Graceful Willow
13 April 2001